"When did he first get in contact with you Muffin?" Jake asked, pulling me gently towards him. I remember the phone call I'd received months ago, the one claiming to be my father. I scrunch my brows up at his sick joke.
"There was a phone call, a few weeks before I met you. He said he was my father and then hung up, it was just a sick joke." I say quietly. Jake pulls me into his chest closer and used his free hand to stroke the back of my hair tenderly.
"Jones is a sick man."
A few minutes of silence pass, both Jake and I left with our thoughts.
"Let's go somewhere," he said finally pulling me back and looking me in the eyes eagerly.
"Like another date? It's midnight and the first date didn't turn out so well," I laugh dryly and Jake chuckles a little.
"Not a date, let's just go hang out somewhere."
"Do you enjoy my company Jakey?" I tease him and Jake scowls in response.
"Jakey? Do not call me that." He shakes his head at me and my smile grows wider.
"You're my boyfriend. I can call you what I want." I respond sticking my tongue out at him. Jake grins at me, his tension completely disappearing. He grabs me, lifting me up in one swift move. I squeal and fight against him, enjoying his playful side.
"Put me down Jake." I giggle, my arms waving around aimlessly in the air.
"Whatever you say Muffin" he chuckled dropping me from a height onto the couch. I bounced before settling down onto it.
I leaned forward and grabbed Jake's arm pulling him on top of me. He chuckled loudly and I signalled for him to be quiet knowing everyone would be asleep upstairs. Jake shrugged and grinned at me, shifting so all his weight wasn't completely on top of me.
"I like this position," Jake breathed into my neck and I giggled, rolling my eyes at him playfully. He pulled back, blue ocean eyes shimmering down at me. When he leaned down and kissed me, I wasn't ready. Every time he was close, I lost all sense of control. I felt myself spin into waves of pleasure as he flicked out his tongue, running it across my bottom lip. I let out a small sigh of pleasure and Jake pulled back, the tip of his nose touching mine.
"I love you."
I froze underneath him, the smile from my face slowly fading. Did he really just say that?
I feel Jake's body freeze on top of me and then he was off me so quick, I could have blinked and not seen it. I leaned up on my elbows, swallowing the lump in my throat. The atmosphere suddenly became thick filled with tension between us. His words clouded my brain. . . I love you.
"Jake — " I said quietly.
He has his back turned to me and clears his throat. I could see his hands running through his hair wildly - something he did when he's really stressed out or nervous.
"Fuck." He mumbles.
"Jake" I said again, louder this time wanting him to turn around. My heart was beating wildly in my chest from his words. They seemed foreign coming off his lips and I couldn't help but think it was a spur of the moment thing.
"Did you mean it?" I asked quietly, noticing how Jake never turned around. He cleared his throat again and turned to face me. His whole facial expression had changed to one I'd never seen before. His eyes were glossy and looked so vulnerable. I sat up on the couch my own eyes never leaving his.
"Yeah, I do" he whispered, his words soft.
I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders as I registered his words. He loves me. Jake's gaze dropped to the floor as he waiting for my reply. I felt a thousand butterflies flutter through my stomach as I realised he actually loves me. I stood up and walked towards him, taking his hands in mine. They felt rough and large compared to my soft and small ones but I kinda loved that.
I love how completely different we are to each other yet I always feel myself being pulled towards him by a invisible force. I love how he makes me feel and I love how protective he is of me. I love his cheeky comeback's and his flirtatious side. I love how he rescued me not just from Trevor, but from myself. I love the way he cooks me pancakes in the morning and I love the way his nose scrunches up in the most adorable way when he's happy. I love the way he takes care of me... It's the same way I watched my father take care of my mother once upon a time. I love his soft playful side that he only ever seemed to show his close, loved ones.
I love him. I really do love him.
I looked up into his eyes and sensed how scared he was. It was the first time I had ever seen emotional fear in his eyes. He looked at me pleadingly, begging me silently not to turn him away.
"Say something Muffin" he mumbled, breaking the silence between us.
