by Jill Shalvis
She and Blake had been kept together as they’d gone into the child care protective services, where they’d landed in a total of three foster homes, each as kind and as warm as they could possibly be, and for that she was more than grateful, she was also lucky—but she’d never really settled into any of them. She didn’t tend to settle, didn’t tend to get comfortable; it was what had made her so certain Aidan was the one.
Look how that had blown up in her face.
When she’d gone off to Los Angeles and begun acting, she’d found heaven. Pretending to live someone else’s life, already all scripted out? Perfect. She’d loved it. Still loved it.
But a small part of her knew that she couldn’t always rely on a script. That at some point she would have to wing it. She’d eventually need a life, a real one, and she’d always figured that life would somehow be entwined with her brother’s, maybe even right here in Santa Rey….
But now there was nothing for her here, nothing except proving Blake’s innocence.
Aidan caught her arm as she stepped outside. She yanked free and he put up his hands, letting her step away from him as they walked outside. He leaned a hip against a tree, looking big and tall and attitude-ridden as he eyed her like she was a lit fuse.
His hair had been finger-combed at best. She could smell soap and man, and the potent mix of testosterone and pheromones boggled her mind. If she lived to be two hundred years old, she’d never understand her attraction to him. Back in her L.A. world, she had access to dozens of gorgeous men. Hundreds.
But while some had been nice dalliances, none of them had ever really gotten anywhere. Probably because a good number of the men she met were like her.
Pretend.
Not Aidan. He lived life with his eyes wide open, no script needed. His job demanded a lot of him, and he was tough because of it, but he hadn’t ever shied away from something just because it was hard. Except for her.
“Thanks for bailing me out,” she conceded.
“Need a ride to your car? Or are you going to manage that on your own, too?”
The sun was warm and bright, and she stood still in it for a moment, tilting her head up to it, inhaling deeply. Then she turned to the man who had once been her everything. Whether she liked it or not—and for the record, she didn’t—he could still stop her heart, make her pulse race, and worst of all, make her hormones stand up and shimmy. “Yeah. A ride would be great, if you don’t mind.”
He let out a sound that told her what he thought of that, and took her to his truck.
“About that ride…” She slowed, dragging her feet. “Everything’s still booked. Maybe there’s something—”
“You know where there’s something.” He turned on the engine and pulled out of the lot. “At my place.”
“Yeah.” She shook her head. “No.”
“Yeah no?”
She sighed. “It’s just that staying with you seems like a whole lot of trouble I don’t want to face.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to lead you on.”
“I thought you enjoyed exacting your revenge on my body.”
With more than a slight twinge of regret and, dammit, guilt, she avoided his gaze.
“Come on, Kenz, be honest. You’re not afraid of hurting me. You’re afraid you’ll get hurt.”
Wasn’t that the plain ugly truth.
“You made sure I understood that you’d changed,” he said softly, looking over at her for a beat before returning his attention to the road. “Now you have to understand something. I’ve changed as well.”
Yes. Yes, he had.
“Look, you wanted to know what happened all those years ago?” he asked. “I got scared, that’s what the hell happened. I’d always lived my life without letting people inside my heart, where they could hurt me. But you got in, and, yeah, that terrified me. You’re doing it again, by the way, getting in, and I’m not any more thrilled about it now than I was then.”
Something warm slid through her at his words, and the low, rough tone in which they were spoken. Warm, and dangerously seductive.
He pulled into his driveway and shut off the engine, turning in his seat to face her. “You’ll have to make do without the five-star rating.” He paused a beat. “Although there are certain five-star services I do offer.”
When she met his gaze she saw the sparkle of pure wicked trouble in his eyes. Oh, boy. “Aidan—”
“I’m talking about my breakfasts, which you happened to miss out on. And then there’s my massage specialty.” He didn’t add any obvious eyebrow waggle or other suggestive gesture, but his eyes crinkled and she knew he was thinking suggestively.
Yup. Dangerously seductive. She already knew how erotic his touch could be, just how earthy, how naughty, and she wasn’t ready to go back there. Not if she intended to be the one to walk away this time.
And there would be walking away when this was over…
Even while she was thinking it, he took her hand and led her to his door. Her instinct was to make a smartass comment to piss him off, chase him away, and yet she didn’t do anything but allow him to open the door for her. Once she started to step inside, he stopped her. When she met his gaze, he asked, “You planning anything else I should know about?”
“Like?”
“Shit. Anything. It could be anything.”
The sun was bright. The surf behind them loud and choppy. She loved the scent of the ocean. She’d missed that, working long, long days on set in the middle of Los Angeles. Now that she’d been cancelled, she could see taking a laptop out on the beach and just writing to her heart’s content if she wanted. “My immediate plans involve a shower.”
“That’s all?” he asked so warily that she smiled.
“Yeah. That’s all.”
He touched the corner of her smiling mouth. “That’s a good look for you.”
“What are you talking about, I smile all the time.”
“On TV, maybe. But I haven’t seen much of it here.”
