by J B Stilwell
Rick stops and looks at me, his strong hand rubbing against his jaw as if he is considering what to do with me. After that tirade I’m pretty certain that he isn’t thinking about what to do to me. His eyes look weary as he drops his hands and slowly walks closer to me.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to flip out like that. I get rather upset not only by the way vampires are viewed, but also by the actions of my own kind that perpetuate those stereotypes. It makes it harder on those like me,” he runs his eyes over my face, glancing at my neck, my chest then finally back up to my face, “harder for those of us who respect where we came from and the unique bond that we will forever have with humans.”
He steps even closer to me and lays a gentle hand on my shoulder, “A bond that, given the right level of respect, can lead to a blissful and peaceful existence that most cannot fathom.”
I look at him with new eyes, a little bit shocked. “You talk like you know this from experience.”
He smiles sadly and runs his hand down my arm before he slowly walks to the door. I turn to watch him, not knowing whether or not I’m supposed to follow.
With his hand on the handle, he turns his head, “Unfortunately...I do...”.
Chapter 7
All of the researchers begin to file into the conference room. Many people are already seated at small, individual tables. Many people, including Tucker. I act like I don’t see him, but I can tell that he’s watching me. I make it a point to ignore him and give all of my attention to Rick, which was only natural since he is the only other person that I know here. Not that I was feeling a pull low in my abdomen after all of the heated exchange between us. Not at all. Yeah, right. If I keep saying that, maybe even I will believe it.
The confusing thing about passion is that it’s two-sided. It can be the intensity of a carnal attraction that you have tried so hard to resist and have finally given in to - or it can be the height of rage when you are met with someone who is the representation of everything you abhor. I don’t know about the first type of passion, but my mama always told me to watch out for the second one...because it can lead to the first. That is, if you don’t lose yourself in the process.
Rick and I stand in line with the other researchers waiting to speak with Allison. As we approach her, she half smiles and looks at her clipboard. She looks back up at us, “Dr. Allstedt and Dr. Burcham, the archivist assigned to your group is Sarah Montgomery. She is seated at the table in the back left-hand corner.”
Rick and I both glance back in that general direction. A woman with dull, light brown hair sits with her head down, as it appears that she’s reading a book. Rick nods his thanks to Allison and we make our way toward the back of the room. We unfortunately pass by Tucker’s table and although I continue to force myself not to look at him, it feels like he is watching us. I should probably just go over to him and tell him to piss off, but that would probably disrupt the flow of the meeting. Damn professionalism. Always getting in the way of me being me.
As we get close to our assigned table, Rick greets Ms. Montgomery. “Sarah Montgomery,” he states with his hand stuck out, “I’m Dr. Rick Allstedt and this is my partner Dr. Emma Burcham.”
I tremble at the word partner. Although it is technically correct, in other contexts, it can have so many different meanings. From law partner to domestic partner. I am somewhere in between those meanings and psyching myself out with implausible innuendo.
Why can I just not focus on the task at hand, in any given situation, instead of wondering if the closest male just might be interested in me? It’s the curse of always being the law partner and never the domestic partner. I’ve never had the pleasure of being asked, “Can we just be friends?” because that’s all that men seem to want from me. Even in high school I was the girl that a guy considered his best friend, but never girlfriend material. If nice guys finish last, then nice girls never even get to start the race. We’re left on the sidelines to cheer everyone else on, clinging to our dreams that in an alternate reality, we are smokin‘ hot and irresistible. Unfortunately, I’m still trying to live the dream.
Ms. Montgomery stands up and shakes Rick’s hand, “Please to meet you both.” She turns to me and offers her hand. I briefly smile, “Likewise.”
We all take our seats and Ms. Montgomery closes her book and removes her glasses. With them on she looks like a librarian. With them off, she just looks like a plain woman that without speaking would go unnoticed. She shuffles some papers and begins to explain the process to us.
“I will observe your work on this project. I will do this in many different ways, including direct observation, record analysis and personal interviews. With the observations you may or may not know that I’m watching. The suite is outfitted with state-of-the-art surveillance equipment. The exact location of said equipment and the observation room will remain secret. I will also drop by at random intervals to observe you within the suite itself. All of my notes regarding these observations will remain sealed until the project is completed, meaning no, you cannot review my notes or make edits.”
She clasps her hands on the table in front of her and looks at us. She says nothing as she continues to sit there. I shift my eyes to glance at Rick for some sign as to what we were supposed to do now. Since he did nothing, I spoke up, “Can we talk to you during the course of the project?”
She tilts her head toward me, “Do you mean talk professionally or socially?”
“Um...both?”
Sarah continues staring at me, “Professionally, no. I will not engage in any conversation about the project as it may corrupt the integrity of the data I’m gathering. Socially, yes, you can talk to me, but I’m not likely to respond.”
I’m shocked at her brutal honesty. I part my lips to ask another question when I feel Rick’s hand on my knee, slightly squeezing.
“Is there anything else that we need to know regarding your involvement, Ms. Montgomery?” he asks.
“No, that is all you need to know,” she responds.
