“What are you thinking?” I was curious, because her thought process was so different from mine. So unless she was thinking about sex, it would be different again.
“I was thinking...it’s hard to believe I didn’t notice you at the coffeehouse before, because I can’t seem to not notice you now. All I do is stare at you.” I adored her answer, as always.
“I like it,” I said, biting her ear as my eager hand inched down to her suede-soft pussy. I told myself no, not here, and growled as I reluctantly pulled my hand away again.
“I am so glad you brought me here,” I whispered, and rested my face in the crook of her neck.
She was quiet, and then she started telling me about the significance of this place. This was the place she disappeared to after the rape. She continued to tell me it was her grandfather who sent people to find her. She was here for two days. I didn’t even think that was possible for someone as tiny as Katarina to survive without food and water for that long. She was meant to live. There was a reason. She was so open with her story that when she questioned me about something Bettina said, I felt the need to open up as well.
I told her about Jacy, curious if any of the forever-talk, or the fact that she died spurred any memory for her, but she just listened. I told her how Jacy and I went to the same church as kids, and that she was the prettiest girl I had ever seen. I finished by telling her about the love of my life dying. She was very sympathetic and apologized for my loss. It should have been awkward telling her about my past love, but it wasn’t. It made me feel…lighter, accepting of her love.
I held her for a long while and watched the waterfall in the distance. She took some pictures of the waterfall, and more of Bo. It was the perfect day and I was desperate for it to last. I was the first to get up, and I grabbed her hand and helped her off the large boulder. Bo led us back to the trail, and I watched her damp, white shorts shift as she hiked up the hill. Just knowing there were no panties under those thin shorts was enough to have me groaning half the way up the hill.
“So, I know you don’t like fancy food. What other kinds of food don’t you like?”
She glanced back and flashed me an adorable smile, and then it was I who almost tripped. “I don’t like sunflower seeds, or any kind of nuts.” She giggled after she said it, and I knew immediately where her mind went. I chuckled at the thought. “How about you?”
“I don’t like soft cheeses, any kind. How about places, anywhere you wouldn’t want to travel?” She was quiet, and I watched her ass scale the mountain, making me forgot about my question.
“I don’t really have a place I wouldn’t travel, but nothing really excites me.”
“How about things that you absolutely hate? What would be a deal-breaker for any man?”
She processed my words as she huffed up the hill.
“Those metal scrotums that some guys hang from underneath their really big trucks. If you had one of those, it would be over.” She turned and I smiled. “They’re really gross.”
She was silent as we hiked, and then she spoke up again. “And lying. I can’t stand lying. People always made me lie, or lied to me, and I can’t stand it.” Wait, what? Made her lie? We were reaching the parking lot and she waited for me to walk side-by-side.
“A person close to my grandfather lied to me. He knew my grandfather was very ill for a year-and-a-half and never told me. I would have changed my priorities. I would have spent every minute with my grandfather if I knew. Smith knew, and he withheld that information. He said he was trying to protect me. Later, after my grandfather died, Smith asked me not to leave, but honestly, I don’t care if I ever see him again. So, lying is my answer.”
I suddenly felt like it was very hard to breathe. I ran my fingers through my hair, knowing what I did early on was the deal-breaker she was talking about. “Smith? What kind of name is that anyway?” She glanced at me like it didn’t matter. The look of pure confusion made me feel like she could read right through me.
“Smith is not his name, Jason. It’s just what I called him.”
“Maybe your grandfather didn’t want you to know. Maybe he knew that the circumstances were already in play, and by telling you, it wouldn’t make it go away. It would only have you dreading every day until it happened.” I knew I was grasping at straws, but this Smith person didn’t seem like a bad guy. I mean, it’s not like he got her pregnant without her permission or anything.
“No, Jason, a lie is a lie, and for me, it was a deal-breaker.”
That was it. My life fast-forwarded after that. I waited every day for her to find out what I did. I tried to enjoy every slipping second, but it was a foggy dream.
Chapter Twenty-Two
I went about the next seven days in a complete fog, falling more in love with Katarina, molding her into my perfect, sweet submissive. I continued to push her boundaries and make my mark on every inch of her, but I lacked the ability to savor, to commit everything to memory. I tried bowing my head and thanking God, the universe, and all the angels on my side, but I had crossed a line and was suddenly abandoned. I was left to play out my ultimate demise. When Jacy died, five years disappeared, vanished. I was headed down the same road.
Saturday, an entire six days later, while I was buried deep inside my princess, my world stopped again. Her words made my world slow, and everything was once again in focus, real slow motion, focus.
“I love you.” Her voice and eyes gave me that glimmer of hope, and my world slammed to a stop. I couldn’t speak back; my tongue was tied. She had no idea how much I craved to hear those words. I leaned in close, smelling her scent I loved so much. Her legs rested at my shoulders, and I knew she must be uncomfortable, but as I slowly pumped her, I was immobile from that spot. A rush of emotions flooded through me. There was always a constant rage. Her defiance was something I continued to look past for the sake of normalcy, but I was growing tired of brushing it off. I also felt the overwhelming urge to please her, to make her love me more. It was a constant battle in my head. I began to pound her hard, letting my rage and pure lust take over. Her pussy started to grip onto my cock, and her body began to tense, and I pulled out of her. I moved down her body, breathing every inch of her in, kissing her inner thigh until I reached the sweet spot between her legs. I glanced at the swollen area, and from this angle, it resembled a swollen heart. I moved my mouth over her clit, running my tongue through the smooth, silky slit. Fuck, her taste was the sweetest nectar. My tongue sought the source and plunged inside her, taking in as much of her taste as possible. I circled back up to her enlarged nub and began my torture.
