And then Ethan would feel the full extent of his desire.
****
Ryan forced his tears to dry up quickly. He’d learned to do so at Haldon’s brutal instruction. Crying never solved anything, and what did he have to be so upset about anyway? Two viable candidates for his next mate were available for his consideration. No omega had it better than that. Ever. He should be overjoyed at his opportunities instead of showing his immaturity. Milo was counting on him to make a smart decision. Or would have been if he were old enough to understand that his future depended on his father making the right choice.
After long minutes of awkward quiet, Loki laid a tentative hand on his shoulder before snatching it back as if Ryan would bite it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. Ben’s right, I need to do better at thinking before I speak.”
Ryan wanted to be mad at the omega. He hadn’t forgiven him for putting Griffin at risk, but then again, that resentment was driven by exactly what Loki had asked about.
Ethan chimed in as well. “I was also out of line talking about Elijah. It’s not my place to speak for him, and I should have considered that you might not be interested.”
“No, it’s okay. Neither of you did anything wrong. I’m just really tired, I guess.”
“I knew it.” This from Kyle who had returned that very second. The alpha mate held out his hands as he came over. “Here, give Milo to me. I’ll watch him while you get some rest.”
Ryan looked down at his son and had to smile. The pup had gone into a milk coma, eyes closed, body slack, and his lips twitching without really sucking. “Thanks, Kyle, but you don’t have to. He’s sleeping now, so I’ll take him to our room for a nap.”
Kyle nudged Loki away and knelt beside Ryan. “No. You know better than I do that he doesn’t necessarily stay asleep for long. You need a proper rest, so give him over.” He beckoned with outstretched hands.
Ryan was reluctant to do it, yet he also understood that he was in no position to argue with the alpha mate. Milo only made a quick moue and uttered a short whimper as he was disengaged from Ryan’s nipple and handed over to Kyle’s waiting arms. The pup settled quickly, too, used to his brother’s touch. Ryan was really fortunate that Lorcan and Kyle didn’t merely tolerate Milo’s presence. They fully embraced him in their lives. Kyle looked down at the pup with such obvious love that it brought fresh tears to Ryan’s eyes.
He quickly wiped them away. “Thanks. I guess I could use the uninterrupted sleep. Maybe I should lie down here.”
Kyle shook his head. “No way. There’s too much noise here for a proper rest. Come on, I’ll walk you back to the longhouse. I want to talk to Joey about the lunch preparations.”
In the process of getting up, Ryan paused, guilt eating at him. “Oh, if you’re busy…”
“I can multi-task, Ryan. Hope has given me plenty of practice. Caring for Milo is easy in comparison.”
“If you’re sure?” Ryan asked as he waved good-bye to the others.
“Gods, Ryan, you’re pissing me off.” The alpha mate strode out of the weaving hut with Ryan hot on his heels.
“I’m sorry,” Ryan offered quietly. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”
Kyle sighed. “See now, that’s what I’m talking about. You don’t have to be so deferential all the time.”
Ryan almost laughed at the idea. “You’re the alpha mate, and I’m not anymore. I know my place in the pack.”
“We’re family. I appreciate the respect, of course, but you’re not here on sufferance. You don’t have to earn your place. It’s yours by right.”
“You and I both know that’s not true.” He nearly bit his tongue the moment the words came out. A confrontation was not what he wanted. It didn’t even make sense given how Kyle was trying to be kind.
Kyle stopped, forcing Ryan to do the same. “Oh, Ryan, do you really think Lorcan was considering refusing you and the others when Griffin brought you to us?”
Ryan stared at the ground. “Maybe not the others, but I’m Haldon’s widower, and Milo is his pup. Lorcan would have been well within his rights to chase us off his lands.”
“He was never going to do that. He’s not like other alphas. I would have thought you’d understand that by now.”
Ryan swallowed past more pesky tears threatening to leak out. “I do, except I still need to show my appreciation and carry my own weight in the pack.” As he said it, fatigue washed over him and his shoulders slumped.
