by Billi Jean
“I tell you I love you and you cry? I thought you’d at least tell me you love me, too.”
“I already did! Then…you died! You…died.”
“I’m not dead now,” he reminded her brushing a kiss to her hair.
“No.” She choked on a tearful laugh. “You smell too bad to be dead.”
A laugh, not his, but Ajax’s she knew, then Stephano joined him. “I’ve been in Hades’ prison. No baths.”
She pulled away enough to stare up at him. He smiled but she saw the pain in his eyes. Carefully she reached up and laid her hand on his jaw. He was warm and solid. His heartbeat eased her panic, that and his arms wrapped around her lower back.
“You’re really here.” She slipped her hands along his chest.
“No one is ever taking me away again. I am done with this damn battle after battle. I want you safe, Mae. Safe and happy.” He smoothed her hair back from her face and pressed a kiss to her lips. She had the odd thought that his hands were trembling. “What do you think? Can we try that? Only the two of us?”
She smiled and framed his handsome face with her hands. “You love me?”
“I love you until I can’t breathe without you,” he assured her.
“You’ll never get killed again?”
He grimaced, and Ajax chuckled from across the room. She tore her eyes away from Stephano to see Ajax leaning against their doorframe.
“He can’t promise that, but he’ll probably take less time to get back. Now, I’ve interrupted I see, but do you two think I can stay the night? I hate that damn Silkies’ palace and the gates back are a pain.”
“He wants you to cook for him,” Stephano grumbled but shocked her by lifting her high to twirl her around. Smiling he set her down and kissed her, passionately enough she forgot all her sorrow and how awful he smelled. His lips were soft, his mouth hot and the taste of him reassured her he was here, in her arms. With a firm hand on her lower back, he pulled his lips away to stare down at her. “You turned the land to a frozen tundra for me? I think that says it all, but…”
“I love you. I love you so much that if you ever die again I will come after you myself and smack you!”
He grinned wider and did another spin with her. “Feisty little angel. I love you.” He kissed her once, but set her down. “He can stay, but he stays outside, not in the nursery.”
“Why outside?” Ajax demanded, half laughing she could tell.
“The nursery is for our child,” she said, touching her still flat stomach.
Both men stilled as if they’d been dipped in stone. Stephano paled to a color she’d never seen on him before. All at once, Ajax let out a whoop of laughter and smacked Stephano repeatedly on the back so hard Stephano bumped into her. Stephano appeared still too stunned. Unblinking, he stared down at her.
“A father. You, a dad. Holy hades, that’s going to be something to see!” Ajax smacked his shoulder again in his enthusiasm.
Stephano hadn’t stopped gaping at her, but at Ajax’s words, he stepped back to stare at her stomach for so long she grew nervous. It was one thing to surprise him, another to have him shocked speechless. She thought he was happy, but perhaps…he wasn’t.
“Stephano, you need to say something,” Ajax muttered.
“What?” Stephano finally blinked, then switched his gaze to Ajax.
Ajax grinned. “The ‘I love you more than breathing’ is probably a good start.”
“Fuck.” Stephano suddenly caught her up and lifted her again, hugging her high and tight, he kissed her stomach. “I love you more than breathing, more than anything in this fucked-up world, angel. A family. You’ll never leave me now.”
“Stephano! Put me down!” She hugged his head, so relieved, she felt dizzy. “I will never leave you ever, with or without our babe.”
Still laughing, he spun around once more, then set her down on her feet. “I’m going to be the best father in the world.”
Breathless she caught his arm to steady herself. “Yes. And I will never, ever let you train our son to fight when he is young. I have rules.” She stood straighter. Both men were gazing at her in a way that made her breath catch. “No weapons in the house. And no training until he is…taller than me.”
“No weapons in the house?” Ajax repeated in an incredulous tone. “Ridiculous.”
“I mean for our son,” she added tartly. “Stephano may have his weapons, but our child will not touch them.”
