"No, it's fine. I've had a lot of time to think and to accept things. You told me that you killed my father. I only recently realized that you didn't tell me why. Now I know."
"It's true. He then tried to kill me." Zeriel set the teacup down on the side table and pushed his spiked black hair back to reveal the deep scar. "See this? You can touch it. That's from your father's sword."
"I believe you."
"Why?" Zeriel asked.
"You know why. I'm glad you killed him."
"Don't say that. That's so callous."
"But I mean it. I can't keep suppressing my memories about my childhood. All I can do is hope that they make me stronger somehow. I had no idea that my father was abusing you as well. Every time my jaw aches, I think back to that day I stood up to him. Every time I bathe or undress, I feel ashamed because I remember my father's hands. How do I get over that? How can I move on? What about you? We've both been similarly hurt by him. How do you go on living? I don't know if I want to anymore."
"Jaylen, are you . . ."
Jaylen pushed up his sleeves as best as he could with his bandaged hands to reveal more bandages. "Only when it's really bad."
"What are those bandages for?"
"Oviel caught me with a knife one night. He took it away and tended to the cuts. Then I tried some of his potions and pain medicines. He caught me again."
Zeriel became immediately concerned. "You're suicidal?"
Jaylen went to the ball of mage-glow and stared into the pale blue light, the same color as his eyes, as it swirled above his head. "There's a darkness growing inside of me. I've been trying to fight it off, to chase it and make it leave me alone, but it won't let me go. I was weak. I thought that if I nearly killed myself, then that darkness would leave as well."
"That's never the answer."
"I know that." He shrugged. "I knew that the entire time, but I was hopeless. I guess in some ways, I'm still hopeless."
Zeriel stepped up behind his paladin and wrapped his arms around his chest. He put his nose against the back of Jaylen's head and breathed in his sweet musky scent. It had been far too long since they had been close like that. Their bond had been deteriorating, but now that he had the boy in his arms, everything began to meld back together. "Then we'll be hopeless together."
Chapter 3
Jaylen followed Zeriel into Oviel's room where all kinds of potions and pouches of colorful herbs were laid out on the tables. Glass beakers bubbled above the tiny flames, filling the corners of the room with small puffs of white smoke. Jaylen never liked it in here. All the strange smells and mystical ingredients made him very uncomfortable. It reminded him of the soul awakening operation Oviel performed on him to open up the deepest recesses of his mind. It was also the operation that allowed Jaylen to use his spirit sight. When he wanted to, he could switch from his normal sight and see the light or shadow auras of beings around him. He would never forget those eight-inch long needles that were used to inject the concoctions into his heart.
Oviel pulled up a chair for each of them in the back corner of the room where the purple mage-glow was the brightest. "I received a letter from Axaniel."
"Axa?" Zeriel asked. "But he died. Carvael killed him in The Veil when he tried to defend us."
"That's what they say, but this is definitely his handwriting. I would know it anywhere. I was also able to compare it to some . . . personal letters he wrote me months ago."
What did he mean by that? "Personal letters?"
"We um-"
Zeriel interrupted him. "Oviel and Axaniel were romantically involved. I found out when I was taken before the Angelic Court. It's not a secret anymore, Oviel."
"We weren't intimate or anything. Everyone makes it into something much more scandalous than it was." Oviel blushed as he held up the folded paper. "Enough talking about this. We have more important things to discuss. Anyway, back to the letter itself. Axaniel, or an Axaniel impersonator, wrote about needing a covert duo to go into Wolfekin and meet with Queen Sela."
"The werewolf mage?" Zeriel asked.
"The same."
Jaylen shook his head confusedly. "Women can't be mages. The only mages are paladins and only males can be paladins."
"It's a long story."
"We have time."
