Five beers later, I was thoroughly drunk, but not drunk enough to know I needed to stop. My phone on the bar lit up and vibrated against the wood. I picked it up and saw a text from Megan.
I’m home early.
I smiled for a second before placing the phone back down. When she told me she was working today, I was relieved. I didn’t want the added pressure of her expecting to see me.
My thoughts turned to the night before and how brilliantly she had handled my demands on her body. Remembering it was a nice reprieve to the darkness settled like a black cloud over my head.
I had picked up a little something for Megan earlier in the week. When I showed up at her house, I was anxious to play. Anxious to lose myself in the headiness of her submission. Anxious to forget about what was looming on the horizon for the next day. For those few hours, we were going to be together, I knew that Ella would be the farthest thing from my mind.
Stripping her bare was one of my favorite things, and I savored every minute of it—taking my time and exploring every inch of her soft, smooth skin I revealed.
“Do you trust me?” I asked her as I stood behind her running my lips over her neck and shoulder. My hands were cupping her breasts, my thumbs running back and forth over her nipples.
“Yes,” she said emphatically.
“Don’t move,” I told her before heading over to where I left the box I had come with. Taking the choker out, I had a moment of concern that she wouldn’t like this. My need to see her in the necklace ultimately outweighed my fear.
The brown leather was soft as I tightened it around her neck. The long loop of pearls hung down her back, teasing me. My fingers itched to pull them as I plowed into her from behind. To yank them in order to angle her where I wanted her. She was going to be at my mercy—just the way I preferred her.
“Is it too tight?” I asked, running my finger under the choker.
“N… No,” she stuttered. Her breathing was shallow and erratic. All the signs that she was aroused were there. In that minute, I knew that if I ran my fingers through her slit, they’d come back wet.
Using the pearls, I pulled her over to the dining room table. My hands on her waist helped her up on the table where I positioned her on her knees with her back facing me. The only thing she wore besides the choker was a sexy pair of heels that I made her put on before we started. The loop of pearls rested in her ass crack and the heels of the shoes pressed into the curves of her ass. She was quite simply perfection. I could have stared at her posed like this for hours.
Pulling on the pearls her head came back, giving me perfect access to her neck. I ran my tongue along her skin, feeling goose bumps form on the flesh.
“Do you like being at my mercy?” My voice was low and full of lust. I loved that she had this effect on me.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Touch yourself, Megan. Rub that clit for me.”
She immediately obeyed. Her breath hitched when I pinched her nipples hard at the same time I bit down on the section of skin where her neck and shoulder met.
“Are you wet?” I continued to roll her nipples between my thumb and forefinger.
“Yes,” she answered after several long seconds.
“Show me how wet. Dip your finger inside and then bring it to my lips.”
She dutifully obeyed, rubbing her slick digit across my bottom lip before I sucked it into my mouth. Releasing her finger, I instructed her to go back to touching herself. Grabbing a bottle of lube from my jacket pocket, I poured it down her ass crack. Her body trembled as my finger teased her puckered hole before slipping past the ring of muscles. I moved it in and out at a slow pace.
“You’re beautiful. Do you know that?”
Her only answer was for her head to fall forward and a ragged breath to leave her lungs.
“One day I’m going to fuck you here. You like that idea. I can tell.”
She nodded, so I picked up the pace and continued talking low to her. “Tell me how bad you want my cock right now. How bad you want me to fuck you. Make me crazy, buttercup. Make me want to tear you in two.”
“Mack… Shane,” she corrected herself. “I want your big cock deep inside me. Please fuck me while your finger fucks my ass. Show me what it’s like to be stuffed full of you. Please.”
My breath caught hearing her beg. The need in her voice was palpable and my dick strained against the zipper of my jeans wanting just that. Every single word she spoke set my blood on fire.
I pulled the pearls again and whispered in her ear, “Don’t move. Stick your fingers inside yourself, but don’t come.”
Taking a step back, I quickly undressed and returned to where she waited for me like a perfect present.
“Good girl,” I praised her while running my hands over her torso to cup her breasts again. “Now bend over and grab the edge of the table.”
I pulled her legs down so she was bent over the table and spread wide for me. Once she was in position, I plunged into her. Grabbing the pearls, I pulled out until the head of my cock was the only thing inside her and then yanked hard, forcing her back against me.
“Yes!” She cried out.
My finger worked her ass as over and over again, I used the choker to fuck her until we both came in a blinding rush. I stilled inside her as my body was racked with wave after wave of pleasure. Fully spent, I rested my forehead on her back and attempted to regulate my breathing.
Picking Megan up, I carried her to her room and laid her down on the bed. After getting a warm washcloth from her bathroom, I gently cleaned her up and took the choker off her. When I returned from the bathroom, she was mostly asleep. I stood and watched her for several moments, unable to look away from her and all her beauty. My chest constricted with an emotion I didn’t want to try to place when she sleepily murmured, “You can stay. Please stay with me.”
