by Sierra Cross
Matt stared at Alana, a tidal wave of emotions crashing around behind his eyes. Horror. Loss. Betrayal. Knowing him, I was sure guilt over having dragged us into this nightmare outweighed all his other emotions.
Letting loose a guttural roar, he spun and thundered headlong at Alana, throwing stars in hand. Alana raised her hand and sent her power through the barrier, giving him a magical shove. He was on the floor before the small blades could leave his fingers. Quickly Matt rolled and righted himself, flinging a half-dozen stars in rapid succession. Only to have to duck as the blades bounced off the barrier and flew back at him. With a look of grim determination, he charged at the shimmering barrier.
“No!” Alana screamed and her hand moved at a speed I’d only seen with Caedis, green magic glowing on her fingers. She pushed a tiny swipe of energy through the barrier—nothing close to the sear she’d inflicted on Asher—sending Matt sailing backward. Why wasn’t this Caedis using deadly force on Matt? Matt’s hulk of body slammed into me, knocking me over on top of him.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Her face had collapsed in a look of horror. “I was saving you…”
“Drop the concerned mother act.” With a dull thud, I rolled off Matt’s body onto the dusty wood floor. Matt moved as if he was testing his limbs, a grimace of pain on his face. “You don’t really care about him.”
“Matt, don’t do that again,” she said, ignoring me completely. “The force field is raw energy. I can’t have you hurting yourself. I can’t.”
“Gee, thanks.” Matt sat up, sucking in a pained breath.
“You set us up,” I seethed at Alana. We’ve been pawns for this entire escapade, from the very beginning. Her doe-eyed terror had just sucked us in. Damn it, I could hear Aunt Jenn now, railing about the soft hearts of light witches leading them to ruin. But why had she done it all? “How is this whole elaborate scheme going to get you more power? Isn’t that the only thing you Caedis live for?”
Asher was gazing at the Caedis, gears turning in his head despite the poison that was moving through his body. “You did this all to get to Matt, didn’t you?” He swallowed hard. “You really do have some abnormal obsession with him.”
“What’s abnormal about a mother’s love for her son?” She smiled warmly. Was it possible for a Caedis to be crazy? The others I’d met were logical to a fault, driven by the need to amass power. This one seemed to be led by emotions—emotions that weren’t even her own. Though she was able to control Alana’s witch magic, she didn’t seem able to ignore the feelings that lingered in the body. Did she really believe that Matt was her son? “Mind you, it was quite a risky move on my part. If you hadn’t so kindly rescued me, it would have been disastrous. But I knew my son would save me.”
“But he’s not your son,” I said. “You’ve never even met him. Why risk capture and death for a magicborn?”
A hurt look crossed her face. “He’s my son in every way that counts.” Alana turned and looked at Matt with a fantastic impersonation of a motherly gaze. Was it just the usual Caedis persuasion tactic, like I’d felt from Paul? Or was she really at the mercy of the emotions that remained in Alana’s body? “If I could have walked away I would have. The entire time you were in the Void, I thought about you every day. If I could have pulled you from its depths I would have—but I couldn’t risk them finding out about you, hurting you.”
“Hurting him?” I seethed. “You left him in a hell dimension. He was suffering the whole time.”
“But he was safe.” A smile danced across the Caedis’s face. “The day I felt you pulled from the Void, I was so grateful. Someone had freed you, without making you a target—as you would have been if I’d done it. I longed to see you, but contacting you was too dangerous. Then I heard through my sources you were about to turn yourself in. I couldn’t let you do that.”
My mind was reeling. So she’d come all the way to Barcelona to stop Matt from turning himself in, just like I had? I had done it for love. This demon came because, as far as I could tell, she was a twisted, loony head case. A prime example of why Caedis shouldn’t fuck with a mature witch’s body.
“That still doesn’t make you my mother.” Matt’s voice was full of quiet rage. “My mother is…gone.”
