He was screwed.
On top of him with his cock still embedded deep within her, Maddie flinched. “No thanks, I’ve hit my quota today.”
Didn’t take a genius to figure out his girl was pissed, hurt, and picking up on every damn thing he was broadcasting. He’d seen this shit before. A just as fucked up friend of his, Michael Black, had done the same stupid shit and bitten then mated his girl, Amelia, the night before he’d been about to walk out of her life forever to protect her. That’d been the end of Black’s plan to disappear and keep her safe from his fucked up life. It’d also been the night that Amelia had gotten pregnant with their son. A son that Black didn’t get to claim as his own and one the entire world thought he’d abandoned and… fuck.
Tango was about to do the same damn thing. He had to. Because no way in hell would he expose Maddie to the dangers of his world and let her become a target to the depraved bastards and be used as a weapon to destroy him and the men he served with in Sinclair’s army.
God help the bastard if they tried, because nothing would stop his inner beast from breaking free and becoming the uncontrollable destructive monster that it was and killing every damn thing in its path. Friend. Foe. Innocent bystander. Wouldn’t matter.
They’d all die.
CHAPTER NINE
Maddie was hurt. Beyond hurt. Her and Van had just done something that should have been beautiful. Meaningful. They’d connected in a way that they never had before. She’d felt his needs. His emotions. She’d freaking felt his closed off emotional self and how much he loved her and that feeling had wrapped around her heart, squeezed, and shattered any fears that he’d left her for another woman.
Then he’d opened his mouth. “Fuck me.”
Oh sure, that’s what he’d said, but it sure as heck wasn’t his meaning. Oh no. His tone spoke volumes and sang a single tune that meant he regretted what they’d done. Maddie flinched, pulled back and did nothing to stop bitterness and sarcasm in her voice. “No thanks, I’ve hit my quota today.”
Irritating man didn’t bat an eyelash. Her words didn’t have an impact on him.
Fuming, Maddie pushed off him and snatched her pants off the dashboard. What the hell was wrong with men that they couldn’t just keep their mouths shut? If he had, then she wouldn’t be beyond angry and more than half tempted to choke the stupid right on out of his arrogant, self-centered, egotistical, ‘everything is always about Van’ self. He was an idiot. Of epic proportions. And she’d had enough. Enough of the games. The lies. The manipulations. Half-truths. And secrets.
Maddie jerked her underwear into place, then yanked her pants on and tried like hell to quell the aftershocks pinging through her nervous system that kept making her twitch and spasm in places that meant it wouldn’t take much attention to start another chain of orgasmic explosions that’d fry her brain. But was he about to let her enjoy the afterglow of melting her brain? Heck no. Because he was an idiot man who needed to be smacked upside the head and made to see the light.
Pants finally in place Maddie plopped her butt on the seat, tried not to wince at the pleasure-pain it caused between her legs, and forced herself to ignore the seepage caused by him coming inside her. Again. And yes, while there was a primal part of her that was doing some sort of pagan happy dance that her female body was finally being used for the purpose of reproduction, there was an equally pissed off portion that wanted nothing more than to rip out his throat for regretting fucking her in the front seat of his car to within an inch of sanity.
Happy dance squashed, Maddie unlocked the cage on her inner irate bitch. “You’re an ass.”
“Yeah, well that shit happens when you deliberately fuck with my head.”
“Me,” she sputtered. “I’m not the one who instigated this grudge fuck. That’s all you.”
“Bullshit,” he fired back as he killed the engine and yanked out the keys. “That was no grudge fuck. It was me fucking claiming you because you had to go there and toss Caliv in my face.”
“I did not toss Caliv in your face.”
“No, you just ripped open a festering wound and fucking ground your regret at not taking him up on his friends with benefits offer.”
Her fists clenched and itched to punch him across the jaw. “You want to talk regrets? Fine. Let’s talk about you regretting what we just did. Let’s talk about you laying it on the line, pulling me closer, then kicking my ass emotionally to the curb.”