“Well, maybe that’s because I was in a fire, then facing the fact that my brother’s dead, and then…” And then she’d been in his bed, naked, panting, sobbing his name, holding onto his head as his mouth and then his body had taken her to heaven—
“That look,” he said, pointing at her. “I want to know what you were thinking just then to put that look on your face.”
She crossed her arms over her suddenly aching breasts. “Nothing.”
“You are such a liar,” he chided softly.
He gestured her inside his place, and she took a better look around than she had when she’d been fresh out of the hospital, and then fresh out of his bed. She saw the pretty windows, the wood floors he’d done himself, and felt another ache, this one in her chest.
She knew that growing up, Aidan hadn’t had much of a stable home life, either. He’d been shuffled around as much as she had. Going into the fire academy had changed his life, given him a team, but more than that, his first real friendships. The kind of friendships that would last, the kind of friend that had his back no matter what. He still hadn’t had any real understanding of what that meant when she’d gone off to Los Angeles, but she could tell it had come to him in the years since. There was an easy confidence about him, an air that said he’d been well liked, well taken care of…
Well loved.
Her heart did a little flop at that because she hadn’t given herself the same. Oh, sure, she was liked. She’d been taken care of. But loved by someone other than Blake?
No.
And if she took away the fame, leaving just small-town girl Kenzie Stafford, what would actually be left?
The answer was as unsettling as the thought, especially given that now she really was without that fancy job. “Aidan?”
He’d headed for the kitchen, but stopped and turned to her. “Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
“For?”
“For bailing me out. For waiting to make sure
I was okay.”
He leaned back against the wall and studied her. “So why did you do it, Kenz? Why did you go back after I’d warned you not to—” He broke off and shook his head. “Never mind. I just heard my own words and realized exactly why you did it. Because I warned you not to.”
“Am I that stubborn?”
“Hell, yeah, you’re that stubborn.”
She rolled her eyes, then caught the flash of humor in his. He was laughing at her, and not with her, which should have made her defensive and possibly bitchy, but in spite of herself, she let out a laugh, too. “Okay, so it wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve done. But it was the right thing.”
“How about stealing my file, was that the right thing, too?”
She let out a low breath. “I was wondering when we were going to get to that.”
He just looked at her, big and bad and…patient. So damn patient. She pulled the file from her bag and handed it over. “Thanks.”
“I’d say you’re welcome, if I’d given it to you.”
“You’d have done the same thing in my position.”
“You think so?”
She looked into his compelling eyes and felt her breath catch. “Okay, no. You would have asked. But maybe you’re a better person than I am.”
His eyes expressed his surprise at that statement. They both knew she hadn’t always considered him such a great guy. “People change,” she whispered, mirroring his words back to her. “Right?”
“That’s right.” The smile hit his eyes before his lips slowly curved, and there was an answering quiver that began in her belly. Oh, boy. Not good. He was standing too close, and not being annoying or antagonistic, and suddenly it all seemed too intimate.
She started to turn away but that was cowardice, and if she was going to learn anything while being back here in Santa Rey, it was not going to be that, so she faced him again. “I really am sorry for dragging you into this. For getting arrested and you having to bail me out. For driving you crazy. Pick any of the above.”
“You didn’t drag me into anything.”
“Maybe not, but I’m about to.” She let out a breath. “I need to tell you something.”
“Okay.” When she didn’t go on, he raised an eyebrow. “Is it something that’s going to get you arrested again?”
“No. I’m kind of hoping to avoid repeating that experience.”
“Good.”
“But there are things you should know. Things you’re not going to like.”
“Try me.”
“Okay. I’ve been getting calls from someone I think is trying to help me.”
He stared at her. “Your local cell caller?”
“Yes. He told me the key, whatever that means, is in Blake’s computer files.”
“He?”
“I think so. But I can’t place the voice, he’s disguised it.”
“How the hell does he know the key’s in Blake’s computer files?” Aidan asked her.
“I don’t know.”
“Blake’s laptop was never found. I’m betting it went up in Blake’s Girl.”
“As did mine. But with a computer, I could access my backup files, which would include Blake’s backup files.”
“I have a computer.” He was close enough that she could see the green swirling in his light brown eyes. The scar bisecting his left eyebrow, the lines on his face, only added character, and a sexiness she couldn’t have explained to save her life.
His mouth was slightly curved and she knew if she leaned in and touched hers to it, his lips would be warm and skilled, and most of all, giving.
“I didn’t think I’d be happy to see you,” she murmured, stepping closer. “But I’ve been proven wrong on two accounts now. When you saved me from the fire, and when I came out of jail and saw you standing there.”
“Just the two?”
“Well, maybe one other time…”
Leaning close, he let his mouth brush her ear. “Try a couple.”
At the reminder of how he’d made her come several times, easily she might add, as if he knew her body better than she did, a little shiver of awareness went down her spine, chased by another one, this one pure anticipation.
He could do it again. He could take her there again, to heaven, to oblivion…Only this time it wouldn’t be adrenaline. This time she’d go in with her eyes wide open. His needed to be as well.