At war with myself, I didn’t know what to do. This was unchartered territory for me. I never stayed. Ever. I hadn’t slept with a woman for almost nineteen years. I wasn’t sure I could do it. It almost felt like I’d be cheating on Ella, or rather the memory of her, if I did.
When Megan burrowed further into the blankets and emitted a little sigh, I somehow found myself closing the distance between myself and the bed. My plan was to kiss her forehead and leave. Instead, I ended up under the covers with myself behind her with my body pressed against the length of hers.
What was I doing? I hadn’t a clue, but I couldn’t stop myself even if I wanted to.
I assured myself that this wasn’t love when I threaded my fingers in hers and pulled her as close as I could. No, this was just me looking to wash away the pain, if only for a night. Tomorrow we’d go back to the way things were. We had to.
A couple stumbling down the hall all hands and tongues, heading for the men’s bathroom, broke me from the memory. A cold sweat had broken out on my body, and I decided I needed to stop drinking. What had started as a sensual memory of fucking Megan had turned into my worst fear realized. I was in too deep with her, and it scared the living shit out of me.
* * *
Megan
Could today go by any slower? My twelve hour shift felt like twenty-four and there was still four hours left to go. I wasn’t sure I was going to make it. All I wanted to do was daydream about Mack and how I had woken up to him wrapped tightly around me the day before. It probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do, sleeping with him. I couldn’t deny I enjoyed every second of it though, and that I wanted more of it. Especially since the nightmares that generally plagued me, hadn’t that night.
“Megan,” a voice whispered in my ear. Two hands rested on the counter in front of me, caging me in. Lips brushed against my neck, making me shiver.
“Dean,” I replied.
Wasn’t this quite the predicament? I hadn’t had a chance to tell Dean I was no longer in the market for no-strings-attached hook-up sex.
“I’ve missed you,” he continued. “Come home with me tonight. Or b
etter yet, come into the on-call room with me.”
His lips moved further down my neck and out of habit, I tilted my head to give him better access. Before I could answer him though, he was pulled away from me.
“What the fuck?” He clipped out, and I whirled around to find Mack in his face.
“You touch her again and I’ll break every bone in your fucking body,” Mack threatened in a low and lethal sounding tone.
“Who the fuck is this guy?” Dean demanded to know.
“No one,” I responded without even thinking. Quickly backtracking, I went on, “This is Shane. We… um… are… um…” God, I didn’t know what to call us without sounding like an ass. “Special friends?”
“So you’re fucking us both,” Dean deduced.
“Well, not exactly,” I hedged. “See I haven’t slept with you in a while.”
“Really, Megan?” Mack turned his glare on me and asked in disbelief. “How many men do you fuck?”
Part of me shriveled inside at the tone of his voice and what he was alluding to. Even Mack thought I was a slut. My shoulders slumped and my defenses came out. “That’s none of your business.”
“It sure as fuck is,” he roared. Even Dean shrank back slightly at his outburst. “I don’t fucking share. And I sure as hell don’t want sloppy fucking seconds.”
That was it. I lost it. I couldn’t believe he was talking to me this way. And a quick glance around me showed that we were drawing a crowd. Even better… not!
“God! How did we even end up here?” I screamed. “We were supposed to be a one-night stand. You don’t get to dictate what I do in my life. You know what Dean? I am available later if the offer to go to your place still stands.” My eyes never left Mack’s as I addressed Dean. I could see the anger building in them and at that moment, I didn’t have it in me to care.
“This is fucking great. Didn’t realize you were such a whore, Megan.” With one last scathing look, Mack stormed past us.
“Get back to work,” I yelled at the crowd watching us with rapt attention. Once everyone cleared from the hallway, I propped my head in my hands on the counter and willed myself to calm down.
How the hell had things gotten so out of hand? Because you are fucked up and not meant to have a relationship.
My eyes closed as my mind replayed the humiliation of the last few minutes. Not only was my personal business flung around the ER, but it would be all over the hospital within hours. And Mack? God, the way he looked at me with such disgust made my chest ache. ‘Didn’t realize you were such a whore, Megan’ repeated in my head over and over making me cringe.
“You serious about hooking up tonight?” Dean asked.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I couldn’t bring myself to lift my head and look at him.
“Rain check?” He asked hopefully. If I wasn’t so beaten by what had just happened, I might have laughed at how desperate he sounded.
“Sure,” I replied.
Eventually, I picked my head up, squared my shoulders and got back to work. Life would go on. It always did.
Chapter Ten
You know the saying you can’t go home again? Well fuck whoever thought that was the case.
After a week of wallowing in regret over the situation with Dean and Mack, I decided it was time to go back home to Virginia and decompress. Nothing could cure heartache quite like a hug from Dad along with some comfort food from Mom. And there was no question about it, my heart hurt.
The rumors and whispers around the hospital had reached a deafening height over the last week. The breaking point, though, was the previous night, when I walked into a patient bay while two nurses were restocking and talking about how I was prone to threesomes. I couldn’t quite wrap my head around the graphic—and unequivocally false—descriptions they were weaving about my sex life. Needless to say both women not only got a tongue lashing from me, but they were written up for having inappropriate conversations where patients could overhear. It was probably overkill, but I had to get the message out there that I wasn’t going to tolerate it anymore.
