“Unfortunately, we are in a bit of a hurry”, Daddy was saying. “We are very pleased to meet you.”
He was trying to get rid of her.
The woman’s words were not a surprise for me. “I’m looking for my son, have you casually seen him? I can’t find him anywhere.”
I must say that my parents behaved perfectly. Their smile did not change at all. Dad, however, took half a step back, certainly in the direction he left the shotgun.
They denied knowing anything and immediately asked worrying questions.
There was sadness in that woman’s face, that made her look even more beautiful. “Could I talk to your daughter? Maybe she knows something. They’ve become close friends lately.”
My mother’s mask collapsed, but fortunately the woman was not looking at her.
There were no excuses left. Dad, while leaving the room, had left the door wide open, and that woman had seen us.
“Of course, come”, my mother said, taking her to the living room by one arm. Dad stayed behind, and I realized that it was a trick to allow him to pick up the shotgun. They both knew that if Terry had spoken, there would be no way out for any of us.
Mom introduced us. The woman shook my hand and smiled at me. I remained uncertain for a moment, then shook it back. From a closer look, she was even more beautiful.
Terry, for some strange reason, did not even look at her. She sat on the carpet, head down.
“He told me so much about her that I seem to know her”, said the woman, referring to Terry. “She reminded him his sister so much, and I must say that she resembles her.”
I froze, because that woman had spoken to her son using the past, but Mom didn’t realize it, confused by those strange words. “Do you have a daughter, too?”
The answer was even more absurd. “No, no females.”
Now we were all a little on the edge. Dad had disappeared and we knew what he was doing. Terry was there, but that woman had not asked her a single question yet.
Suddenly Terry pointed a finger at the woman and accused her. “You did hurt him. He told me.”
The woman was grieved by these words. “He’s my baby, I’ve always loved him.”
“But still you did hurt him!”
“Perhaps”, whispered the woman bending her head.
Terry seemed tired, so tired. The mournful look we and Mummy were doing disgusted her.
“It was them”, she said. “They killed him. Now you must kill them! Kill them all!”
Time froze, as in movies. The woman was motionless, had no reaction, despite having learned of her son’s death.
Then my father cried out: “Do not make any sudden moves! Get away! Get away from the kids!”
He was by the door and held the shotgun.
Terry stood up and shouted at the woman, “What are you waiting for? Kill them! Kill them all!”
“Move away!” my father shouted. “Far from the kids!”
Mom was desperate, she seemed she might cry. “We didn’t want to do it. It was an accident! We are sorry!”
Dad nearly roared. “You stay away! Get away from her!” Then his voice trembled. “It’s as my wife says: We didn’t want to do it, it was an accident. We don’t want any trouble, we don’t care what you are, just go away.” Then his voice hardened again. “How many are you? There are more like you? Is there your husband too?”
Terry replied: “No, it’s only her.”
The woman had not yet moved, she seemed petrified. But I could see her it in her face, and there was no trace of fear. Dad came into the room, always holding the shotgun, and came to stand in front of us. “What are you? For God’s sake, what are you?”
Now he could also see her calm face.
“Call the police, dear! Call the police!”, Mom repeated.
It was such an absurd request that Dad did not even listen to her. “We just want you to leave, nothing else! All you have to do is go!”
That was also an absurd request. He lied perhaps even to himself. She couldn’t leave now, because she knew.
“Where is my son?” asked the woman.
“He’s dead, sorry”, Mom repeated.
“I buried him in that bundle of trees down there”, replied Daddy. “You can go and resume him if…”
The woman shook her head.
“Don’t do it! Don’t do it!” Mom cried.
But we all knew she would do it, it was inevitable.
“Don’t try to transform yourself! I swear that I shoot! I will really shoot!”
A smile appeared on the woman’s face, a sad smile.
Then she moved.
We weren’t prepared at what was coming, at her speed. Nor to her strength. Nor to the fact that she did not need to be transformed to be like so.
She was by father before he could shoot, and grabbed the shotgun in her hand, deviating the trajectory. And as he shot the ceiling, she pushed him back with incredible power. My father flew and crashed against the wall. She didn’t even waste any time to disarm him, jumped on my mom and gave her a paw. Mom screamed as the claw tore her arm.
That woman was transforming under our eyes, but she was so fast we almost did not realize it. Her dress fell to shreds. She wasn’t Foulwolfe, she wasn’t small at all.
Another paw hit mom in her chest, tearing her clothes, and I saw the blood spray around. Mom screamed louder.
Terry was obscene, standing in the middle of the room screaming. “Yes, yes, kill them all!”
Dad was messed up, maybe he had a broken arm, but he tried to embrace the shotgun again. “Run away!” he yelled at me. “Take your sister! Go away!”
I was surprised that he had thought of Terry. She seemed to me an infernal fury. However, I obeyed him, I grabbed Terry from her waist, lifting her even though she was heavy, and I ran to the door.
She struggled. “Kill them!” she shouted.
