by Louise Bay
I pulled on my t-shirt and grabbed my phone from my jeans pocket. “I’ve gotta go. Thanks for getting me down in one piece. My mother’s grateful.”
I shook Michael’s hand and headed out to the car, dialing Rob as I went. “I’ve just come up with a crazy theory that I need you to talk me out of,” I said as he answered.
“Has anyone successfully talked you out of anything in your life?”
“Probably not, so I need you to up your game. Are you around tonight?” I asked. “I thought I’d come over.”
“Let’s go out. Abigail and I just had a row. We need a night off from each other. I’ll get Truly to come around to be with Abigail, and I can be your wingman for the evening.”
I wasn’t interested in going out but being somewhere where Truly and her sister weren’t when I floated my theory to Rob was for the best. I’d known for a while that my feelings for Truly were different to what I normally felt, that she was special. But something was holding me back from telling her, saying that I wanted more than casual sex.
Maybe today I’d found the reason. Perhaps subconsciously, I’d always felt that women were just another challenge, but I didn’t want her to be just a higher mountain to climb, simply a more-compelling challenge that I’d move on from when I conquered it. I wanted to be better than that. She deserved more than that. And my friendships with her, Rob, and Abigail would never recover if that’s where I ended up.
I didn’t want to be right but if I was, I should put a stop to sex with Truly. Steer our relationship onto more solid ground where I wouldn’t be tempted to see her as something to be conquered.
THIRTY
Noah
We walked through the door of the Crown and Horses just before eight and grabbed a table by the fire. I knew Rob hadn’t been here since Abigail’s collapse. “How’s Abi?” I asked.
“She said she was sick of my face. Of course, that may have been a result of my pointing out that her feet appeared to have doubled in size.”
I tried to contain my grin. Now it made sense why he’d suggested coming out tonight.
“In other words, everything’s fine.” Rob shrugged.
The waitress came over. “Can we get a bottle of the pinot noir?” I said. “And a couple of menus.”
The fact that Abigail and Rob weren’t divorced by now showed how perfect they were for each other. “Being in bed all this time . . .” I paused. My accident wasn’t the same, but I could relate in some ways. “It’s tough on her.”
“On both of us.” Rob chuckled.
“Excuse me,” a pretty, petite blonde approached our table. “My friends and I”—she looked over her shoulder at a group of girls by the bar who were staring back at us—“were wondering if you’d like to join us. You’re looking a little lonely.”
“Thanks for the offer, but we’re good at the moment,” I said.
She pouted, looking at me from under her very long lashes. “Well, that’s a shame. But if you want to hang out later, you know, one-on-one, give me a call.” She slipped a piece of paper into my hand.
I took it because I didn’t want to be rude, but there was no way I was calling her. Why would I bother when the alternative was guaranteed great sex with a woman who was one of my best friends? The same woman who’d been taking up more of my thoughts, more of my brain, than any woman ever had. I wasn’t sure how I was going to walk away if Rob confirmed this theory of mine.
“Hey, what’s up with you? That girl was gorgeous and offering it up on a plate. You should go over. Someone should be having some fun around here.”
I shrugged. No woman in here could make me laugh the way Truly did. Certainly no one could make a Stranger Things t-shirt look as good. “I have plenty of fun.”
“You do? What happened to that girl who went cold on you? All I’ve heard about lately is epidural stimulation, kung fu, and the foundation.”
“She warmed up,” I said.
“So you decided not to make a move on Truly, then?”
I took a swig out of my beer and avoided eye contact with Rob. “I don’t want to fuck up our friendship or things with you and Abigail.”
“Yeah, sex makes things complicated.”
Sex with Truly hadn’t made things that complicated at all. There’d been the brunch issue, but that had passed. No, sex had made things better. Going back to things being platonic between us didn’t seem possible. But at the same time, there wouldn’t be any choice if Rob confirmed my theory. It was just difficult for me to imagine a time when I would want to stop getting naked with her.