"I love you," I whispered, feeling completely enlightened. A grin broke out on my face as I took in his reaction. I saw his whole posture relax and his blue eyes shine with happiness. He grinned widely, giving me a show stopping smile and chuckled uncertainly as if he didn't believe me and needed reassurance.
"You do?" he asks and I nod, grinning back at him. I wrap my arms around his neck and he laughs again, his chest vibrating with his deep chuckle. He takes hold of my waist and spins me round, resting his forehead against mine, the smile never leaving either of our faces. He uses his hand to tilt my chin up towards him, bringing our lips closer together.
"I love you Muffin," he repeats before his lips come crashing down onto mine, claiming me as his. I don't have a problem with that. I kiss him back just as passionately, sealing our words with our lips.
Chapter Twenty Seven - Anger fuelled confessions.
It's been a few weeks since Jake and I admitted our true feelings to one another. The more time I spend with Jake, the deeper I fall for him. The hype over our new unexpected relationship is beginning to die down in college. The envious stares are becoming less frequent and the loud obnoxious conversations are now hushed whispers.
Ivory is practically a best friend to me and has joined Trish and I's permanent friendship circle.
Everything is going pretty damn great.
I'm at the local food supermarket, pushing the trolley whilst Ivory browses the shelves. I glance down at my watch, noticing we've been frozen in place for the past ten minutes whilst in the junk food aisle.
"Delicious," Ivory grins, her eyes lighting up. She lunges for a bag of Toffee popcorn and drops it into the shopping cart. I glance down at it and grimace at the contents of our trolley. It's full of sugar and processed foods.
"Shouldn't we cut back a little on our sugar intake?" I groan, nudging the trolley into her back gently. She gasps over dramatically and turns around, her hand on her heart.
"No! I love sugar, ok?" she huffs, causing me to roll my eyes at her drama queen attitude.
"Okay," I shrug, grabbing a box of golden balls off the shelves which are practically full of sugar. I know I'm a hypocrite but when it comes to Golden Ball cereal, it's worth it.
"Ooh, you just reminded me! We need milk." Ivory says, walking down the aisle. She stops before turning around —
"I'll be five minutes Em."
I nod at her, pushing the cart into the next aisle which thank god, is fruit and vegetables. I grab some bananas, oranges and apples throwing them into the cart, grateful for fresh and colourful foods.
"Emily?"
I whip my head round and come face to face with Mum. She's carrying a basket and her dark hair is pulled away from her face into a tightly swept back ponytail. She has dark circles underneath her eyes and her eyes are flat, emotionless.
"Mum." I say bluntly, taking a small step back. It feels incredibly surreal to see her after all this time.
"You look good," she smiles tightly at me and I stare at her, my eyes connecting with hers —
"Only because I haven't been beaten recently." I breathe out. I turn to walk away from her, wanting to get as far away as I can. The pain was still raw and I don't think I'll ever overcome it. She stood back and allowed me to be beaten for years by someone who was practically a stranger. Mum held out her hand and took hold of my arm, stopping me in my tracks.
"Emily,
wait! Please." she pleads. The anger in me dies down a little at her desperate tone and I turn towards her, avoiding eye contact. I'm ready for that just yet.
"Come home." she said quietly, murmuring her words. Am I hearing this right?
"Ever since you introduced that monster into my life, he has beaten me black and blue! He's nothing but a violent, cowardly man. You're my mum, you're supposed to take care of me!"
Her eyes flashed with anger, the brown in them turning a shade darker.
"Trevor did nothing wrong."
My eyes widened in shock and I gritted my teeth tightly together, shaking my head in disbelief.
"I was going to tell you to run away from Trevor but you both deserve each other. You disgust me. Dad would be turning in his grave at how evil you've become." I said, watching as the fire in her eyes grew until they were burning holes through mine.
"How dare you speak to me like that!"
This woman was absolutely unbelievable.
I took a step back, making my face emotionless. I didn't want her to know she was upsetting or angering me.
"Goodbye Mum." I said flatly, turning my trolley around and walking away. Before I turned the aisle, I heard her shout me back. I briefly turned to face her, my eyes narrowed in her direction.