“Until he’s as tall as you? Well, that’s around ten, not too bad,” Ajax said.
Well, that wasn’t what she meant at all. “Ten? No, no, no.”
Stephano shook his head as if he’d been wet. “A boy needs—”
“He needs love.” She felt as if she had to explain this, now, to them both. “He will be loved. And wanted, as your mother loved and wanted you. Both of you. Whether or not she could keep you, there’s not a chance she didn’t love you. This”—she held Stephano’s hand to her heart—“beats and my child can hear it. His heart is under mine and will always be there. Even when he is old and gray. That kind of love is not something that can be broken, or given away. No matter if life forces me from my child, I will always love him. Or her,” she added with a grin. “Like your mother loved you, Stephano.”
Both men stared at her oddly, as if her words stunned them. She remembered what Stephano had said of his mother and the talks they’d about his training and his age. Ajax would have been the same no doubt.
“Gods, I love you,” Stephano said, sounding oddly choked. “More than anything in this world. Our child will feel our love for as long as we both live. I swear it. But you, you own my heart, angel.” He pressed her hand to his chest, over his steady heartbeat. “I would never have had this”—he gestured to their cottage, then to her stomach and pressed his hand there—“without you.”
“Oh, Stephano. I love you so.” She hugged him hard around his waist, feeling ready to burst with love.
“Hold her close, Stephano,” Ajax murmured. “She’s yours to protect now. I’ll go see if I can’t find us some supper, fish perhaps, and give you two time alone.” Ajax gave her a bow and Stephano a salute.
As soon as the door closed behind Ajax, Stephano surprised her. He didn’t carry her off to bed, as she’d assumed he would, but pulled her down on his lap as he sat at their table. He held her there, stroking her hair.
She smiled so filled with happiness now, not pain, she couldn’t stop. Something occurred to her and she tugged his ear. He grinned. “What was that for?”
“How long have you loved me?”
He grimaced, and instead of answering, he pulled the silver ring from his finger and kissed it, then slipped it on hers. It grew smaller, until it fit perfectly. “I’m not proud of how long it took me to realize what I felt was love, but…” He kissed her knuckles then the ring. “If I think back on my stupidity, I think from the start. Maybe that’s why I knew you were lying.”
She laughed and swatted his chest then admired the ring. “What is this? Why does it fit me?”
“It was made for you. My woman was said to be the only one this ring would fit.”
“What?” She stared at him in surprise. “But…but how long…when did you get this?”
He shifted his legs, making his thighs bunch up under her bottom, reminding her that the bulge under his leathers wasn’t going to wait much longer.
“I got it my first year of real battle. I found it and a note in my chambers. It was…from my mother.”
“Oh, Stephano.” His handsome face blurred as tears washed her eyes. She hugged his neck and pressed kisses to his ear and jaw. “She did love you, didn’t she?”
He didn’t answer but nodded against her.
“And you carried it all this time? Have you tried it on, I mean on anyone?”
He snorted and pulled up. “Fuck, no. You’re the only woman I’ve ever…” He touched his chest briefly, hazel eyes on her face as if he needed to memorize her. “You’re here,
right here, Mae. I’ve never felt before…never felt anything was important. Until you, angel.” His voice had turned husky with emotions that shown in his beautiful eyes. “You’re essential.”
She drew his handsome face to hers and kissed him with all the emotions pounding inside her. The time for words were over. She had her man back. Her Stephano. She rose and straddled him, eyes still filling with tears as the reality of him back in her life registered fully.
“Tell me what you want, angel,” he growled against her throat. His caresses were desperate, his big hands firm as he roamed her body, stirring her to the point of making her moan in pleasure. Her body flooded with moisture, preparing her for her man’s needs. Stephano groaned a hot breath along her throat. “I’ll give you anything.”
She knew immediately what she wanted. “I want this.” She pulled his head up by a grip on his silky hair and kissed the bruise on his forehead. “You. My Stephano. Forever.”