The Caedis let out a bittersweet laugh. “But is she? This body birthed you. These arms held you.” She paced in front of the dome. “Our elders always yammered on about witches’ bodies having intense emotions that were hard to purge. But the power in this body was just too hard to pass up. Yes, it came with a slew of emotions...but it gave me you.” As she spoke, her face scrunched repeatedly in an involuntary tick, as if this subject set her off. “And we can have what we both always longed for.”
Matt recoiled. “And what would that be?” Wait, was he actually interested in what this demon had to say?
“We can be a family. Alana’s emotions are so strong, so intricately woven in this body I can’t escape them. I may not technically be your mother, but I have her every memory of you. The joy at your birth. The devastating loss when I had to give you up, not claim you in the eyes of the world.” She stopped and looked him in the eyes. “The sadness still overwhelms me.”
“Uh, guys, I don’t think she’s fucking with us on this,” Asher said, pain making his voice raspy. It was obvious that his every muscle was screaming with pain. He turned to Matt, a sheen of sweat shining on his forehead and thoroughly soaking his shirt. “Crazy as it sounds, she feels like she’s your mother.”
“You killed my mother,” Matt said to the Caedis who was wearing his mother’s body. His voice was equal measures murder and pain.
“No! I didn’t inflict your mother’s injuries,” the Caedis said, smoothing her hand down the bodice of her dress. “Her body was beyond human ability to repair. Thanks to me being in the right place at the right time, you can still look into her eyes. Learn from her. Don’t you see? This is your chance to have the mother you’ve always wanted.”
“What?” Matt sprang to his feet and leaned dangerously close to the barrier. “She wasn’t dead?” His anger at the Caedis appeared to be swallowed by a sea of grief. I didn’t understand the shift in emotions. Then, without warning, a mask of stone covered his face—whatever emotions he was feeling were his and his alone.
“Don’t you see, you haven’t lost a thing,” she implored. “You can have all that was stolen from you as a child.”
Matt regarded her with a blank, cold face.
“I know you want this. I can feel it in the bond you have with this body.” Alana gave him a slow sad smile. “Your sadness is greater than your anger. The depth of how much you miss her is profound. If you come with me, I can show you so much. Give you the chance to know your mother. Give you a new identity, another chance at life…”
“How do I know you’re not lying about Alana’s memories?” Matt asked.
I didn’t know where Matt was going with this. I only knew that Asher had a finite amount of time left. Our warlock coughed and black bloody sputum dribbled down his chin. Trembling, he wiped his chin with his sleeve, looked at me and shrugged.
“I can show you.” Alana’s face took on an odd, nostalgic look. “You were seven,” she said. “The guardians thought it was time for your training to begin. You were scared and still such a small child, not nearly ready.” Her brown eyes were shiny with emotion. “Alana knew she was powerless to stop it. But on your last day as a carefree child, she took you to the river to fish. Held your hand even though you insisted you were too old—and you let her. She walked with you to the water’s edge and didn’t let go of your hand. Tears ran down your cheeks.” I knew the Caedis was telling the truth. There was a crack in the armor guarding Matt’s emotion as memories came back to him. “But she pretended not to see them. The two of you stood staring at the current until the sun set.” The Caedis’s voice was so full of sadness it’s overflowing, filling the room. “That memory has been cherished in my heart, always.”
“All right,” M
att said stoically. “I’ll go with you.”
He what?
Her eyes lit up and she raised her hand, green whips dancing on her fingertips, whispering a spell I couldn’t quite hear. I felt a tug at my pocket. One by one, my spellbeads were liberating themselves. Frantically my hand slapped at them, but they bobbed and weaved, course-correcting and sailing through the demon field to Alana’s open palm.
Alana checked the spellbeads in her hand and tucked all but one of them in her pocket. Whispering another spell, she tossed the bead to the stone floor. She and Matt disappeared in a cloud of smoke. As the smoke soared and dissipated, it danced through the glowing green barrier, looking like a nightclub’s laser light show.
I felt numb. Where did she take him? Would they be back before the poison had taken Asher? How could he leave us here? “I can’t believe he’d go anywhere with that thing.” He’d actually seemed open to what she was saying—but that had to be a ruse, right?