Oviel leaned back against the wall and absentmindedly stroked his turquoise feathers as he spoke. "About five years ago, there was a paladin named Aiden who was out hunting in the woods around the southern cities in Vilyron, right on the border with Wolefkin. A pack of rabid werewolves attacked him and stole his prey away from him. He chased after the werewolves, but he was ambushed by them and suffered a grievous wound. Some Wolfekin soldiers just so happened to be passing through the area and heard the howling, so they tracked down Aiden by the trail of blood he left behind. They took him to the queen's castle and were planning to interrogate him then drain his magic from him to enchant items."
"They can do that?" Jaylen asked, his trepidation rising to new levels. "Drain a paladin's magic to use on things?"
"Yes. That's how enchantments are done. Vilyron and Wolefkin have a long history of being enemies. Vilyron's paladins hunt Wolefkin's werewolves and Wolefkin's soldiers torture and slaughter Vilyron's paladins. It has led to countless conflicts over the centuries."
Zeriel massaged Jaylen's shoulders. "Get on with the story."
"Oh, yes. So Aiden was going to be tortured and drained of his magic, but Queen Sela found him in the dungeon and offered to make a deal with him. If he would sleep with her and let her drain his magic herself with the help of a demon, she would spare his life. He immediately agreed, of course. Once the magic was transferred, they realized that they had fallen in love with each other. They got married later that year. According to the clergy and our dear King Talyn, Queen Sela had forced Aiden to side with Wolfekin. Aiden was deemed a traitor. The result of the continued pressure was the start of the Eight-Night War where hundreds of Vilyron's paladins were killed and a rift was opened by Sela to add demons to her werewolf forces."
"That's why the Holy Order was so willing to accept Jaylen as a paladin even though he was so young." Zeriel said.
"Exactly. They were desperate to get their numbers back up. Now there aren't any more paladins."
Jaylen was getting confused. "Me."
"You're Tainted." Oviel said. "You don't count."
"But I still have my light magic."
"And it's slowly killing you. If you use it, you will more than likely die a very painful death. It was all I could do to heal you enough from when you had those magical wings. Thank Sola those are gone. You have to be extremely careful now, Jaylen. We've been talking about how you feel the darkness rising up in your soul, right?"
"Yes."
Oviel took some herbs out of a pouch and mulled them in the bottom of a wooden cup. "That's not a good sign. Your bond with Zeriel is very important now, more so than it has been. How is your sigil? Any more changes?"
Jaylen unlaced the top of his dark blue tunic and pulled it open to reveal the sun sigil on his smooth chest that had changed to a deep purple instead of the vibrant white it had been. "It's dark now."
Zeriel rolled his sleeve up to reveal his smaller sun sigil on his wrist that was purple as well. "Mine too. It's because I'm Fallen. There have been other changes besides my sigil and my wings. I'm mortal now. While Holy Angels can die if they are injured and their bodies suffer too much trauma at once, they will not die of old age unless they choose to do so. I can die of old age and the same amount of injury or sickness that a human would die from. That's why I have to eat and sleep now."
"And what does that mean for me?" Jaylen asked, growing more and more concerned.
"If I die, you die. If you die, I die. We are bound with unbreakable chains."
Oviel raised an eyebrow as he poured the contents of a vial into a small cup. "Which makes it even more crucial that you stop trying to kill yourself, Jaylen."
"I know. Y
ou constantly reminding me isn't helping. If I could simply change it, I would. I don't choose to be like this."
"Shh." Zeriel tousled Jaylen's messy hair. "It's okay. We'll work through it together."
Oviel poured more liquid into the wooden cup and stirred it. He handed it out to Jaylen. "Drink this."
"I don't want any more of your nasty potions."
"You won't get better unless you drink them. You're down to having to drink it once a day now. That's good."
"No!"
"Don't yell at me like that." Oviel slammed the cup down on the table. He pointed his bony finger at Jaylen. "I've about had enough of your attitude. I am your elder, so you need to show me some respect. You're at that complicated age where you want to fight. I'm not going to fight, but I'll be sure to smack you hard enough if you try anything. I know your jaw still isn't healed and I'll shatter those bones quicker than you can blink those pretty blue eyes of yours. I'll hit you harder than your father ever did. What's wrong, boy? You scared to fight an angel?"