He shook his head and turned away from her. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“The hell I don’t,” Maddie assured him. “I don’t know what just happened between us, but I know what I felt and I know you regret it. And I want to know why.”
He ignored her and opened the car door, then got out and pulled the seat forward to grab his bag from the back and let Lily-pup out.
“Dammit, Van, I will not be ignored.”
He bent down and looked at her. “Grab your gear and get moving. The team will be here soon.”
He closed the door. In her face. No excuses. No explanation. No… oh, hell no, he wasn’t getting away with this. Maddie shoved open her door, then tossed her bag onto the sidewalk and climbed out.
He was already around the car and picking up her bag by the time both her feet hit the pavement. “Which building,” he demanded.
She slammed the car door shut. “Not until you explain yourself.”
Van’s eyes narrowed. “Inside. Now.”
Maddie folded her arms across her chest and stood her ground. “No.”
Van growled—like really growled not some sort of man purr thing that he did during sex, but actually growled. Like a pissed off beast issuing a warning. Naturally it had no effect. Other than to cause Lily-pup to plunk her butt right next to him and huff out a groan of annoyance then start scratching at her collar. “We are exposed on the street and you will—”
“No, we’re not,” Maddie interrupted. “Look around, Van. There’s no one here, but you and me.”
A muscle ticked under his eye. “Street cameras—”
“Can be controlled by computers in the warehouse. If I don’t want video of me existing on this street, then there will be no video. So stop being so damned selfish and answer the freaking question!”
“Which question would that be, Maddie? I’ve already answered so many, I’m losing track.”
His sarcastic tone did nothing to calm her irritation. “Oh no you don’t. This isn’t about me. This is about you once again avoiding commitment.”
His brow furrowed and he pulled back. “What the fuck are you talking about? I’ve been committed to you and our relationship since the git-go.”
“Bullshit,” she yelled. “Yes, you may have done everything right on the surface, but deep down inside you’ve done nothing to connect to me emotionally.”
“Really,” he scoffed. “I didn’t do anything at all when we were at the farmhouse when you were melting down? I didn’t sit there, hold you, and keep my fucking mouth shut while taking hit after hit from every goddamn emotional grenade you could pitch at my head? What the hell, Maddie? I’ve bent over backwards at every opportunity to give you whatever it is you need that’ll fix things between us. Did I want to come back like this? Hell no. Am I on fucking edge standing on this street because whoever the fuck keeps gunning for you won’t cop a fucking clue and stop? Yes!”
With every word his eyes changed color, growing darker and darker until they were solid black. If she were a normal person that would have freaked her out. But she’d played this game before and wasn’t about to let him get away with not telling her the whole truth and the absolute truth. Her arms jerked to her sides and she took a step towards him. “It’s all about you. I did this. I did that. Not once have you considered my feelings in all of this. Do you think I enjoyed getting fucked in the front seat, Van?”
“Did you come on my cock, Madeline,” he fired back.
It was her turn to growl under her breath and recite the Serenity Prayer. H
e was an arrogant ass who knew damn well and good that she had physically. “Stop being an ass. You know exactly what I’m talking about. We had a moment and you started connecting. I felt you, your emotions, and it was good. At least it was for all of ten seconds until you came to your selfish senses, pulled out, and ruined the moment.”
He stepped closer to her and looked down at her. “Whatever the hell you thought happened was all in your head.”
“Nice try.” Maddie gave him a tight lipped smile. “But you just confirmed it wasn’t.”
He held her gaze for a long moment as a battle of wills waged between them. “Which building?”
“This conversation isn’t over.”
“You want answers,” he asked in a hard soft tone.
“You know I do.”
“Then get your ass inside and let me do my fucking job.”
“You’re not the only one with a job in this relationship, Van. The sooner you realize that the sooner that this—us, our marriage, relationship, and everything else you say that you want—will work.”
