“Shh … it’s okay, Christina.” He brings me in for a hug, and we hold each other tightly. I shift us slightly so that I can see his face. Even though I’ve asked him how he’s doing these past few days, he’s been an expert at dodging my concerns and turning the focus back to me.
With my arms tightly around his waist, I ask, “How are you, honey? Really? How are you doing with all of this? I know he was important to you, too.”
His eyes slowly open and close before answering, “Don’t worry about me, okay? Helping you get through today is all that matters right now.”
I feel him try to pull away, but I don’t let him. “CJ, please, stop. Stop and talk to me. Please.”
At that last word, his eyes instantly redden and shine, his strong façade finally cracking.
He closes his eyes and lowers his head, whispering, “I can’t right now.”
He kisses me lightly then turns to grab my clutch off the coffee table, wiping at his eyes as he goes.
Max is driving us to the services today. CJ and I sit in the back seat, both lost in our own thoughts, but thigh to thigh, needing to keep each other close. I’ve stayed with him every night at Eric’s apartment and we’ve been in constant physical contact with each other since that devastating day.
When his thumb suddenly stops gliding over the top of my hand, I look up at him in question. With a faint smile, he speaks softly in the silent car. “I like it when you call me honey.” He meets me for a kiss before I rest my head on his shoulder, and we both drift back off to our own thoughts.
Thomas’s service, although heartbreaking, was beautiful. The church was filled to capacity, and the eulogies were emotional but still light-hearted and funny. Just how he would want it. The pews were a blend of family, friends, hospital staff, current and former patients, along with most of the Giants players, proving the effect Thomas had on everyone around him. He had told his mom once that if the worst happened, he wanted to be put to rest in his Giants jersey. So Alex went to the house and gave his parents a new one, that way they could keep the one he wore every day. His younger brother is currently wearing it over his suit.
“Are you guys leaving?” I hear CJ ask someone behind me. We’ve been at a restaurant down the street from the church for the last couple of hours. I turn to see Alex and Anna standing side by side, his arm around her waist.
“Yeah, it’s getting late, and I want to get Anna home.” Anna looks up at him appreciatively as Alex steps forward.
He wraps me in a hug and whispers in my ear, “Everything taken care of?”
With a tight squeeze, I answer, “Yes. Thank you.”
He gives me a quick kiss on the cheek and releases his hold before sharing a handshake with CJ. “Nice talking to you. Just remember what I said.”
My eyes turn to CJ, then Alex, and back again, hoping for a clue as to what he meant, but I get nothing. “Definitely. You too, Alex. And we’d really like to get together with you guys under better circumstances.”
Both Alex and Anna nod in agreement as she and I meet for a hug.
We head back into the dining room to start saying a few more goodbyes, but before we do, CJ stops me with a curious smile as he entwines his fingers with mine. He tugs me close and asks quietly, “What was that about?”
I cock my head and say, playfully, “I was about to ask you the same thing.”
He raises a curious brow. “You first.”
I shrug a shoulder and answer, “Alex took care of the bill for the luncheon, but he didn’t want to disrespect the family, so he asked me to be the go-between.”
“Wow. That was really generous of him.”
“See, he’s not a bad guy.”
He peers down on me, speaking seriously. “I never said he was a bad guy, Christina. But I knew he was interested in you, and I can hardly compete with the leading quarterback of the NFL.”
I know he’s kidding, but I feel a twinge of truth in his voice and want to squash that before it goes any further. Placing my hands on his chest, I hold his eyes to mine.
“Interested or not, I’m spoken for.” I rock up on my toes and plant a brisk kiss on his lips. “Besides, did you see him today? He never once left Anna’s side. Have I got mad matchmaking skills, or what?”
“Your skills are definitely mad.” He says playfully with a wink.
“So?” I widen my eyes, anxious for an answer to my question.
“So, what?”
“So, tell me what, ‘Just remember what I said,’ was all about?” I use my best deep, gravelly man voice to imitate Alex.
