by Kelly, Marie
I knew from the beginning that he fucked other women, and I hated knowing that, but I was just so confident in who I was that I knew eventually he would stop for me. I was beautiful, and every man who looked at me wanted me. Knowing who I was and what I had to offer, I stuck with my man—being loyal to him and being his ride or die bitch.
And then, one day, my eyes were finally opened to the lies I had been feeding myself. I closed my eyes and allowed that night to play back in my mind.
Jackson had been out of town for business, and although he told me he would pick me up tomorrow, I was just too anxious to see him. I had missed him for the week, and tomorrow was too far away. So, I drove to his house and used the key I had cut for myself to get into his house.
He would probably be mad to know I made a key for his house, but once he saw me in this outfit, he won’t be mad for too long. I told myself as I made my way through his house to find him.
I heard his voice coming from his office, and just as I was about to open the door, what he was saying had me stuck.
“Bro, I’m getting older. I need to stop with all these bitches in the street and settle down,” he said, and that caused a smile to form on my face because I had finally won.
It had been four long years that I had put into Jackson, and it was finally paying off.
“Come on, bro, the fuck you wanna do that shit for? Bitches are made for fucking!” His big brother Percy laughed, and I rolled my eyes.
He was always encouraging Jackson to be out there in the streets, and I hated it!
“I got to do right by her, P. It’s time I settled down and married her.”
The smile on my face was so big that it was hurting! This was all I had ever wanted from Jackson, and I was finally getting it. Knowing that out of all the bitches he had in rotation, he was picking me had tears of joy sliding down my face.
“Marry her? Jackson, are you sure?”
“Yeah. I love her, man. She’s been down with me through all the shit I’ve done. All the bitches, I fucked, she still stayed and had my sons. I gotta do right by her. Amanda is my world.”
As those words left his mouth, my world came crashing down around me. This whole time I thought he was talking about me, but he was talking about another bitch. A bitch I didn’t even know had his sons!
Jackson was a secretive man, and other than fucking, we hardly spoke. I believed that was because he was trying to be tough and shut me out, but I damn sure didn’t know it was because he loved another bitch!
I snapped out of my thoughts and wiped the tears off my cheeks. That day happened over twenty years ago, but the pain never. Until that point, I really believed that Jackson loved me. There wasn’t anything I didn’t do for that man, and it was all for nothing.
That night, his brother asked about me, and Jackson said first thing tomorrow, he was cutting me off. Me! The bitch who let this nigga hold drugs, weapons, and money in my apartment. The bitch who overlooked the days he turned up drunk at my crib smelling like another bitch. The bitch who rode hard for him, he was going to cut off just like that.
Like I wasn’t shit.
I had never been so hurt in my life as I was that night. I was embarrassed because everybody who had ears, I was telling them that I was Jackson’s woman—including my family. They used to laugh at me when I spoke about Jackson and I being together, and I wanted to prove them all wrong, but they were right.
It broke my heart to know he picked another woman over me and that she had his children. That night, I found out she had just given birth to his third son. Something I always thought I would do. That night, Jackson changed something in me, and sweet, innocent Faye died that night.
My mind told me to walk away, but my pride wouldn’t allow me to. Four years I had put into Jackson, put up with his bullshit, and did anything he asked me to do, and I couldn’t walk away with nothing to show for it.
Yeah, he gave me money, and I had a few nice clothes, bags, and shoes out of it, but that wasn’t what I wanted—I wanted a man—my man! And that was Jackson.
So, I left that night, and I started to follow him around until he finally led me to that bitch, Amanda. When I saw how he had her living in a mini mansion while I was still in my tiny apartment, my hate for her grew.
I watched through her window how Jackson loved on her and his sons like they were the cure to world diseases. From the seat of my car, I could see the love he had for her in the way he touched her and held her. Every time she walked past him, he would touch her in some way—like he was addicted to her, and it hurt my soul because he never touched me in that way.
For one whole week, I watched him with his secret family, and not once did he call or text me. Just like he told Percy he would, Jackson texted me to say that what we had was over and to have a good life.
For that whole week, all types of thoughts ran through my mind, and I wanted to kill him—to kill them all, but I couldn’t kill him because I still loved him. That’s when I realized that it wasn’t him but her! She was poison and needed to go.
The idea of killing her crossed my mind many times, and I planned to do that as soon as he left her, but then another idea came to me.
A few days later, Jackson finally left for work, and when I saw him kiss her like his life depended on it, I knew right then that I had no choice but to do what I did.
I waited an hour for him to leave before I left my car and went to her house. After all the years of dealing with Jackson, I had picked up a few traits, and breaking into someone’s house undetected was one of them.
Once I was inside, the pain in my heart increased when I saw pictures of them together all over the house—especially when he wouldn’t allow me to take any pictures of us together. In all the pictures I could see their love for each other, and he looked happy.
When I made it to her room, I found her asleep in her bed, and she was beautiful! From where I was sitting in my car, I couldn’t clearly see what she looked like, but there was no denying her beauty as I looked down at her sleeping face. Even if I wanted to deny him loving her, I could see why. She made me look cute compared to her stunning beauty.