“Strawberries, just like fucking strawberries.” I continued my slow play, keeping her teetering on the verge of orgasming. In this moment, I owned her body. She would do anything for me, be anyone I needed her to be. My mouth hovered over her bare pussy. My breath caused her muscles to contract. She was so close. Her fingers twisted in my hair, and I knew what she wanted, and now was my time to tease her. All day she had teased me—in and out of the furniture store, and then the electronics store, and then in front of the Chinese food place; I suffered, and now it was her turn. I blew a warm stream of air over her clit and saw another muscle contraction.
“Not yet,” I teased, “we’re going to come together.” I stood and hovered over her again, grabbing her bent knees and spreading them wide, forcing them towards the mattress. Then I fucked her, watching her boobs jump with each powerful thrust. The sounds of slapping skin and groaning filled the air, her scent mixing with my smell surrounding me. It was all too much. I couldn’t get enough of her. Everything felt so good. I moved faster until I reached the point of no return, and I impaled her once more, spilling my hot juices. Her muffled moans followed, and then I felt her snug canal grip around me in a series of spasms. It was pure ecstasy. I yelled curse words loudly, almost surprising myself.
I eased my eyes open to see the most beautiful creature lying before me. Her peaceful, happy smile made me feel confident in us,
in myself. She would never get over what we had. The look in her eyes told me I still owned her, my sweet princess. I pulled out slowly, her eyes never leaving my body as I walked proudly to the bathroom. I tossed the condom in the trash, washed my face and hands, stepped into the closet to grab some new clothes, and slipped them on. I approached Katarina, who was still sprawled out on the bed. It gave me so much delight to know that her ability to recover from our crazy sex had slowed. I knew she didn’t feel pain like most women did, but to see her body too weak to move gave me a cocky amount of confidence. She was nervously fidgeting, smoothing her skirt down her thighs. I never took her skirt off. I liked seeing it on her while I fucked her, but now it was covering her, and I didn’t like that she was using it to protect herself from me.
“Tired?” I gave her a self-gratified, smug smile.
“No, just catching my breath.” She continued breathing heavily. Her tongue shot out, and she very slowly licked her lips and then bit the bottom one. And just like that, I felt my penis spring to life. Her breasts squeezed together as she continued to smooth her skirt, and I wanted to play with her tiny, hard nipples. Mine to love. Her voice sounded slightly insecure as she said, “You are my favorite person, you know.”
And I returned my gaze to hers in an attempt to calm her, like she had calmed me so many times before. “I am honored,” I said, and they were the most honest words I had ever spoken. I hated to leave, but someone had knocked on the bedroom door while Katarina and I were getting it on. So I needed to go downstairs and check out who was here. But I knew she still needed something from me. I could sense it. What I should have done was crawl back into bed and hold my beautiful, insecure, scared little rabbit until she felt the same confidence I felt. I leaned over and kissed her lovingly, tenderly, nonverbally sending her a message communicating how much I returned her feelings.
“I am going to see who’s here. Take your time.” I had to pull myself away from our strong connection. I was so thankful for my once-again clear vision, and the ability to slowly savor images of us together because of her loving words.
I was quickly down the stairs. My new plan was to get rid of everyone and spend the rest of my night with my beautiful girl in my arms. When I escaped with Katarina upstairs, Dave was here with his girl. He had come over and helped me unload my new furniture that Katarina and I had picked out today. Dave had knocked on the bedroom door while I was just about to mount her, murmuring through the door to me that someone else was here. I entered the living room, and my breath hitched at the sight of Jenny. It was like seeing a ghost. She was dressed identically to the way Jacy used to, in cowboy boots and tight jeans, with a button up, feminine flannel shirt that opened up to reveal a red tank top underneath. Her brown hair was styled the exact same way too, long and straight with her bangs tucked behind her ears. As I got closer, I noticed she even smelled like Jacy. I tore my eyes away from her to look at Dave, and he held an expression identical to mine. WTF? Dave spoke first. “I uh…she uh…I told her you were indisposed, but she wanted to wait.” Jenny made a beeline for me and wrapped her arms around me.
“I knew you would want to be there when Jacy’s baby horse had her first foal, so I came to get you. She is due any time. You said we could hang out, and I thought this would be the perfect time.” She let go of her tight hold around my middle and looked up at me. Her big, brown eyes gave me a moment of déjà vu. I sidestepped around her, stunned at her fucked up timing. I took a seat on my new sofa and she sat right next to me, so closely that the side of her body pressed against me. I ran my hand through my hair. Dave could sense my distress.
