by Addison Cole
“He wasn’t pissed?” She shifted on his lap and her gaze softened.
“No. We had a nice talk.”
She bonked her forehead on his shoulder. “Oh my gosh.”
He lifted her chin again and smiled. “It was fine. He needed to understand that you couldn’t be expected to work seven days a week or to take on the responsibilities of three people.”
“I’m so fired.” Jana closed her eyes.
“Actually, you’re not. He said he had planned on coming back soon to help out. I have no idea if he was lying or not, but at least now he knows someone is looking out for you.”
She covered her face with her hands, and he pulled them down so she had to look at him. He wasn’t going to let her pretend that the feelings between them weren’t there, and he sure wasn’t going to allow her boss to continue taking advantage of her.
“Now, you’re going to shower and dress, and then we’re going to talk.” He lifted her to her feet and patted her behind. “Go on. We have a lot to do today.”
“I have to go to work, Hunter. I can’t spend today—”
He rose to his feet and swept her into his arms, ignoring the words streaming from her mouth as she flailed against him. Hunter. Stop. I’m going to kill you.
Speaking calmly, as if she weren’t punching and flailing in his arms, he said, “You’re going to shower, and then we are going to talk. No work. No excuses.” He set her on her feet in the bathroom, and when she said, “But—” he took her in a passionate kiss, leaving her breathless, and closed the bathroom door as he left the room.
JANA WASN’T SURE if it was nerves or anger making her body thrum, but she was glad that for once it wasn’t desire. At least she had that aspect of her body under control. Who did he think he was, canceling her classes and calling her brother? She showered and dressed, stewing over his actions, and took her sweet time drying her hair, hoping Hunter would get sick of waiting and take off. Although, she had to admit that taking care of all of her commitments had been a thoughtful thing for him to do. It might even border on romantic. And didn’t he have to work today?
She turned off the hair dryer and brushed her hair, thinking about last night and the way he’d said he was taking care of his girl. A thrill raced through her with the memory, despite the reality that she wasn’t his girl. She wasn’t anyone’s girl, nor could she be, until she figured out her own life and what she really wanted. Besides, Hunter wanted to win. He always wanted to win. Surely this was all still part of a game to him.
Then why did he refuse to leave last night?
And why did he make all those arrangements today?
And want to talk?
She opened the bathroom door and listened to the silence. Hunter was gone. Her stomach knotted, and unexpected disappointment floated through her. Could she miss him already? No. This was all part of his stupid game. She swiped her cell phone from the table, pulled up DO NOT RESPOND! and typed in a fast text. You left?
She slumped onto the couch, confused and feeling betrayed, even though she had no right to feel that way. She’d told him she didn’t have time to talk. Of course he left. Wouldn’t she have left if the tables were turned? Heck, she probably would have left while he was sleeping. Still, anger and hurt simmered inside her. She typed another angry text at being ignored—WTH?
She got up and paced the living room, then glanced out the window, catching sight of Hunter pacing the backyard, talking on his phone.
Relief swept through her, followed quickly by regret for the angry texts she’d sent. She watched as he rubbed the back of his neck, squinting up at the sun. He ended the call and looked down at his phone. Before he could swipe and read the texts, she ran out the back door. His killer smile brought guilt to the forefront of her mind as she sank into his open arms.
“Wow,” Hunter said with a laugh. “What did you do?”
“Nothing. I just…” Was afraid you left.
He pried her arms from around his waist and searched her eyes. “Spill it, pretty girl. We’ve already established that you’re a sucky liar.”
“I thought you left,” she mumbled.
“What was that?” He leaned in closer.
“I thought you left! Okay? Geez. And I might have sent you a few angry texts.”
She walked away, and he quickly fell into step beside her, shoved his phone in his pocket, and draped an arm over her shoulder. She waited for him to laugh, or to give her a hard time, but he didn’t say a word as he guided her to the swinging chair built for two hanging from one of the large trees at the edge of the backyard and pulled her down beside him.