"He wasn't your real father!"
Her words were harsh and full of venom, directed to cause pain. I felt my world stop and I instantly froze, my eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. I shook my head, unable to believe her.
"You're saying that because you're angry and you want to hurt me." I said quietly, my voice wobbling. Mum barely flinched, her features were full of hatred for me as she spoke again.
"He isn't your father." She repeated, her words piercing straight through my heart.
And with that, she turned around and left me alone in the aisle, my body frozen in place.
*****
"She's been like this ever since we got back." Ivory whispered to Jake, glancing at me worryingly.
"What happened at the store?" Jake replied, frowning. Ivory shrugged, looking clueless.
"She spoke to her Mum for a while but I don't know what it was about." Ivory murmured. Jake nodded in response before closing over his door, giving me some privacy.
I was lying in bed, facing the wall.
My body felt numb, completely oblivious to the world around me. My mind was blank, my emotions had disappeared. I was a prisoner to my own thoughts and it was exhausting. The ache in my stomach had completely taken over my whole body, seeping its way in my heart.
I felt the mattress dip slightly as Jake sat down, placing a hand on my arm.
"Muffin?" he asked quietly.
I remained silent but a single tear slid out of my eye and down my cheek. There was a few moments of silence before I finally replied -
"He's not my dad." I said quietly barely believing my own words. My chest felt like it was being crushed by an invisible force.
"Who isn't?" Jake asked, confused.
"My dad, wasn't my real dad," I repeat, my vision blurring with tears. I don’t want it to be true.
I feel strong arms wrap around my body and he pulls me tightly into him. I feel my body shake uncontrollably at his affection, the tears falling fast and hard.
"Please let this be a nightmare." I whisper quietly as I wrap my own arms around my shaking form.
"Emily, it doesn't matter who your biological father is. The main that raised you, he's your Dad, he always will be." Jake says firmly. I pause, realising Jake is right.
Anyone can be a sperm donor but it takes a father to be a real father, right?
The man who raised me for years is my father. The man who cooked me my favourite lunch of spaghetti and meatballs everyday for a week because I refused to eat anything else is my father. The man who held me close and wiped away my tears when I was bullied in school is my father. . . He always will be.
"He's still my dad." I said out loud, repeating my thoughts. Jake nods, his thumb drawing circles on the back of my hand.
"He sure is."
I turned towards him, only just noticing the sadness in his eyes. He smiles at me tightly before looking away, pain flashing through his eyes.
"Jake, are you okay?" I whisper and he nods, his jaw clenching a little. I lean forward and kiss his jaw tenderly, knowing he’s probably thinking of his own father.
Jake shields himself with a barrier to protect himself from being hurt. We're so alike in so many ways. I've only seen his vulnerable side once or twice, when his barriers almost threatened to come crashing down.
"Would you like to talk about it?" I offer quietly. Jake shakes his head and I nod, squeezing his hand for reassurance. He gives me a small smile, grateful for not pushing the subject. Whenever he needs me in the future, I'll be there to repay the favour.
"I love you," I whisper. Jake smiles at me before leaning down. Just before our lips meet, he strokes my cheek with his thumb - "I love you more Muffin."
Chapter Twenty Eight - Can’t go back.
"We think you should go back to live with your mother. You're not eighteen yet and we don't think this is the best environment for a young teenager."
I stare at her dumbfounded, my mouth hung open unattractively. For so long I always questioned whether the police would really help me or not and today I found out the answer. . . They wouldn't.
"Trevor beats her and you want her to go back to that hell hole?" Jake says, breaking the silence. I blink a few times, unable to believe her words.
This can not be happening. No way.
I sit there in silence, my body frozen as the sound of Jake's protests float around me. How can the system designed to keep me safe recommend that I go back to the abuse? I don't understand it. I feel my lungs tighten and it becomes difficult to breathe. A grey fog builds inside my mind and I stand to my feet, wavering a little.