Jaylen's anger flashed in his eyes as he held up his bandaged fists. "I could take you."
"Nope." Zeriel pulled his paladin away from the other angel. "You're not going to fight. No one is going to hurt anyone else. There's been enough pain already. Jaylen, I am very disappointed in your behavior. Go to your room."
"What? No. You can't tell me what to do." Jaylen's courage quickly vanished as he slinked back away from Zeriel's stern warning glare. He put his head down. "I'll go to my room."
"That's right you will."
Jaylen stood and smoothed his tunic. "For the record, I'm going to my room because I want to, not because you told me to."
"Sure, Jaylen. Sure."
* * *
"What was that about?"
Jaylen rolled his eyes as Zeriel came into the room. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Zeriel joined him on the bed and sighed. "You know, you remind me of myself at your age. I thought I could do or say whatever I wanted to. But you know what? I was a stupid kid. I learned real fast that I couldn't keep that up. Oviel is only trying to help you. You owe him for saving your life. If it wasn't for him and his healing, you would be dead right now."
"Good."
"Don't say that again. You don't mean it." He took Jaylen's hand gently. "Look at me. You can't let this anger control you. You're scaring me. What has happened to you in the past three months? Whatever it was, this isn't you."
Jaylen threw his arms around his angel and buried his face in the soft ebony wings. "I don't know. I'm really confused. I don't know who I am anymore."
"Ah. I get it. I understand. I really do. I'll tell you who are you, Jaylen Corrifus. You are a brilliant, handsome, and honorable young man who isn't afraid to hold onto his purity and adhere to the vows he made. I have so much respect for you. You are by far the strongest man I know. I'll tell you one more thing."
"What's that?" Jaylen asked.
"I love you more than anyone else, human or angel."
"You love me, Zeriel?"
Zeriel smiled warmly and tapped Jaylen on the tip of his nose. "I do. I am your angel, and I will be right here until the day we die."
"I love you too. I'm sorry for being so mean."
"You're forgiven. Now, we need to discuss our next mission. Have you been to Wolfekin before?"
"Never. What about you?" Jaylen asked.
"Unfortunately, about thirty years ago. First things first. You are going to absolutely fall in love with the place."
"Really?"
"Yes. It is a wonderful country filled with ravenous werewolves, the severed heads of paladins on pikes all around the castle, and starving children in the disease-ridden streets."
He grimaced. "That . . . that doesn't sound good at all. Why would I like the place?"
"You haven't quite grasped the nuances of sarcasm, have you?"
Jaylen laughed softly as he played with the ends of Zeriel's feathers. "Oh. Oh, I get it now. So Wolfekin is that bad?"
"Worse. I had to go there one time so I could help Tarael save some paladins, but things took a turn for the worst. We barely made it out of there alive. That was before the sun disappeared again. We made the mistake of going during a full moon. Every person on the streets changed into wolves that wanted nothing more than to tear us limb from limb."
"But now there is no moon because the sun is gone. So it shouldn't be an issue."
"That is the exact opposite of the truth." Zeriel said. "They don't know when to transform or not. Their bodies and the forces that control their transformation from human to wolf and back again are messed up. Some of them haven't been human since the last full moon before the sun left. Others change spontaneously. It's a nightmare."
"Then why does Axaniel want us to go there?"
"After you left, I discussed it more with Oviel. Apparently you opened another rift to the otherworld that has been causing issues with the one that they keep open to commune with demons."
"Why?" Jaylen asked.
"Queen Sola makes deals with the demons for various things from extra troops for raiding the less developed countries on the other side of the Onyx Sea to protection over crops from the snow."
"Demons don't work for free. What does she give them in return?"
"Children."
He gasped. "Sola help me. She gives them children?"
"Not werewolf children, either. They take children from the surrounding villages, all the way up to age twenty. Needless to say, you are not to leave my side while we are there. We can't risk you being sold to a demon."