The woman, who was no longer a woman, tossed a last paw to my mother, tearing her belly out. I froze by the door, in front of that scene. Then she was behind her and sank her maw in my mother’s neck. I saw her clearly, for a moment, and it was the most monstrous creature of the universe, much worse than Foulwolfe.
Then Dad fired, but she was already gone. The bullet hit my mother in her chest, making her fly backwards, but she was probably already dead. She had already crossed the room and was leaping to my dad. He still tried to shoot, without succeeding. She bit his shoulder making him scream and tore it to shreds.
I did not see anything else, because I knew there was little time left, very little. As I pulled Terry up the stairs I still heard dad screaming, and then those noises, those horrendous noises. I was sure she was eating him.
I tried escaping into my room, even though it was absurd. But at that time, it was not easy to think clearly. I locked the door, then tried to board it up, but I was too weak to move the bigger furniture.
Terry was laughing at my efforts, but she was also crying. After all, she was a little girl and she did not even know what she really wanted.
I hid under the bed, like an idiot, dragging Terry and struggling to keep her from escaping.
It was the last chance to do it, but I did not. Yet I should have, it was important, it was the most important thing. I did not apologize for it, I did not ask her to forgive me. I only held her tight, trembling.
It was a horrible ending, the one ahead of me, and I could not think of anything else.
The woman waited long before she came to us. She certainly had a big meal. But when she arrived, she was still hungry.
I trembled so much that I almost did not hear her smashing the door. It took her only a second. I saw her legs getting closer and then I screamed. She grabbed the bed and lifted it, throwing it against the opposite wall.
I saw her in front of me, she overwhelmed me.
I screamed, and I screamed, and I screamed like crazy. It was a beast, a scary monster. She leaned over me.
Her face breathed in my face, her mouth was
wide open and with dripping blood. Those yellow eyes stared at me. I lost all my strength, and lost grip to Terry while she slipped away. With a leap, she moved to the side, leaving me completely at the mercy of the monster.
Terry was crying, unable to stop. “It was him, it’s all his fault, if Foulwolfe died!”
I managed to pull my eyes off the monster and point them to my sister. I begged her.
Did she hate me? To what extent did she hate me? Would she ever forgive me? She was suffering, even when she accused me, because she cared about me. “It was him, it was him!”
The creature in front of me opened her mouth. It widened beyond imagination, revealing the red vortex that was his palate. Blade-like teeth sparked. As my heart stopped, I saw her snapping.
She stretched her head and bit Terry’s neck. A neck so fragile, tight between those monstrous jaws. I saw the teeth sink and the blood sprinkled. I saw Terry’s eyes wide open. Then the monster shook her head and Terry’s head broke off. I saw it rolling on the floor.
The monster continued biting, tearing pieces of meat and eating them. I could not take my eyes off, I could not.
And when she finished, she turned to me.
Was I ready? I was resigned? Can you resign to such a thing? No. I screamed, screamed, and I screamed again.
When she opened her jaws, I closed my eyes and everything became black.
On the train, as we walked away, she instructed me how my life would be from that moment on.
Many things had changed since the transformation. My mind was more alert, it was easier to think. And then the colors were different, I could sense smells in all their intensity.
She told me the rules I should have followed, what we needed to do.
We were alone in the compartment, facing each other. She always caressed a cheek, or adjust my hair. If we were wolves she would lick me, I was sure. I was her little one.
But her gaze was always sad, though I was there. Did she think about Foulwolfe? Was it for him?
I thought I understood, but I was wrong. “Is this why you did not kill me? Because I had to take his place? That’s why you killed them all except me, because they owed you a son?”
She was just smiling and caressing me. She didn’t like to talk, but I would only understand it later.
But there was something strange, something that I didn’t get. “It’s impossible. Foulwolfe couldn’t be your son, he had a sister.”
“You are all my children.”
“Have there been others before us?”
“You are my baby.”
“How many? From how long does it go on? Did you really have a son? Is he dead? That’s why you take us?”
No, he was not dead, she never let him die. His son was always with her, for eternity.
“Even with Foulwolfe you massacred his family? That’s how you got him?”
She shook her head, smiling, but it was not an answer. She just wanted me to stop talking. She was so beautiful, so sweet.
I started to understand. “He killed himself, it wasn’t dad to kill him. He could have killed us all, or escape, but he did not. He remained there to be killed. Why?”
He spoke with Terry, but she didn’t understand.
“Did he hate you? He didn’t want to live with you.”
There was something else, something that I didn’t get, that I was not even able to understand. Not yet, at least.
Terry said he was not a child, what did she mean?
“I’ll hate you, do you know that? I’ll hate you forever. For what you did to my parents. For Terry. I’m not your son. You can force me to stay with you, but I will never be your son!”
Those words seemed to amuse her. Once again, she stroked my hair. “You are my baby.”
I stood up. “I hate you, do you understand! I hate you!”
The little girl made her way through the bush and found me. I saw her radiant smile.
“Wolfie!”, she called me. “You’re a wolfie!”
I was not a wolfie, I was a monster, but she didn’t want to see that. It was days that I was spying on her, and if she found me, it was only my choice.
