He took her clammy hand and held on tightly as he watched the tears slide down her pink cheeks. "Mommy . . ."
"Shh, baby. It's all right. Is it snowing?"
"Yes. A lot."
"Can you be a big boy and go get the healer?" Corina asked. "Do you know where he lives?"
"No. I'll go look. I'll be back."
His mother breathed hard as she screamed then weakly collapsed on the bed. She glanced over to the window. "No, Jaybird. It's a blizzard. You can't go. I'll wait for your father."
Jaylen jumped with fear as the front door opened and the all too familiar sound of his father's boots stomped inside the house. He would usually go hide and remain silent whenever Doran came home. It was never a good idea to speak to him after he had been drinking.
"That's your father. Go get him. Bring him in here. Hurry!"
Jaylen ran out of the bedroom then up to his father who reeked of whiskey. "Daddy! Mommy is hurting. Help her."
Doran scoffed then went into the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of wine. "I don't have time for that worthless wench."
"But the baby is coming. You have to help her."
He pushed his son away roughly. "Go play with your toys. Leave your mother alone."
"No!" Jaylen grabbed his father's coattails in his hands and yanked on them. "Daddy, please. She's hurting. She needs you."
Doran smashed the bottle against the wall then pointed the jagged shard at Jaylen. "Are you telling me what to do? Do you think you can give me orders, boy?"
Jaylen nervously backed away from him until Doran grabbed his neck in his large calloused hand. "Daddy, please. I'm sorry!"
"No, you will be sorry." He picked Jaylen up and threw him over his shoulder. "We're having a nice blizzard tonight. Maybe you need some time to cool off."
Jaylen squirmed under his father's grasp, but he was no match for the man's muscular arms. "Where are you taking me?"
Doran took him outside into the blowing snow and to the decrepit wooden shack in the backyard. He kicked open the door then threw Jaylen inside. He closed the door and locked it, leaving his son stranded inside with nothing. "You will stay in here until I decide that you can come out. If you cry, I will leave you in here until you die."
But Jaylen did cry. As he listened to his father's heavy footsteps in the snow, leaving him locked in the freezing shed, he slid down in the corner and held his knees to his chest. He listened to the crying of a baby and his parents yelling at each other until something crashed inside the house and the crying abruptly stopped. His mother's weeping replaced the sudden silence. Jaylen closed his eyes and tried to block everything out. The bitter cold penetrated his thin cotton pants and tattered coat. His father wouldn't let him wear his nice clothes around the house and refused to buy him new ones.
The minutes dragged by slowly until someone knocked on the side of the shed. "Jaybird?"
Only his mother called him that, but the male voice was definitely not his mother. "Who's there?"
"I am. I'm outside."
"Can you get me out of here?" Jaylen asked hopefully.
"I wish I could, but it's locked tight. I can talk to you and keep you company, though. Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you. I work with your father."
"Oh. Don't tell him you heard me crying. He said he'll leave me in here to die."
"I won't tell him."
Jaylen had to know something. "How is the baby?"
The mysterious man sighed. "Oh, Jay . . . the baby didn't make it."
"Oh, no. Is this my fault? I wasn't good enough. I didn't know what to do. I tried to help."
"I know. You were a big boy and you were very brave. You did all you could. This is your father's fault."
"I hate him." His tiny hands balled up into fists. "I hate my father."
"I know. Don't worry. I won't let him hurt you."
"Who are you?" Jaylen asked, wiping the tears from his eyes.
"Call me your guardian angel."
"Like in the stories?"
"Yeah. Like the stories."
Jaylen shakily stood up then walked around the shed that was lit by a ball of mage-glow on a candlestick. He looked over the stacks of papers, black wool coats hanging on the walls, and a pile of rubies in a golden dish on a desk. "Do you live in here?"
"I sure do."
Jaylen looked around, thinking about how odd it would be to live in a barren place like this. "There's no bed."
"I don't sleep."
The mysterious stranger didn't sleep? "No food, either."
"I don't eat."