“It’s Matt,” Asher reminded me, sick sweat bleeding down the sides of his face. “He’s been trained by the guardians to hide his true emotions. He’s got some plan he’s working.”
Of course Asher was right. But we didn’t have much time here. His forehead felt like ice. The poison was wreaking havoc in his system. “What can I do for you?”
He tried to laugh, but coughed instead. “I’d say something lewd, but I don’t have the energy.” He gave a half-shrug. “Distract me. Talk.”
That I could do. And I wanted to distract myself as well. “So this Caedis wasn’t the one who killed Alana. Why did that make Matt angrier?” I asked.
“That’s not what the demon said.” Asher looked at me, pain in his grey eyes. “Alana wasn’t dead when the Caedis took her body.”
“I still don’t understand,” I said.
“Since Alana’s body didn’t die, her soul never finished moving on into the light,” Asher said, sounding like his throat was made of sandpaper. “The real Alana’s soul is trapped in the Void.”
“Well, that’s good, right?” I said hopefully. “We could bring her back. Matt survived it—”
“It’s not the same. Alana’s body was beyond repair. The only thing keeping it alive is Caedis magic. Without it, it’d go back to the same condition it was on the solstice. On the verge of death with no possibility of healing it. There’s no coming back from where Alana is.” Asher swallowed. “As painful as it was for Matt, his corporeal form was trapped in the Void with him. It tethered him, kept him grounded. Without her body, Alana must be adrift in an amorphous hell.”
No wonder Matt looked gutted. He’d gone from believing his mother was dead to daring to hope she was alive…to knowing she was in a realm of permanent suffering.
Asher’s eyelids were at half-mast. I was afraid if I let him slip into unconsciousness he’d never wake again. I had to keep him awake. “Okay. Tell me.” I mock-grimaced. “Where’s the weirdest place you had sex?”
Asher’s laugh was gravelly and pained but so genuine it brought a smile to my face. “Oh witch, how I’ve longed to tell you this story—”
I could hear him talking but his words started to sound thick and fuzzy. And then my vision dimmed. Shit. The coven bond was dragging me away once again. What had Liv done now?
I heard the sounds of many booted feet, felt my heart jackhammer in my chest. Then slowly my vision cleared. I wasn’t in Liv’s head. I was in Matt’s.
He was surrounded by two dozen gnarly Neqs, all holding green firebolts poised to throw at him. Behind them were more Neqs. I even felt the presence of dark witches, and some humans who I assumed were mages. The one thing they had in common was they all wore matching blood-red uniforms I’d never seen before.
Our guardian dropped to a crouch, daggers in hand. I felt the cool blue guardian magic that I knew was dancing on his skin. I also felt the warm golden magic that he held back, though it longed to come to the surface. And there was something else inside him, a dense nugget of power at his center that called to him, desperate to be released. Was this what Matt thought was evil? The core of power was compact, like he’d been pushing it down his whole life. It wasn’t raw and wild like my powers were at first. It was like coal being compressed into diamond. Sharp and strong, but I sensed no evil in it. With an amazing amount of finesse, he balanced which power he brought forward, which he pushed back. It was like he was keeping the strongest part of himself in check. Was he always censoring a part of himself?
“Stand down!” Alana commanded the Neqs. They held their ground, but stowed their fire. Was this her personal army? Where the hell were we?
As if he’d heard my thought, Matt looked around. Snow hung heavy on branches of pine trees. The air was thin—high elevation I was guessing. He was in a pretty sophisticated compound. It looked like a demon version of the military’s forward operating base. Generators hummed in the distance. This place looked well-equipped, no doubt well-stocked too. So this was why she was buying illegal magical goods.
“Did you bring me here to kill me?” Matt asked as he flipped the daggers he’d drawn into throwing position.
“Hardly.” Alana spun around arm stretched out like Vanna White. “I wanted to show you what you could be a part of. What I spent the last ten years working on.”
“Building an army? Why?” he said. His blue magic still danced on his skin, but he tossed his daggers and caught them by their hilts. He dropped his arms by his side, but didn’t put the daggers away.
