Long-held tears leaked down his cheeks, burning like acid. He averted his face in shame.
Tansy clasped his head and kissed them away. Lucas rocked mournfully, holding her close. Closer. Everything he valued in the world was here in his arms. In the flickering candlelight, Lucas made a vow from the depths of his soul.
“I’ll keep you safe, Tansy.” If it costs me my life.
“I know you will.” Blue eyes shone with perfect trust.
You don’t know that. You can’t. But I will. I promise.
Tansy stared at him solemnly, then rose to her knees and melted against him, her lips opening over his, her tongue tracing the crease of his lips, artless and tentative and more devastating than the most practiced kiss. He couldn’t help his fingers tightening in reflex as desire roared through his brain.
“Please,” she murmured. “I want…”
Oh, God. He couldn’t do this. She didn’t understand—
He had to think. Swiftly, he disentangled them, then backed away.
Hurt blue eyes studied his. “You didn’t like it? I didn’t do it right?”
He knelt before her, clasping her hands, smoothing her hair. “Sh-h…no. You did it right, sweetheart. Perfect—” He fought to calm his racing heart. He cupped her jaw. “So perfect.”
“Then why—?”
Why indeed? When his body raged with the need of her, when the dream of years longstanding was here in his grasp, why didn’t he take it?
Because it was some misguided idea of a prince she was kissing, not him. Not Lucas Walker.
And because he was bone-deep afraid. What memories might be released when bodies met? What horrors unshackled? What if touching her destroyed her defense against recollections of that night? She might not survive it.
He settled for a version of the truth. “It’s been a long day. I’m very tired.”
Instant sympathy shoved past confusion and hurt. “I’m sorry. I didn’t consider—”
He kissed the delicate fingers, looking around the room once more. “You created magic here, Tansy.” His gaze met hers. “You have a gift.”
Long lashes swept down, her mouth curving in a shy, proud smile.
Swinging her into his arms, he stood and crossed to the small bed, laid her down carefully, then turned to walk away. “It’s time to sleep.”
She grasped his hand. “Don’t go.”
Lucas studied her for a long time, then finally nodded. To lie with her when his body craved so much more would be agony, but he would do it, just until she slept. He owed her that and more. Endless more. Circling the room, he blew out the candles. Tansy watched him every step of the way, blue eyes refusing to let go. Finally, he returned to her side and stopped. Holding out her arms, she scooted against the wall.
Lucas took off his shoes and lay down beside her, trying not to touch. Crawling half over him in innocent trust, Tansy slid her fingers through his hair. The feel of her slim fingers over his scalp was both blessing and curse. The scent of her…the feel of her slender curves…Lucas stifled a groan.
Tansy grasped a lock of his hair and wrapped it around the fingers of her left hand. Snuggling closer than air, she sighed softly…
And slid into slumber.
For a time, Lucas suffered the sweet ache of desire unspent, but oh, how good she felt against him… Lucas picked her up and resettled her over the length of his body. In slumber she wiggled until hardness found shelter against softness, and Lucas thought he’d die.
Then she sighed again, her breath warm on his throat, and sprawled against him, boneless in trust.
Lucas lay there, stone hard, sweat breaking out on his forehead.
And fought the urge to smile, anyway. He’d found another piece of the girl he’d once known.
Lost in the mists though she might be, at her mischievous best, Tansy couldn’t have devised a better torture.
Chapter Nineteen
“Luke—psst, Luke—” Al called quietly from the stairs.
Lucas stirred against the weight on his chest, fought his way through the fog. Turning toward the stairs, he frowned at Al but nodded acknowledgement.
Then he realized the picture they made. Tansy still had his hair in her hand as though afraid he’d vanish. She wiggled against him in sleep, and he winced. He’d been rock hard for hours and now his bladder was about to burst. Carefully, he slipped her onto the sheets, then gently disentangled his hair from her grasp.
She muttered in her sleep and frowned. He bestowed one kiss to her nose, then rolled to get up.