My eyes then landed on the tiny baby sleeping in his crib. He looked like Jackson, even though he was only weeks old, and my jealousy grew.
Doing what I went in there to do, I knocked her out using chloroform on a cloth, and once I was sure she was out, I injected her with pure crack.
I knew that killing her wouldn’t work because Jackson loved her. I needed him to hate her; to despise her, and I knew turning her into an addict would do just that.
For weeks, I did the same thing every time he left until the drugs finally took over. Seeing her deteriorate right before my eyes was the best thing in the world. Jackson was losing his mind and did everything in his power to help her, but it was to no avail.
Eventually, he came back to me—I knew it was for comfort, but that was okay with me because I had my man back. And then, one night, Amanda disappeared.
That was the night God came through for me! Jackson finally hit his brick wall, and he gave up on her. The only thing I wasn’t expecting was for him to take his sons and have them move in with him. But that was just another chance for me to show him that I was there for him.
A few months later—after I started helping him with the boys—he moved me into his house, and we finally got together. Sometime after that, Amanda was dead, and I had finally won, right?
Well, that’s what I thought until I found myself waiting for Jackson to love me how he loved her. To look at me and hold me the way I had seen him doing to her, but that never came! Not even on our wedding night did he look at me how he looked at her.
In fact, we didn’t even have a big wedding—not like the one I knew he wanted to give to her—we just went down to the courthouse. I was okay with that at the time because I thought I had finally won. I may have won the man, but I didn’t win his heart.
For years, my love for my husband turned to hat
e and resentment as I saw that he never truly loved me like he loved her, and that’s how Guns happened.
I chuckled and shook my head to myself as I remembered how gullible and easy that stupid little nigga was.
By the time Guns turned fourteen, I knew that I was going to use him to finally get back at Jackson. I no longer loved him or wanted to be with him. Now it was about revenge, revenge for him making me look like a fool.
Everyone with eyes could see that he didn’t love me—not like he loved Amanda. The motherfucker had mourned her all these years right in my face! All the times he told his sons that they favored her in some ways, I knew he was still thinking about that bitch! Even in the grave, she had a hold on my man that I never had. And, for that, he and his bastard sons needed to go. But killing them wasn’t going to be enough for me; I needed to destroy them all, and that’s when my plan came to mind.
Guns was the key, and I used that to my advantage.
Out of the three boys, Guns looked more like Amanda than the other two, so I knew that every time Jackson looked at him, he saw her. That was why he never wanted Guns involved in the drug business. He felt like he was still hurting Amanda by involving Guns to deal with the same thing that cost her life, so he trained him to be a hitta instead.
I knew this, but I told Guns it was because they resented him and thought he would fuck shit up. And the little nigga believed me. He started acting out—distancing himself from them—allowing me to get into his head. Fucking him was never in the plan, but I knew if I could make him fall in love with me, he would do anything I asked of him—including selling his brothers out, and that’s exactly what he did.
Plus, it was the satisfaction of knowing that I was fucking Jackson’s son right behind his back! That was my way of getting him back for fucking me while I knew he thought about that bitch. It was also my way of pissing on her grave too by fucking her youngest son. Wrath and Surge were too clued up and loyal to fall for my plan.
“He really thought I loved him,” I said to myself, thinking about Guns, and laughed.
He is pitiful and weak, just like his mother! I thought as I sat up in my bed.
A huge smile crossed my face when I realized that I wouldn’t have to fuck him anymore. Although for a young kid, Guns’ dick was good and lethal, knowing he shared blood with Jackson and Amanda made me feel sick to my stomach every time we fucked.
I hated both of them with an unhealthy passion, and that made me hate Guns too because he was a product of their love—a reminder that Jackson was never mine. The motherfucker wouldn’t even give me kids over the years! His excuse was that three was enough, but I knew differently. He didn’t want anyone but Amanda to carry his kids.
The only thing I liked was seeing and hearing how much Guns really did love me because it made me wish his dad loved me like that. Still, he and his whole family needed to go and pay for all the suffering I went through.
Teaming up with Kevin and my nephew Bully were just contingency plans to make sure that one way or the other, they all went down.
My eyes landed on my clock, and knowing now that it should all be over since it had been a few hours after Bully left my house, I decided to call him to get an update.
Happily sighing because I was finally free from the poison Jackson Ramsey, I picked up my phone to call my nephew.
His mom was my sister, and although I couldn’t stand her—because she was one of the people who laughed when I said I was going to be with Jackson—her son would do anything for money, so as soon as I told him about Jackson, his sons, and their empire, he was all in.
I needed someone who Jackson couldn’t link back to me, so Bully was the perfect person. I had stopped talking to my family a very long time ago, but Jackson never cared enough about me to even attempt to meet them, so he didn’t know them. If he did, he would have seen that my nephew looked just like my sister and mother!
Thank God I looked like my father, I thought as I waited for my nephew to answer my call. When the call went to his voicemail, I tried a few more times and then a funny feeling hit me in the stomach.
