"It all happened so fast. They were pointing a gun at Salma's head. I called as soon as I could focus my thoughts," Caeli answered somewhat defensively.
"I understand." Vin saw the look on Caeli's face change. His question hurt her feelings, and he immediately regretted the unintentional accusation it implied.
Caeli looked ashamedly down at her hands and avoided looking directly at Vin. This was yet another failure on her part. This trip had been full of them. Caeli found herself useless to everyone, even herself. She was weak and now, with her physical condition up in the air again, she considered herself a huge burden on Vin and everyone else. An ever-growing guilt gnawed at her.
"Caeli, look at me. I'm sorry. That did not come out the way I intended. I was only asking to make sure that they had not done anything to you to prevent you from calling. I wanted to make sure that they didn't hurt you." Vin reached out to push her hair out of her eyes so he could see her face.
"They weren't interested in me. They only wanted Salma." Caeli was not finding comfort in Vin's attempt to backpedal.
"Good. Then let's forget about it for now."
"Vin, can we forget this whole trip? I want to go home. Can we just leave?"
Vin read the seriousness in the look on her face. She'd had enough. He wanted nothing more than to grant her request, but he could not. Salma would never clear Caeli to fly. The weather would prevent it even if he should decide to disregard Salma's advice. Besides, Caeli had unfinished business here. Vin would help her complete it before they left. At the moment, however, he set all of these matters aside. Vin wanted to cheer Caeli up and hoped the news he was about to share would accomplish that.
"Honey, I have something to tell you."
Caeli didn't need an explanation for his quick avoidance of her question. She understood that Vin could not take her home, as much as he might want to accommodate her. Caeli knew she could not leave yet.
"I know."
"You do? Did Salma tell you?"
"No, she refused to say. She told me that task was reserved for you, but she did share a few poignant comments. I know it has to do with what's wrong with me."
"I'm glad she didn't tell you. I wanted you to hear it from me. I think it is going to make you feel better."
"Really? I would like that. What is it?"
"How would you like to get off this floor first?"
"Yes, please. Would you mind giving me a hand?"
"I will give you two. You will have to endure me carrying you again; doctor's orders. Otherwise, you stay right where you are."
Caeli looked up at him for a moment, recalled Salma's instructions about bed rest, and then agreed to Vin's terms. After folding down the covers of the recently made bed, Vin lifted Caeli as if she was nothing more than a feather, and placed her in the center. He put several pillows behind her so that she was propped up enough to eat. Vin brought the serving tray in from the hall and sat it on the bedside table. As Vin ladled some of the still warm broth into the small bowl, he explained how Ben made the special meal for her. When the bowl was half full, Vin replaced the lid on serving dish, put a spoon in the soup bowl, and handed it to Caeli.
"You must be hungry. I can't remember when you last ate. How long has it been?"
After calculating it in her head, Caeli reached the same conclusion as Vin. Her last meal or food of any kind was dinner Monday night, but she was not hungry at all. Just thinking about eating made Caeli feel queasy. However, she knew that Vin would not be happy if she refused to eat. Ben would be insulted if she didn't at least taste his soup, even though soup was not high on her list of favorite foods.
Caeli held onto the bowl with both hands. It seemed unusually heavy. After a moment, her arms began to shake. Vin took the bowl away, realizing that she was much weaker than she appeared. Caeli, herself, could not believe that she had become so feeble, and she did not like the feeling of helplessness.
"Why don't I hang onto the bowl for you? I will bet good money that you can still conquer the spoon," Vin tried to lighten her mood. He knew Caeli did not like being forced to rely on other people to do things for her. Though this week was an extreme exception, Caeli was generally independent and seldom required help with normal tasks.
"I learned a long time ago not to bet against you, Vin," Caeli tried not to let her frustration show.
She sipped three or four spoons of the broth before she gave up and left the spoon in the bowl. She simply had no appetite and could not force herself to eat any more. Despite Vin's encouragement, she did not raise the spoon again. Instead, Caeli slowly leaned forward and kissed Vin before sliding down in the bed, suddenly very tired again.