“Oh, Ryan, I’m worried about you. You’re too quick to put your own interests behind others’. Being a member of this pack doesn’t mean you have to work yourself into ill-health. You think I haven’t noticed how early you get up and never stop working until late at night?”
He had nothing to say to that, wasn’t sure what kind of answer Kyle was looking for. He didn’t know, either, what else he could do. “I don’t know any other way,” he confessed.
“I understand,” came Kyle’s quiet reply. “I lived with Haldon, too, and should have paid more attention to how you were settling in. And now, you have to worry about finding a new mate. Except not right at the moment. Come on.”
Kyle kept walking, and Ryan loped along beside him. They went into the longhouse and directly to the small room within the alpha’s suite that was Ryan’s. He was incredibly lucky to have the space, neatly and prettily decorated with odds and ends others had shared with him. Looking around, he felt both tired and fortunate.
“You’ve got a couple of hours before lunch. It’s not much, but hopefully you’ll feel a bit more refreshed for the rest of the afternoon.”
Ryan gave Kyle a quick smile. “Thanks, I appreciate your help.” He wanted to touch Milo, but held back for fear of waking him. The last thing he wanted was to saddle Kyle with a fussing pup.
“I’m happy to do it. If you’re not going to ask, I’m going to be in your face, offering.” He tempered his words with a reassuring grin, then left.
Alone, in the quiet of his room, the lure of his pallet proved irresistible. Lying down, he closed his eyes. It was hard to fully relax. He wasn’t worried about Milo—his little pup was more than safe with Kyle. It was more that he was so used to being needed and roused at any moment, he was kind of on edge all the time. He hadn’t appreciated that he’d become used to being tense until he’d been given this opportunity to totally let go of his problems and duties.
Once his muscles unwound, and his brain shut down, he started to dream. There was nothing frightening, but it was disturbing. Images of familiar shifters swirled before his eyes, two dominants in particular. Griffin’s handsome face peered down at him with heat in his intense gaze while the less familiar Elijah charmed him with an easy smile. Both held allure, yet only one truly tugged at him. Eventually, visions of Elijah faded away and all that was left was Griffin. Thoughts of him dominated Ryan in his sleep that way they did when he was awake. Except in this case, he could give his desires free rein. Being asleep notwithstanding, his body reacted with restless neediness.
Too soon, Kyle was back, shaking him awake. “Sorry, it’s time for lunch.”
Ryan sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, embarrassed to realize he was hard. He pressed his fists against his crotch to hide his condition while trying to suppress it.
“And not to freak you out, but Elijah asked Lorcan if he could join us at our family table.”
“Oh, um, of course. Whatever the alpha wishes,” he added as he stood. Eating was going to be more of a chore than usual if he had to make polite small-talk. Not that he would dare say so. Besides, the information helped deflate his dick.
“How’s Milo? Where’s Milo?” He revised his question when he realized Kyle was empty-handed.
“Mabel has him and he’s fine, although he needs feeding.”
“Oh, okay.” He could tell by the heaviness in his chest that it was time for Milo to nurse again.
It would have to be done while he ate himself. Maybe that would put off the Green Mountain
alpha. Haldon had always hated seeing his fuck toy using his body for something other than pleasing him. Perhaps it would be a good way to judge Elijah’s true character, not that Ryan had much interest in exploring the man as a mate. He simply couldn’t get his desire for Griffin under control. Plus, he liked living with the Rogues. His family and friends were here. Leaving to live in a strange pack, especially so soon after moving in with this one, didn’t much appeal to him.
Don’t be foolish. You don’t have the luxury of pleasing yourself.
Kyle eyed him as if his feelings showed through but didn’t say anything. They walked to the great room together and over to the family table. Mabel intercepted them to hand him Milo. The pup squealed as she did so, making Ryan’s milk let down. Lifting his shirt, he quickly settled the pup on one nipple as he continued on his way.
Lorcan was already seated, holding a surprisingly placid Hope. Beside him sat Elijah. The two alphas were chatting when Ryan and Kyle arrived. They both stopped and their respective faces lit up.
