"When can I go home?" I ask him and the doctor shuffles uncomfortably from the drama that had unravelled.
"That's what I came to tell you Emily. With some rest, you can go home in a few days. We can prescribe you pain relief if you need it."
I nod my head, grateful to finally see an end to my stay in hospital. I give the doctor a small smile —"Thank you Doctor Green, for everything."
*****
I glance at my phone, still no reply from Jake. Sighing I continue brushing through my wet hair, ready to let it air dry. It's amazing what a hot shower and new pyjamas can do to you. I feel like a clean newborn baby, reborn again.
I've just settled into bed, tucking the sheets on either side of me with a magazine and a hot chocolate when the door opens. I froze immediately and stare straight into his eyes.
Dark brown eyes.
Tobias' eyes.
"Tobias, hey." I say softly, placing the magazine back down. His eyes scan the room and his shoulders visibly relax as he takes a step inside and closes the door.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" He says quietly, his words spoken in a low tone. Instantly memories begin flooding back to me, words I'm sure came from Tobias' mouth. I frown deeply, reaching up to rub at my temples.
No . . . Surely I'm wrong, confused even.
Maybe it wasn't Tobias but Jake speaking to me?
Confessing his feelings.
If I accuse Tobias of doing something he didn't do, I know Jake would never forgive him. It would completely ruin the relationship between them
both, maybe forever. I quickly decide to break the silence between us, the best thing to do is to not mention it at all. I have to make myself believe it wasn't real. It can't be, Tobias doesn't even like me.
"Feeling better," I breathe out quietly. He shoves his hands into the front pocket of his jeans and give me a small smile.
"You're finally awake." He responds, dark brown eyes lingering on me for a while. It's almost as if he's trying to figure something out . . . The action has me
confused even further but I try and not let it display across my features. He stands there awkwardly, eyes dropping to the floor.
"What are you doing here Tobias? You hate me."
He appears taken aback by my sudden outburst and he walks towards me, taking a seat in Jake's chair.
"You think I hate you? You're so wrong Emily." He says sadly, shaking his head. The uneasy feeling sinks back into my stomach as the words once again run through my head.
You're all I can think about. . .
I shut my eyes, battling with myself whether I should ask him if it's true or not. I'm so certain it was Tobias speaking to me that night.
"I don't hate you. I was worried when I heard what happened, I'm just really glad you're okay." He adds quietly. I smiled at him gratefully, it feels nice having people genuinely care for my wellbeing.
"Thank you," I respond, taking a sip from my hot chocolate. The liquid warms me up instantly and I sigh, falling flat against my pillows.
"You look great considering you were shot." Tobias adds and I chuckle at his words —
"You should have seen me two days ago. I haven't showered in four weeks, it wasn't pretty. I feel sorry for the poor nurse who had to help me, she must be scarred for life." I joke and Tobias chuckles, his chest vibrating as he laughs. He lowers himself down onto the chair.
"You should laugh more often, you don't come across as scary that way." I smile at him. He mocks hurt and holds his hand to his heart —
"Are you saying I look miserable most of the time?"
I nod my head immediately laughing at his reaction.
"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying."
"You're not the first person to tell me that ironically."
Tobias' gaze land on my arms and I follow them to see what caught his attention . . .
My scars from the rope.
"I can't believe he would do something like that." Tobias mumbled quietly, his eyes frozen in place on the red lines etched into my skin.
"Well believe it because he did."
I quietly study my wrists, grimacing at the sight of them. I don't want to look at them anymore. I turn them away from me, acting like the scars don't exist.
Tobias' hand shoots out immediately and he holds mine, gently turning it back over. I freeze in place, not knowing how to react to the sudden contact.
"You don't have to hide them Emily."
I watch as his fingers trace over the scars and I breathe in sharply, feeling a rush of emotions. I feel the tears well up in my eyes as all the memories come flooding back. It's so hard not to think about Jones and what he did.