"Must be nice. I wish I didn't get hungry."
The man chuckled. "Actually, there are some sweets in the chest on top of the far stack of boxes. They are the fluffy white ones in the pink parchment paper."
Jaylen found the wooden box and slowly opened it. When he unwrapped the pink parchment paper, he picked up one of the soft puffy white balls. "What are these?"
"It's mana. It tastes good. You'll like it. Try one."
"Mana?"
"It's something angels eat in Heaven. Think of mana like really tasty candy that makes you happy."
"I want to be happy."
"Then eat the mana." The man said. "It's okay. It won't hurt you. You can have all you want."
"Gee, thanks! This is really good." Jaylen shoved another puff of mana into his mouth and smiled as the delicate sweetness dissolved on his tongue. He took the entire package then sat back down on the floor by the door.
"Feeling any better?" The man asked.
"Yeah. Mmm. Tasty."
"Eat up. It's good for you, especially since you have the potential for magic in your blood."
"Magic . . . like my daddy?" He asked.
"Yes, like your daddy."
"You're an actual angel, aren't you?" Jaylen asked between bites of mana. "You're my father's angel."
"That's right. I protect him in battle."
"Why do you care about me so much?"
"Because I care about every child. And you are my favorite."
"Really?" Jaylen asked with a tiny smile on his lips.
"Yep. You're my favorite out of all the children in the world. You're special, Jaylen. Never forget that. No matter what you have to go through, no matter how many hungry nights you have, know that Sola loves you. All you have to do is pray and Sola will hear you."
Jaylen pressed his face against the wall and placed his hands on the cold wooden boards, trying to feel the angel on the other side. "I do pray. I pray every night before bed like my mommy tells me to."
"That's wonderful. You will be a great priest some day."
"No. Not a priest. I want to be a paladin like my daddy. I want to have my own angel and kill werewolves."
The angel whispered through the cracks in the wall. "You can do whatever you want. I'm sure you will be a great paladin."
"You think so?"
"I know so. Hey, see my wool coats up there hanging from the ceiling? Take one and bundle up in it, okay? Try to curl up and get some sleep. I will do what I can to get the key and let you out of here once things calm down inside the house. If you need me, just knock on the wall and I will answer. I'm not going anywhere, all right?"
Jaylen pulled down one of the angel's coats and hid underneath the soft wool. "Okay. Thank you."
"No problem, Jaylen. I actually have one more question for you. If you don't know the answer, then you don't have to say anything. I found a leather dog collar with your name on the tag. Why? Do you know what that could possibly be for?"
He rubbed his neck absentmindedly as he thought about it. "Daddy makes me wear it when I'm bad sometimes. He calls me a dog and tells me to bark like one. It makes me feel better when he pets me and gives me treats after I'm punished. I like pretending to be a puppy. I love puppies."
The angel didn't sound happy anymore. "I see. Well, you get some sleep, okay?"
"Okay, angel." Just as he started to drift to sleep, breathing in the angel's sweet calming scen
t on the wool coat, there were footsteps outside the shed and Doran's angry yelling.
"Did I give you permission to be out here? What are you doing?"
The angel sounded scared. "Master, forgive me. I was only-"
"I know what you were doing. You leave my son alone. Do you hear me? Now you get to stand there and listen as I teach an insolent boy a lesson in submission. It will do you well to learn as well, angel." Doran unlocked the door to the shed and stepped inside. He removed his belt then tore the coat away from Jaylen. "Stand up, Jaylen. Clothes off. Put your hands on the wall."
Terrified and fully aware of what was coming, Jaylen stood up and removed his shirt then his pants. He shivered uncontrollably in the cold and closed his eyes as he put his hands against the rough wooden wall. His body tensed as he waited for the first lash.
"Count out loud. If you cry, I add ten."
The angel pounded on the side of the shed. "Master, don't do this. Please. He's your son. Jaylen hasn't done anything to deserve this punishment. He's a child."
"Are you trying to give me orders, angel?" Doran asked angrily.
