by Susan Pease
Karma I think, serves that brat right laughing at me and giving me the pip. Suppose Mum will fuss around him now. Probably give him all the attention he wants, just because he is the precious baby boy.
‘Oh gosh, are you okay Geoff? Hurry up Jo! You’ll be late. Say hello to Melissa,’ shouted her mum as Jo raced towards the street.
I forgot about Melissa, oh no! If I bump into her, I’m totalled. With my luck I imagine she’ll be waiting for me somewhere along the road to school. I really like Melissa but unfortunately she does like to talk and I would probably never get away. How am I going to get rid of her, must hurry to avoid the problem, where did I leave the road? I think maybe it was through that clearing to the right.
Jo realised that timing today was most important. She had been in so much trouble the day before; she couldn’t be late for school.
Everything seems familiar; yes, I’m heading in the right direction. Hang on, I think that’s the log I jumped over yesterday. Yes! I climbed over that large one over there and I can hear the rippling water of Corkuparipple Creek. Gee but the creek looks beautiful; I’d rather stay here all day than go to school. Let’s face it, if I don’t have my sandals Mum will crack it with me big time. I have to keep looking, no time to dilly-dally. They just have to be here somewhere; I can’t be too far off the track. What’s that over there, could it be my lost things? Thank goodness, my sandals and socks just where I left them. Oh! They’re a bit dewy, never mind, I suppose drying them in the sun will solve the problem.
As usual, Jo’s mind was racing at one hundred miles an hour. She decided that maybe she should backtrack towards the school. Her bacon had been saved but she still had to do the detention for Mr Heathmont. This notion only lasted a few minutes because the excitement and anticipation of another adventure prompted her to dance across the watery stepping stones. Jo waited beside the creek, hoping to hear the voices of the strange creatures. Eventually her patience paid off and she heard them!
‘Get the pan and watch me,’ said one voice.
‘You get the pan and watch me!’ exclaimed the other.
‘Why do you have to be so disagreeable?’ answered the dragon-faced Gulp-a-Waters. The feelers on his head were twisting manically in all different directions and he looked extremely fed up.
‘I’m not. You’re just dopey and unprofessional,’ yelled the agitated Slurp-it-Downs.
The banter continued and Jo found it amusing as it reminded her of the comedy routines she often watched on her television.
These guys would be a great hit, she thought.
Jo started to laugh and this caused a panic with the Gulp-a-Waters.
‘Sshhh, did you hear that?’ whispered the Gulp-a-Waters to his friend.
‘What are you imagining now? That’s the trouble with Gulp-a-Waters; they’re stupid!’ said the Slurp-it-Downs.
‘That is a mean thing to say to me. You should never tell people they’re stupid. Not unless they’re stupid Slurp-it-Downs!’ yelled the Gulp-a-Waters.
To Jo’s relief, they forgot about the noise she had made and started punching each other, pulling each other’s hair, noses and ears. It was alarming to watch but it took the heat off Jo and the sight made her laugh even more. Fur, hair, or whatever was flying in all directions. Dust, grass, and rocks were hurled through the air and splashed into the creek.
The next thing she witnessed was the two creatures rolling on the grass laughing their sides out.
‘Got you a beaut didn’t I, you silly Gulp-a-Waters?’ laughed the Slurp-it-Downs.
‘You did, my friend, and it was fantastic. Let’s collect our gear and go home for a rest.’
Now they’re friends again? What crazy little creatures. This is amazing; if I follow them, I’ll probably find lots more. This could be one of the most important discoveries of the century.
CHAPTER TWO
Spying And Discovering
The weather was extremely humid and Jo decided to leave behind her backpack, joggers and socks to follow the creatures. Keeping a reasonable distance from the crazy pair, she slowly crouched down and followed them for what seemed like forever. She travelled over dirt hills, through beautiful green tree ferns, scaling rocks and dipping every now and then into the cool , clear Corkuparipple Creek. Jo had never felt so alive and full of wonder and excitement. This was a real adventure and maybe one day, she would be famous for her trouble.