"He chained me up, like an animal." I whisper. Saying it out loud finally made me realise how messed up the situation was. I release out a small sob, wrapping my arms around my body protectively. I feel Tobias stand up beside me and pull me to him, letting me nestle against his chest.
"He's gone now." Tobias murmurs as I allow the tears to fall silently. His hand strokes the top of my arm as he attempts to comfort me. I gratefully accept, needing a friend right now. The last thing I want is to to be alone in a dark hospital room with images of Jones filling my thoughts.
"Thanks Tobias," I sniffle, wiping my eyes. His arms wrap around me tighter before he responds, his words softly spoken —
"Don't mention it."
Chapter Forty Three - Scars.
"Let me show you something."
I nod and watch in silence as Tobias walks to the end of my bed. He breathes in deeply as if he's debating whether he's making the right choice or not. I wait patiently, wondering what it is he wants to show me.
He bites the corner of his lip before his fingers find the hem of his shirt. He begins to pull it over his head and I stop him midway, my eyes widening.
"Tobias, what are you doing?"
He carries on, completely ignoring my question. I watch, my eyebrows scrunched up in confusion as he pulls his shirt over his head, the muscles in his stomach flexing. My eyes travelled down to where his jeans hung dangerously low. I avert my eyes, feeling all kinds of wrong.
"Tobias, get dressed." I demand, keeping my eyes away from his body. I hear him sigh and walk towards me, his shoes padding softly on the floor.
"Emily, look at me."
I turn my face towards him, my jaw clenched with frustration. I lose all anger as my eyes meet his, they held such vulnerability in them. A glossy sheen covers his eyes as if he's on the verge of breaking down right here.
"Look," he said firmly, pointing at a section on his body. I inhale deeply before glancing in the direction of his fingers. A sharp gasp escapes my mouth and I finally understand what he wants to show me.
His finger points at his chest, close to where his heart is located. It's hard to see at quick glance but when you look closely, it's clear as day. Underneath a tribal tattoo etched onto his skin is a scar. A circular scar that dipped deep into his skin. It's an ugly white colour, a sign it had been there for years.
"Is that a — "
"A bullet scar."
His jaw completely clenches, his face as icy as stone. My hand shoots up to my mouth as I examine it closely in awe. My other hand reaches towards it but I stop in mid air —
"Can I touch it?" I ask quietly and he simply nods at me, giving me his approval. The second my hand makes contact, I feel him breathe in deeply.
His whole posture tenses up as I run my fingers gently over the scar, feeling the bumps.
"You were shot?" I ask, looking up at him. His hair falls over his eyes as he nods, eyes staring straight into mine.
"It missed my heart by a few inches."
I've never seen his so vulnerable, so scared. He takes my hand in his and places it directly over his chest.
"If I can get through this Emily, so can you. You're strong beyond your wildest dreams."
His skin feels warm and I swallow the thick lump in my throat as I realise he's been through this. He's been shot and li
ved to tell the tale . . . Just like me.
"What happened?" I ask, quietly breaking the silence between us. He opens his mouth to respond but instead the sound of the door opening stops him.
Jake stands in the doorway, his eyes fixated on the scene in front of him. Tobias immediately let go of my hand and it drops to my side from the sudden release. He takes a step back, holding his hands up in the air. I watch as his eyes widen and he turns towards Jake —
"It's not what it seems, I swear."
My head turned to see Jake rooted to the spot, fists clenching and unclenching on either side of his body. His eyes had turned completely dark, filled with fire. His face turned towards me as his chest rose heavily up and down and I shivered from the icy look he threw my way.
He looked murderous, ready to charge any second. I felt my hands begin to shake as I watched his head slowly turn back towards Tobias, his lips curling up into a hateful sneer.
"What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Doing?"
His words were cold and full of hate and I stopped breathing as every hair stood up on my body. I opened my mouth to speak but no sound came out due to how frightened I was. I had never seen Jake look so murderous, so evil.