Whatever Matt was doing, I hoped he’d make it quick.
“You of all people should be able to see the current system is untenable,” Alana said. “The powers that be have chosen to weaken the ranks of magicborn, making it easier for humans to remain in control. You’ve suffered so much because the law fears your power. Under the rule of demons, this insanity would come to an end. Demons are the superior race and we know it.” Now she was sounding more like a regular Caedis. “We don’t fear the power of the Amalgams, in the world to come we will welcome your assistance.”
“So, I should just join up with you?” Matt asked.
“If you could see what’s best for this realm, you would. We’d avoid a costly war, save countless lives,” Alana shook her head. “The system you’ve pledged fealty to is corrupt—there is no order to it.”
“And how do you propose to change that?” Matt asked.
“The pious laws your precious Council Suprema holds you to are untenable. Let them fall, let the strong rise to the top. Let the natural order assert itself.” She was on a soapbox now.
“Like dominos it only takes one to fall for the change to begin,” she said, waving her hand as if it was no big deal. “And the most vulnerable Council is in your beloved Spelldrift. My allies are many at that Demongate.”
They were? That was terrifying news indeed. Was it possible my own Aunt Jenn was allied with this demon? Then again, after Tenebris, wouldn’t my aunt think twice before getting into it with another Caedis? I prayed she’d follow her intuition for once instead of her thirst for power.
“My dear son.” She gave Matt a look full of affection and what appeared to be genuine sadness. “Self-hatred has haunted you your entire life. I would see that system that encouraged that turned to dust.”
“Looks like you got it pretty together. What do you need one more soldier for?”
“Not my soldier, my second. That’s the beauty of this. I could give you the mother you never had and unleash the power you’ve been struggling to hold back.” She smiled like she was getting ready for the deal clincher. “I would see you using your Mal power to its full glory—a power you haven’t even begun to explore. Together we could crush our enemies and rule. As mother and son, I long to share this victory with you.”
Matt stayed silent, seeming to contemplate her plea. The hate he felt for this demon, the need to avenge his mother, was alive inside him. But just as Liv had done with her pain, Matt moved his emotions with the same practiced precision. He corralled them and p
ushed them aside. Only logic and reason and his plan moved him now. He sheathed his daggers and said, “You’re saying…I could accept my nature.”
“Yes!” She rewarded him with a smile. She was totally buying his act. “I know the pain you’ve struggle with. The effort it requires to keep your true strength hidden from the world. Lay that burden down. Be free. Accept the beauty of what you are.”
Matt paused. “You’re right, I am tired of fighting this power inside me. Constantly being drained by its very presence.” He was drawing the Caedis in by speaking from his heart. “I can see there’s a logic to your plan.” He paused as if considering. Only I knew he had shifted to just telling her what she wanted to hear. “Okay. I’ll pledge myself to your cause. But I have one condition. My honor won’t let me leave my coven mates where they are.”
“Those two are a lost cause, son.” Alana touched his arm, what looked like compassion on her face. “Trust me, they’ll never turn.”
“I know, but I can’t let the warlock die such a painful death. He deserves better. Let me go back and end them, so I can move forward with a clear conscience. Then we can begin…” He swallowed. “Mother.”
“How I’ve longed to hear you say that word.” Her hand reached out to stroke his cheek. I could feel how he had to steel himself to keep from flinching. Matt forced himself to lean into her touch, placing his own hand over hers.
I came to lying on the hard stone floor, the green glow of the protective dome all around me. My back ached.
Asher had let his body fall from sitting to lying down as if he didn’t have the strength to hold it up any more, his breath was too shallow. Black veins ran up his neck, increasingly closer to his brain. If that happened…well, that just couldn’t happen.
Right on time, Matt and Alana materialized side by side on the other side of the barrier.
I knew what I had to do. The light in Asher’s eyes was darkening bit by bit. I could only hope Matt had sensed I was with him through the coven bond, that he’d know what I was on board with his plan—but I couldn’t blow it by letting the Caedis know. “You have to heal him,” I pleaded with Matt. “He won’t last much longer—”
