by Bowie, Emily
At first, we used fake names, but with each year that passed, we felt more secure that if we just stayed hidden, my father would never need a reason to find us or believe we were alive. And as Madden began to talk, it felt funny to use fake names at home. I didn’t want my son to know me as someone I wasn’t. At first, it was only at home we would use our real names, but then with our last move, where Brax and I ran into each other, it was one of the first times I told people my real name.”
“What’s with all of the sad, serious faces?” Rhett asks, walking into our conversation looking concerned. He looks directly at me as he asks, “Who do we need to beat up?” before looking at the rest of us at the campfire.
It’s incredibly sweet that they all have taken that protective role. It helps me feel like one of them.
Shay throws a marshmallow at her brother.
“Don’t say I never offered.” He points a finger at her. “Joking aside, if you needed it, I would do it.” His face is completely serious.
Needing a change from the topic, I single Sloan and Kellen out. “Tell me, what do you do with your animal therapy place? I’ve heard of it but honestly know nothing about it.”
“You’ve opened a can of worms now!” Shay hollers at me, laughing. “That’s all we’re going to hear about for the rest of the night.” She’s teasing her brother, but you can see how proud she is of him. It’s present in all of their faces. We sit listening to Kellen and Sloan’s story of how they met and how it led to the idea of their animal therapy program. It’s very inspiring, leaving me in awe.
Slowly, the topic of conversation goes on to lighter-hearted topics before Brax’s low, deep voice rumbles at the shell of my ear, “I think it’s time we get Madden and put him to bed.”
Looking around, I would love to sit here all night. It’s something I have never experienced before. Brax has brought me into this new world, and I never want to leave it. He’s awoken something deep inside me that I never knew I missed or needed.
*
“Have fun with Grandma and Grandpa?” I ask Madden, walking back to Brax’s house. Madden is in the middle holding both of our hands as we swing him up with every other step.
“Yes! Can I sleep over next time?” he asks. I was wondering if he would want to. I saw his eyes light up when he heard the other boys were going to spend the night.
“I’m sure we can plan something,” I tell him, not fully committing. I still have this irrational fear of him being in other people’s care. It has gotten better, but it’s still there. I know it will lessen. I feel the Steele family will be the perfect family to help me with this. I may actually overcome it one day because of them. For that reason, I know I will go out of my comfort zone by allowing them to take him.
“You tired, bud?” Brax looks down at our son, his eyelids becoming increasingly heavy as we walked back. “I have one surprise for you and your mommy.”
My head comes up in shock before my mind wonders back to the guest room I wasn’t allowed to see.
“Close your eyes and hold my hand.” I get butterflies in my stomach, wondering what Brax has up his sleeve.
Slowly, we take one step ahead of the other, being careful to not run into anything. Brax’s guidance is excellent; we never stumble once.
“Open.”
My eyes fly open to seeing a fully decked out kid’s room.
“A car bed?” Madden screams while running to it. He wastes no time before testing it out by jumping on it. The walls are a light gray with racing stripes and flags acting as borders along the ceiling. There is a small red table and chairs with car-themed coloring books off to the side. Pictures of the Cars movie hang on the walls. It’s amazing. I have never seen anything like it. This would have taken him days to complete.
“I love it. Thank you, Brax!” Madden says between jumps on his bed.
Placing my hands around his waist, I lean into his body. “You have made one little boy feel very special. With us moving so much, I never had a room for him to feel like his. Not like you have.”
Watching Madden so happy makes my heart feel incredibly full. I have everything I’ve ever wanted in this room with me. Is this really how my life is meant to be? I hope so, because I have never wanted anything so badly in my life.
CHAPTER 39
Brax’s late night promises still ring in my ear. Everything is coming together. I am finally getting the life I dreamed about. The only thing I need is to have a heart-to-heart with Nate. I think he’s slowly coming around to us having our own lives.
I’m the girl who fought for freedom. I’m the girl who doesn’t stop till she gets what she wants. For a smart girl, I forgot what it felt like to keep fighting until I had everything. That has always been who I am. And somehow, after the fire, I lost track of that, pushing those wants to the side and telling myself I was being selfish. But is it selfishness to want the best for you and your son? Fighting for Madden and me is what started this journey, and it’s what will complete it. We are home, where we should be.
My hand rubs the side of my stomach as I feel another cramp ripple through. I lay there, hoping my period will stay away for a few days. That thought has me pausing. These cramps have been here for a few days already. I quickly do the math. I’m right on schedule. It should grace me with its presence sometime today.
“You awake?” Brax rolls over, draping his arm around me and wrapping me in his warmth. I love the feeling of being in his arms. I feel safe and protected. The only other person who ever made me feel this way was Nate. Yet here, being held in the strength of Brax’s arms, it makes me feel even more safeguarded.
“Hmmm,” is all I can say while I sink deeper into his touch. Morning cuddles, I could get used to this pretty fast. It’s not long before I can feel his hard length pressing into my back. Slowly, I turn my head, opening my eyes to see Brax looking intently at me.