“Okay, first of all, don’t ever do that again,” he laughs quietly before whispering in my ear, “and secondly, it was about you.”
His warm breath at my neck causes a pleasant shiver to travel up my spine. I respond, “Well, considering both of you walked out of here with all of your limbs attached and no blood was spilled, I’m going to assume it was all good?”
“Yes, it’s all good. Let’s just say, he knows where my head is at, and I know where his is at, as well.”
I pull back to look at him in mock horror. “That’s it? No fighting for my honor? C’mon, that’s, like, every girl’s dream.”
He smiles, shaking his head, then brings his face close to mine. “Would it make you feel any better if I told you that he threatened serious bodily harm if I ever hurt you again?”
Without hesitation, my eyes light up, and I rapidly, but quietly, clap my hands in excitement. “Yes! That would totally make me feel better.” I freeze in concern as I consider the thought. “Wait, did he really do that?”
“He said, and I quote,” he lowers his already low voice, imitating me from a moment ago, “‘You fuck her over, I fuck you up. Understand?’”
My mouth falls open, and I stare into CJ’s eyes as my own begin that all too familiar burn.
“I told him, not going to happen. I’d stand in front of a train for her. I’d take a bullet for her. If I’m stupid enough to fuck this up again, you can tie me to the field goal and give each member of your defensive line a shot.”
I crash my head into his shoulder and fight back the tears.
My forehead shakes from the small laugh that is vibrating through his chest. “What’s the matter?”
I keep my face buried in his suit coat but slide my hands inside and wrap my arms around his waist. “That’s so nice.”
His hand wraps around my head as his laugh continues to travel through his chest, vibrating my own.
“Why are you laughing? It’s not funny.” I pinch him ever so slightly in annoyance.
His laughter slows, and his large hand moves down to my neck as his voice grows severe. “No, it’s not, Christina. It’s not funny, because you deserve nice things being done for you every day. Not just nice things. Amazing. Generous. Beautiful things. Just like you.”
I will not cry. I will not cry.
“I love you,” I mumble into his chest.
At my words, he slides his hand to my chin, lifting it till our eyes meet, and whispers, “Look at me when you say that, okay?”
I don’t hesitate. “I love you, CJ.”
“I love you too, Christina.”
“One more, Miss Christina!” Trinity is on my lap, excitedly pointing at my computer screen where she’s been watching Disney Princess videos on YouTube for the last twenty minutes.
“All right, sweet girl, let’s see.” I rest my chin on top of her head and watch a video of a little girl dressed as Cinderella, visiting The Magic Kingdom and meeting Prince Charming. He bows down as she attempts a curtsy, then loudly whispers to him, “This is when you ask me to marry you.” Prince Charming plays along, getting down on one knee, only for the little Cinderella to ask, “Did you ask my daddy first?” You hear the crowd laugh as the young girl’s dad nods in approval and Prince Charming once again asks for her hand in marriage. Her response is priceless. With a hip cocked and her eyes to the sky in consideration, she turns to him and says, “Nah, thanks anyway
though,” before running back into her dad’s arms.
“Oh my gosh, how cute is that?” Trinity squeals. It is actually adorable, but what I love the most is the smile it brings to her face. And it’ll only get bigger when she finds out what I’ve got planned for her “No More Chemo” party next week. All of the Disney Princesses are making an appearance.
“It’s soooo cute, Miss Christina! I can’t wait to go to Disney World!” She’s clapping and wiggling around my lap. I wrap my arms around her and plant a kiss on her fuzzy head.
I spin us once in my chair and announce, “You are going to have soooo much fun, Trinity. Just make sure to take lots of pictures for me, okay? I want to hear all about it when you get back. How many days until you leave?”
She turns her face to mine and shouts a little too loudly in my ear. “Twenty-one!” Trinity doesn’t know it yet, but I’ve arranged for her and her family to stay in the castle at Magic Kingdom on their trip. In. The. Castle. Even I couldn’t buy my way into that, if I wanted to.