“So, Jenny told us that she is going to vet school. She said you were her inspiration. She also told us while you were upstairs that she is moving back, hoping to establish an internship at your practice.” I looked at him as he warned me of her plans to seep herself into my life.
“That’s very flattering, Jenny, but the thing is…” I looked up and saw Katarina’s questioning eyes as she padded into the room. I jumped up, hurrying to her side. Her eyes remained focused on Jenny. She was thinking, and I hated it. I laced my fingers through hers so she wouldn’t feel like the odd man out.
“This is Jenny. She’s an old friend. Her sister’s horse is having a baby, and she wants me to go and check to make sure everything’s okay.” An old friend? Shit. I could almost read her thoughts. The only old friends Katarina knew about were in relation to the club, or girls I had been intimate with. She glanced at me, and I could see the blank look in her eyes. She had the best poker face.
“You should go…sounds like your veterinary skills are needed. I’ll be here when you get back.” She sent me a quick smile, and then her empty blues glanced back to Jenny, trying to figure out the relationship. I bent down to kiss her, dying for the intense spark we’d had just minutes earlier, but she dodged my kiss, placing her cheek in my way. She peered up at me without expression, and I wondered how she could tell me she loved me and not fight for me. I was getting whiplash from her mixed signals. It was clear to everyone why Jenny was here, but Katarina was all but chasing me away.
“You guys can stay and watch a movie if you want.” What the hell? My temper boiled under the surface. She was blowing me off. I stalked to the kitchen, grabbed my keys, and returned to her side. Maybe I am asking too much. If I gave her another option, she would tell Jenny she needed me to stay. She would fight for me.
“Are you sure? I can stay and go in the morning. If I go, I want you to be here when I come home.” I weaved my fingers through hers and she started walking toward the front door, my feet following suit. She gave me a slight shrug, but didn’t say anything. Jenny bounced in front of us, and I incoherently walked to my Jeep.
Jenny climbed into her Toyota Camry and took off down the driveway. I sat there stunned, mad, and feeling like I lost complete control.
“Fuck!” I yelled as I slammed my hands on the steering wheel. I got back out of my Jeep and walked back into the quiet house. Katarina was curled up on the smaller sofa, and my heart broke at the sight. Why didn’t she ask me to stay? Why didn’t she tell Jenny to take a flying leap? Wasn’t that what normal girls did when someone threatened to interfere with their love? Dave and Sofiia snuggled together on the other sofa, but all I kept looking at was Katarina. I wasn’t sure she would ever fight for me. If given a choice, she would withdraw from me rather than fight for what we had. I turned to sneak back out to my Jeep. I didn’t drive to Jenny’s though; I had some built-up aggression I needed to take care of.
I hit the gym. I needed to punch something, kick the shit out of something. I was beginning to hate the pussy I was becoming. I punched the large training bag as I scolded myself. I had changed for her, and her indifference to me leaving with another woman stirred feelings of self-doubt. I kicked the heavy bag, using all my strength and energy. She tempted me in every way, making me question what was truly important. I chose her, and ultimately, she told me she loved me and then pushed me away. I closed my eyes, catching my breath, picturing the look on her face when she let me leave with Jenny. She still had walls up…shielding herself from me. Feelings of anger and insecurity rocked through my body as I moved to the treadmill and took off in a sprint. My mind wouldn’t stop racing. Yesterday, everything had been foggy and rushed, but right now it was clear, and I still questioned all of it.
After an hour-and-a-half of working out, trying to take my aggressions out, I left the gym and headed towards Jenny’s pregnant horse.
I pulled in front of the Ronalds’ barn, and all I could see was Jacy’s teenaged, smiling face. She was so strong, knew what she wanted, and would tell me straight if something bugged her. Jacy had never taken shit from anyone, including me. I slammed the Jeep door shut as I trudged towards the barn door. Jenny was there to greet me with a huge, welcoming smile playing on her lips.
“I thought you changed your mind.” I brushed past her and walked toward the horse lying in the hay. She had the equipment out, and i
t was clear she was documenting everything. I picked up her paperwork as she peered over my shoulder. It was irritating. I needed space, and her closeness was causing me to grow agitated again.
“How does she look?” Her voice was squeaky. She was nervous.
“Well, since I am here, let me take a look.” I eased over to the sleeping mare, placed a stethoscope over her heart, moved lower to where the baby was inside her, and listened to the faster heartbeat. I felt around, and everything seemed to be normal. Fuck, I hated that word.
“She’s good, but it’s not going to happen tonight. I would say a couple days.” Her smile dropped. I moved to sidestep around her and she blocked me.
“Will you stay and talk with me?” I glanced into her big, brown eyes—Jacy’s eyes—and nodded my head.
I took a seat in the hay, and she followed my lead. She started talking about school and the horse, never letting a moment of silence slip in. I laughed when she told funny stories about interactions with animals, and gave advice when she asked. She seemed to have a lot of questions about the horse, and I answered every one of them. It was nice that we had so much in common. I think we could probably be good friends. She was cute, and had Jacy’s mannerisms, which I missed. I lay back in the hay, suddenly very tired. She lay next to me and continued to talk.
Mister Distraction (Distraction #2) Page 24