He had already shoved her dress aside and freed himself, but with a heated expression, he caught her hair in his fist and drew her closer. The bulbous head of his warm flesh brushed her entrance. She squirmed, wanting him inside.
Lips a breath apart, he nudged her until his shaft parted her flesh the tiniest bit. Eyes bright with love, he held still, waiting on something.
She cried his name, impatient for him. With a suddenness that surprised her, he captured her mouth and filled her with one powerful thrust of his hips. Mouth on hers, he took her with a need only matched by her own. When they reached their first peak, he shouted her name, repeating it until with a deeply satisfied groan, he fell back in the chair and held her still to his chest. She couldn’t stop her soft sounds of passion as her body continued to cinch on his thick erection. A long, glorious time later, she collapsed against him, unable to do more than try to catch her breath.
Stephano caressed his hands up and down her back, murmuring love words to her as the room began to come back into focus. “Forever, my Siren. Forever,” he vowed against her lips. “I’ll be yours forever.”
“And I’ll be yours, Stephano. Forever,” she whispered with all the love she felt for him. “I think I always loved you, from the first, when you shoved that table aside to reach me.”
A smile tipped his lips and his eyes glowed with humor. “Finally,” he sighed, petting her hair and shaking her with his laugh.
She lifted her eyebrows, too sated—for the moment—to ask.
With a devilish wink, he cupped her closer by her bottom and surged harder inside her. Her toes curled, but she stopped him with a hand on his chest. He was still laughing.
“What is so funny?”
“You.” He tapped her nose making her blink. “You’re finally telling me the truth.”
She laughed and pressed kisses to his rough jaw. “You’re so terrible. I finally tell you how long I’ve loved you and you laugh.”
“I would cry, but that wasn’t so great for me, so—”
She captured his mouth and drove in with her tongue, loving the taste of him as much as she loved everything else about him.
He was breathless and pulsing inside her channel by the time she pulled back. “Make love to me, Stephano. Now. Always, my love.”
“Angel.” His rough tone made her toes curl, but with Stephano, everything made her toes curl. “Sing for me, Siren. Sing for me.”
She did, taking them both to another and another peak. Love, she knew, was there, as was the passion only this man stirred in her. My man. My Stephano. My love.
Also available from Totally Bound Publishing:
Love’s Command: Holding Fast
Billi Jean
Excerpt
Chapter One
Sara stared down at the piece of paper in her hands. The insignificance was astonishing when she considered how hard she’d worked for it. What struck her wasn’t that all her studies were over, or that she could now follow her dream of working with English language learners, it was that the registrar’s certified letter wasn’t even printed on high-quality paper. It was more like a receipt she’d get at some dry cleaners than proof that the last four years of attending classes, finishing assignments, passing exams, while holding two jobs, meant anything.
I’m done. It doesn’t matter what it looks like. I’m a college graduate.
The graduation ceremony would have made more of an impact than the letter she held, but she’d been…unavailable.
Memories of those frightening days tried to swarm her. Sweat dampened her palms, so she straightened her shoulders and smiled at the student behind the registrar’s counter.
Not thinking about that time.
“Thanks, this is great.” She tried for a bright smile, but her lips were so numb she wasn’t sure if she’d pulled it off.
The girl smiled back, though. She probably meant it, too. “It must be amazing to be done.” She leaned on the counter. “I have two more years. It seems like forever.”
“Enjoy it. This place rocks.” A safe place. If I hadn’t left here, I never would have gone to Wyoming, never would have taken a drug that changed everything. “I wish I had two more years,” she added.
“The big bad world, huh? Yeah, I guess going to school isn’t so hard, right?”
Hard doesn’t even begin to describe it. Sara kept her thoughts to herself as she folded the paper carefully and tucked it away in her backpack. “Right. Now to go sell back my books, huh? Got to pay for this thing somehow.” She waved the piece of paper and plastered on a smile again.