“Don’t go,” she murmured.
“Sleep,” he whispered. “I’ll be back.”
She smiled then and curled up. Tenderly, he covered her and tiptoed across the floor, glancing around the room at the mural and smiling.
When he saw the concern on Al’s face, the smile vanished. “What is it?”
Al shook his head, nodding toward Tansy. “Upstairs.”
Lucas grabbed his shoes and followed, unease prickling. At the top of the stairs, he stopped. “Talk to me.”
“Trouble, boy. Trouble’s here.”
“What do you mean?”
“People asking around about you and the girl. The wrong kind of people.”
Lucas frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“Your man, the one you’re hidin’ that girl from? He dangerous in ways you don’t know. If he connected to these boys, it ain’t the police you got to worry about, nossir.”
“Tell me what you’ve heard.”
“Talk is that there’s a price on your head. Stiff one. Don’t matter if you found dead or alive, though. The girl’s to be taken unharmed if possible.”
“If possible?”
Al clucked his tongue. “You done pissed off the wrong shark, son. Tell me how you got crossways with this fella.”
He shook his head. “No time now. I’ve got to move, and fast.” He studied Al. “You don’t have a reason in the world to trust me, but I need to borrow enough money to leave the city today. I swear on Tansy’s head that I’ll pay you back.”
Al waved him off. “I know you will.”
Gratitude warred with worry. “I don’t want to involve you anymore. There’s no telling what he’d do if he found out you were helping us.” One thought occurred to him. “Can I leave her here with you for a little while? I have to make one call and gather a few supplies. I’ll be back in two hours, max, then we’ll get out of here.”
Al gripped his shoulder. “I got me a pistol in the office. Nobody’s taking that girl while you gone.”
Lucas looked Al straight in the eye. “I don’t know how to repay you.”
“Just keep that angel safe, boy. And keep yourself alive.”
Lucas nodded, his mind racing ahead to all he must accomplish before they left. If his call was successful, maybe Tansy could come back to New York soon.
But he never would. Last night’s dreams were just that, vanished under the glare of daylight. There was no future for him with Tansy, never had been. He would get her away safely, but as soon as Sanford was no longer a threat, he’d bring her back to the loving arms of her family, to the life she deserved, not the pitiful excuse for one he could give her.
He followed Al to the office and left his dreams sleeping in the basement.
Exhausted after trying to reason with her father, Mona slumped on the sofa. He’d never sounded so weak or confused, but he insisted that the bimbo was taking good care of him. It was useless to argue with his faith in Carlton. Between her father and the nausea that had come to signal mornings for her, what she craved was a return to bed, to bury her worries beneath the covers and welcome a few hours of oblivion.
But she couldn’t rest now, not when Tansy was still missing. She heard Fitz’s cellphone ringing. Normally she wouldn’t answer, but he was in the shower. What if it was Walker?
Her hand hesitated over it. Voicemail would pick it up, but would Walker leave a message? She made the grab. “Hello?”
“Where�
�s Fitzgerald?” The voice was rough and angry.
“He can’t come to the phone right now.”
She heard a low curse. “Tell him to call them off, damn it.”
“Call who off?”
“The goon squad. Make Sanford call them off.”
Her heart thudded. “You’re Lucas Walker.”
“Who are you?”
“Mona Gerard. Tansy’s—”
“Sister. She’s not hurt. She’s doing fine.”
Damn him for sounding reasonable. “Listen to me,” she pleaded. “Just bring her back. If it’s Carlton you’re concerned about, I won’t let him have her, I promise. She’s my family, not his.”
“You Gerards think he walks on water.”
“Not this Gerard.”
“Do you believe me, then?” There was a note in that rugged voice, oddly wistful.
“I don’t know.”
He exhaled in a gust. “Forget it. I’m taking her away where he can’t find her before it’s too late. I don’t have any choice now.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your net won’t catch us. I won’t let it.”
“What net?”
