by Jeannie Watt
A guy at her firm was hitting on her. He was attractive and personable and when she’d looked him up, she couldn’t find anything about him that wasn’t admirable. But just like her life in Seattle, something was missing.
He wasn’t Cole.
She didn’t know why she finally settled on her sofa and dialed her mother’s number, other than the fact that they hadn’t talked since she’d first returned to Seattle. Maybe she needed to hear someone tell her again how lucky she was to escape that rural hell.
The phone rang twice and then Jess answered in his almost too-quiet voice.
“Hi, Jess. Taylor. Is my mom there?”
“She’s marketing.”
“Oh. Well, tell her...” The words trailed off as she realized she didn’t know exactly what she wanted to tell her other than that she’d called. “Jess?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you a personal question? You don’t have to answer.”
“Sure.”
“How much did you give up to be with my mom?”
“I don’t quite follow. I really didn’t have anything.”
“Not material things...how much of yourself? Your goals and the plans you’d made for your future.”
“I gave up nothing.”
Taylor waited a beat, and when the phone remained silent, she said, “Are you living the life you would have lived without her?”
“No. This is different.”
Different. Not worse. Different.
“I changed my goals when I met your mom. They’re still my goals.” He spoke in a musing way, making Taylor think that he’d never truly analyzed the situation, but instead had adapted as things in his life changed.
“Mom always told me to be independent. I guess that made me think that in your relationship...” You were the loser. “Uh, never mind. Too personal. I apologize.”
“Don’t apologize, Taylor. We make the decisions together. Sometimes she goes commando on me, but I wear her down. I’m the water. She’s the rock.”
A true artist’s answer.
“I made assumptions.”
“Don’t we all. You haven’t been around us enough to know how things are between us. They’re good. I’m happy. If I wasn’t, I would have walked long ago.”
“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation,” Taylor said.
“Which means you must have needed to have it.”
She snorted softly. “Maybe so.”
Only instead of making her situation clearer, Jess’s revelation muddied it further. And then to make things worse, she did a terrible thing—she started looking for jobs in Montana again. Just...looking.
She wasn’t that serious...or at least that was what she told herself. Cole hadn’t contacted her since she’d left—not that she’d contacted him, but she’d had the last word when she kissed him. The ball was in his court. And he hadn’t done anything with it. That was why the job search wasn’t that serious.
But she was curious. Were there options out there? Could she get different training? There were pluses to living in a more rural environment, after all, or there wouldn’t be so many people relocating to the state. There were definite financial pluses. The cost of living in the city was eating her alive.
The culmination of her craziness came when Carolyn dropped by and noticed the Montana job search she’d left up on the screen before answering the door.
“This is serious,” Carolyn said.
“Just curious.” Which was why she could feel herself blush a guilty pink.
“Uh-huh.” Carolyn picked up the laptop and carried it to the sofa while Taylor got the wine, cursing herself for not shutting the lid. “Most of these don’t pay that well.”
“I can rent an apartment for less than a zillion dollars a month.” Not that she was going to.
“Do you want to go back?”
“I just have to keep my options open in case the temp job doesn’t pan out. I’m looking for jobs here, too.”
“You know that if this job ends that you and Max can move in with me.”
Taylor’s eyebrows rose as she tried to imagine the two of them, plus one giant cat, maneuvering around Carolyn’s tiny studio. “I, uh...”
Carolyn grinned at her. “I’m moving in four months when my lease expires. I already have the new place nailed down. It took a lot of orchestration and luck, but I will soon have a lot more room.”
“Congratulations! Now you’ll have room for all your shoes.”
“I didn’t say that,” Carolyn said with a sniff. “But I’m serious about the offer. I’d thought about inviting Bradley to move in, and he’s kind of hinted at it, but...” Carolyn made a fluttering gesture with one hand.
“You’re not feeling it?”
Carolyn shook her head. “I’m feeling it, but for once in my life I’m not rushing it.”
“Good to know that I have a safety net.” Really good. But not enough to still the anxiety that simmered away just under the surface.
Carolyn adjusted the laptop so that they could both see it. “Now, let’s see what’s out there for you—or someone very much like you.”
They shared a bottle of wine as they filled out an application for a school district budget manager, and for the answers that had started out being silly, they’d gone back and changed to serious.
“Are you going to send it?” Carolyn asked as she topped off their glasses.
Taylor held up her finger, gave it a theatrical twirl, then stabbed the apply button. “Yes.”
Carolyn smiled. “Let’s see what else is out there. You never know...maybe there’s something for me in the great outdoors.”
“Uh, have you ever been outdoors?”
“The cruise to Alaska. We stood on deck many times.” Carolyn made a face at her, then continued scrolling through the sites on her tablet.
“You know that if I get called for an interview, I won’t take it.”
“Of course not,” Carolyn said. “We’re just doing this for fun.”