Stepping through the double doors and into the sunlight, she tried to slow her pounding pulse rate. The jitters had her in a stranglehold, but she’d been warned it wouldn’t be easy getting back to life after Wyoming. Sara held the breath and counted to seven, then released it slowly counting to three, then repeated it until she could see past the shimmering brightness that often came with the nerves. The freakiest part of her mini-panic attacks was that they could be triggered by anything. It was never the same thing. She’d suddenly feel a sharp jab in her chest followed by the explosion of adrenaline. Her therapist, Cheryl, had taught her the breathing exercise. It seemed to do the trick.
Cheryl suggested stability would slowly put the past behind her. Getting a teaching job would help. When Sara found work and made money, paid for her apartment, and had what she needed, the events in Wyoming would slowly fade.
First, she needed stability, and to achieve that, she had to close the door on a few other things.
A shout in the distance caught her attention. A couple of college girls were taking the old wooden bridge that spanned the falls. They seemed oddly out of place. The campus was quiet, deserted in a way that made the laughing, playfulness of the girls stand out. Maybe everyone was in class, or it was that time of day to study and grab a coffee. Whatever the reason, Sara was thankful. She didn’t want to run into anyone who might’ve kept her there answering too many questions.
When will I stand here again?
Not for a long time. Now, leaving, everything seemed so sharp and clear. The old brownstones were majestic. The enormous trees on either side provided comforting shade on hot summer days. She’d spent endless hours under them, studying for exams or reading. Everything, even the classrooms she’d spent so much time in along her left, held a special, safe spot in her heart. For the past four and a half years, all her focus had been on finishing her degree so she could begin a real life. Now that she held the paper to prove she’d managed it, an unexpected sadness struck her. The choked-up feeling tightened her throat, catching her by surprise as the beautiful scenery of the campus blurred.
“Crazy,” she muttered, brushing tears off her cheeks. I should be happy, not sad.
No more classes, no more tutoring students in English after school and dancing all night, only to repeat the same thing the next day. Her beloved Swiss Army backpack held not only her degree but a brand-new teaching license.
I can start building a normal life. I can have a family. One of
those families I always see through the windows, sitting at their table, eating a meal together.
A husband, children, a dog, maybe a cat, a house with a yard and summer vacations with their kids arguing while she and her husband wondered why they’d ever left the driveway.
Smiling at the silly dream, she tossed her hair out of her eyes and started walking. Before she could get on with her new life, she had to end the old one.
It shouldn’t be too hard. Leaving things behind—or being left behind—was her specialty. She’d once dreamed of being a skater, like her friend, Paris. But that had proved impossible. Her mom had wanted her to have something different—so she’d taken Sara’s skates away and given her ballet slippers instead. But when Sara had hit her teenage years, she’d quit ballet and joined a contemporary dance company. Her mom had been horrified. But what about her hadn’t dismayed her prim and proper mom?
All those miserable memories clouded her thoughts as she walked across campus. She wondered what her mom would think of her now, but not enough to pick up a phone and call home. More likely than not, being a teacher, something so mundane, wouldn’t impress her any more than how much money she’d made dancing.
It didn’t matter. Trying to please her unhappy mother had fallen to the wayside years ago. They didn’t speak, and when they did, it was usually because someone had asked about her and her mom felt guilty not being able to answer even the most basic question.
Thinking about those times brought back memories of pain when she knew she should be focusing on the future. When she did that, and worked at her dreams, anything was possible. At least she hoped it was.
Now a job as a teacher was her goal, and dance would fade away like skating had. The ice still called like an ache in her chest, until it grew impossible to ignore. Then she would lace up and spin in the frigid air until she couldn’t breathe, but her heart felt right again each time. Now she had something else that did that—working with kids who didn’t speak English.
But skating had turned her from a shy, insecure child to a person with confidence. Dance had taught her what a woman could do with her body. Both had given her the strength to understand that nothing she did would ever change her mother’s misery, nor live up to some standard set by her.