Unexpectedly the two creatures stopped and clapped each other’s hands together. To Jo’s amazement, a little bush village appeared. There were all sorts of other creatures, including more Gulp-a-Waters and Slurp-it-Downs. They all seemed to be getting along; unlike the pair she had been following. Their homes were beautifully carved tree trunks; they were large, shady and with verandahs. Woven grass had been used to build the overhanging roofs and gumnuts were stuck together into clusters, fashioned into chimneys. The residents of the village seemed to be awfully busy; dashing about concentrating on whatever job they had been given. Looking across the village, Jo noticed that the Gulp-a-Waters had some kind of important role.
The Slurp-it-Downs would pick their noses and snot would come out, stringy and long. After collecting all the snot they could find, the Slurp-it-Downs would fill a large pot and boil it up. The smell was too terrible to describe but it was grotesquely fascinating to witness. Then she noticed the female Gulp-a-Waters and Slurp-it-Downs, who were similar to the males. The female Gulp-a-Waters had light brown kind of hair or fur. Their noses were still very dragon-like and they had long eyelashes. In addition, they all wore gumnut earrings.
The female Slurp-it-Downs were amber in colour, hairy and still on the chubby sort of slim, if there is such a thing. They had small beaks. After further observations it looked like they had beaver-like tails. Jo thought they were definitely the cutest creatures amongst the lot.
Wish I could take them home for a pet, she thought.
‘Take us home for a pet?’ scowled an elderly Slurp-it-Downs.
Jo jumped and fell over with fright.
‘You heard me – but I didn’t say anything!’ she started, staring at the fellow fearfully.
‘Thought you could sneak up on us did you? Never imagined that you would be discovered did you?’
Well, the bottom just fell out of the bag, what was going to happen next? It had been fun to follow and spy on the creatures but now she’d been discovered.
Joanne Elizabeth Parker, what are you going to do now that you’ve been caught spying on these little folk? Oh goodness, they might put me into one of those boiling pots just like witchdoctors do in all the movies.
The Slurp-it-Downs laughed so hard at such an idea and then Jo remembered that the creatures could hear her thoughts.
‘Don’t think you would boil up too well; spoil the glue you would,’ chuckled the old Slurp-it-Downs.
Well, at least I know what they were making in the large metal pots.
‘They’re not just metal! They are gold, gold from the Corkuparipple Creek. We pan for gold and make the pots; it’s all about using things that are natural from the earth.’
The elderly creature was once again cross with Jo and that made her feel uncomfortable.
How was she supposed to curb her thoughts, and how was she going to get out of this mess? It seemed finding herself in trouble was the order of the day.
‘Don’t worry lass, we won’t eat you. In fact, come on and I’ll show you around.’
The change of attitude from the Slurp-it-Downs confused Jo but she was in no mind to turn and run. There was too much to discover and she felt that somebody would save her from impending doom if she got into too much trouble.
The old Slurp-it-Downs guided the trembling girl through the village, causing great disruption. Creatures went running here and there, children screamed and the women all stood with their hands on their hips. An old Gulp-a-Waters woman said, ‘What on earth have you found now you silly old fool?’
Politeness was not a strong point in the
language of the creatures.
‘Shut your food muncher!’ screamed the Slurp-it-Downs in a fierce voice.
‘Bite your bum!’ exclaimed the very aggravated female Gulp-a-Waters.
This was an uncomfortable situation to be in but still, chills of excitement flew through Jo’s veins.
I wonder why they talk to each other in such rude tones. If I talked to people like that, boy, would I be in big trouble, thought Jo.
Big mistake! The creatures heard her last thought and exclaimed, ‘We don’t talk rude at all.’
The day was getting worse. How could she stop thinking? It was just a matter of time before she found herself in hot water.
