by Amiee Louise
He takes a long sip of his wine.
“Do you want something stronger than wine, babe? I know I do. I think I have some vodka, tequila or whiskey? I have a limited selection; I haven’t stocked up in a while.”
I shake my head; my stomach is starting to feel fuzzy and warm. The wine is quickly having an effect on me, and I’m not normally such a lightweight.
“Fucking hell. I’m sorry, I think I’ve got a touch of the verbals tonight, babe. You’ve hardly said a word.”
“I like listening to you talk, your voice does something to me, and I could listen to you all day.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Are you drunk, baby?”
I laugh. “Maybe a little tipsy, it’s just something that Ruby said when I first told her about tattooing you guys, she said you could make women orgasm with just your voice.”
He raises his eyebrows and laughs hysterically. “OK, wow, that’s … really flattering, but deep down, I’m an ordinary guy who just got lucky.”
I look at him as if to say ‘are-you-shitting-me?’
“You’re Sam Newbolt, you’re in one of the world’s biggest rock bands, you’ve sold millions of albums and played all over the world. You’re so far from ordinary, babe.”
It’s times like these when we’re alone that he shows me his vulnerable side. He wanders back into the kitchen, and while he is gone, I take advantage of his absence and walk around his impressive apartment. I take in the minimal decor, the black, white and chrome sleek look of the accessories. I sense that Sam didn’t decorate this place himself, as all the rooms are similar in décor—clean and stark. He comes back with two bottles in his hands.
“You like the apartment then, babe?”
I smile and spin around to face him. “Yeah, I love it. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be nosy.”
“You’re far from nosy, babe. I’m sorry, I should have given you the grand tour, I’m a rubbish host, give me a sec.”
He sprints over to the table and puts the bottles down. He is back at my side in seconds.
“Where do you want the tour to start?” he asks seductively, and I know he is hinting at round two in the bedroom.
“How about your studio, if you have one?”
He raises his eyebrow.
“Of course I have one, I’m Sam fucking Newbolt!” he says cockily, but I know he is teasing by the cheeky grin on his face bringing out his cute dimples. He leads me down a corridor with framed album covers hanging on the walls. He grabs my hand and unlocks a door at the end of the corridor. It’s impressive; it has a full-size drum kit, two electric guitars, and a microphone stand behind a wall of glass. There is a full mixing desk with two iMac computers on the table. I look around, awe-struck by my surroundings. On the walls are gold and platinum discs in frames and I am again reminded of the contrast in our lifestyles.
“You like?”
I nod and look at him.
“Everything about this place amazes me, Sam.”
He smiles and sits down on the leather chair that is at the desk.
“It’s also soundproof.” He winks cheekily, and I chuckle softly. He spins around to face me and pulls me down on his lap. “It doesn’t have to, baby, I’d be happy to live in a cardboard box as long as I’m with you.”
He kisses me deeply on the lips.
“Peyton, you’re everything. You’re beautiful, funny, and you make me feel alive. I’ve never felt like this about anyone in my life before, it’s kind of scaring the shit out of me, but it feels good.”
He smiles, and the depth of feeling for this man overwhelms me. Even though our lives are poles apart and I have so many insecurities, I still want our relationship to stand the test of time. He runs his hand up my spine.
“What are you thinking about, baby? You’re sweet when you get that look on your face.”
“Thanks. Just thinking about us. About how different our lives are, you with your entourage around you it’s kind of intimidating at times, if I’m honest.”
He folds his muscled arms and crosses his legs at the ankle.
“Intimidating? And I have an entourage?” He raises his eyebrows and laughs. “I’ll sack them all if that’s what you want, baby. Just say the word.”
My eyes widen, and I shake my head. “No! I didn’t say that”
He shrugs, stands up, and leads me out of the studio. He locks the door behind him, abruptly ending our conversation. We walk back down the small corridor where he opens another door.
“After you.”
He gestures for me to step into his bedroom, and I am stunned into silence. A king-size four-poster bed with black and silver gothic drapes around it centres the room. Black silk sheets adorn the bed, and I see what he meant when he said I deserved silk sheets. There are two, gothic, black-embossed bedside tables with mirrored tops sit on either side of the bed. Throughout Sam’s apartment, I notice a running theme of stark, black and white with matching accessories.
“Welcome to my boudoir!”
He laughs and bows dramatically as I take in the surroundings. I laugh at his humour.
“I don’t bring women back here, you’re highly honoured!”
I smile at being the only woman he has brought back here to his sanctuary.
“This is the en-suite bathroom.”
