by Kelly, Marie
We locked eyes, and after almost three years, I still blushed and got nervous when he looked at me. It was something about the way his beautiful hazel eyes looked right through me that did something to me. And I knew it wasn’t anything I would ever get used to.
“That’s because you were the most beautiful person I had ever seen. And now, I have two of you to look at.”
He rubbed his nose against mine, kissed my lips, and then kissed the side of Mercy’s face.
“Three,” I said, and he looked at me.
“What you say, baby?”
I looked down into my lap and then back up at him.
“I said three. You may have three of us to look at.”
Pharaoh’s eyes widened, his mouth dropped, and then he looked at my stomach.
“You’re pregnant?” he asked, and I nodded.
A few days ago, while I was making love to Pharaoh, he sucked on my breasts, and they were so sore. I knew without a doubt that I was pregnant again. I took a test yesterday, and it confirmed what I already knew.
“Pharaoh!” I squealed when he swooped me up into his arms and spun me around.
“Put me down!” I laughed, but he wasn’t listening to me.
He spun us around a few more times and only stopped to kiss all over my face.
When he finally put me back down on my feet, he grabbed my face and kissed me so deeply that it took my breath away.
“Thank you, A’Moya,” he said, looking into my eyes, and I felt myself tearing up. “You took a chance on me, and I can never thank you enough for blessing my life.”
“You’re a blessing in my life too, Pharaoh. You set me free.”
We kissed again, and then he picked up Mercy.
She started to cry because she wasn’t finished eating and we both laughed at her.
Pharaoh kissed her face, held her with one arm, and wrapped the other around me. I wrapped my arms around them both.
He kissed the top of my head, and I looked up at him.
“We are going to be okay, you know that, right?” he asked.
“I know.”
Dior Alfred
“Where do you want this?” Kanada asked, holding up more gifts, and I pointed to the table.
“Just over there, sis. Thank you.”
Today was my baby shower. I was six months pregnant with Jashawn’s big headed son who had me looking like a damn whale. Jashawn and I got engaged, and then the nigga got me pregnant on the same night. I knew he planned that shit too! I wasn’t mad because I was ready to have his baby.
We had been through so much, and we still made it out. There was a time when I thought that there was no going back after all that my dad tried to do, but I guess God had his plan for us. What felt like a mistake and regret ended up being the best decision we ever made. I knew that if I had never met Jashawn, my dad would have carried out his plan and destroyed his life over something he did. But, by us getting together, it not only saved Jashawn and his family but my dad too.
Since my brother died, my dad had been harboring his feelings instead of dealing with them. The night he chose to help Jashawn was the beginning of him letting it go, and my dad was back to being the man he used to be.
Jashawn and my dad had a deep friendship now, to the point that sometimes my daddy didn’t even come to our house to see me! Who would have thought? But I couldn’t have been happier.
Our families had merged—including Trojan—and life was perfect.
Now all I needed to do was hurry up and have this greedy ass baby so I could get my body back!
“Dior!” I turned to face the door when I heard Gia’s voice, and I immediately rushed to my best friend—well, I moved as fast as my fat ass would let me and wrapped my arms around her.
“You came!” I was so excited to see her.
My bestie had been busy studying and working, so there was barely any time for us to meet up.
“I told you I was coming, and damn friend, is that all baby?” She pulled back and looked down at my stomach.
“No! Don’t be blaming my son. She was greedy before, so you know she’s fucking some food up,” Jashawn said walking past, and I slapped the hell out of him.
“Stop lying!”
“Um, friend, you know you can fuck some food up,” Gia added, and I looked over at her.
“Bitch, you’re supposed to be on my side!”
Gia shrugged, and Jashawn laughed, kissed her cheek, and walked away with Alvaro right behind him.
“I thought this was a ladies’ thing only?” Gia asked, looking around at Jashawn talking to his brothers, and I laughed.
“His brothers weren’t going to stay away.”
They did everything together, and I wasn’t mad about that because my family was just the same.
Even when A’Moya was giving birth to Mercy, all of us were there waiting at the hospital.
When Jashawn asked me to marry him, I found out that his brothers went with him to pick out my ring, and that they did the same to Alvaro. If you saw one Ramsey man, you saw the others not far behind. And usually, us women were right behind them too! We were all very close now, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Sis, do you need me to do anything?” Meshach walked over and asked.
“Um, no, everything is done. I think we can start now,” I said just as my parents and Trojan walked through the door.
“Aight,” Meshach said, and then he looked down at Gia. “Sup.” He nodded to her and walked away.
“Bitccchhh, tell your brother in law to keep his distance before I forget myself!” Gia said and fanned herself as I laughed. “I might fuck around and end up like you.” She pointed to my stomach.
“Couldn’t stay off that five foot dick, could you?” she asked, and we both fell out laughing, remembering the night I found Jashawn in the back of my car and how his dick was hard as hell the next morning.
I was laughing so much, I had tears running down my face.
“Don’t knock it until you try it,” I said.
“Hell no, I’m good!” she said, looked around, and then turned back to face me. “What’s his name, anyway?”