“Good.” Taylor took a long drink of wine. “I just wanted to make certain we’re on the same page.”
Carolyn slanted a sideways look at her. “Although...”
Taylor let out a sigh. “He hasn’t called or texted. It’s done.”
Carolyn pushed the hair back from her forehead. “And you feel...?”
“Like I made the only choice I could have made. The only logical choice. The choice I told him I would make before we started sleeping together. I was totally up front and he was good with it.”
“What happened?” Carolyn’s expression shifted as she connected the dots. “Oh, no...you didn’t tell him that stuff about compromise?”
Taylor closed her eyes and pulled in a breath. “I believed that stuff about compromise.”
“And now?”
“If it was true, I wouldn’t feel this miserable right now.”
* * *
TAYLOR WENT OUT for a run late Friday afternoon after getting off work, and when she got back, a message was waiting for her on her phone. Not her mother, as she’d expected, but Jancey. A simple “Call me.”
Taylor’s heart started to thump as she hit the redial. Had something happened to Cole? To Chucky? Jancey answered instantly.
“Taylor. Thanks for getting back to me.” The girl sounded stressed, but not Cole’s-in-the-hospital stressed.
“Not a problem. Is everything okay?” As in, did her heart need to be beating this rapidly?
“Cole’s talking about selling the ranch.”
Taylor almost dropped the phone. “No.”
“I know. I think he’s doing it to be with you.”
“Um...” Taylor sank down to the sofa as guilt washed over her. She’d told him to sell and now h
e was going to do it? “I’m not certain what to say.” Total understatement.
“There’s got to be another way, Taylor. I don’t want to lose the ranch.”
Taylor cleared her throat, then leaned forward to rest one elbow on her knee and prop her forehead with her hand as she stared down at the floor. “What reason did he give for wanting to sell?”
“He said that it’ll keep Miranda from being able to use the land for the working ranch packages. I guess she’s making a lot of money from those, and this would stop her.”
“That means you guys are making money, too.”
“I guess.”
“He said he wanted to sell.” Taylor was still having trouble wrapping her mind around that.
“Can you talk to him? Please, Taylor. Let him know that it isn’t the ranch keeping you guys apart.”
“I’ll, uh, see what I can do.”
“I would really appreciate it.” Jancey’s voice cracked, making Taylor’s heart squeeze. The girl loved her ranch.
Taylor ended the call and slumped backward without asking how Max was doing. Cole was talking about selling the ranch. Whatever the reason was, it was his business. Totally his business...except that she’d suggested it to him, and now Jancey was beside herself.
Regardless of what Jancey thought, she couldn’t just shove her nose back into Cole’s business. She’d lost that right. She would call once she felt ready—it wasn’t as if he’d sell the ranch overnight—and maybe together they could come up with a way to help Jancey deal with whatever decision he made.
Jancey is never going to be okay with the decision. It’ll be a regret she harbors forever...and maybe Cole will feel the same.
Not her fault, but she had a finger in this.
Call. Get it over with. Do what you promised and move on.
She started to search for Cole’s number, then put the phone down again.
She wasn’t ready to hear his voice. Wasn’t ready to be dismissed.
She had unknowingly lost a big part of herself when she’d walked away. Returned to what she thought she’d wanted—the city and the lifestyle that, by all rights, should have made her feel exactly the way it had before she’d taken refuge on her grandfather’s farm.
You love Cole and it’s tearing you apart.
Oh, yeah. No argument there.
Taylor paced to the window. The view wasn’t as beautiful as the one from her former apartment building, where her name had already moved two spots up the list, but it should have brought on a similar feeling of contentment. Instead she had the oddest feeling that she no longer belonged. Her city was rejecting her.
So where did that leave her?
With a very short weekend to do what she had to do.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
IT WAS WELL after midnight when the crunch of gravel under tires woke Cole. He got out of bed and pushed back the curtain, wondering who the hell was driving into the place that late at night. His jaw dropped when he caught sight of the Z pulling to a stop next to the bunkhouse.
The door opened and Taylor stepped out, looking like something out of a dream.
What the hell?
He jammed his legs into his jeans and was out of his room and halfway down the hall before he went back and got a shirt. Taylor was letting herself into the bunkhouse when he opened the kitchen door.
“Taylor?” His voice sounded overly loud in the quiet night.
She started and then turned toward the house. Toward him. He snapped a couple of more fasteners on his shirt as she approached.
“What are you doing here?”
“I was planning to spend the night in the bunkhouse if you haven’t turned it into a grain bin. There’s a softball tournament in the Eagle Valley. No rooms in town.”
He walked toward her, keeping his gaze on her, half wondering if maybe this was all some kind of a hallucination. A walking dream. Maybe he’d wanted her back so badly that he was imagining this.
“No. Why are you here?”