He opens the door, and I walk in. The bathroom has black and white mosaic tiles on the walls, and the large bath takes up the entire back wall. Suddenly, I hear a phone ringing, and Sam rolls his eyes.
“No rest for the wicked, babe.”
We leave the bathroom and go back out into the living area. Sam picks up his mobile.
“Hello, oh hey, yeah.”
He holds up his finger indicating that he will be just a minute, and I resume my position on the sofa. He wanders off around the apartment talking on his phone, so I finish my wine and check my phone. I have a voicemail—I swipe my finger across the screen and listen.
“Peyton, it’s Cal, I wasn’t sure if you’d still have the same mobile number, so I’m not one hundred percent certain that you’re going to get this. But I really wanted to apologise for the way I behaved today, it was bang out of order. I’m so sorry for everything that happened between us. I really want us to meet up and talk properly, not just argue like a pair of kids in the street. Look, I know you’re with Sam and I’m with Sav, but we need closure on the whole you and me thing. Please call me back, baby cakes.”
I sit open-mouthed at listening to Callum’s message, and I feel the colour drain from my face. I can’t believe that he has the nerve to call me after everything that has happened between us. Even though I’m not with him anymore, he still manages to fuck with my head. Sam comes back into the living room; he crouches down in front of me and cups my cheek in his hand.
“What’s wrong, baby, are you OK?”
I hang up the phone and put it down on the table.
“Everything’s fine, babe. Honestly.”
I put on my best fake smile, and he narrows his eyes at me.
“Don’t lie to me baby, we agreed no more secrets. Plus, the fact that you look like you’ve seen a ghost kind of gives you away.”
“Nothing gets past you, does it, Sam?”
“Nope! Just call me Sherlock Holmes! Tell me what’s wrong, babe, you looked like you had seen a ghost when you hung up the phone.”
I clear my throat before saying, “Cal left a message on my voicemail.”
Sam’s demeanour becomes angry. I see his body visibly tense as he sits down next to me.
“What did that fucker say?” he asks through gritted teeth. I hand him my phone, and he listens to Callum’s message. As soon as it finishes, he hands the phone back to me.
“Are you going to meet him?”
I shake my head. “No. God, I don’t know, he fucks with my head every time, Sam. We said all we needed to earlier I have nothing more to say to him.”
He puts his arm around me and squeezes me reassuringly.
“What w
as your relationship like with him?”
I look up at him, and a pained look crosses my face. It hurts to remember what it was like with Callum to begin with. He was so sweet, he was good-looking in a boy-next-door kind of way, and he treated me like a princess—we were so in love.
14
Peyton - Three years ago
It was a Friday night. Ruby and I were at a club in Camden called Fifty-Five. We needed to let our hair down after a long week at work. My dark hair tumbled in loose waves down my shoulders. I was wearing a short, leather, panelled skirt, fishnet tights, heels, and a black, halter-neck top with diamante skulls all over it. My best pulling outfit. We were both single and more than a little tipsy. Ruby was pole dancing in the club, and there was a group of men gathered around watching her open-mouthed. I was confident and bubbly, but I wished I were more like her as far as men were concerned. I was a little shy around men; I had been single for so long I had forgotten what it was like to date and be in a relationship. That was when I saw him: a tall, toned, and tanned blonde man staring in my direction. He was with a group of his friends, and one of them was whispering to him. He didn’t take his eyes off me. I turned my head, thinking he must have been looking at someone else, and then I looked back at him. He smiled and lowered his eyes. I smiled back, and he cocked his head to the side. I took a sip of my drink for some Dutch courage and slowly walked over to him.
“Hey,” I said over the pumping music.
“Hey yourself.”
His friend nudged him, winked, and left us to it.
“I saw you watching me from over there.”
He leaned his head down, and I could smell his sweet Davidoff Cool Water aftershave.
“I’m Callum, but you can call me Cal.”
He offered his hand, and I took it. He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the back gently, causing me to smile at the sweet gesture.
“I’m Peyton.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Peyton. So, what brings a beautiful girl like you to a place like this on a Friday night? I haven’t seen you here before.”
I took another sip of my drink, enjoying the attention Callum was showing me.
“No, me and my friend just decided we needed to let our hair down, we’ve both had kind of a mad week at work!”
He nodded. “You look stunning, by the way,” he shouted over the music as his eyes travelled down my body.
“Thanks.”
“Can I get you a drink?”
I nod. “Yeah, please, that would be lovely.”
He gestured to the barman.
“Same again for the lady. Cheers, mate.”
He got me a large Absolut vodka and cranberry, my drink of choice. He pushed it towards me and smiled.
“Here you go, love.”
I smiled warmly, and he clinked my glass. “Thank you, Callum.”