I hold her hands in mine, then raise them up as we chant, “Twen-ty-one! Twen-ty-one! Twen-ty-one!”
I throw my head back and laugh, when the sight of someone in my doorway catches me by surprise. It’s CJ. “Trinity, look who’s here?” I turn my chair so she’s facing him.
“CJ!” She jumps off of my lap and rushes to give him a hug. Between the toll of losing Thomas and the sleeplessness that goes along with working the night shift, we decided it’s best for us as a couple if CJ goes back to working days at the distillery. But that doesn’t mean he’s done with the kids. He makes it a point to always stop in and say hi, usually bringing me lunch. Although, today I wasn’t expecting him.
Trinity runs off as CJ enters my office. I stand to meet him and give him a kiss, when I notice he’s carrying a backpack. “This is a nice surprise. What’s in the bag?”
He tucks my hair behind my ear. “You’ll have to come with me to find out.” Before I can ask another question, he grabs my tote and leads me out of my office. I wave goodbye to Anna as the elevator reaches our floor. She gives me a wave and knowing smile as CJ pulls me inside.
“Are we going to lunch?” I look up to him, confused but excited.
“Something like that.” He kisses me the moment the doors close, never stopping until we reach the lobby.
I pause as I realize where we’re at, but not understanding why. “You’re taking me to church?”
He turns back to me with a playful smirk and waves for me to continue on. “Trust me, Christina.” We walk up a worn path to the church, before coming around to the side of the aged brick and stone building, Finally making our way to the back, we’re met by an stunning, opulent garden the likes of which I never knew existed in New York City. Every color of the rainbow is here, from the purple of the Hyacinth, to the yellow of the marigolds and the magenta of the Garden Phlox, all with tall grasses and ivy flowing in between.
“How have I never heard of this place?” The awe and wonder evident in my voice. “CJ, this place is …”
“You like it?”
I scan the grounds, taking in every vibrant color, every sweet, luscious smell. “Like it? It’s … It’s … Majestic.”
He brings his hand to my lower back and smiles down on me. “Good. That’s kind of what I was hoping for.” He moves in for a short, firm kiss before leading me forward to a secluded bench under a large willow tree and begins to open his backpack. I pull a leaf from the tree and rub it between my fingers as I scan the grounds.
“Take a seat.” He’s laid out a blanket and is opening containers of what looks like fruit and small sandwiches. Next he pulls out a couple of small bottles of iced tea but stops when he notices I haven’t moved.
“Christina?”
My chest tightens as I take in all of the thought he put into this day. “You did all this? For me?”
He stands and walks over to me, taking the leaf from my hand and dropping it to the ground, before wrapping me in his arms. “Yes, this is all for you.” I grip him tightly at the meaning behind those words and slowly close my eyes as his mouth covers mine.
“I have a surprise for you.” He tells me as he reaches for the backpack.
“Another surprise?” I ask, as I gather up the leftovers from our lunch. “This was more than enough.”
“Nope, there’s one more. This.” He holds out one of my most prized possessions … my Kindle.
“I don’t get it.” I sit back on my heels, looking from him to my Kindle and back again.
“Come here.”
When I don’t answer or move, he looks down at the spot in front of him, then back at me. I scoot my body next to his and before I realize what’s happening, he pulls me down so my head is resting in his lap.
“CJ … I …” But I’m cut off when my Kindle hovers in front of my face.
“Read, Christina.” I lift my head back, eyeing him in confusion. “You’re going to take one hour for yourself and read.” His tone brooks no argument, so I take the device from his hand.
With my head still tilted up to his, I ask, “You want me to read?”
“Yes. I want you to read.”
“And what will you do?”
He gives me a sexy smirk, “I’ll be concentrating on the beautiful girl in my lap.”
Top that Prince Charming.
It’s been a few months since we lost Thomas, but CJ and I are in a good place. I’m more or less living at the apartment with him, and for the first time in my life, I’m not in a house surrounded by people, where at any given moment, anyone can come around the corner. I mean, seriously, why hasn’t anyone told me about the wonders of kitchen sex? Whoever determined the standard height of a kitchen counter is a genius.