"Master, I was only trying to explain to you-"
"Explain what to me? Explain what? That you don't think I have the right to whip my child?"
"Not for him doing nothing. You're drunk. Don't hurt your child. Haven't you done enough tonight? Haven't you hurt enough innocent lives tonight?"
"If you care so much, then why don't you take the beating for him?"
The angel wasn't going to give up. "If you let Jaylen go back inside and let him go to bed, then I will take his whipping for him. Beat me instead. Don't hurt your son."
Doran pushed Jaylen down on the floor and stepped over him. "Go inside, Jaylen. I will come for you later. What is this? What have you been eating?"
Jaylen curled up where he had fallen, too afraid to move.
"What is wrong with you, you worthless lazy brat?" Doran grabbed onto Jaylen's collar and pulled him to his feet. "I asked you a question!"
"I don't know!" Jaylen screamed through his tears.
"I gave you a chance to get away, but if you're going to be a baby, then I will beat that weakness out of you!"
Chapter 2
"No!" Jaylen sat up in his bed as the sweat poured down his face. His heart was racing and he looked around in the darkness. Every inch of his body was on high alert. When a hand touched his bare back, he punched at the person."No!"
Zeriel sat up and grabbed Jaylen's wrist then took him in his arms. "Hey, stop. Stop screaming. It's all right. Shh."
It was Zeriel, just Zeriel. He had forgotten that Zeriel slept in his bed with him tonight. Jaylen turned to face him and felt a bit better as the angel surrounded him with his black wings. But he needed to distance himself. He slid out of bed then searched for his pants. "Where are my pants?"
"On the back of the chair. Are you okay?"
"No. No, I'm not." He hurriedly pulled his pants on then leaned on the dresser and stared at his reflection in the mirror as he summoned a tiny dim ball of mage-glow. "Doran . . ."
"You had a nightmare?" Zeriel asked.
"That angel was you, wasn't it? The one who talked to me and gave me mana when I was locked in the shed in the backyard. It was you all along."
Zeriel got out of bed and smoothed his black pants and tunic. "It was me. I have always been with you."
Jaylen ripped the sky blue topaz amulet from around his neck and threw it on the floor. "Damned amulet. I hate it. You were right. It's changing me. It's giving me nightmares and making me act in strange ways. It has been recording it all. I watched some of it last night, and I couldn't believe what I saw. I'm so sorry for yesterday after my bath. I don't know what came over me. I don't feel that way for you, but I was . . ."
"I know. That wasn't you, Jay."
"I feel so embarrassed. It's like whatever kind of magic is in that thing is trying to make me break my vows in whatever way possible. Why? Ugh, even thinking about how it made me feel yesterday makes me sick. I'm not attracted to you, Zeriel. You're like my father."
Zeriel went up to him and stroked Jaylen's messy blond hair. "I know. Why do you think I didn't make a bigger deal out of it? I'm all for us having a close relationship, but we both know where the lines are."
"I have no intentions of crossing those lines. Ever." Jaylen traced the purple lines of his sun sigil on his bare chest. "I need to pray."
"It wasn't just me, you know? You would have acted that way with anyone at that time because of how the amulet was playing with your mind. Those feelings and desires weren't your true ones. At least it wasn't Liaxa. She might have encouraged you."
"I know. Now that stupid amulet has given me the most realistic nightmare I've ever had. It was like I was reliving it all."
"When your baby sister died?" Zeriel asked.
"Yes. That one. Not that I really want to know the details, but you were there. How did she die?"
"Are you certain you can handle knowing that?"
Jaylen poured himself a glass of water from the pitcher on the table. He took a drink as he tried to calm his nerves. "It's not a question of if I can handle it or not. I have to know. I have to know how she died. Please tell me everything."
"I would rather not recount the events of that night."
"It's an order. I order you to tell me."