He smiled back, and I was disarmed by his wide, boyish smile.
“My pleasure, Peyton.”
After an hour or so chatting to Callum, I felt like I had known him forever, we had so many things in common, and for the first time in a long time, I was comfortable being around him. He was charming, good-looking, and he made me laugh. I looked around the club, and Ruby was nowhere to be seen—she had more than likely copped off and gone back to some guy’s house, without any regard for my safety. Great, cheers, Rubes. Callum looked at his watch.
“I should go home. I need to be up early for work in the morning. Look, I’d really like to take you out, Peyton. I like you a lot, and I don’t usually click with women like I have with you, I feel like I’ve known you all my life.”
I smiled, flattered at his kind words. I suddenly felt drunk and bold. I leaned in to kiss him gently on the lips. His lips were so soft, and I thought maybe I was drunker than I realised. I pulled away and giggled childishly.
“I don’t want to take advantage of you, Peyton; I want to treat you like a princess, I want to wine and dine you. A woman as beautiful as you deserves to be treated with respect.”
And that line was what hooked me on Callum Kennedy.
15
Peyton
I am suddenly back in the room with Sam, and he strokes my hand.
“Babe, whoa! I lost you back then. Where were you?”
I look at him confused and shake myself back to the present.
“I was remembering what it was like when I first met Callum. We met in a club. He was so sweet and caring back then; he had the kindest eyes and a smile that would light up a room. He was so charming and such a gentleman. After a few dates, we slept together, and kind of got into a routine of me staying at his or him staying at ours. Callum was safe, he was … everything to me.”
Sam sits on the sofa listening attentively to me retell my story, and he pours us both large vodkas.
“After two years or so of being together, I got pregnant. We were so happy, or so I thought. But by the time I found out, I was already three months gone. I went for our first scan with Ruby, and when I told Callum, he was so distant. I thought he might feel something when I showed him the scan picture of our baby growing inside me. He asked me if I wanted to get rid of it because he wasn’t ready to be a dad, and it wasn’t the right time. We argued that night; he trashed the flat, stormed out, and left me in his flat on my own. I was all set to go ahead and be a single mum then I doubled over with crippling stomach pains, and I was bleeding heavily. I knew straight away that I was losing my baby and I was in his flat on my own. I didn’t know what else to do; I managed to make it to a phone, called Ruby, and called an ambulance. I was hysterical and in total agony by the time they got there. Ruby was my rock that night. I don’t know what I would have done without her. She was there for me when it should have been Callum.” My voice cracks and a tear rolls down my cheek. Sam wipes it away with his thumb and strokes my face. “I fucking promised myself I wouldn’t ever cry over him again and he has done it twice in one day.”
I laugh bitterly and down the vodka, relishing the burn as it slides down my throat.
“He showed up at the hospital the next day, no emotion, he just said how sorry he was, but his eyes told me a totally different story. I knew something was off with him, it was as if he wasn’t even affected that our baby had just died.”
Sam’s eyes darken, and he downs his vodka. He pours us both two more.
“What an absolute fucking prick. I’d never have left you, Peyton; I’d have been there for you every single step of the way.”
I sniff and smile at his kind words. He takes my hand reassuringly in his.
“I’m damaged, Sam, he damaged something inside me. I’d have done anything for him. I was so in love with him, I forgave him for so many things, but walking in on him fucking another woman was the final straw. He broke my fucking heart.”
We both lean back on the sofa, and I snuggle into the crook of Sam’s neck as I sob softly. At that moment, I have never felt more vulnerable, and I hope deep down that Sam doesn’t hurt me the way Callum did.
“Hey, shhh, he is not worth your tears, angel. As long as we’re together, I don’t ever want to cause you tears and pain. I want to see you smile every single day. I want to wake up next to you and feel your presence in my heart. I can already see myself settling down with you, growing old with you.”
He smiles and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. I am comforted by his words and the more time I spend with him, the more I can see us having a future together. He makes me feel alive, like I could take on the world by just looking into his eyes. I get lost in his touch and feel the warmth of his body. Sam makes me feel safe, and nothing can hurt me while he is around. It is a welcome feeling, but every time I think that we could have a future together, something comes along that jeopardises it.
At that moment, I promise myself that I am going to relax around him and just go with the flow. With that thought, he gets up and drags me up with him.
“Come with me, I’ve got a surprise for you. I want to show you
something that I think will make you feel better.”
We both run through his apartment like a pair of teenagers in love. I am giddy with excitement as he takes me to the foyer and drags me into the lift. He pushes the button labelled ‘R’, which I assume is for the roof.
“Where are you taking me?”