Tango stood stupefied and glued to the spot as Maddie spun on her heel and marched for the front door. Everything else he said he wanted to work? What the hell? Had she missed every fucking word he’d been giving her since before their house had exploded?
This shit between them was going to work. Had to work. Especially now that he’d fucked up both their lives by doing the one thing he swore never to do. Had he always wanted to claim her? Hell. Fucking. Yes. Had he been tempted every single time he’d been buried balls deep inside her? Hell. Fucking. Yes.
But he hadn’t acted on the impulse because it’d put her in his world permanently and chain her to him forever. No longer would she be able to handle him being gone extended periods of time on missions. She’d be connected to him. Literally in a figuratively way. She’d be aware of him. Of everything he was up to. Not thinking, but feeling. Everything.
And being able to feel a mate’s emotions as they spiraled out of control was not a joy ride she was made for. So no, he hadn’t wanted to mate Maddie because he wasn’t a complete idiot. He knew whatever war mongering, blood thirsty bad ass that lived inside him was almost guaranteed to bleed over into her then change his Maddie into some unrecognizable she-bitch who’d fucking claw out his eyes for leaving the toilet seat up.
Yet he’d gone and done just that. Mated her and opened up a super fucking highway for his fucked up self to merge with hers.
He. Was. A. Dumb. Ass.
Lily-pup groaned at his feet, then shifted her weight until she was half leaning against his leg, then started scratching at her collar. Again. Dammit. How many times had he told Maddie not to put a collar on Lily?
Tango shook his head and dropped the bags to the ground, then knelt down and removed Lily’s collar. They’d chipped Lily-pup as a puppy and he’d spent hours training her not to need a leash. Only reason Lily wore a collar now was because Maddie had trust issues. Yeah, well that shit needed to stop. Now.
“Dammit, Van, no! That is a new collar,” Maddie screeched at him.
Undeterred, Tango unsnapped the neon pink nylon and offered it to the only obedient woman in his life. He waited to speak until after Lily—familiar with the routine—snatched the collar from his proffered hand then trotted happily over to where Maddie was holding the door open. “Trash it.”
Lily’s ears perked up at the command and her tail wagged once before she disappeared into the building.
Satisfied the collar would soon be dropped into anything resembling a trash can, Tango picked up their dropped go-bags then headed over to Maddie who was ramping up for another fight. Well, tough shit. He wasn’t gonna give it to her. Later maybe, but now…? Not a chance. “Inside. Now.”
Maddie’s eyes narrowed with anger. “I hate you right now.”
“Join the club. Now move. I want you inside that bunker before the team gets here.”
Her nostrils flared once as she huffed out her annoyance, but thankfully did as he ordered and stomped over to the elevator bank then mashed the call button. “Annoying, selfish, arrogant bossy—”
The elevator doors opened on a screeching groan that interrupted her pout fest and made him wince hard as a smell he didn’t want to name wafted out into the less than classy lobby. “No. Hell no. We’re not riding in that. We take the stairs.”
Maddie ignored him and stepped into the elevator, then braced her arm on the door and glared up at him. “You want me safe inside the bunker or not?”
“You know I do,” he bit out.
“Do I,” she countered.
It was moments like these that required counting to ten silently in his head. Because he was a leader. A natural born alpha who exerted his alpha will on a daily basis to lead a group of just as alpha paranormal soldiers. They challenged him. Pushed him to his limits. Tested his patience. And stomped on his temper button, but never once had they stripped back the onion layers of his soul and shoved a red hot poker into the crux of his festering insecurities. Because his team respected him and their harmonious-dysfunctional team dynamics.
Maddie, apparently, did not. Which was why he reacted and exploded without anything remotely resembling a thought. “What the fuck, Maddie? Everything I do and have done is for you!”
“No, Van, everything you’ve done has been for you. It’s always about you! Not me.”
Oh for fuck’s sake. “How many times do we have to go over this?”
“Until you cop a freaking clue that what you did was wrong,” she fired back at him.