She decided to communicate with the creatures but how? If she talked politely to them then maybe that was like being rude. So it would be a good idea to talk rudely to them and hopefully, with a bit of luck, she would fit right in. It was all about being accepted by these strange creatures. So she carefully tried not to think too much and said in a calm, controlled way, ‘Get a grip and accept that I’m here.’
All the creatures clapped and smiled with great approval.
Oh gosh, seems I’ll have to learn a new rude way of politeness.
The day became quite incredible as the creatures laughed, insulted and played with Jo. After some time she was conscious that it was time to leave and find her way home. Will she be late for school or in time to meet Melissa on the way? Things were very strange indeed; the thought of meeting and talking to the Gulp-a-Waters and the Slurp-it-Downs gave her a sense of satisfaction. She had made progress; the visit had been worthwhile. Now she needed a hand to get back home and that could be nerve-racking.
JO MEETS MELISSA
Jo needed to explain to somebody that it was time to go home. The thought of her mother panicking and calling the police whirled in her head. What if she was not as lucky as last time and it was the end of the school day? Fortunately the old Slurp-it-Downs could sense that something was wrong and approached Jo.
‘Need to go home do you? I think it’s time to travel you home.’
The creature called seven other Gulp-a-Waters and Slurp-it-Downs into a circle. They sang a strange travelling song and before long, the bewildered girl found herself right next to the school road, minus her joggers, bag and the previous items that she had left to dry.
‘Bum, damn and spit!’ she yelled in a most undignified manner.
Then she realised that this language was not acceptable in her world.
Looks like I’ve become a Gulp-a-Waters or a Slurp-it-Downs and that would never do. I’ll have to watch my language or I’ll get into heaps of trouble.
Melissa was walking towards her with a great big smile on her face, which quickly changed when she saw the mess Jo was in.
‘What on earth happened to you? Your uniform is torn, you’ve got no joggers and where’s your bag?’
Melissa may have to be told of her adventures. She needed somebody to cover for her in case of emergency.
‘Melissa, I have something to tell you and you may think I’m loopy but it’s all quite true.’
Melissa knew about Jo’s remarkable imagination so nothing in the world would stop her from listening to her friend’s story.
‘You know Corkuparipple Creek and how I love to go for nature walks? Well, that’s where I’ve been going every morning – just to clear my head and meditate before school.’ Melissa seemed disappointed, she thought Jo would have a wild story of fairies, dragons and creepy insects to tantalise her. Instead, a rather dull explanation of where she had been. For a quick second Jo nearly told Melissa the whole truth but something made her stop.
‘Look over there!’ yelled Melissa.
When Jo turned around, to her amazement all her gear, bag, sandals and joggers were placed neatly at the edge of the road. Jo thought she heard faint voices drifting through the trees; sounding very much like “damn and blast”. Smiling, she picked up the lost items and started to walk to school. This certainly had been one of the strangest mornings of her life.
The walk to school bored Jo because all she could think about was the neat adventure she had just had. Everything seemed unimportant except for the idea of discovering a unique civilisation. When the teacher asked for all textbooks to be taken out, she panicked, aware that they were filled with doodles of her adventures.
For a moment, she froze with fear when Mr Heathmont walked towards her. It looked like another detention if he saw how she had scribbled in her books. But as he approached, something odd happened. He started to sneeze, his eyes watered, and the cough he suddenly acquired was so bad that he ran from the room in utmost panic. Jo stared in astonishment; he had been all right until he began to draw close to her.
This sort of behaviour happened all day with remarkable recurrence. Every time Jo was about to get into a sticky situation, something would divert the attention away from her. By the end of the school day, she had managed to get through morning class, lunch and afternoon class completely unscathed. To make matters perfect, Mr Heathmont dropped the detention after school and went home to rest. Zoe, the class bully, had tried to tease her but ended up head first in a mud puddle on the oval.