His hair is all wild and free, looking messier than bedhead. His expression is soft, making my stomach flip with anticipation.
“Don’t pretend you’re not impressed.” His voice is gruff as I arch my back farther into him, liking the way he groans out.
His fingers interconnect with mine. I love the way they look together. I don’t think I could be happier than I am right now.
“Can I be awake now?” Madden’s small head pops into our room.
“Come here, honey,” I tell him as he comes running up and jumps into our bed, placing himself in the middle. I watch as Brax organizes himself, giving Madden the space to curl into me and taking his spot.
I wait for Brax to get an annoyed look on his face, but it never comes. Instead, he gives Madden a kiss on the cheek. As much as I would’ve loved to start something with Brax this morning, it also isn’t necessarily going to be a part of our everyday life. Madden is our son and will interrupt times like this. It’s part of family life.
Brax’s phone rings on the bedside table and he gets up. Madden is busy asking me what the plan is for today and wondering if we get to feed the horses. My attention is quickly lost on him as I watch Brax’s bare ass get out of bed before he puts on his underwear faster than I have ever seen any human being move. Madden is oblivious to it all as he talks away about how he dreamed of all the animals and wonders if there’s a monkey here, because he dreamed of that too.
Brax mouths, I’ll be back, as he takes the phone call, leaving Madden and me.
“I love it here. Can we stay forever?” he asks, breaking my heart a little bit.
“We’ll see.” I place a kiss on his forehead. I want to stay here forever too. I hope I can make it happen.
“Want to pick out my outfit for today?” I ask him.
He jumps out of bed, heading straight for the few outfits I have hanging over a chair. Years of living with Madden and Nate have forced the habit of wearing pajamas to bed.
“This!” He picks up the only sundress I packed.
“Are you sure?” I eye it, knowing with Madden and the animals it’s not the
logical choice.
“It’s so pretty. Please?” He gives me those puppy dog eyes and tilts his head, making me have to say yes. He hands me the dress. “Then can I see the chickens?”
Ruffling his hair, I give him a nod.
“Guess what?” Brax comes running back in the room, looking all too excited. “We have another offer from the surveyors.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me.
“I know I promised no work while you’re here, but this will set us up for life. The life I want for us, the life you deserve.” He kisses my hand.
“And if I say no?” I ask, when I know I have no intention of saying that.
“Then they can wait or lose the deal,” he confirms strongly.
“Go.” I pull him in closer and whisper into his ear, “But you owe me.” I give him a wink so he knows I’m talking about sexual favors.
Bending in closer, his hot breath hits my ear. “That’s a promise I plan to keep.”
CHAPTER 40
I feel pretty proud of myself for saying no to the deal that was set in front of me. In no less than a week, I had a call from the president of the company wanting to meet with me. I know they want this as much as I do.
Pulling into the warehouse-like building, I see Al and George, who I’ve met before. They give me a slight wave and open up the bay door that hides all sorts of equipment.
“Good to see you again, boys,” I greet them, stepping out of my truck. The smell of oil and machinery hits my nose as I walk into the bay. I can’t help but puff my chest out a little, feeling like I have the upper hand with those two.
“Brax Steele,” a deep voice greets me. Turning, I see an older man with more salt than pepper hair and big bushy eyebrow to match. He looks to be shorter than an average height man, and he has a heavyset waist. His clothes scream money, just like Al and George’s suits. Strangely, he is what I always pictured as a CFO type of person. I pause, recognizing this man, but from where I’m drawing a blank.
Unlike Al and George, there is a hardness in his face, his skin showing he must have worked outside for part of his life. Or maybe it’s what the stress of running a multibillion-dollar company can cause. Just standing here makes me feel like we’ll come to an understanding. I can’t help but think, Finally, I’ll get what I’ve been working for.
Stepping out from an office, Nate strides out, taking his place next to this man, confusing me. Red flags start to needle my skin as I take everything in around me, not liking my gut feeling.
I have to bite my lip from not lashing out. The metallic taste seeps into my mouth as I try to stay levelheaded, needing to know what’s happening.
The older man extends his hand. He looks too happy that I’m here. I look at his hand for a second before moving to meet his strong shake. Just as fast as I saw my future in riches, I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me.
“I’m Joseph Stratton.” Instantly, I know who he is. The man in front of me is Raya’s father. At my realization, the warehouse door closes, leaving us in dim light.
He doesn’t look like the grieving father I saw from afar at her funeral. This man looks calculating, knowing when he has the upper hand.
“I’m assuming I have a few things you want.” I look him straight in the eye. This meeting has to be about at least one of the two things I want most. Raya, who clearly he knows is not dead, or two, the oil in our land. Either way, I have them both.
He chuckles. “You are a smarter man than I thought. But I think we could benefit each other rather well, Mr. Steele. You have the ambition I like in a young man.”
Young man? Not sure I would consider myself that, since I am thirty-two.