"Please let me get you something else if you don't like the soup. You really need to eat. How about something simple, maybe some toast?" Vin offered.
"No thanks. Tell Ben his soup was good. I'm just not hungry."
"Then perhaps a glass of milk or juice? You need something to help you regain your strength," Vin insisted.
"Honestly, Vin, I can't. My stomach is already turning flips at the mere thought of it. It was all I could do to get the soup down."
It was then that Caeli spotted the picture frame on the bedside table. Vin explained about Max's rescue attempt and their subsequent meal. Vin repeated Max's story about his third birthday and his mother, and how Max insisted that Vin bring her the photo to make her smile. Caeli was moved by the boy's concern for her.
"He probably blames himself. I should really go see him," Caeli said, but made no attempt to get up. Her mood continued to spiral downward. Her emotional depression began to produce physical signs.
"Not now. You go ahead and rest. I have already talked to Max. He is handling the situation very well. He understands more than most kids his age. If you're feeling up for it later, perhaps I will bring him in for a brief visit before dinner. How's that sound?"
"Agreeable. Before I fall asleep again, will you please tell me what Salma found? She insisted that I had to stay in bed for a while. Neither one of you will let me move on my own. Granted, I'm not planning to run in a marathon, but not being able to walk around is ridiculous. Salma was so serious, and I have been imagining terrible things; but you said it would cheer me up. I could really use that. Besides, I can't stand not knowing. The stress of it is fraying my nerves. Please, Vin, tell me what's wrong with me this time," Caeli looked over at Vin, who returned all of the dishes to the serving tray and took up her hands once again.
He didn't answer her question right away. Instead, Vin leaned in and kissed her to begin the conversation on a different note.
"Ben said you mentioned something about our son when you were talking in your sleep. Did you know the baby was a boy? Is that why you chose baby blue colors for your clothes?"
"Yes."
Caeli dared to look into Vin's eyes. She did not see the blame or anger that Rika tried to convince her Vin would harbor. All she saw was love. How could she ever have let herself believe Rika's lies? Even Max, a mere child, had known better than to listen to Rika.
"Did you know that he was sick? He was poisoned, the same as you."
"No, but that's not why this happened. Salma said it was stress and my injuries that triggered the miscarriage; but those were caused by another source. I would have done anything or given anything to save him, Vin. God knows I would; I tried. I am so sorry that I couldn't."
"I know you would, and I know you tried. Don't apologize. I just wanted to make sure that you understood that the poison reached him, too. Whatever harms you also harms the baby."
"I do understand. When I got on the plane Sunday, I had already taken one of those drugstore tests. I was so excited. I just knew that I was pregnant. Unfortunately, the test results were unclear. So Salma was going to confirm it before you arrived. But, then, what I thought was morning sickness got much worse."
"I suspected the morning sickness," Vin smiled.
"I assumed as much, but I still wanted to surprise you."
"You succeeded."
"By the time we reached the arena, I was no longer confident about the pregnancy. I certainly didn't think my problem was as serious as it turned out to be. After you told me about the poison, I was terrified for the baby. He was getting his nourishment from me, and I had been feeding him poison. Salma told me earlier that I would be fine, but wanted to wait until you got back from the hospital so she could tell us both the details. When she didn't mention the baby, I got scared. I worried all day," Caeli confessed, taking full responsibility for her consumption of the tainted bars.
"I'm sorry. I wish I had known. Why didn't you say anything to me then?"
"I intended to tell you that night, but then I got distracted with worry for Lara. After that, I took another store-bought test and got confirmation from Salma's lab work. It all happened so fast. I was excited once again. But, now I've had time to stop and think about everything that has happened since then. I'm starting to sort it all out. I'm even beginning to accept the loss of our baby."