How strange, it’s as if I have somebody looking after me.
The walk home was uneventful and it brought back memories once again. She was now free from Zoe and the detention and was looking forward to getting home. Wondering if her luck would stay with her, she ran home only to remember that there was still her annoying brother Geoffrey to put up with.
Can’t do it, today has been so full on. I need to visit Charity to chill out before I deal with Geoffrey.
She sat dangling her feet over the edge of the boat, dipping her toes into the water.
It’s strange how the water seems to calm the beast in everyone; water and music, raindrops and smelly flowers, thought Jo dreamily.
After Jo returned home, the afternoon cruised peacefully and she managed to do her homework, set the table for dinner and play with Bandaid. Still, in the back of her mind, the thought of the Gulp-a-Waters and Slurp-it-Downs excited her sense of adventure. Jo wished she could just disappear into the world of the nose-picking delights. She craved to hear the fighting and laughter of her newfound friends. Bedtime came quickly; it was a great time to plan when she could sneak back and enjoy the disagreeable antics of the Gulp-a-Waters and the Slurp it-Downs.
SUCH BAD BEHAVIOUR
Unfortunately, the morning brought rain. Thunder shook the house and Bandaid hid under Jo’s bed terrified.
‘There’s nothing to worry about Bandaid! It’s just a rainstorm. Come out, you big coward!’ bellowed Jo.
For a moment, Jo was yelling and being very disagreeable. Poor Bandaid didn’t know what was going on. She had turned into a big, grumpy monster.
‘Bum, damn and blast!’ yelled the girl. Something had gone terribly wrong with her personality.
Things did not get any better. After abusing her mother, she yelled at Geoffrey and tried to kick the cat. Everybody stood in horror watching such bad behaviour.
‘Is everything alright, Joanne?’ exclaimed her worried mother.
Jo was sitting with her head in her hands. She felt a little weird.
‘Don’t know what’s going on Mum; I think it must be end-ofterm nerves.’
The family decided that Joanne needed to have the Friday off from school; it would give her a long weekend to get over whatever was upsetting her. Her mum took Geoffrey to school in their car and Jo was ordered to calm down and rest for the day. Nobody wanted another outburst like the one she had just produced. Staring into space, Jo thought hard about why she had just lost the plot with everybody. Then she remembered the behaviour of the creatures in the bush. Oh no! Had she started to turn into a Gulp-a-Waters or a Slurp-it-Downs? Maybe her overactive imagination was driving her crazy. She needed to go for another walk in the bush, sit by Corkuparipple Creek and meditate. The trickling water with its peace and quiet nature would calm her
down.
So off she went, this time prepared to rest, explore and enjoy the fruits of the Australian bush. It could only be of benefit to a stressed, nearly 10-year-old.
After finding the clearing, she hurried across familiar surroundings. The smells of the bush and the anticipation of an adventure lured her to Corkuparipple Creek. The sun was heating up the bush and she felt the need for a quick dip.
I wish I’d thought to bring my bathers, I’m sure nobody would see me if I went into the water with my underwear on. It’s so hot I would be dry before I needed to go home.
She was just about to strip off when something made her pause.
I’m sure I heard something. Maybe I better keep my clothes on. I don’t want to bump into anybody – that would be so embarrassing.
It wasn’t long before she heard the creatures’ voices again.
‘Throw it in here you silly Gulp-a-Waters,’ said a familiar cranky voice.
‘I’ve told you before not to be so bossy, you ugly furry-looking piece of dirt.’
‘What are you calling an ugly furry-looking piece of dirt? You are a lazy silly-looking blob of nothing,’ replied the other creature.
Well, it was on for all to see as fishing rods bounced and hit the ground. The Gulp-a-Waters and the Slurp-it-Downs started slipping and rolling along the edge of the riverbank. Splash went the two creatures as both fell into the creek. Shaking and quivering in delight, they laughed and patted each other on their backs.