“My dear, I believe Hope could do with a bit of nursing.” Lorcan handed the pup to his mate as he spoke, then held a chair out for Kyle.
Before Ryan could take the empty spot, Elijah popped up and gave him the same courtesy. Flustered at the gesture, Ryan blushed and stumbled into the chair. The alpha steadied him by clasping him on the shoulder. It was nothing improper, a friendly bit of help in which Elijah quickly removed his hand the moment Ryan was stable.
He smiled in thanks and analyzed his own reaction. The touch hadn’t bothered him, but it hadn’t made him feel the way he did when Griffin had done so. It hadn’t happened often. When it had, the feel of Griffin’s hands had always been shocking. In a good way. Ryan’s skin always tingled and his nerves came alive. Shivers ran down his spine. And most tellingly, his shy wolf would become uncharacteristically frisky. Elijah’s touch didn’t elicit any of those reactions.
Lorcan stood before the visiting alpha sat back down. “I must go get my mate food, if you will excuse me.”
“Of course,” Elijah said. He focused his gaze on Ryan. “May I do the same for you?”
Ryan blinked up at him, caught by surprise, although he shouldn’t have been. He knew that Elijah was courting him. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell the man not to go to the trouble. Something in Kyle’s expression warned him to accept the offer. He knew to do so in any event. It would be churlish to rebuff his efforts.
“Thank you,” he said, unable to look the guy in the eye. “That is very kind.”
“Well, you’ve got your hands full there.” Elijah nodded at where Milo was busy suckling as if he hadn’t eaten all day. The alpha’s gaze didn’t waver at the sight, either. Obviously he wasn’t put off by an omega doing what came naturally. That was a good sign, surely.
The man didn’t appear impatient, either, as if getting Ryan’s full attention wasn’t the most important thing. “What can I get you?”
“Anything will be fine. Truly. Please just get whatever you do for yourself. Only in smaller portions,” he added rather unnecessarily and stupidly. He felt his cheeks burn.
The visiting alpha’s face split in a wide grin. “I don’t know about that. You’re a little bit of a thing, aren’t you? And that pup of yours has a mighty appetite. I’ll see what’s what and anything you can’t eat, I will. It won’t go to waste.”
With that, he left.
Ryan gazed wide-eyed at Kyle. “I don’t know if I can do this. I’m sorry that I’m making a hash out of it. I don’t mean to be impolite or an embarrassment.”
Kyle scoffed. “Please, don’t worry about it. Can’t you see how taken he is with you. As if there’s anything you could say or do that he won’t find utterly charming. Don’t worry about pleasing him. It’s his job to impress you.”
“I guess.” Ryan wasn’t sure he could believe that. Plus, he didn’t care as much as he should. Elijah was an excellent prospect for a mate.
And yet, as he sat there waiting for the man’s return, Ryan’s gaze wandered around the room until it landed on the one he truly wanted.
Griffin.
“What did that poor sandwich ever do to you?” Jagger asked in a low voice.
Griffin frowned before glancing down at his hand. He had indeed crushed his lunch while watching Elijah’s interaction with Ryan. “Well, it’s better than squeezing the life out of a visiting alpha.” Shooting one more look at the omega as he sat quietly nursing his pup, he added, “I’ve got to get out of here. Want to take a run?”
“Always.”
Griffin strode out of the great room, through the kitchen, and onto the back porch. His stomach churning over his impotent jealousy, he was tempted to chuck the sandwich. Food never being something to take for granted, however, he instead stuffed it into his mouth. Then he yanked off his clothing and piled them in a corner. His gamma friend mirrored his actions. They both shifted before leaving the porch. Griffin tossed his muzzle in the air to gobble the rest of his food. It tasted like ash.
He leaped down the stairs in a single bound, Jagger staying abreast. By unspoken agreement, they headed straight for the woods at breakneck speed. They weren’t on patrol, nor part of a pack run, so they could suit themselves. No slower or straggling servients needed to be monitored and herded along. They could give full vent to their natural urge to race through the trees.