"It's not what it looks like, let him explain" I managed to croak out and Jake's head snapped towards me, eyes burning brightly.
"It's not what it looked like, is it? What it looked like was my cousin trying it on with you and you weren't resisting either!" He snapped at me, his voice rising threateningly. I retreated backwards, completely taken aback at his harsh words. His head snapped towards Tobias who was stood rooted to the spot, shirtless.
"You said you wouldn't do this again Tobias! You promised me!" He yells, charging towards him. I immediately run in front of Tobias, ignoring the pain that flares up in my stomach. Everything happens in slow motion as I watch his fist fly out, so much force put into it that his own hand shakes from the strain.
My eyes shut tightly as his fist comes hurtling towards me and I brace myself for the impact, knowing it would sting like hell.
Moments pass and nothing happens . . .
Maybe I'm dead and can't feel any pain.
My eyes open slowly as I breathe erratically. Jake stands in front of me, so close that our faces are almost touching. His eyes are wide and his fists are by his sides, shaking uncontrollably. I feel my heart crumble at the pain in his face, his eyes full of vulnerability. I watch as they fill up with tears and I lift my hand, cupping his cheeks.
"It wasn't like that, I swear to you." I breathe out. He doesn't respond, a glazed over expression on his face.
"Tobias, get out." I tell him firmly. He doesn't hesitate before leaving, holding his shirt in his hands. I take hold of Jake's shaking hands and pull him towards the bed. His face remains emotionless, cold as stone. I have to force him to sit, pushing down on his shoulders before taking a seat next to him myself.
"I almost hit you." He whispers, his voice trembling.
"But you didn't."
"Why did you stand in his way?"
"Because you promised me you'd listen before reacting! I don't want you hurting Tobias for no reason, he doesn't deserve it."
"How can you possibly explain what I saw?"
"Why don't you give me the chance to explain first?" I ask him sternly. He breathes in deeply, pushing himself backwards on the bed until his back hits the wall. He pulls his knees up to his chest, his head hanging low. "Go on."
"He was showing me his scar on his chest. The one he got from being shot. I'm scared Jake . . . I can't stop thinking about what Jones did. I've never felt more alone with what I'm dealing with mentally. I'll have to live with this for the rest of my life." I tell him, lifting my top up to show him the freshly dressed wound.
"It felt so good to know he had gone through the same thing! That someone knows how I'm feeling. He gave me hope that I can also get through this."
I lie down onto the bed in defeat and shut my eyes tightly, wishing all the heartache and pain would disappear. I ached for my parent's love and support, especially now. I want a life where I have a loving father and mother with no fear, no secrets.
Moments of silence pass, the only sound in the room of the steady beeps of the machines. I feel Jake's hand on my back and realise he finally understood, he believes me.
"I'm sorry Emily," he whispers, lying beside me and pulling me towards him.
"He's done it before, I don't trust him at all." Jake adds and I sit up, looking into his eyes which are filled with sadness.
"He's done what?"
"He slept with my girlfriend."
Suddenly the hatred Jake has towards Tobias becomes clear. The way he became so much more possessive when Tobias was in the room. The way he reacted when he'd seen him shirtless in front of me. The little remarks Tobias would throw towards Jake.
Tobias slept with Jake's girlfriend.
"He did what?" I eventually say, completely shocked. I figured out Tobias had betrayed Jake's trust over Violet somehow, I just didn't expect him to have taken it so far. Jake pulls me closer to him, nestling me in between his legs. I take hold of his hand, providing him with the support he needs to open up to me.
"You can talk to me Jake." I remind him and he nods, taking in a deep breath before starting.
Chapter Forty Four - Ex’s.
"Her name was Violet, I met her in the last year of school." Jake begins, his mouth fixed in a thin line.
"She was more than a fling, I really liked her, you know? I'd only ever sleep with girls before her," he coughs awkwardly, glancing at me to watch my reaction. I give him a small smile and motion for him to continue.