She eyed him suspiciously as they sat in silence. He tucked her against his side, and she wasn’t about to fight him on it. She wanted to be there, even though she was struggling to keep the dark, uncomfortable panic from taking over.
When he finally spoke, his tone was calm and confident, with no trace of his usual demands. “I want to tell Sky we’re dating.”
That was not at all what she’d anticipated. “That’s why you want to talk?”
“No.” He looked over at her. “Yes, partly, but not solely.”
“But we’re not even dating, Hunter. Why would you want to tell her anything?”
“Okay, then I want to officially date you, and then I want to tell her. I don’t keep secrets from my family, Jana. Maybe I used to, but it’s not the man I want to be with you. It’s not the man I want to be anymore.”
“I told you when we first met that I’m not the girlfriend type. And you said you never wanted to settle down. So where is this coming from?” The tentative tone of her voice didn’t surprise her. It mirrored the conflicting emotions she’d been battling on a daily basis.
He turned so his entire body faced her, one arm across the back of the swing. He took her hand in his.
“Where?” He shrugged. “My heart, I guess. I’m not good at this stuff, and you know that, so you use it against me. I get it. You’re scared to commit. Hell, Jana, I’m scared to commit.”
She wasn’t about to deny that. “Then why are you pushing for me to?”
“Because every time I look at you I want more of you. I want to understand why you do things, whether it’s boxing or dancing, crying, or dressing like you did last night and singing your heart out onstage. I want to hold you in my arms at night after making love to you so many times you can’t return the favor.” A relieved smile spread his lips, like the words had been trapped inside too long. “Then I want to wake up in the morning and take you again. I want to bear the brunt of your stubbornness and your tenderness. I want to listen to your dreams and help them come true. I want it all with you, and I’ve never wanted that before.”
Jana was sure her heart had stopped beating. That had to be it. She was dead.
He touched her cheek and her stomach flipped. Nope. Not dead.
She took her hand from his and turned to face the yard, unable to think, much less speak.
“You’re not going to ignore me, Jana. Not after everything I just said. Do you think that was easy for me?” The restraint in his voice was like a living thing between them.
She forced herself to respond. “No,” she whispered.
He waited in silence for more. She waited in silence, too, because she was having trouble processing what he’d said, what he wanted. She wanted to be the girl who could say she wanted that, too, but panic spread through her chest like wildfire, trapping her words inside.
“So that’s it? You’ve got nothing to say?” Hunter rose to his feet, and her stomach took a nosedive, reminding her of how she felt when she’d thought he’d left only moments earlier.
Panic brought her to her feet, too, and the truth poured out. “No. I have things to say. I’m not scared, Hunter. I’m petrified. I don’t know how to be a girlfriend, and right now I can’t even commit to getting my life in order. How can I possibly commit to you? And you…You’re as much of a non-committer as I’ve always been. What makes you think we can wor
k? I’ve never been a good girlfriend, not even when I was in high school and it was the thing to do.”
Her voice softened as she admitted what he’d already known, but somehow saying it made her see it more clearly, and she didn’t feel as proud of herself as she always had for being an independent woman.
His jaw tightened. “How many guys have you slept with in the past six months?”
“What?” She shook her head, trying to think of dates and months, and even though she couldn’t grasp the concept of time while her heart was racing and her palms were sweating, it didn’t take long for the truth to become clear.
“How many, Jana?” He closed the distance between them. “Because yeah, I was the biggest player there was, but in the last few months I haven’t slept with anyone but you. Not once. Not one single kiss.”
Her jaw dropped.
He shrugged, and the tension in his muscles drained away right before her eyes. “It’s true. There’s only been you, pretty girl.”
She looked down at his hand as he reached for hers and brought it to his lips. “And I’ve never called a single woman a nickname, and with you, it just comes out.” He stepped closer, their bodies touching from thigh to chest. “And I’ve sure never asked anyone but you to tell me she wanted me. Do you know why?”