"Try not to think about that right now. I want you to focus on the fact that the baby gets it strength and its health directly from you. If you are healthy, he is healthy. When you are happy, he can feel that as well. He also feels the stress that you feel. Keep that in mind when I show you this." Vin smiled as he reached over and retrieved the ultrasound photo from the bedside table where Salma had placed it. He handed the image to Caeli.
"What do you see?" Vin asked, still smiling.
"A blurry picture of the baby, but it looks…I don't know, like the camera was shaking." Caeli started to hand it back, unwilling to look at it any longer. Vin held the photo in front of her.
"That's what I thought, too. I asked Salma if the machine was broken. Look closer, Caeli."
Caeli studied the photo with renewed interest, but could not discern what Vin wanted her to notice. In fact, forcing herself to focus was beginning to give her a headache.
"Please, what am I supposed to see, Vin?"
"Twins! Honey, you were carrying twins," Vin's smile grew as he revealed the good news.
Caeli looked at the photo a third time. It still took several minutes, but she finally saw them. At first, she thought it was cruel to tell her such a thing after she miscarried. Why compound her sorrow? But Vin would never do that to her. Caeli looked at Vin's smile and the sparkle in his eyes. She noticed his hand resting lightly on her belly, and then she understood. There was a valid reason for the lingering traces of life she felt inside of her. Miraculously, she had not miscarried both babies. One child remained.
Salma would have told Vin that the remaining child was high risk, and that she would be at risk, too. That's why Salma gave the strict order for bed rest. That's why Vin was enforcing it. It also explained why, aside from his concern for her, he was being so pushy about getting her to eat and regain her strength. Vin did not want her weakness to adversely affect the baby and his second chance to become a father. There was still a possibility that he might have a son, and Vin was determined to protect this child. This time, Caeli would try to be strong enough. She would try not to fail Vin again.
She looked over at Vin and genuinely smiled at the good news, and saw her happiness reflected on his face. Caeli didn't need to say anything else. Knowing was enough for both of them. She promised Vin she would eat something more when she woke. Caeli fell asleep, afraid for her baby and in pain from her injuries, but with a glimmer of hope shining through the shadows filling her mind. Vin sat in a chair beside the bed and sampled a few bites of Ben's chicken soup, wondering if Caeli was just being polite about the flavor.
"Guard her well, Brother."
"Raph? It's good to hear your voice. Have you come to help Caeli? She could sure use the benefit of your touch right now," Vin hoped their luck was finally turning around.
"Yes, but not like that. I cannot do that for her until she decides."
"Decides what? Just ask. Whatever it is, I am sure she will give you an answer. Then you can heal her. Let me wake her."
"No, it is not that simple. All is not as it seems, Brother. Caeli's gift has been with her since she was a young child, only she has not been aware of it until recently. Its development in this manner is unexpected. Unfortunately, her gift has been abruptly forced on her by one who is lost and would abuse such power. Until Caeli resolves the conflict within, I cannot interfere."
"You mean Rika, don't you? No need to spell that one out. I know there is something hostile between the two of them. If you can't heal Caeli, then why are you here?" Vin's disappointment was evident.
"Much has changed for her, but Caeli's most difficult challenges lie ahead. If certain events happen, she will view them through blind eyes and may not be able to see the good at work. She may be confused."
Vin felt a reassuring hand on his shoulder, sending a steady flow of energy into him. It was a comfort Vin appreciated, but wished that Caeli could receive as well.
"Confused? Saying Caeli is confused right now is equivalent to saying a hurricane is only a bit of wind and rain. She is already well beyond confused. She is overwhelmed. Caeli deserves so much better than this. Now you are saying the worst is yet to come. Is there nothing you can do to help her?"
"I am doing it right now. I wish this was not necessary, Eyvindr. I did not want the two of you to be involved with this. I wish you the peace and happiness you sought; but, neither my wishes nor yours will change what must be faced."
"I know you mean well, Raph. I appreciate your concern, but cryptic messages? You had to know that would not sit well with me."
"I knew."