I’m still trying to figure out why Rick’s hand was on my knee.
“Thank you,” he says. “We will return to our suite and our work.”
Rick and Sarah both stand to leave. I fumble in my seat a few moments because I’m still trying to figure out what had just happened here. As I place my hands on the table to push myself up from my chair, I happen to catch Tucker’s eyes as he was talking to the researchers that he would be observing. I shift quickly and turn toward Rick who takes me by the elbow and literally escorts me from the conference room.
When we made it to the hallway I firmly remove my arm from his grasp and say, “What the hell was that?”
He smiles, “Such sweet words from such sweet lips...”.
I stop and stare at him. I can no longer rely on my usual reaction to run in the other direction. I’m going to have to work with this person, so a different tactic is needed.
“Okay, cut the crap. I can almost get the whole ‘men-in-black, don’t ask questions because I can’t tell you’ in front of our archivist. What I don’t get is you feeling the need to ‘reel me in’ by squeezing my knee.”
He looks a little shocked, “I recognized that you were about to pursue a line of conversation that not only would have gotten nowhere, but would have also been a complete waste of time.”
My eyes widen at him, “Let’s get this straight. You do NOT know me well enough to know what I was about to say to her. Nor do you have the right to decide what would have been a complete waste of time for ME. If it’s a waste of time for YOU, fine. Excuse yourself from the table and leave. But don’t fool yourself into thinking that you have earned the privilege of putting even one hand on me.”
As I turn and walk away I hear Rick exhale and whisper “wow.” Whatever that’s supposed to mean. I continue walking, but hear his footsteps quicken as he follows me.
After entering the research suite, I walk over to the whiteboard and take a couple of deep breaths.
Rick slowly walks to the center island.
“Look, Emma,” he begins, “I didn’t mean to offend you in any way. And believe me, I have no delusions that I somehow have a free pass to touch you for any reason.”
He walks around the island until he’s facing me. “It’s just that I could tell that Ms. Montgomery was not going to be forthcoming about anything so I thought that the sooner things ended, the better. I didn’t want to see you get yourself turned around in a losing situation where questions would be asked, but not answered. I’m really sorry I took away the experience of making that mistake from you.”
My mouth drops open as I look at him.
Rick quickly backtracks, “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. You know that from what I have told you that I can sense things that a human cannot. I didn’t realize that you wouldn’t view that as a benefit of having someone like me around.” He runs his hand through his hair, “I’m sorry. It’s obvious that you’re not the only one who makes assumptions.”
I try very hard to hold onto my anger, but the look in his eyes reminds me of an animal that has been kicked. Scratch that. He’s a vampire, but he’s definitely not like an animal. The look in his eyes shows that he’s upset with himself over how things had went. My anger dissolves, and I find myself wanting to wrap my arms around him in comfort.
I stand a bit straighter, but my voice sounds meek with abashment. “Apology accepted. And I didn’t realize that you were reacting purely from what you could sense with your special abilities.”
He sighs then smiles, “Well, we have a couple of hours left to work. Shall we get started?”
“Sure,” I nod. I clear my throat, “We had been discussing the vampiric form of empathy.”
“And other strengths and vulnerabilities,” he adds.
“What still needs to be added to our list?”
Rick looks at the whiteboard, intently studying it as he slowly fingers his bottom lip in contemplation. I bet those hands were capable of so much more...
Dammit. Stop. Don’t slip into thoughts of erotic pleasure with a man who has thus far been an aggravation to deal with because I simply do not understand him.
He sighs, “My mind is drawing a blank so why don’t we concentrate on each characteristic and come up with ideas of how we could basically exploit them for our nefarious, but government approved, purposes.”
“The sun.”
“I beg your pardon?” Rick asks.
I stare off into space, at the point beyond the whiteboard, “I still can’t get past the sun.”
Rick tilts his body toward me, his brow furrows, waiting for me to continue.
I shake my head, “I still can’t get the fact that the sun is so deadly out of my mind.” I begin to pace back and forth in front of the whiteboard. I stop in front of the phrase “sun exposure” and tilt my head. “Something’s there.”
“On the sun?” Rick asks in disbelief.
I actually roll my eyes at him. There’s the angst-ridden teen again. I turn to look at him, “No, that’s not what I meant. My mind keeps being drawn back to the sun. I think the solution to our problem lies there.”
“How so? We round up all of the murderous vampires and throw them out into the daylight?”
I shake my head, “A little too late at that point. We’re trying to prevent human deaths, not come up with the best way to punish those that cause them.” I begin pacing in front of the whiteboard again. “No. There is something about the sun and its effects on vampires that we can use to develop a safeguard. I’m sure of it.” I slowed my pace, “I’m just not sure of exactly how...yet.”
Rick walks to stand in front of the whiteboard and said, “Well, what we know is that sun exposure causes an accelerated sun burn and a type of dehydration process.”
“Dehydration is normal with prolonged sun exposure as our body fluid basically evaporates through the work of the sweat glands. But the process is faster with vampires, correct?”
“Much faster,” Rick responds.