Zeriel leaned against the wall and stared at the floor. "When Doran left the tavern for the night, he was drunk. I had to help him walk back home. Once we got back, he ordered me to stay outside in the snow. While that sounds awful, I was used to it. He didn't care if I was cold or injured. I didn't matter. Anyway, he went inside the house and I heard him yelling at you. After a while and after he had taken you to the shed, I watched through the window of the house as your mother gave birth. She was actually begging Doran to let me come inside and help her. I had delivered you, so she knew I was capable. But Doran wouldn't have it. He ignored her cries for help and continued drinking. Well, your sister was born and she was crying. She looked healthy. Then . . ."
"Then what?"
"Please, Jaylen. Don't make me say it. I really can't do this. You know that I hate it when children are mistreated."
Jaylen slammed his fist on the wooden table. "I need to know the truth. For years, my mother and father both covered it up. They told me that she just stopped breathing and that there was nothing they could have done to save her. Somehow, I didn't believe them. Tell me, Zeriel. You have to tell me what my father did to my sister."
"Then I will say this one time and never again. Doran went into the bedroom and took your sister from your mother's arms. He started yelling at your mother because the baby was crying too much and giving him a headache. He told her that she needed to make the baby stop crying or he would make the baby stop crying forever. Corina tried to make your sister stop crying, but Doran's screaming didn't help the situation. I was forced to watch as your father shook your sister until she stopped crying. He then threw her on the bed. It all happened so fast that I couldn't get in there and stop it. I hated myself for so long because of it. At least I was able to save you from a similar fate."
He knew it was bad, but he had no idea it was that bad. "And no one cared? Did the guards not ask about the baby? No one?"
"They came to house the next day while you were at school and questioned everyone. I wanted to tell them the truth so badly, but Doran had threatened me the night before after he found out that I saw what happened. I let him spew a bunch of lies, all the while watching Corina weeping uncontrollably. Due to your father's status in Ilyan, the guards accepted his story as the fact and didn't investigate anymore."
"Can I tell you something private?" Jaylen asked, remembering more details about that time in his life.
"Of course."
"I remember that day especially. When I came home from school, my parents were fighting. I hid in my room until late at night. My mother was in the bathroom. She had taken a bunch of drugs and was v
ery, very sick. Doran came into my room and dragged me down the hall to his room. That was the first night he did things to me."
"I'm so sorry." Zeriel slowly shook his head. "I would have helped you if I could have, but Doran gave me specific orders to stay in the shed and not come out until morning. He told me what he was going to do to you. I begged him not to do it, but he ignored me. I'm sorry, Jaylen. I should have . . . done something."
"There wasn't anything you could do. It's okay."
"But it's not okay. Nothing about it was okay."
Jaylen rubbed his eyes with his hand as he sighed. "How could I have ever called Doran my father? You were more of a father to me than he was."
"That is true. Sad, but true."
Jaylen sighed as he picked up the amulet and turned it over in his hands. He had to change the subject, but the memories of it all still burned inside of him. "Tell me the truth, Zeriel. Did I try to do anything in my sleep to you?"
"No. Nothing. All I did was hold you like you asked me to."
"That's the last time I wear this thing to bed."
Zeriel poured himself a glass of water from the pitcher on the side table near the bed. "It should be the last time you wear it all."
"But I need it to cast my magic. Without my hand, I'm useless."
"Then we just need to closely monitor you when you do wear it to make sure that it doesn't make you do something awful. I would hate myself if something happened when I could have stopped it. Why do you think I agreed to sleep in your bed?" Zeriel asked. "So that I would be right there in case that amulet did anything to you."
"Thank you, Zeriel. Thank you for understanding."
"Hey, you're my son."
Jaylen turned to him and smiled. He was right. Zeriel was his father in every way but blood relation. He was his father in all the ways that truly mattered. "Well, Dad, do you want to go get something to eat? I'm suddenly starving."
"You aren't really going to call me that, are you?"
"Ha ha. Nope. I just wanted to see your reaction. Though, breakfast does sound amazing."
"I agree. Would you like me to bake you some cinnamon buns?" Zeriel asked with a renewed smile.
Angel of Darkness Books 1-5 Page 39