I also enjoy the peace of quietly making dinner or lying on the couch together while he watches ESPN and I read. Or, better yet, when we turn off the TV and lie in the moonlit room and simply talk. It’s nice. Actually, better than nice. It’s something I’ve never been allowed to experience before. Just like waking up, day after day, wrapped up in the arms of the only person I’ll ever want to be wrapped up in.
Like now, with the newly rising sun heating the room, lying on our sides with CJ’s chest pressed to my back, he wakes me with small nips and tender kisses to my shoulder. I reach back, grabbing his thigh as I push my hips back into him. A low groan echoes from his chest at the contact.
“Christina.” His warning is deep and raspy. Although still half asleep, I don’t miss the challenge, and I push back once more, this time his hand grabbing my waist and holding me in place as he releases a long, pained breath on my neck. I reach to the nightstand and grab a condom, holding it up for him without speaking a word. He takes it and quickly puts it on before pulling me close to him. He slides back and forth a few times, teasing, until I reach up and give a tug on his hair to let him know I’m not interested in playing. He gets the message and slowly enters, keeping the lazy pace as I turn my head and pull him in for a quick, firm kiss. He buries his face in my neck and begins to move.
“I want you on top. I want to see you,” he whispers in my ear.
He breaks away from me and rolls to his back as I straddle him. My eyes are focused solely on his as I slowly, tortuously glide down then back up again. I don’t get away with it long before he runs his hands up my thighs, digs his fingers into my hips and pulls me down, forcing me forward and planting my hands on his chest.
His hands travel roughly up my back, pulling me down further until we’re cheek to cheek. I nip at his earlobe as I roll my hips and instantly feel his body tense and tighten. “Christ, do that again.” I don’t hesitate to give him what he wants. A few more swirls of my hips added to the mix is all it takes to get us both close to the edge. CJ grasps my head with one hand while holding me low at my back with the other. I dig my fingers into his shoulders as he continues to move, taking me there as he follows close behind.
Still connected, I feel his breathing slow against my neck
. “Good morning, beauty.”
My face buried in the pillow, I smile. Yes. Yes it is.
The only thing hanging in the air between us, the only thing that has become the “Voldemort” in this relationship, is meeting his family. I know they’re on the other side of the country, but as this thing between us continues to grow, it becomes increasingly—but quietly, important to me. After Thomas passed and CJ and I reconciled, I made my peace with letting go of all the plans I’d made to leave this life behind. As I think about it now, all of that may have been a coping mechanism of sorts. Something to dream about instead of dealing with the pain and neglect my family inflicted on me. But now I’m free of that. Now I’m with a man who has proven to me not only that he loves me, but more importantly, that he can be trusted.
Anna has always been a friend, and since she’s been dating Alex, she’s become a close confidant as well. That’s why it felt safe to confide in her about wanting to meet CJ’s family. Her advice, don’t push it. It’ll happen when it’s meant to.
Or at least that was her advice until we went to dinner and she drank an entire bottle of wine.
Anna raises her glass to Alex, “I’ll take a little more.” He doesn’t hesitate to reach for the bottle and fill her glass. He holds it up in offer to me, but I decline.
CJ and I are out to dinner with Alex and Anna, tucked away in a private, corner booth. The food is fabulous, the conversation is non-stop and we’re all having an incredible time. But that quickly changes when Anna finishes yet another glass of wine and shoots me a sloppy wink.
Oh shit. Unsure of what she’s about to do, but knowing it’s not good, I try to kick her under the table. But it’s too late.
“So, what’s the deal?” Her body sways as she slams her elbow on the table a little harder than necessary, jostling our glasses. Pointing a finger in CJ’s direction, she continues, “Is Christina going to meet the fam, or what?”
“The fam?” Contrary to the laugh that escapes, CJ clearly understands her by the way his hand on my thigh tenses.
Beautiful Lies Page 14