“Condoms stop it from getting too complicated,” I replied.
Rob groaned. “Don’t remind me. Complicated and boring. You realize that all I’m going to be able to talk about from now on is my kid? Plus I’m going to smell of vomit.”
“All you talk about now is Arsenal and Abigail, so you actually might be more interesting.”
“I doubt it.” He sighed and knocked his beer against mine. “Anyway, we’re here to talk about you, and I can’t help thinking this theory that you want talking out of is connected to why you’re turning down pretty blondes. Am I right?”
I blew out a breath. Now that I was here, I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear what he had to say. If he confirmed my suspicion, I’d have to take action—I’d have to end things with Truly.
“Come on, spit it out.”
The thing was, Truly deserved to be let go if I was right. “I’m not just some guy who sees women as a challenge, am I?”
He didn’t answer straightaway. “Rob, did you hear what I said?” My jaw tensed as I waited for him to respond.
“Jesus, yes. Keep your knickers on. I’m thinking.”
“What do you need to think about? It’s a simple question.”
“I don’t think you’re the guy who sees the most gorgeous girl in the room and goes after her and doesn’t stop until he fucks her. No. We’ve just seen that,” he said, nodding his head at the girl who’d given me her number.
Good, he disagreed. I’d put my new theory about myself down to lack of oxygen after the jump. “Exactly. Bernard was like that at uni.”
“Yeah, that guy was a dickhead. But . . .” Rob continued.
“I don’t think there’s any need for a but. I rarely chase after a woman. I’m not out just to get laid.”
“I think there’s a but. If you look at what drives you, it’s all about the challenge. You liked to be told you can’t do something and yet find a way to get it done. I mean, Christ, weren’t you dropping to near-certain death earlier today with just some shards of silk attached to your back?”
“It’s called skydiving, and I’m not the first guy to like extreme sports, so shoot me.” I knew I shouldn’t have asked him. If I’d kept my theory to myself, I’d have been able to keep sleeping with Truly.
“But you like the challenge. You get off on the high of having conquered something. In business as well as sport.”
“Agreed. But if that applied to my sex life, wouldn’t I be out fucking every woman that moved? Conquering as many as I could?” My heart sank into my stomach. He was about to put the final nail in Truly’s and my coffin.
“I don’t think you conquer women. I think the women you’re with fit with you. They’re just convenient sex. They don’t seem to matter to you.”
I liked that he wasn’t confirming my theory, but I wasn’t sure I particularly enjoyed the alternative he presented. “I’m not a dickhead. I don’t pretend that it’s serious with them or anything, or that I have feelings for them that I don’t.”
“That’s not what I mean. I’m just saying, they’re not integral to your life. Like you don’t seem to share stuff with them or really befriend them, if you know what I mean. The ones I’ve met don’t seem to know you that well.”
That was definitely the difference between all the other women and Truly. Truly knew me. I knew her. We shared stuff. But of course we did, we were friends. Good friends. “Yeah, I think you’re pr
obably right. I always have so much going on that whoever I’m with only has a small part to fill.”
“Honestly, I think you just haven’t met the right girl yet.”
I rolled my eyes. “Thanks, Dr. Freud. Insightful.”
“I know it sounds clichéd but that doesn’t mean it’s not true. I think when you’re with the right woman, it will be different. You’ll start organizing your life so she’s at the center rather than slotting her in for a quick shag here and there. You’ll want to see her. Want to spend non-naked time with her. She’ll be your best friend.”
Like Truly.
“If friendship is the only criteria, you and I should have started fucking a long time ago.”
“As handsome as you are, my friend, I just don’t have the urge to see you naked. It’s not just friendship. It’s chemistry. When you know, you know. It’s tough for Abigail and me at the moment but it’s just a rough patch. Generally, marriage is pretty great. Getting to hang out with your best friend all the time—I mean, she’s a hormonal mess at the moment, but I love her. I still want to tell her every thought in my head and wake up to her stuffy nose every morning.”