Griffin’s muscles burned from the effort, and his lungs labored more than they should, testament to how he wasn’t a hundred percent. He didn’t care. He needed the exercise and the distraction before his emotions got the better of him. As he scampered around the trees, he howled. A playful sound, not an alert. Every dominant was entitled to vent from time-to-time, and none had more reason than a frustrated one.
Jagger stuck by his side, matching his stride even though as a bigger, fitter wolf, he could have pulled ahead. But he was a good friend and despite his teasing, understood Griffin’s frustrations. It was embarrassing in human form. As a wolf, Griffin didn’t feel that way. He only appreciated how dedicated his pack brother was.
The run was lifting his spirits. He gave into the urge to play, cutting off Jagger and nipping at him. The gamma responded in kind, as they had as pups. They wrestled, rolling around the littered floor of the forest before separating and running some more. Griffin eased back to attack again, snapping at Jagger’s flank. He found himself on the bottom of their fur ball this time. Jagger grazed Griffin’s ruff, then immediately rolled away and exposed his own neck. Griffin honored the display of submission by taking the gamma’s throat in his mouth and holding it for a few seconds.
They continued on in this way until they reached the end of the pack lands. A narrow stream gave them a chance to slake their thirst. An old squirrel chose to get too close and became a quick, shared snack. The taste of the fresh blood gave Griffin a renewed sense of energy. Taking another drink from the stream, he took off once more. And again, Jagger stayed with him.
He didn’t realize where he was headed until he reached the remains of their old pack’s compound. The cannibalized pieces of the longhouse and outer buildings were already disintegrating back into the land. The Rogues had taken what parts they could use, but Haldon had never put much money or effort into his pack’s comforts. There wasn’t much there to miss and the sight made Griffin sad.
Standing in the middle of the compound, he shifted back to human. “It didn’t bother me much when we were here helping to strip what was useful. Now, it’s rather heartbreaking.”
Jagger rose up to a stand beside him. “I know what you mean. This was our home since birth. We should feel sad at what has become of it.”
Griffin walked toward the hut that his sire had warranted as one of Haldon’s chief advisors. If he closed his eyes, he could hear his dam’s voice, including the screams she’d made dying while whelping his dead sister. The feel of his sire’s blows when he was displeased were also vivid in his memories. He popped open his eyes and moved away.
; “I don’t know why I came here. My wolf certainly didn’t give it any thought. Maybe I just need the reminder of who and what I am. But for our treasonous retreat from the fight, we would have died with the others.”
Jagger put his hand on Griffin’s shoulder. “You know our actions that night weren’t a betrayal so much as a necessity.”
“Haldon wouldn’t have thought so. If he’d been victorious, we would have been lucky to simply be banished.”
“Except he wasn’t. We could see it was a lost cause, and you were right all along that if things went as badly as we feared, coming back here to protect the servients was the more noble thing to do.”
Griffin shook his head. “It’s amazing to me, even now, that Lorcan didn’t press his advantage and wipe us all out.”
“You’ve come to know him. He’s not that kind of alpha. You did the right thing leading us all to him in the end.”
Griffin closed his eyes again and took an unsteady breath. “It was such a huge risk.” Especially for Ryan and Milo.
He’d been prepared to attack Lorcan if the alpha had decided to kill either of them. It would have been a deadly fight for him, but it might have given Ryan a chance to get away. Jagger and Daxon had already promised to try to help the omega escape. The relief when he realized that Lorcan was welcoming them both into his family, as well as his pack, had been overwhelming. And it had been enough. Being personally allowed to join the pack was more than he’d expected. He couldn’t impinge on the alpha’s largesse or Ryan and Milo’s best future by making a play for Ryan. Elijah was the better choice in mate for the omega.
“I should be happy for him.” When Jagger raised an eyebrow, he explained further. “Being Elijah’s mate will be a good outcome for Ryan. He deserves happiness and a high status.”
Jagger snorted. “Keep telling yourself that.” He shook his head. “No offense, but you’re as dumb as a rock sometimes.”
Omegas Unchained (The Rogue Pack Book 8) Page 6