“I was worried about you,” he murmured. “You’ve got to stay out of this one, Kenzie. Stay out of Tommy’s way.”
Somehow her face was nuzzling his throat, and she was trying to breathe him in. “I’m going to prove Blake’s innocence in all this,” she told him, liking the feel of her lips against his skin. “No matter the cost.”
“Even if the price is my friendship?”
Her throat actually tightened at the thought and she pulled back to look into his eyes. “Is it going to cost me that?”
“Depends.” He took her hand, put it on his chest and offered her a smile. “You still intending on stomping all over my tender heart?”
At that, and the crinkles at the corners of his eyes, the ones telling her he was teasing her, she out and out laughed, feeling much of tension drain away. “Yes.”
His hands went to her hips, pulling her closer, and she stared into his face, feeling so at home in his house that she found herself hesitating, not for the first time that day, and wishing she had a script for what came next.
“You’re thinking again,” he murmured.
“Yeah.”
He leaned back against the front door, unexpectedly giving her space. Space she thought she’d wanted, but found she didn’t want at all. “I really did intend to stomp all over your heart, you know. When I first saw you again, I wanted to hurt you the way you’d hurt me. But then we kissed.”
“We did a lot more than kiss.”
She flashed back to that night, when she’d climbed into bed with him, pressing her icy feet to his, then her body. She remembered realizing he was naked and warm and strong and hard…God. He’d been so utterly irresistible, she’d lost her head. And, yeah, they’d done a lot more than kiss. “Fine. We kissed, and then I decided I should sleep with you and then walk away. Perfect, neat revenge.”
“Neat, maybe. But not perfect.” His eyes were glittering with knowledge, hard won. “Because it wasn’t as easy as you thought, was it?”
No, it hadn’t been. Because it’d been amazing between them. So damned amazing. “Maybe I’ve been looking at this wrong.”
He didn’t move from the door, just kept looking at her, his eyes warm, his mouth curved, his body big and bad and so gorgeous she could hardly stand it.
She wanted him.
Again.
Still.
“Maybe it’s not about sleeping with you once and walking away,” she heard herself say. “Maybe it’s about letting this thing take its own lead for as long as I’m here.”
“‘This thing’? You mean the way we apparently can’t stay out of each other’s pants?”
At the huskiness in his voice, her nipples hardened. “Yes.”
12
AIDAN PUSHED AWAY from the door and came toward Kenzie, all easy, loose-limbed confidence, yet radiating an intensity that made her breath catch. He didn’t stop until they were toe-to-toe, and she slowly tipped up her head to look into his inscrutable eyes.
“You want to have sex,” he said silkily. “Here. Tonight. Now.”
Her breath caught at his bluntness. “And then maybe again later.”
“Later,” he repeated, as if trying to process this.
“Maybe even until I leave Santa Rey. At which time we both walk away, eyes wide open.”
He just stared at her for the longest moment. “What happened to trouncing on my heart?”
“It seems you were right. I don’t really want to hurt you.”
When he shot her a not-buying-it look, she caved. “Okay, so I want to hurt you less than I want to sleep with you again.”
“You know, you’d think I’d be tough enough to walk away from such an overwhelmingly romantic offer,” he said drily, sounding both intrigued and baffled. “But apparently…” He put his hands on her hips. “I’m not.”
She offered a smile that was sheer nerve. “So…yes?”
His eyes never wavered, holding hers, leveling her as he pulled her in. “I don’t know, Kenzie. I’m a little afraid…”
“Be serious.”
His smile was crooked and impossibly endearing. “I am. This time you could really do it, whether you’re trying to or not. This time, you just might take out my heart.”
“Come on,” she quipped, even as a part of her was afraid he was right, for both of them. “If we’re just having a physical relationship and nothing else, how can we get hurt?”
With a soft laugh, he slid his hands up her spine, and then back again, low enough now to cup her butt and squeeze.
He was hard.
Bending his head, he put his mouth to her ear and let out a breath that made her shiver in longing. “Just a physical relationship, Kenzie? Is that all this is? Really?” He sank his teeth into her lobe and she shivered again.
“It—it’s all it should be,” she managed.
Another soft, deprecating laugh rumbled through his chest, this one aimed at the both of them. “Okay, well as long as we’re being honest, you should know…” His hands glided up her spine again, this time beneath her shirt to touch bare skin. “Even though you are going to hurt me, it’s not enough to make me say no. Truth is, nothing could…”
She opened her mouth to say something, but then he kissed the spot he’d just nipped at, soothing the ache as his fingers stroked over her skin. Her eyes drifted shut, and she slid her arms around his neck, pressing close. “No pain, no gain,” she whispered, and he let out another low laugh as he lifted her up and carried her to his bedroom.
To his bed.
He settled over her, looking down into her face for a beat before lowering his head and taking her mouth with his demanding one.
If simply walking into his house had felt like a homecoming, then this, here, now, felt even more so. He felt like home, he smelled like home, and he tasted even better; she hesitated, thinking, uh-oh.