Was that what love was? Wanting to tell someone everything? I felt that way about Truly but that didn’t mean a full-blown relationship with her would be successful. “Yeah, you and Abigail are great together but not everyone gets to have what you have.”
“You just need to be open to finding someone who’s going to be more than convenient sex,” Rob said. “The marriage thing isn’t important—you don’t need a piece of paper. But don’t you want to find someone to build a future with? Share everything with? Don’t you want more than your usual three-month cycle?”
The ground underneath me was shifting, and I wasn’t sure what I wanted. Every time I left Truly, I couldn’t wait to see her again, and I’d never felt like that about anyone. She was the only one I wanted to share the ins and outs of my day with. She was beautiful, funny, insightful, and challenging. There was nothing like the feeling when I made her laugh or captured her rapt attention with whatever I was saying. She was my favorite person.
I checked the time on my phone. It would be too late to go over to Truly’s this evening smelling of booze, but I couldn’t help but grin at the thought of her bedhead and rumpled t-shirt, the way she’d be warm and heavy with sleep, and how she fit so perfectly against my body. How we’d have slow, intensely perfect sex and then we’d talk about everything and nothing before she fell asleep mid-sentence. I couldn’t think of anything better, and I couldn’t imagine a time I’d want anyone else but her.
Maybe Rob was right. Perhaps I’d just found the right woman in Truly, but how the fuck did I know for sure? How in the hell did I test Rob’s theory without either being told by Truly that she didn’t want anything more than casual sex with me or fucking up with her, getting it wrong, and blowing apart years’ worth of friendships?
THIRTY-ONE
Noah
“I’m downstairs,” Truly said from the other end of the phone. “I just need you to hear me out because I’ve made quite a few changes. It will take twenty minutes, maximum, I promise. And I’ll owe you.” She’d been freaking out about an upcoming presentation for a week, so even though she didn’t give me an explanation, I’d bet money that’s what she was here to talk about.
I glanced up at Edward, who I’d just hired as my head of development. At twenty-six, he was young, but had a solid background in healthcare, and the more I looked into it, thought about it, talked about it, the more that was the direction I was headed.
“It’s fine. Come on up. We’re on the eighth floor.”
She canceled the call without saying goodbye the way she did when she was in a hurry, and I grinned, pleased that filling in for Abigail hadn’t turned her into a different version of herself when she was around me.
“I have to take this meeting, but if you can find a way through to the CEO of Wayford Pharmaceuticals, then the next step is to set up a meeting.”
“Sure, and in the meantime, I can work with the lawyers to find out the best way to structure a partnership.” Edward gathered his papers and stood.
There wasn’t any gap between her knock at the door and Truly bursting into my office. “Oh God,” she said, looking at Edward. “The girl back there said to come right in. I didn’t realize you were in the middle—”
“It’s totally fine. Edward and I were just finishing up.” I glanced at him and found his cheeks flushed and his gaze pinned on Truly.
Yeah, I knew that feeling.
“Hi,” Truly said, holding out her hand. “I’m Truly. Noah’s helping me out with a presentation.”
Her explanation irked me. That was how she chose to introduce herself to a third party? As someone who needed my help? Not a friend, at least?
“Hi,” Edward said, shaking her hand a little too vigorously. “I’m the new head of development,” he muttered.
“Excellent. Developing what, exactly?” Truly asked.
Edward shot me a glance.
“We’re looking at some healthcare stuff, maybe spinal injuries,” I said. She turned to me, her expression a sucker punch to my chest. She was excited, happy.
For me.
“That’s awesome.” She stepped toward me as if she were going to give me a hug, then stopped herself. “It sounds like you’re at an exciting stage.”
Edward was still blushing and couldn’t take his eyes off Truly even for a second. He needed to leave.