"She'd just moved from down south. This one guy was pestering her all the time, he wouldn't leave her alone. So I stepped in, scared him away and ever since then, we just clicked. We were together for a couple of months, I took her home one day to show her off to Mum. She was the only girl before you who'd met Mum and Aunty Myra. . . Mum didn't like her at all."
"Why not?" I ask him.
"Mum just didn't like her from the very first day of meeting her. I think she knew what she was really like, even before I did. Violet got along with Ivory too. . . and Tobias." He says bitterly, jaw clenching with frustration.
"She was closer to Tobias than Ivory. I shrugged it off thinking they were just friends. I'd often find them alone in his room playing on his Xbox together and they'd giggle all the time, like they had an inside joke or something. It happened at a New Years Eve party, I invited her round but she barely spent five minutes with me. She was hanging around Tobias like a bad smell the whole night, giggling away at him like a little schoolgirl. It was starting to annoy me and Tobias knew it was, he knew me better than anyone. So a couple of hours passes and there's no sign of Tobias or Violet anywhere. I wanted to give her a kiss as the countdown began so I begin searching for her. I check every single room besides his, why would she be in his room, you know? I had this bad feeling all night and I decided to go confront Tobias over it, he had pissed me off so I went to search for him. The first place I checked for him was his room, I open the door and I could hear the countdown downstairs. . . Three, two, one" Jake adds, his voice full of hatred the closer he gets to the end of his story.
"Everyone starts cheering and I just stand there, staring at them. He's lying on his bed, jeans round his ankles. She's sat on top of him, riding him like a horse. I'd never been as angry as I was in that moment, I saw red Muffin." Jake explains, his eyes burning with a freshly lit flame.
"She didn't even realise I was watching her until Tobias' head turns and he sees me standing there. He pushed her off him and that's when she finally noticed me in the room. I'll never forget the image of her ontop of him my whole life. I cant even look at Tobias since that day, he makes me sick." Jake adds, a look of hurt flashing through his eyes. I grab his hand in mine and bought it up to my lips, placing a gentle kiss on his knuckles.
"She begged and pleaded with me days after to take her back and s
aid it was a mistake. I couldn't look her in the eyes either . . . every time I did, all I could see was her on top of my cousin. She eventually moved back home and I haven't seen her since." Jake finally finishes, looking up at me.
I nod slowly because finally . . . Everything made sense. The anger towards Tobias, the random outbursts, the walls that Jake built up around me. It all made sense. He'd been hurt and betrayed in the past leading up to his insecurity. I take hold of his hand, breathing in a sharp breath.
"I'm sorry that happened to you. You didn't deserve that Jake, nobody deserves that. I understand now and I want to remind you that nothing will ever happen between Tobias and I. It was completely harmless and innocent, he was just showing me his scar." I explain quietly, my thumb gently stroking over the skin of his knuckles. When he doesn't respond, I take it as my cue to continue and confess my feelings —
"I love you Jake, like really love you. I'm excited to wake up and see you and I want you to be the last person I see at night. When you're not around me, it's like my right arm or leg is missing. There's a constant feeling of yearning and I know it's because you're not next to me. I didn't realise I'd fall so fast and hard but the truth is, I did. I don't see us as a fling. . . I see a future with you. Nobody makes me feel more loved than you do. I love you Jake Melvin, that's never going to change." I tell him firmly, my breathing shaking at the end. I suddenly feel vulnerable, exposed of all of my true feelings for him.
I shouldn't have had any reason to worry because just like a true gentlemen, Jake reacts perfectly. He reaches up and lightly lifts my chin up until I meet with his beautiful blue eyes. Eyes that are filled with nothing but pure adoration and love. I've never seen him look so . . . soft and content.
"And I love you, Emily. I don't think you'll ever understand how special you are to me but I'll be damned if I don't try and show you for the rest of our lives. You're the one, I know it. My heart tells me that this feels right."
His Mission (HIS SERIES Book 1) Page 27