“I wondered why it hadn’t been in the news. Should have realized Sanford would go for a hit squad.”
“What?” Horror froze her throat. “What are you saying?”
“You expect me to believe you don’t know?” His tone was pure contempt. “It shouldn’t surprise me. It was your family who let him have her in the first place.”
“Tell me what you mean.”
“Word’s out on the street, a reward if they find us. Me, dead or alive—no sweat, I can take that. But when he starts threatening Tansy…”
“Carlton wouldn’t do that.” Would he? “He intends to marry her.”
“So he can control her—so he can have her at his mercy. You’d let her go through that again? To be an ambassador, he has to keep his reputation lily white. I’m a threat to that, and if she ever remembers that night, she’s a threat, too. That’s why I have to go.”
“So why didn’t you ever tell anyone? And if he raped her, why did you kill Paris?”
His voice went cold and hard. “Paris’s death was an accident.”
“So why did you plead guilty?”
“Because—” His breath escaped in a huff. “It doesn’t matter anymore. All that’s important is Tansy and getting her away where she’s safe.”
“No, please, you can’t. She’s not—she can’t make it out there.”
“I didn’t want to do this, but he forced me.” Anguish laced his tone. “We had a bargain, but he broke his end. Now I’m breaking mine. I can’t risk letting him near her, ever again.” Then his tone went hard. “Why didn’t you get her help? Who let her slip away? I was a fool to believe him when he promised to take care of her, but what’s your excuse?”
“Daddy and Carlton had her seen by specialists—” Mona stopped, wondering why she was defending her father from accusations she’d leveled herself.
“Your mother would never forgive this.”
“Don’t you talk about my mother,” she snapped. “You were her biggest mistake.”
“You think I don’t know that?” The bitter defeat in his laugh surprised her. “Tansy tries to make me into some kind of prince, no matter what I tell her. I couldn’t save her before, and I’m not sure I can now.”
“So bring her to me. Please, Walker.”
Sorrow bled through his tone. “I’ll do that—just as soon as your husband exposes Sanford so he isn’t a threat.”
“I can handle Carlton,” she said.
The chuckle was soft and sad. “I thought that once, too. Goodbye, Ms. Gerard.”
“Walker, wait, I’ll make sure—”
But she was too late. He was already gone.
Armand opened Mona’s door, and Kat dropped her gaze, unsure what to say to him now. She’d lost her footing in their old relationship and hadn’t yet figured out her new plan.
“Good morning, Katharina.” He lifted her chin with one finger. “You didn’t sleep.” Concerned green eyes studied her. He was almost the old Armand—except for the dark wariness shadowing his gaze.
Shame made her awkward. Gingerly, she sought a safe path. “I just keep thinking about how scared Tansy must be.”
“We’ll find her.” He squeezed her shoulder, and Kat felt a powerful temptation to burrow into his chest.
But he’d already turned away. Still out of breath from running up the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator, she faced her sister. “I came as soon as I could. Has he called back?”
Mona shook her head, dark circles under her eyes stark against the too-pale skin. She twisted her fingers together and paced, glancing over at Fitz watching some other man conferring on a cellphone.
“Who is he?”
“That’s Detective Tucker. He’s talking to his boss.”
“Katharina.” Armand held two mugs in his hand. He extended one to Mona. “Coffee?” he asked Kat.
“Thank you.” The look in his eyes undid her. Not all her tossing last night was over Tansy. If she lost his presence in her life, she would grieve more than she’d ever dreamed. To fight the knot in her stomach, she sought out Mona. “So what the hell are we doing? Why are we all just sitting here? We should be—”
“Kat—” Armand’s voice became velvet-edged steel. “Your sister is upset enough without you yelling at her.”
“I’m not yelling, I’m—”
“It’s all right, Armand. I understand. I’m scared, too.” Mona set her cup down abruptly and dropped her head in her hands. “I don’t know what I should have done. I tried to make Walker understand that we’d take care of her, that we didn’t want to let anything happen to her, either.” Her voice broke on a sob.