“Now how is that?” I ask, doubting anything he says will be in my favor. I don’t trust these four men around me, and honestly, I don’t know if I can leave here without agreeing to anything they say either.
I can’t help but think, This is just my luck. I really do have a curse that follows me around.
“Did you know when Raya was born we held a week-long party in her honor? She has always been the pride and joy of my life. Come work for me.”
“Where does that leave Raya?” I’m not foolish enough to think that she faked her own death for nothing. She was frightened, with no other option.
“I thought you wanted riches. When we spoke on the phone for the very first property you bought off me, you spoke of being a businessman, wanting to have the respect of your town and family.” He has this wide-mouthed grin as he reveals I have already done business with him, without my knowledge.
“Priorities change. That is no longer important.” My priorities have changed. I can feel my body begin to sweat in this closed off area. I do need the money. By the way he’s grinning at me, he knows I need the money too; otherwise, I lose everything, including the land that has been in my family for almost a hundred years.
“Should I get your bank to call in your loan then? And you get to go home to your family. Or should we both become richer and make our own legends?”
Greed. This man reeks of it.
“No one remembers the name of weak family men, Brax Steele.” The more he speaks, the easier my choice comes. I don’t want to become Raya’s father, someone with more money than they know what to do with. He may be feared, but I doubt he’s loved.
Love, respect, and honor are the values my father taught us Steele children. This way out, I can’t say I would hold any of it.
He holds up the phone. “I’m calling it in,” he tells me. I almost laugh. I should have a few loans, but last time I was in the bank, we decided to consolidate them all for a better interest rate, and all I had to do was put up the family land as collateral. One year, then the contract would be torn up, knowing I would have paid it off by then. The less interest allowed me to afford that last parcel of land. Otherwise, I couldn’t get it.
I never even saw this scheme coming before now. The price of each of my dealings was too inexpensive. I was gathering land at under market value. That’s what made me take the risk. I never in a million years thought I was being set up to fail, or blackmailed. This plan has been in the making since I arrived home from Raya’s funeral.
“That’s it and Raya is mine?” Riches or Raya, I would pick Raya every time, making the choice easy.
Nate has stayed quiet behind Raya’s father. He’s been like a statue, frozen, not even blinking. His sudden movements catch my eye as he looks to his cell phone. I’m not the only one who notices. Joseph nods at him with a disapproving frown for him to take the call elsewhere before turning back to me.
“My daughter died in that fire. She wasn’t a whore who produced bastards. Her body is yours to do whatever you would like.”
“What’s the catch?” It seems too simple.
“I get my billion dollar oil well, an endless supply of money. And in everyone’s eye, I prospered being able to find solace in my daughter’s death. People have empathy for me, which only gives me more power. You and her are useless to me. What’s your choice? Do I call back the bank?”
I can see the restraint he’s using not to show the pleasure he’s taking from all this. He really is an evil man. I look him over, trying to decide if what he tells me is the truth before I answer.
CHAPTER 41
I sit on the small wooden stool at the barn, watching Madden go crazy over the hens. He loves picking them up and cuddling them. Stanley, the cockiest rooster I have ever known—the fact that he’s the only rooster is beside the point—keeps eyeing up Madden. After more than one person in his family told me to keep an eye out for Stanly and small children, I was forced to secure the protective bastard of a rooster by placing him in a horse stall to keep my son safe.
“Can I name one?” he asks me.
“I’m pretty sure they all have names already.” Of course that’s what he would question me about.
“Just get your dad to buy you one to name.”
Madden and I pause, looking at each other, not used to hearing Brax r
eferred to as Dad. I like the ring to it. I wonder if Madden thinks about that too. This is all so new to him. I feel it’s my fault that he calls Brax by his first name. Unfortunately, that’s how I always referred to him. I never thought about saying Dad, even though he knew Brax was his father.
Looking over my shoulder, I see Sloan walking toward me.
“Don’t give him any ideas.” I laugh.
Madden gives me his exaggerated puppy dog eyes, silently pleading for his own hen.
“You heard your auntie. Ask your dad.” I love everything about that sentence.
His eyes light up with him starting to conspire how to ask for his own hen. It’s not long before he’s off trying to pick them up to cuddle them some more.
“Can I be weird and ask you a favor?”
Looking up, I see Sloan avoiding my eyes as she looks off to Madden, but it looks forced, like she’s trying not to look at me.
“Okay,” I say slowly, not knowing where this is going.
“I need to take a pregnancy test,” she blurts out.
My head moves up and down, still not knowing what the favor is or following what she’s trying to communicate to me.
“You need me to take it?” I ask skeptically, because that is weird.
“Gosh no.” She laughs. “Every time I’ve taken one, I’ve been with Kellen or alone. I feel like if I do that again, it’ll be negative. Where, if I have a new witness, it’ll be positive.”
“That’s your favor?”
“Please don’t make me say it out loud again,” she pleads, making me realize how hard it was for her to come over here to me.
“Is Madden okay here by himself?” I honestly don’t know. I feel like he’s not, but that could be my over-parenting momma claws out again.