She rolled her neck. “Do you want to know how many times I asked myself that question as I drove?” She met his gaze as if those few words explained everything—a seven-hour drive, no warning, her purpose in being there. “We need to talk. I wanted to do it in person. I have to be back by tomorrow night.”
His heart beat a hard rhythm against his ribs. “What are we going to talk about?”
“Selling the ranch.”
Wild hopes dissipated as he realized what the deal was. “Jancey’s been in contact?”
“Yes.”
“Taylor...”
“If you’re going to send me packing, do it in the morning, when I can drive more safely. I really hadn’t expected to not be able to get a room. That motel is a thorn in my side. Robberies. No vacancies.”
“I’m not sending you packing.”
She came up the steps to stand beside him, looking exhausted and so damned beautiful. “Not yet anyway?”
He opened his mouth to say, “Not ever,” but closed it again. It wasn’t time. He needed more information before he gave away too much. Although, what would it matter? It wasn’t as if he could be tied in knots any tighter. And the way Taylor was looking at him, so open and unguarded... Maybe it was because of exhaustion.
Or maybe it was something more.
She gave him a faint smile. Tentative. Beautiful. “I feel good being back.”
The simple words rocked him. He stared at her, realized he was frowning and did his best to clear his forehead. Then he held out his hand. Slowly Taylor lifted hers and settled her fingers in his palm. It felt right. He closed his hand, and she squeezed his palm as if drawing strength.
“Come on inside.” He led her into the house, and she let go of his hand to go sit at the kitchen table.
“Could you make me a cup of coffee?”
“You don’t think it’ll keep you up?”
“I’m hoping it’ll keep me from passing out.”
“Want to talk in the morning?”
“It is morning. I want to talk now.”
She waited until he’d turned toward the sink to say, “I have an idea about the ranch.”
“What’s that?” As he scooped coffee into the filter, he fought the feeling that he was going to turn around and find her gone.
“I think we should try to sell the ranch to someone who will in turn sell it back to you.”
He stopped pouring water into the coffee machine, wondering if he’d heard right. “Come again?”
She waited for him to finish pouring and sit down before saying, “If you sold to someone who sold it back to you before capital gains kicked in, that would negate Miranda’s claim on use of the property, right?”
“It would. I just don’t know anyone with that kind of money.”
“I know someone.”
He frowned at her.
“It wouldn’t be free. You’d have to cover all the sales costs and buy it back for more than you sold it for, which is what would make it worth the guy’s time and money, but you’d get it back without Miranda.”
“How much more?”
“Maybe ten grand. Maybe a little more.”
“Ten thousand dollars to rid the place of Miranda?”
She let out a short breath as the coffee started dripping noisily into the carafe. “Sounds pretty reasonable, doesn’t it?” She reached for his hand, and he turned it over as they made contact so that they were palm to palm. Cole swallowed as he worked to process what she was telling him, along with the fact that she was there. Touching him. Connecting with him.
Acting as if she’d been as torn up about parting as he’d been.
“I’ll come up with ten grand.”
“I think we can swing this. The idea stru
ck at about Ellensburg, and I spent a good part of the drive discussing the ins and outs with people I know.” She smiled a little. “Late-night calls, but my associates keep late hours. It kept me awake.”
“Wait.” Cole’s grip tightened on her fingers. “You started driving before you thought of this?”
“I did.”
Cole felt himself go still. “Why?”
“I love you.”
And there they were. The words he’d wanted to hear. He let go of her fingers to lean toward her, sliding his hand behind her neck and easing her closer until her forehead rested against his. “I love you, too. Haven’t been able to find a cure.”
“That’s what Jancey insinuated.”
She met his lips, and before the kiss deepened, he pulled her from her chair, onto his lap, and she melted into him. His arms tightened, and he held on to the woman he’d truly thought he’d never hold again.
“You really have to be back tomorrow?” he whispered against her skin before kissing her forehead and then resting his cheek on top of her hair. Her scent filled his lungs. His world was complete.
“I do.”
He tamped down the disappointment. She was here. She loved him.
She angled back, bringing a hand up to stroke the side of his face. “I want to talk about other things. Compromises, mainly.”
“What about compromises?”
“I’m developing a different take on them. And...my city, my job...it isn’t enough anymore. My goals have changed.” She looped her hands around his neck, clasping them. “I think we can do this.”
“Make a relationship?”
She smiled and brushed her lips against his, and he wanted to haul her off to bed. “We already have one of those. I was talking more about making a life.”
He was about to answer when the sound of clicking toenails on linoleum brought his head up. Max sauntered into the room with Chucky close behind him, followed by a yawning Jancey, who stopped in her tracks when she caught sight of Taylor sitting on Cole’s lap, her arms wrapped around his neck.
“Uh...” She closed her mouth, then smiled as if she’d just accomplished some major coup. “I heard voices. Thought you left the television on.” The smile became a satisfied smirk. “Hey...you guys can say thank you, if you want.”