Armand started to her side, but Fitz got there first. He stroked her back, leaning over to talk to her. “Don’t, Des. You did as well as any of us could. He has it in his mind that Tansy’s in danger, and nothing we say is getting through.”
Walker’s accusations had taken up a drumbeat in Kat’s head. During the long, sleepless night, she’d thought about the clipping he’d given Fitz, of Mama and Carlton. An old, hazy memory had reared its head. “Maybe he’s right.”
Mona frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Did you ever stop to wonder why Carlton was always around?”
“He was Daddy’s friend and patron.”
“I suspect he was obsessed with Mama.”
An odd expression crossed Mona’s face. “Why do you say that?”
Kat drew a deep breath, aware of the eyes on her. “I’ve never liked him, but I couldn’t have said why. Last night I was thinking about the picture Fitz mentioned and remembered something that happened years ago.”
“What was it?”
“I was under Mama and Daddy’s bed, hiding from the rest of you to get you in trouble because you said I was too little to play. Carlton came into their bedroom and closed the door. She asked him to open it. He said he would in a minute, after they’d talked. She walked around the bed. Her voice was scared.” Kat gripped the fingers of one hand in the other.
“He followed her. I could see his feet on either side of hers, really close. I didn’t understand what they were doing then. I realize now that he was kissing her.”
“What did she do?” Mona asked.
“She shoved him away and slapped him. It was loud. He pulled her close, and I saw her feet slip. She had on really high heels, red ones. His ugly black shoes looked like they could crush hers.” Kat shook her head. “She sounded frightened. I was going to crawl out from under the bed, when I heard her tell him she would scream if he touched her again. That she would tell Daddy.”
“What did he do?” Mona asked.
“He used some names for her I’d consider mild now. I’d never heard them before. They fought and he said things that didn’t make sense to me then. Something about forgiving her if she’d leave
Daddy.” Kat smiled. “I was shocked when she cursed. She said he could go to hell. That she’d spill it all to Daddy if he ever came near her again.”
Every eye in the room was on her. Even Det. Tucker had concluded his call.
“He laughed and said that he owned Daddy. I remember that word because the idea was funny, owning someone. He said Daddy loved his fame more than any of us.” Kat caught Mona’s eye. “He wasn’t wrong about that.”
Mona grasped her hand. “How did Mama respond?”
“She said maybe so but that she would go to the papers, expose him.”
“How did he react?”
“His voice was mean. He said—” Kat frowned, trying to retrieve the words. It hadn’t made sense at the time. She covered her eyes with her fingers, struggling to go back to that long-ago time. “I didn’t understand. It didn’t fit. Something about us, about the kids.”
Armand’s hand settled on the small of her back. “Just relax. Draw in a deep breath and don’t try too hard.”
But she couldn’t help thinking it was important. “I have to. Damn, if only I could remember.” It tickled at the back of her mind, frustration building.
Mona seemed troubled. “The other day I went to his place for a meeting. I didn’t wait to be announced. He was holding a photo of Mama I’d never seen, and he had the strangest look on his face.” She frowned. “When he noticed me, he tried to shove it in a drawer, but I asked for it.”
She squeezed Kat’s hand. “He said he’d planned to ask her to marry him once he got better established, but then she went to Hollywood, and soon, she met Daddy.” Her expression grew thoughtful. “His face, though…”
Kat shook her head. “What do we really know about him? We’ve taken him for granted for years because he was always around and seemed so important to Daddy. But he’s been pulling strings all our lives. He’s the one who talked Daddy into leaving us in Texas and bringing Paris and Tansy back to stay with him while you and I—oh, God.” Memory hit. She covered her mouth with shaking fingers. “Oh, God.” Suddenly, she heard him again, his voice cold, so cold. Heard her mother’s breath catch.
Kat lowered her fingers. “It was Tansy. He was talking about Tansy. How could I have forgotten? It made no sense, but I—”
Mercy Page 25