She resembled Terry very much, and I missed her a lot. Even her family resembled ours, and her brother was the same as I was, thirty years earlier.
She stroked my fur, and it was the first time someone did. Apart from the woman, of course.
“Are you lost, Wolfie? Do you live here in the woods?”
I lived right next to her, in the nearest house, but she had never seen me. She couldn’t understand.
He knelt beside me and kept stroking my fur.
“Do you want to be my friend?”
I didn’t want anything else but I was not sure she would be able to accept me. Terry had done it.
I let my body change, returning to what I once was.
She opened her mouth in amazement, but never screamed. She retracted her hand, however, as I wrinkled back and regained human form.
“You are a child, too!” she exclaimed.
“No, I’m not”, I said, with a voice I almost forgot to have.
I could no longer consider myself a child, even though my body was not aged one day. Moreover, the mutation had killed every trace of humanity in me, I could no longer grow, as Foulwolfe failed many years before me.
He wasn’t a child, he had not been so for long before.
The little girl blushed slightly. “You’re naked!”
I could not resist and I caressed her cheek. She chuckled, but did not retreat.
“Forgive me, Terry”, I said. “Forgive me for all the evil I have done to you.”
“I’m not Terry!” she complained. “My name is Rita.”
The name wasn’t important, I had been waiting so many years for that moment. The chance to apologize. I still had her blood on my hands.
“Do you want to play with me?” she asked.
Live all that horror again? Bring destruction to that family as Foulwolfe had brought it into ours? I could not, despite the pain that devoured me, I could not. So, I shook my head. “Not now.”
“You have to show me how you can do it; how do you do that thing!”
She was so innocent and so naive. “Another time I will. I promise.”
“Now I must go”, the disappointed little girl said. “Mom doesn’t want me to come here. But I’ll be back, I promise you, Wolfie!”
It was just like Terry. How would Terry be if she had not gone through all that horror, if only she had a different brother. One who cared about her.
I saw her run away, but I had no tears anymore.
The woman appeared to my side and stroked my head. She was naked. She had also run free in the woods, in her real form.
I looked at her desperately. “I love you.”
She smiled and patted me again. She never spoke.
She did not understand or pretended she didn’t understand. She did not realize what curse she spelled on us. We were her children, her children, she only had tenderness for us.
She could not understand that we were no longer the same, that time had passed and although our body was unchanged, we had grown anyway.
I loved her, how could I not love her? She was the most beautiful creature in the world. I loved her as much as Foulwolfe loved her and God knows how many others before him. The woman was our joy and our damnation.
Yes, I was wrong, at first I didn’t understand anything. It is not the hate that kills, but the love. An impossible, unmatched love.
Stuck forever in the role of children when we only wanted to be her partner. Be able to join, to copulate as we should do naturally. She pretended not to perceive this desire. She had done it with Foulwolfe and she was still doing it with me. It was not a partner she wanted, but only a child to look after. A son who would never die, someone she would never let go.
What about her real son, the first one? How long had he lasted? How was his life when he realized that he could never grow older? How long had he re
sisted before he killed himself?
Foulwolfe lasted fifty years before meeting Terry. I should have hated him because his suicide had condemned me, but I could not.
I would not have done it, not yet. I would not have destroyed that family just to find peace, I would not condemn another child to that curse.
“I love you”, I told her again with tears in my eyes, but she didn’t understand. She stroked my hair and kissed me in the forehead.
Having her naked body next to me, so beautiful, was the greatest torture. Her smell stunned me.
“Let’s go, leave them alone”, I murmured. “Let’s get out of here. Let’s see another place.”
She grabbed my hand and helped me to get up. Then we ran in the forest, regaining our real form, and I tried to channel my suffering in that wild ride.
Farewell Terry, forgive me if you can.
October 2010
FROG
Translation by Manuel
It is almost a ritual: in the evening, after dinner, when Mario and the boys are downstairs watching the soccer game, I retire to my room. I don’t like much about the sport and I have always something to do anyway. Tonight, for example, there are still some issues to be corrected.
Facing me at the window watching the old oak. She grew up to the point that it would stretch out a hand to touch the branches. It’s beautiful, but soon his yellow leaves will fill again the lawn and I’ll have to argue with Mario, as every year, because he wants to cut it away.
There are left not many issues to fix, in the afternoon I worked a lot. I sit at my desk and start, with my bicolor pencil.
The essay I have assigned might seem trivial: My Family. Yet it is an essential resource to learn more about my students, and I usually bring it up every year.
I love kids, I love the work I have chosen: teacher. It’s pleasant entering in such young minds, discover their dreams, their desires.
The words are flowing before my eyes and I smile often of their ingenuity.
Then came the last essay, little more than a façade. Alice Ferri, V-A. Recently in my class, they moved, I don’t know her quite yet. Alice seemed to me a tiny little girl, of those without friends, who spoke very little and that isolated herself in the last bank. She always went home alone, no one came to pick her up. I hope to understand a bit more about her, knowing her family.
The Prison Page 18