It didn’t help matters that Dean had been following me around like a lost puppy the last couple of days too. He was becoming a bit too much. It reeked of desperation. Or maybe I was just that good of a lay. After the scene he had been subjected to, you would have expected him to turn tail and run.
Just like Mack did.
I tried not to dwell on that fact. Although it was easier said than done most days.
Pulling up to my parents’ house, I let out a sigh of relief. There was something about the old white and blue farmhouse that just made me feel safe. It was my happy place. Even without Rachel being there, it would always be that for me. Nothing could erase the memories of all the good times we shared.
Leaving my suitcase in the car, knowing my dad would insist on bringing it in, I walked up the porch steps.
I paused at the dual handprints in red paint on the top step. No matter how many times my dad repainted that white porch, he always left that patch of boards untouched. I bent over and ran my fingers over mine and Rachel’s names in little girl scribble underneath. I couldn’t help but smile, remembering how much fun we used to have on that porch playing Barbies, dress up, or coloring. We even had our first kisses on that porch—both on the same night with a pair of cousins.
The front door opened, and I lifted my head to see my mom standing in front of me with a towel in her hand, the picture image of my grandmother in her younger years.
“Mom,” I choked out before I ran to her and buried my face in her neck.
“Oh, sweetie,” she crooned in my ear. “What’s the matter?”
“Everything.” My voice caught with the emotion that was threatening to break free. I hadn’t felt this horrible in a long while. The depression I fought so hard after Rachel’s death was attempting to drag me under again.
“It will be okay. We’ll make sure of it,” she reassured me. “Come inside and I’ll make you some tea. Your father will be home soon.”
I pulled back and looked at her with unshed tears behind my eyes. “Actually, I was looking forward to sitting up on the hill for a bit.” At her knowing look I reluctantly admitted, “I miss Rachel.”
My mom nodded her head in understanding, tears welling in her own eyes now, and kissed my cheek. She knew that the bluff overlooking our meadow was the one place I felt close to Rachel. We used to spend hours there reading and daydreaming. Even planning for our futures.
Sitting under a tree close to the edge of the bluff, I felt at peace. My thoughts went through every second of the time I had spent with Mack. All the things he had done to me. All the things he made me do and everything he had ever said.
I found it hard to accept that I had been alone in feeling our connection. I wasn’t imagining things when he acted jealous over Dean and that had to count for something. It went against everything I knew to spend as much time with him both inside and outside the bedroom as I did. For as freaked out as it made me, I knew there was something there. If there wasn’t, then I wouldn’t have ultimately fallen in love with the man.
That was the biggest issue at hand… I loved him. His eyes hypnotized me, and his body took me to places I never knew existed. He made me feel whole and satisfied, something I had struggled with finding ever since my teen years.
When he was right there in the moment with me and not dwelling on the death of his wife, I thought it might be possible for him to love me too. Especially after he stayed with me that night. Waking up to his beautiful face in the morning was amazing and not something I ever thought I would have enjoyed so much. But it’s too hard to fight a ghost. Until he wanted to let go of the past, I knew pinning a future on him was a lost cause.
I couldn’t discount his preference towards domination either. I didn’t believe him when he fluffed it off as nothing more than something he enjoyed. It was a definite part of him, and I wanted to know the reason. There was a story there, and I needed
all the details. Not that I didn’t enjoy submitting to him, because I did. It was just a part of his personality he held back from me, and that I wanted to uncover.
It was times like these that I really wished Rachel were here to help me figure things out. It’s lonely missing your other half, which is exactly what she was for me.
Content with listening to the birds chirping and the leaves lightly blowing in the breeze, I laid back and closed my eyes. I could feel the stress melting away with each minute that passed.
I had no idea how long I had been there when I heard footsteps approaching. I shaded my eyes from the bright afternoon sun and looked up to see my dad just as he sat down in the grass next to me.
“Hi, Tweedledum.”
“Dad.” I returned his greeting with a smile. My dad was still a handsome man with his dark hair and green eyes, even if he did have a bit of a gut forming since he retired from his bank job. Even if he wasn’t attractive, the way he loved so fully would have sealed the deal on his winning status.
“Mom told me things aren’t going so good. Thought I’d come find my girl and see if I could make it better.”
“I wish it were that easy,” I mumbled.
He sighed. “I know. The older you get the harder it is for me to fix your problems. It sure isn’t anything like when you were a little girl and your biggest issue was falling off your bike. So why don’t you fill your old man in on what has you down and we’ll see how I can help.”
When I didn’t answer him right away, he guessed at what was plaguing me. “Is it a man?”
“I guess,” I evaded.
“It isn’t like you to let the guys get you down. That was always Rachel’s thing. You were always so independent and strong. Made it easier on me knowing that I didn’t have to worry about both of my girls. As it was you two made me go prematurely gray without adding in the boys.”
Bound in Blue Page 9