“Edward, I’ll catch up with you later,” I said. Truly was beautiful, there was no doubt about it, but he would trip over his own tongue if he wasn’t careful.
As if he’d woken up from a Truly-induced trance, Edward flinched. “Yes, okay. See you later. It was very nice to meet you, Truly.”
She glanced over her shoulder at him as she unpacked her bag. “You too. Good luck.” She had no clue that he was completely captivated by her, which was one of the reasons she was so completely captivating in the first place.
“Hey,” I said, taking a seat.
She glanced up as if she’d misheard me. “Hi?” she asked.
“I’ve not seen you for a few days.”
She paused and pressed her lips together. “You don’t mind me dropping in like this, do you? It’s just that the meeting is this afternoon, and I can use our original new donor presentation, but this donor could be huge. I mean—” She held her arms out wide in front of her. “A really big fish. I’ve done some research, and it turns out he’s a real numbers man, so I changed up the presentation to reflect that.”
I leaned back in my chair, taking in her passion and confidence.
“What?” she asked, grinning at me.
“You look beautiful. It’s weird not having seen you for a few days.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m sure you had plenty to keep you busy. There’s a busty blonde sitting right outside your office.”
Did she think I was dating other people when I wasn’t with her? She’d said she didn’t want to hear about it if I did date, but I’d thought it was sort of obvious I wasn’t seeing anyone else.
“Come to mine tonight,” I said, ignoring her comment.
She held up her presentation. “I need you to go through this with me.”
“I know. But come round tonight.”
“What if I have plans?” she asked.
Normally, to anyone else, I would have said, No problem, if you have plans, we’ll do it another night. Because I wouldn’t care enough. “Change them,” I said.
Her eyes widened, then her face softened into a smile as she shook her head. “Maybe. Let’s go through this, okay?”
“I’m taking that as a yes.” I tucked my chair under my desk and leaned forward, giving her my full attention. “Show me what you’ve changed.”
She handed me a presentation pack, and we got down to business. She’d changed up a big chunk of the middle in favor of going into much more detail about how the foundation sp
ent its money and measured success. The way she’d presented it was smart and clear. Someone without financial experience could understand it, and someone with financial experience would get more detail and depth.
“And if he wants the underlying numbers for these figures?” I skimmed my fingers down the far right-hand column on the table.
She handed me a printout. “I can go as technical as he wants. I’m just worried because Abigail always told me I was way too detail oriented and didn’t focus enough on the big picture.”
“But from what you said this guy likes detail.”
“Right. And they are very choosy about where they donate their money.”
“Probably because so many of these nonprofits are flaky on detail.”
She grinned. “Exactly what I’m hoping.”
“Truly, do you realize how far you’ve come in just a few short months? You’re doing an amazing job. Two people’s jobs, in fact.”
She nodded, closing the presentation and tapping her fingers against the paper. “Yeah. I didn’t make these changes to make myself comfortable. It’s what I think the donor will want to see.”
“Exactly. You’re killing it. Shall I cook tonight to celebrate?”
“I don’t want to celebrate until it’s a done deal. I’m doing okay, but I’m still no Abi.”
“No. You’re right, she wouldn’t have changed the presentation,” I said, standing and moving round the desk, needing her physical reassurance. “You’ve made it better. You have to see that.”
A blush dusted her cheeks as she stood and began packing up her bag. I wasn’t trying to hurry her off. I just wanted to be closer to her. I leaned against the mahogany and circled my arms around her waist, wanting her close. She twisted away from me.
“Hey, stop that.”
“Why? I’ve not seen you for days.” This woman. So soft, warm, and serious. Why was she blowing me off?
“Yeah, but this isn’t what we do.” She took half a step away from me as she zipped her bag and slung it over her shoulder. “I’ll see you later.” She paused, her eyelids flickering like she was thinking through the pros and cons of something. “Yours sounds like a good idea, actually. And don’t cook. We can get food delivered.”