When Gia came around, it was usually just Shawn and me, so she didn’t really know Meshach. Plus, with him taking over New Jersey, he bought a house out there, so we hardly saw him.
Gia was more familiar with Alvaro and Pharaoh because I spent a lot of time with Kanada and A’Moya. And the four of us usually went out for lunch together.
“Meshach, but they call him Guns.”
“Guns?” Her face contorted. “Nah, bitch, you ain’t about to fix me up with a nigga with a name like Guns, knowing his dick could probably kill me anyway. I can see it now, my obituary gon’ say she died doing what she loved—riding dick.”
“Still not a bad way to die.” We laughed together. “You should try it.”
“It was trying it that got you like that. Don’t encourage her,” Trojan said, giving me a funny look and then he kissed my cheek.
After everything happened, I had a sit down and talked to Trojan. He thought I was angry at him for the things my dad was doing, but I wasn’t. I was angry because as his best friend, I went to my Godfather to help my dad, but instead, he fed into it for his own gain.
My dad was slowly losing his mind after my brother died, and Trojan used that to get what he wanted. He put the streets before his family, Gia, and my dad. Where my dad couldn’t see the difference between right and wrong, Trojan could and did nothing.
He explained that he did continue out for selfish reasons, but we managed to make peace. Plus, with him being my best friend’s dad, I couldn’t avoid him forever. And he was working with Alvaro too. It just made sense to forgive and forget.
“Can I just say for the record that I was asleep, and when I woke up, she was pregnant,” Jashawn yelled, and everyone laughed.
I gave him a look, and he winked at me. But I just smirked because he wasn’t going to get a damn thing from me and di
dn’t even know it.
“You look beautiful, Dior.” My dad hugged me.
“Thank you, Daddy.”
He looked down at me and rubbed my stomach. And then my momma kissed my cheeks after. She then walked away to talk to Ma. They had sparked up a little friendship too.
“Excuse me for a second,” Gia said and slipped away.
“Wasn’t there enough of those niggas already? You needed to bring another damn Ramsey?” Trojan asked with his nose turned up, and I fell out laughing.
“What can I say? There’s just something about those Ramsey men,” I said, and my dad frowned.
“Well, I’m glad it was you and not Gia. I think I would have lost my damn mind!” Trojan laughed but stopped when my pops looked at him.
They had this thing going on where Trojan always teased my dad about me getting with Jashawn. Things were good between everyone, but Trojan still found it funny that I was with someone who my dad once saw as his enemy.
My dad’s face suddenly changed, and he smiled.
“Don’t talk too soon, nigga.” My dad laughed and pointed.
When I turned, my mouth dropped to see Gia smiling up in Guns’ face. Everybody around stopped talking to look at them.
“Gia! Come here!” Trojan roared, and they both looked over at him. “Nigga, don’t even think about it,” he said, and Guns laughed.
He said something to Gia, and they both walked out before closing the door behind them.
Trojan’s mouth dropped, and my dad fell out laughing.
“I swear I hate those motherfuckers. I need a drink,” Trojan gritted and walked away.
I couldn’t do anything but laugh along with my dad.
“Welcome to the family, bruh,” Alvaro called out behind Trojan, and he stuck his finger up, making Alvaro cry laughing.
Jashawn walked over to me, and after shaking hands with my dad, he hugged me close to him.
Our family was dysfunctional, but I wouldn’t change them for the world. Our worlds collided when I found myself enticed by a thug love!
“I love you,” Jashawn, said rubbing my stomach and I rose on my toes to kiss his lips too.
“I love you more.”
Pharaoh ‘Legion’ Ramsey
A few days later
“Grandma. Can you say, Grandma, Mercy?” I asked my daughter as I bounced her in my arms.
She gave me the biggest smile ever, looking just like her mother but with my eyes, and my heart melted. She was so beautiful, and I loved her more than anything in this world. Just like her mother, Mercy was my weakness and strength.
Giving her a quick kiss, I passed her back to A’Moya. She gave me a kiss on the lips and then took a step back.
“We will be in the car if you need us,” she said, and I nodded.
I watched my family walk back to our car before I turned around and took a deep breath.
Rubbing my hands across the top, I smiled at her picture and took a seat on the grass. I looked up at her picture again and took a deep breath before speaking.
“Hi, Mom.”
For the first time, I was finally free to get a headstone for my mom. I wanted to do it before, but my guilt and fear wouldn’t allow me to. With A’Moya and my family behind me, I found the strength to do something I should have done a long time ago.
Luckily, Auntie Amanda had an old picture of the two of them when they were at school—long before I came along. In the picture, my mother looked so beautiful and happy. She looked free.
When my auntie found out that my mother died because of me, there were tears from her, but she didn’t blame me. She told me the same thing A’Moya did; that my mother happily died to save me.
“I’m sorry it took me this long to get this done for you. I’m sorry for a lot of things, Mom. I’m sorry that you are even here, to begin with,” I said as the first set of tears slid down my face.
I didn’t even wipe it away because I needed it. To release.