"Then why bother? If you can't give me specifics, then why bring me puzzles? Why not leave me in the dark?" Vin asked, clearly frustrated.
"Perhaps, now that you have been enlightened, you may be able to draw Caeli back from the darkness that seeks to consume her."
"What darkness? Is this about her gift or Rika? Is it a physical threat to Caeli or the baby? Can you tell me anything helpful, Raph?" The wind in the room stirred only slightly as Vin managed to keep his emotions in check. He understood that Raphael was trying to help, in his own way, frustrating though it may be.
"I regret that I cannot give you definitive answers. Caeli needs to know that Rika is protected by the nature of her situation. Caeli cannot change that nature without surrendering herself. It will cost her dearly to force Rika's hand."
"Caeli has already paid a high price. Are you saying that Caeli cannot prevent what Rika is trying to do? That she will fail if she tries?" Vin was appalled at the idea.
"No, that is not what I said. But, there is much more that Caeli could still lose if she attempts to play by Rika's rules. Michael is monitoring the situation closely, but even he cannot interfere when free will is involved. Caeli must decide." With those parting words, Raphael was gone. Vin could no longer feel the angel's presence. He was not certain if he should be relieved or concerned that both Michael and Raphael were so interested in the events taking place around Caeli.
CHAPTER 42
Ben brewed a large pot of coffee at the counter in the lounge. He poured Salma a cup and took it to her, where he seated himself next to her on the sofa. Then a few of the others helped themselves. Colonel Franks, Jeremy, Maku, Pete, Apela, and Max were all present.
Max sat on the opposite side of Salma, having run out to meet her when they came inside. Max noticed a small cut on her elbow which happened during the struggle. The young boy ran off and returned a few minutes later carrying one of Salma's dinosaur Band-Aids. Max offered to put it on her cut, and Salma could not refuse. He fixed her up and now sat quietly beside her with his arm across her lap. Ben, on the opposite side, smiled at the boy's protectiveness and at Salma. Ben put his arm around her shoulders so that Salma could rest her head against him.
Colonel Franks and Jeremy, after working out schedules with Apela for the guardsmen who would be returning, left to begin their rounds walking the perimeter. Apela and Maku went to make sure tha
t all of the doors and windows were shut and locked. Max decided to go with them.
Pete decided to rest for a while. He wasn't feeling well. Before he left, Salma wanted to tell him the good news.
"Pete, I have a possible treatment for you. I can inject you with a different type of blood. The procedure is a bit risky. Your body might reject the blood entirely, in which case, you could get worse. On the other hand, your body could accept it, and it could help you tremendously. It is difficult to say which will happen. It has never been considered, much less tested. But, I strongly believe it will help you. I want you to think about it. The decision has to be yours, and everything would have to be unofficial. None of this would be legally sanctioned. I could get into serious trouble for even offering it to you."
"Dr. Erickson, I have nothing to lose. I know this illness is going to kill me very soon. Therefore, I am willing to take any risk if it offers even the smallest chance at life. I do not need to think about it. I will do it. Thank you for taking a risk on my behalf." With that, Pete walked off toward his room, leaving Ben and Salma the only two people in the lounge.
"It seems we have had quite the busy morning, Love," Ben said.
"Indeed," Salma replied with a smile.
"That was a very kind thing you did for Pete."
"It's Caeli who agreed to donate her blood. I'm just the one who is going to transfer it. Besides, I suppose you would have me believe that you were completely innocent of Maku and Pete’s coincidental arrival?" In all the turmoil of the fire and then Caeli's disappearance, Ben forgot to mention the invitation he extended.
"Guilty as charged. I keep forgetting that I married such a clever lady," Ben laughed.
"Yes, Mr. Erickson. Do try to remember that the next time you think you can sneak something by your wife," Salma replied with a grin.
"I have a medical question for you, Mrs. Erickson. Vin and I were talking…," Ben emphasized her married name as he started to change the subject. It still thrilled him to hear it.
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