“No, there’s no way. Please.” I started to panic because Bully always answered my calls. In addition to that, he said he would call me as soon as everyone was dead, and it had been hours. Now seeing that he wasn’t answering his phone had me worried.
“Shit.”
It can’t be! Please, God!
After years and years of planning, of pretending that I was happy with Jackson, I would be devastated if it was all for nothing.
I tried Bully’s phone again and hearing his voicemail pick up once again caused a lump to form in my throat. I started to think that maybe I was paranoid and he was probably busy, so I decided to test that theory by calling Guns’ phone. And when that went to voicemail after me calling a few times, I knew that it wasn’t just my paranoia.
“No! No! No!”
They knew!
Just like Bully always answered my calls, so did Guns. No matter what.
Tears flowed down my cheeks. I was heartbroken. All my hard work went down the drain in a blink of an eye. But my tears immediately stopped when I realized that I wasn’t out of options just yet.
Jumping up from my bed, I threw on some clothes, packed a bag and left my house.
“They think this is the end, but I’m just beginning!” I gritted as I climbed into my car and drove away into the night while placing a call to my last hope.
“Hello,” he answered, and I smirked.
“It’s me. Did you still want to help me?”
He chuckled and said, “I thought you would never ask.”
Music to my ears!
Meshach ‘Guns’ Ramsey
“ARGGGHHHHHHH!!!!” Bully screamed after my brother, Wrath cut his other hand off.
We had been torturing the nigga for about an hour, and he wasn’t saying shit. I sat in the corner with my head down, knowing I had caused all this shit.
All these years I believed Faye when she told me that my pops didn’t love me or want me around and that he was pushing me out of the empire because he thought I was a fuck up. I believed her! I believed that she loved me. I allowed her to get into my head and I almost caused my family to lose their lives.
Shit was bad, and I had fucked up. There were no words I could say to undo all that I did. All the pain and problems I caused my family—my dad. I didn’t see how much I loved him until I saw the pain in his eyes—the love for me that I was too blind to see before was evident in his eyes. He loved me, and I had let him down. Betrayed him and slept with his wife.
Other than looks here and there, none of them had said anything to me. Not even when my mom asked them to, they didn’t say anything to me.
It was mind-blowing to find out that Cookie was my mother. Because I didn’t deal directly with the drugs, I didn’t see her as often as the others did, but I knew who she was. Instead of us spending this time catching up on lost time with her, we were fixing the mess I made.
Sighing, I dropped my head lower than it already was.
“Where is Faye?!” My dad’s voice echoed around the warehouse.
After we found Surge alive and well, we dropped our mom at a safe house and went looking for Faye, but she wasn’t at my dad’s house. Some of her things were gone, which let us know that she knew we were after her and went missing.
I had even led them to the condo I shared with her which came up empty too. Wrath looked at me in a funny way when we arrived there as well as my dad. I knew I had fucked up, and showing them just how much hurt me.
The whole time, I was so sure in what I was doing and how I was going to feel no type of way once I revealed who I was with after I was made king, but that wasn’t how I felt when I showed them that I was sharing a condo with Faye.
Whenever my pops went away on business, we would spend time together there. But she wasn’t there.
Wrath had Glasses try to track her location from mine and Bully’s phone, but the phone w
ent dead after she called us while we were still in the street with Kevin. By the time Glasses started to track her phone, it was off.
“Fuck you!” Bully weakly said, which was all he had been saying the whole time.
Letting out a long breath, I stood to my feet and walked over to my brothers. Since we walked into the warehouse, I had been sitting in my seat trying to figure out how I allowed myself to be played to the point that I turned on my family.
“Do you really believe I was the only one she was working with?” Bully asked and laugh before he looked right at me. “Why don’t you ask her man.”
Everyone turned to face me.
“I told y’all what I knew already. To be honest, some of this shit is news to me,” I honestly answered and dropped my head.
The whole time, I believed that it was just Faye and I in all of this, so knowing she was Bully’s aunt and fucking Detective Alfred too was news to me—devastating news.
“Hurts like a motherfucker being lied to, doesn’t it?” Wrath gritted, and I sighed.
“Just kill this nigga. She will show her face again soon,” my dad said, and Legion shot Bully twice in the head.
Once he took his last breath, everyone turned to look at me.
“Are you sure you told us everything, Guns?” Surge snapped at me, and I nodded.
“I thought it was just me. I had no idea that she was working with Bully or Kevin.”
“And she never mentioned anyone else or a place she may go?” my dad asked.
“No, Pops. When we were together, we only spoke about y’all and whatever plans we had.”
Everyone’s face changed when I said that, and I could understand why.
“Whatever. Wrath, put a price on her head. She can’t get that far,” my dad ordered, and Wrath nodded. “But then again, it seems like I didn’t know my own fucking wife after all,” he added with his eyes burning into mine.
“Wrath, my boys were in on it too, not just Richard’s,” I said, and he clenched his jaw.
“You were working with Richard too?”