“So much has happened since you have been gone. I fell into a dark place, Mom, and I know that you would have been so disappointed in me.” I sniveled.
“I turned into the same man you didn’t want me to become but who he wanted me to be,” I said, talking about my dad.
“I was hurt, angry, and lost, Momma. I needed you, and knowing you wasn’t here because of me tore me up inside. I didn’t know how to process it, so I lashed out on the world.”
I looked behind me to see A’Moya sitting in my car, looking through the window at me. When our eyes met, she gave me the biggest smile and then blew a kiss at me, making me chuckle through my tears.
“But then, one night I met someone special, Momma,” I said, still looking at Moya before blowing a kiss back her way and turning to look at my mother’s picture again.
“The second I laid eyes on her, Mom, something in me changed. Usually, I didn’t give a damn about anyone—not even myself, Momma, but with her I found myself stuck. Unable to move. And when she found herself in danger, I saved her, Mom. But I didn’t know that she was the one saving me.” I smiled, thinking about the night I met A’Moya and how my life was never the same again.
“I tried to fight it, I really did until I realized how much she reminded me of you. You both have the same beautiful soul and loving spirit. And then I knew right then that you sent her here for me. I wish you could have met her because I know you would have loved her, Momma. She saved me and set me free.”
I wiped a hand over her picture again.
“Now, I’m happy, Momma. Really happy and free. Percy is gone, and the hold he had on me is gone too. I’m sorry that I didn’t have the strength to stand up to him, but then I think that you wouldn’t have wanted that for me too.” I smiled.
“We have a baby girl now with another on the way, and we named her after you. She looks just like her mom, but she has our eyes, Momma. I see you when I look at her too sometimes. The way she smiles and her laughter lights up a room, reminds me of you. I miss you more than you would ever know, but I wanted to let you know that I’m fine, Momma.”
After staring at her picture for a few more seconds, I slowly stood to my feet.
“Sleep in peace, Momma, and I promise to come and visit you often. Keep watching over me and thank you for sending my family to me.”
I leaned forward and kissed her picture, allowing my lips to linger for a while before pulling away and walking back to my car.
When I climbed in, A’Moya wiped my wet face and then kissed my cheek.
“Are you okay, Pharaoh?” she asked me, and I grabbed her hand to kiss the back of it.
“I am now, baby.”
I pecked her perfect lips a few times, turned to look at my sweet daughter and smiled.
Thank you, Mom!
Amanda Ramsey
“Jackson, stop! The boys will be here soon.” I laughed and tried to push my husband away, but he wasn’t letting me go.
“Just five more minutes,” he said, trying to roll back on top of me, but I pushed him up.
“You’ve been saying that for the past hour!”
He looked down at me and chuckled.
“What can I say, baby? I just can’t get enough of you.”
I smiled and stroked his face as I looked into his eyes.
In two years, so much had changed!
After the day the boys came to see me in the rehab, they started to visit regularly. Things were still a little strained in the beginning, but eventually, it got better until they finally forgave me. But first, I had to forgive myself.
All those years ago, I thought that I was saving my family from having to go through what I was doing, but in the end, I did more damage than good.
Had I stayed, I would have been able to protect Meshach from Faye. To know she not only interfered with my youngest son and turned him against his family, but that she was also the cause of my drug addiction, killing her was a must.
Rehab for me was a success, and I got clean the first time around because
I had a reason to get clean this time. Over the years, I had tried by myself, but what I had done would always cloud my mind and push me back to it. I needed my family more than I thought I did, and they needed me.
Once I left rehab, Jackson moved me into the new house he had bought. I tried to fight him on that because I was too ashamed to believe that he would still want me, but he did. There was no denying that after all these years, I still loved him because I did. Along with the boys, he was all I thought about.
I had missed Jackson so much.
Although he spent a lot of time in the streets, we did have good times, and he was so good to me. We were happy until we weren’t. To know that he still had love for me all these years melted my heart, and I couldn’t hold it anymore. I wanted him and needed him in my life.
The boys were so accepting of us getting back together, and they allowed me back into their lives as if I had never left.
Less than a year later, Jackson surprised me by asking me to marry him. It was a day he told me he wanted to do many years ago. We got married almost immediately, because he didn’t want to wait, and there wasn’t a dry eye in sight—including my boys.
God had led me back to my family, and I could never thank him enough.
Now, I was a married woman with four sons, three grandchildren, and three on the way. Life was good, and God was better!
As for my sons, we all had developed a strong relationship and, and I had done the same with the women in their lives. Kanada was a blessing to Alvaro, and so was her son, TJ. I met Brittany a few times because he wanted me to know who KeKe’s mother was, and I was so damn glad he didn’t choose to be with her. From the moment I laid eyes on her, I could see that she wasn’t for Alvaro.
Jackson told me that Alvaro didn’t look as happy messing with Brittany as he did with Kanada and that was all the confirmation I needed. Kanada was a sweetheart, and my heart went out to her when she told me all that she had gone through at the hands of her baby father. The nigga had some problems, and I was happy to know that Alvaro beat his ass! My son went by the name of Wrath, and it definitely fit!