"Excuse me," I mumble under my breath, my words shaky and barely audible. My feet begin to move involuntarily and I find myself storming up the stairs, wanting to get away from the officers as much as possible. My hands glide against the walls, keeping me standing upright as I stumble across the landing. My breathing hitches and I suck in harshly, desperately needing the tight hold on my lungs to loosen.
I see an open door and stumble inside, blinking to remove the fog from my vision. My back hits the wall and I inhale deeply, squeezing my eyes shut.
"What the hell are you doing in my room?"
I blink and catch eye contact with Tobias. He's lying on his bed, shirtless whilst propped up against his cushions. There's a questioning glare on his face and I open my mouth to respond but no sound comes out. The buzzing inside my ears intensifies and once Tobias notices the expression on my face, he stands up. I watch as he walks towards me, his dark eyes flashing with concern.
"What's going on? Are you okay?" He asks me. I nod my head even though I'm not okay. I can hear the officer shout my name up the stairs and I squeeze my eyes shut again, shaking my head.
"Please don't tell them I'm here." I whisper and Tobias nods, walking over to close his door. I take the chance to slide down onto the floor, pulling my knees towards my chest. Images of Trevor and Mum cloud my mind and I shake my head, tears rolling down my cheeks.
"I cant go back. I can't go back." I whisper, feeling the tears invade my mouth. It's growing increasingly harder to breathe and I feel myself grow light headed, desperate for oxygen.
"Emily?" Tobias asks, his voice full of unease. I'm aware of his presence but it does nothing to calm me down. Instead I'm embarrassed by Tobias seeing me like this, midway through a panic attack.
"Why does everything keep going wrong?" I whimper, my vision restricted from the tears in my eyes. Tobias leans down beside me and placed one hand on my knee.
"Talk to me, what did the police say?" He asks but the inability to breathe finally catches up with me. Black spots cover my vision and I groan as I feel myself lose control over my body. My eyes flutter shut and I
know I'm seconds away from passing out. I vaguely hear a door slamming open and Jake's angry voice fill the air. Before I have the chance to make sense of his words, my eyes roll to the back of my head and finally the invisible fist squeezing my lungs finally lets go.
My eyes flicker open and I automatically bring my hand up to shield them from the bright sun that's streaming through the window. The light bounces off the wall, directed straight at me.
Why must you be so bright Mother Nature?
My head throbs painfully and I tried lifting it, groaning louder from the sudden pain it was causing me.
"Damn," I croak out but immediately regret it, feeling the sharp sting hit my throat. I felt like I had been hit by a truck.
I inhale deeply, the memories of my panic attack coming back to me. It felt so damn good to be able to breath again.
I reach over Jake's bedside table, glad to stretch my arm and lift the glass of water that was left there. The liquid feels amazing and I gulp it down, my body craving the hydration. I set the glass back down and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand before pulling the cover's away from my body. Bright pink unicorn covered pyjama's stare back at me and I frown further.
Who changed my clothes?
I climb out of bed, stretching my legs as I do so. Jake's room is clean beside from the unmade bed I'm lying in. His weights are neatly stacked in the corner of the room beside his punching bag. I take a few steps away from the bed and stumble a little, feeling foreign on my feet.
How long was I out for?
I run a hand through my hair and grimace at the feel of it, it feels weighed down and in desperate need of a wash. I walk to the edge of the window and glance outside, it looks early morning, maybe three or four am. Small particles of frost clings to the bare tree's signalling winter was arriving.
I’ve slept for 20 hours. Crazy.
If I slept in Jake's bed, where did Jake sleep?
I don't remember him getting into bed with me, the way my body reacted when he was around, my hormones would be screaming if he'd gotten within a few feet of me.
I shudder a little, feeling the cold air cause goosebumps to erupt down my bare arms. I walk over to Jake's door and grab one of his hoody's, pulling it over my head. The material is soft and warm, full of his scent. My body visibly relaxes and heats up slightly, glad for the warmth. I definitely have a thing for wearing Jake's clothes.
His Mission (HIS SERIES Book 1) Page 19