"More than I already am?" Jaylen asked. "I still have Gavin the incubus's mark on my back underneath the burn where the clergy tried to brand over it. It's still there. I keep having nightmares and hearing his voice in my mind. He still has some of my soul segments. I asked him."
"That is true. Where are Gavin and Liaxa?"
"They said they had to go back to The Veil for important demon activities. I didn't ask for specifics. I say we let father and daughter demons do what demons do. They creep me out anyway."
Zeriel grinned mischievously like he knew something. "Oh, don't play innocent now, Jaylen. I've seen the way you've been eyeing Liaxa from across the cavern all the time. Yes, I've been watching you."
"That's . . . no. I'm a virgin. I haven't done anything."
"I know, but you can't deny that you are attracted to her. She's only three years older than you."
No way. "She's a succubus!"
"A cute succubus that you would be all over if you hadn't taken vows of chastity."
"You don't know anything."
Zeriel stood up and stretched his wings out. "Well, either way, you need to pack. We leave for Wolfekin in the morning."
Chapter 4
Wolfekin's capital city, Fayng, was nothing but a mass of twisting, turning alleys and starving orphans. As Jaylen's lace-topped boots clicked on the grey cobblestones, he tried his best to ignore the emaciated children who held out their trembling hands and begged him for coins. His own pockets were filled with gold coins from his inheritance, the weight making him nervous. He wasn't nervous about being robbed. He was nervous about the suffering children noticing how rich he was compared to them.
Zeriel seemed to take notice. "You can give them something if you wish. Your gold coins will be accepted anywhere."
"I don't know if I should."
"Why not?"
Jaylen stepped over a puddle of slimy water. "It won't actually help them. Sure, they'll have a full stomach tonight, but what about next week when the money runs out? They will only be hurting more."
"That makes no sense. If you don't give them anything, they will probably be dead next week. Look at them."
"I am looking at them. Someone should slit their throats."
Zeriel stopped to look at his Master. "Jaylen . . . why would say that? How heartless are you?"
"Heartless? No, I'm not heartless. If they're dead, they won't be
hurting anymore. Orphans are the worst people on the planet."
"Master, you are an orphan."
Jaylen crossed his arms. "Exactly."
"How can you have no sympathy for them?"
"How can you? You're Fallen."
"Did you wonder why they're not afraid of me?" Zeriel asked. "Most children would start crying if they saw a fallen angel."
"I couldn't care less."
"Because even fallen angels have pockets."
"Do what you want."
Zeriel knelt down in front of a young mud-covered girl in a tattered yellow dress. He retrieved a gold coin from his pocket and handed it to her. "Here. You look hungry."
She whimpered and scooted away from him, pointing at his wings. "Demon."
"Seems she's scared of you. You were wrong, Zeriel. Everyone hates fallen angels." Jaylen mocked him. "We don't have time for you to give money to all the orphans in Wolfekin. Let the other demons have them."
"Shut up, Jaylen." Zeriel smiled and touched the girl's matted red hair. "Don't worry. Yes, I'm Fallen, but I won't hurt you. Do you know who my father is?"
She shook her head.
"I am the son of Archangel Carvael, protector of children. I have never harmed a child and I never will. I just wanted to help you. Do you have any siblings?"
"Sammy."
"Who is Sammy?" Zeriel asked.
She pointed across the alley to a splintered wooden crate. "Baby."
"Baby?" Jaylen went over to the crate and peered inside. A very tiny baby was bundled tightly in a threadbare towel. "Zeriel, there's an infant in here."
Zeriel looked inside then picked up the silent baby in his arms. "He's so little."
"Leave it here. We can't take it with us."
He unwrapped the towel. "Him."
"What?"
"It's a boy. Don't call children it."
"Fine. What are we going to do with him?" Jaylen asked.
"He's coming with me."
"You can't save all the orphans, Zeriel."
"You need a way back into Ilyan and Ilyan needs more paladins."
Angel of Darkness Books 1-5 Page 15