“Wrong? How the hell is protecting you wrong? What the fuck was I supposed to do, Maddie? My life isn’t and has never been safe for attachments.”
“You think I don’t know that,” she demanded. “I know you have a job to do. I have no problem with you having a job to do. But you’re the one who chased me. You’re the one who proposed to me. You’re the one who brought me into your life and attached me to you. Not. Me!”
“Bullshit! You were right there with me every step of the way.”
“Was I really with you? Truly? Was I included in all the preparations for your exit? Was I included in setting up all the protocols associated with your exit strategy?”
“Yes,” he blurted out before he realized she’d thrown him a curve ball and nailed his ass to the whipping post. Dammit. He hadn’t included her in jack shit associated with him leaving except to prep her for the eventuality. Hell, he hadn’t even given in to the natural as fuck desire to claim her that’d been hammering his ass since the moment he set eyes on her. Last thing he needed was for her to find out the hard way that he was a freak of nature by leaving fucking puncture marks on her neck. Oh, wait, his dumb ass just did that because he was a weak willed pussy who couldn’t control his urges. Moron.
But Maddie, clueless to the hell he was putting his own self through, wasn’t done. Lucky. Him.
“Oh really,” she drawled with pure sarcasm that called him on his bullshit. “Then why the hell wasn’t I able to find you after you left? Why was everyone else able to find you when I couldn’t? Why were you able to keep in touch with everyone BUT me?”
Her voice rose with every word until she was damn near screaming at him.
He tried like hell to tamp down his frustration, even out his tone, and steer this conversation back to some place safer. Like the land of married people barely speaking to each other. In a deliberate, clear voice, he explained, “Because it was necessary. To keep you safe.”
“Safe physically, but not emotionally.”
“Recovering from a heartbreak is doable, babe. Not so much for a bullet to the heart.”
She scoffed at that. “That’s your excuse? Seriously?” Maddie blew out a ragged breath, then stepped back into the elevator and gave up. “I don’t even know why I try.”
He heard and felt her emotionally retreat from him and the distance between them physically hurt. Ripped at his heart and made him want to claw his eyes out. But enough was enoug
h. He needed to get her into the warehouse then get his team here stat to setup perimeter guard and— Enough. One thing at a time.
Tango called Lily to the elevator then stepped inside. Thankfully, Maddie stayed silent.
Until the elevator doors closed.
“It’s about you. It’s always about you.”
Again with the hot poker under his skin. Tango turned on her and snapped, “What the hell does that mean?”
Wide eyed and full of righteous feminine indignation over some made up, guaranteed to drive a man crazy snit, she snapped right back at him. “Just what I said.”
“It’s never about me.”
“Think again,” she roared. “You walked out on me so you could have what you needed. Not what I needed.”
Here we go again. “Told you multiple times. That was to keep you safe,” he said through clenched teeth.
“Safe for whom?”
“For you. Not to be dead because of my enemies!”
“More like, you needed me out of the line of fire so you could focus on your mission.”
Finally! Something he could work with. “Yes!”
“So you could remove the threat.”
Blessed be, her worked up emotional state was winding down and he could feel it. An end to the insanity. Before him a beacon of hope glimmered, beckoning him forth to a dangling rope that’d rescue his sorry ass from this rabbit hole of crazy-emotional-girl-land. “Yes!”
“How long did it take you to remove the threat, Van?”
It’d been on the tip of his tongue to shout another affirmative to silence her crazy, when it registered she’d just slow walked his dumb ass into a trap. Son of a— He was screwed.
“Five years?” she asked with an arched brow.
He kept his mouth shut. No way in hell could he answer that question and not get his ass served to him on a platter. He turned back around and faced the elevator doors.
“Four years?”
The elevator lurched to a stop and he silently thanked God for the reprieve.
“Oh come on, lover boy. Don’t hold back on me now. We were doing so well with airing the truth and fixing things between us.”
Devil's Tango (Running with the Devil Book 1) Page 8