“And sun burns are something that also happen to humans, but at a slower rate.” Lowering my head, I rub my temples as my brain begins to throb. “A sun burn is basically a skin reaction to overexposure. The body’s natural defense against overexposure is melanin.” I stop massaging my temples and look up at Rick.
He looks at me, slowly nodding, “But there’s no difference between humans and vampires when it comes to melanin levels.”
I close my eyes, “Then that’s the wrong direction.” I try to envision the path that I need to take to arrive at the desired destination. I can clearly see where I need to go, but the road to get there is confusing and congested with different ideas and false impressions. I need something to clear my way.
“I need to dream.”
“Beg your pardon?” Rick asks.
“My mind is too full,” I explain. “I need to sleep and give my conscious mind a rest. What usually happens is that I dream about something that seems trivial, but when I wake up I feel refreshed and my ideas, my thoughts are better, more in focus. For me, dreaming is like a decongestant for the brain.”
Rick chuckles. “I think we better call it a day then. My mind is drawing a blank, too.”
I nod, “Okay, then I guess I will see you this evening.” I begin to walk to the table to get my notebook and purse. I hear Rick turn then quickly walk toward me.
“Do you need me to walk you to your car?” he asks.
I twist around giving him a deadpan glare. I’m confused. Does he want to protect me or is he trying to court me?
“Let me re-phrase. Would you like some company walking to your car?”
Mentally kicking myself for overanalyzing his intentions, I try to approach the question logically. Going by myself may not be such a good idea because Tucker may try to catch up with me. Walking out with Rick would provide a good shield. Would I be using him? Yes. But hey, he offered.
Rick smiles and walks toward the door. I put my purse on my shoulder, clutch my notebook and subtly shake my head. So many misunderstandings could come of this and I don’t want to be tempted by any of them. Then again, I don’t want to NOT be tempted because that would just mean that I’m not worth the effort.
The halls of the facility are pretty much empty. It seems like we’re the only ones leaving at this particular time, which makes me reconsider. “Maybe we should continue working. It looks like everyone else is still at it.”
Rick continues walking down the hallway, “Quantity doesn’t mean quality. Even if we stayed here all day, we probably wouldn’t be any further along than we are now. Particularly if one of us is mentally exhausted.”
“Oh, so our research is dragging because I’m tired, is that it?” I ask as I slow my pace.
Rick glances back at me, “No, what I’m saying is that we’re a team. If either one of us is struggling in any way, we both need to be aware and do what is needed for the benefit of the project. If I’m completely distracted due to hunger, then it would benefit both of us to take a break or else you’re going to be doing most of the work as I night-dream about my next meal.”
We arrive at the exit. Rick walks through then turns to hold the door open for me. I start to clutch my purse to me in an attempt at extra warmth, but am pleasantly surprised to find that the night air isn’t as cool as I had expected. The surrounding mountains and lush trees are keeping us warmer, guarding us from the chillier air that sweeps over flatter lands. I feel safer here. Probably one of many reasons why I will never leave my home. I may not know much about Rowan yet, but it’s still West-by-God-Virginia and that’s good enough for me.
I begin walking toward my car as Rick continues in the same direction. I get my keys out of my purse as I step up to the driver’s side door. Rick slows then says, “Have a good day. Try to get plenty of rest so we can make up any lost time that you’ve caused us.”
I angrily spin toward him, “What the hell? What happened to all things for the benefit of the project and we�
��re a team”?
Rick grins, “I was joking. I knew you would get aggravated if I blamed you for any lost time. That’s why I said it.”
I lean against the door of my car in an attempt to keep from stomping my feet in a childish fit of frustration. “Thanks for letting me know that you’re so twisted that you get joy from causing me stress and raising my blood pressure.”
He winks at me, “It makes you smell better.” He turns and walks farther down the row of parked vehicles.
Huh. Did he just say that I normally stink? I turned my keys around in my hand as I watched him walk away. What I should really be doing is using my science background to develop a perfume that repels vampires from thinking I smell good. I bet I could make a lot of money. And what, call it “eau de rotten meat?” Ugh. What a repulsive idea. I got into the car and closed the door. I really need to get some sleep before my behavior becomes more twisted than Rick’s.
Chapter 8
I get out of my relaxing, hot bath, wrap myself in a cotton bathrobe and go to the kitchen for a glass of wine. Everything that has happened that evening keeps playing over again like a loop in my mind. Why was Rick so confrontational? Is this like a schoolyard thing where he’s pulling my hair to show that he likes me? Or is he doing it because he’s a vampire and views me as a lesser being? I mean, I am food to him. Maybe the stress of being around me so much brings out the worst in him. And what about Tucker? Is he playing some sick joke like the guys in junior high who liked to make fun of the fat girl to make themselves feel better about themselves? Or does he really like me and have the potential to turn into a love interest?
I need to let all of this go and try to relax, but my brain will just not shut down. I keep thinking of all of the conversations and actions and what I should’ve said and done. It’s hard to react appropriately when you find everyone else’s behavior confusing and are constantly second-guessing their intentions. I would be better off just accepting them at face value - both assholes of a different flavor.