The blood was rushing through her ears so fast it took all of her focus to shake her head.
He cupped her cheeks, stroking her skin with his thumb as he gazed into her eyes with so much emotion there was no way it was anything short of real.
“Because I never cared. Until you.”
Chapter Eighteen
FEAR. THAT’S WHAT Hunter saw in Jana’s eyes as he waited for her to respond. Every silent second felt like an eternity. He didn’t dare rush her, for fear of her running away. He’d been a runner, too, but he was done with that, and he hoped to crack her walls enough that she’d consider being done, too.
“You’re so sure of it all…” Jana said so quietly he almost didn’t hear her. “It’s like you have all the answers.”
Love isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about not caring if you don’t, because what happiness really comes down to is knowing that you don’t need answers if your heart is full of the person you cherish most. As his mother’s words came back to him, the ache of missing her settled into Hunter’s bones. He thought about her often and missed the comfort of knowing she would always smile when she saw him, no matter what he’d done the night before. She’d open her arms and wrap him in unconditional love, and he’d probably soaked that up more than he’d deserved. Now it was his mother’s words that confirmed what his heart had already known.
“I don’t have all the answers. But I have the only one I need.” Hunter wasn’t good at deciphering Jana’s silence. He knew she wasn’t going to commit to him easily. She wouldn’t even tell him she wanted him when they were naked and it was written in the blush on her skin.
A warning voice whispered through his mind, reminding him that he was laying his heart out for her to step on. Jana wasn’t a dainty stepper. That smart mouth of hers knew how to trample. But he’d come this far. He wasn’t about to be deterred.
“Maybe I’m reading us wrong,” he finally said. “Maybe you don’t want me the way I thought you did, but it doesn’t change what I feel for you.”
Jana tugged on a lock of hair. Her face clouded with uneasiness, and he feared he’d pushed too hard.
“I…” she stammered, and a second later she found her voice. “I haven’t been with anyone else either, in several months.”
He couldn’t stop the smile tugging at his lips as relief nearly bowled him over.
She took a tentative step closer, and her vulnerability made his knees weak. With her bare feet, the top of her head didn’t even reach his chin, making her seem even smaller and more fragile.
She gazed up at him with a mixture of hope and worry in her beautiful eyes. “What if we don’t work?”
“What if we do?” he countered.
A soft laugh escaped her lips, and it was a magnificent sound.
“I’m being serious, Hunter. We’re good at…hookups. What if we aren’t good at something more?”
“Then we go back to hooking up.” How else could he answer? He didn’t believe they wouldn’t be good together, but he didn’t want the idea of their not being a them in her head.
“So, what exactly is it that you want from me?”
He arched a brow, biting back sexual innuendos. She laughed, and it shot straight to his heart.
“You’re impossible,” she said. “You know what I mean.”
“I want to spend today together. I want to talk about your studio.” If he wanted this to work—and man, did he ever—it was time for him to come clean and let her know what he already knew.
“When Sky dropped off your purse, she told me that you didn’t get the space at Seaside. I want to talk about that, and other things.” It was no wonder she’d dressed and acted like she had last night. She must have been heartbroken when she found out she had lost the space at Seaside, and if there was one thing he knew about Jana, it was that emotions scared her.
She nodded. “And this?” She waved her finger between them. “What do you want with regard to us?”
He didn’t hesitate as he pulled her against him—hoping she wouldn’t pull away and not spend the day with him. “I want there to be an us. A commitment. You see only me, and I’ll see only you.”
She rolled her eyes, but he knew it was a defense mechanism. “You want to win. To hear me say I want you.”
Of course he wanted to hear that. What man wouldn’t? What she didn’t realize was that winning, to Hunter, meant having Jana all to himself.
“No. You don’t have to tell me you want me. Just tell me you’ll only be with me.”
She laughed at that and quickly trapped her lower lip between her teeth. Her brows knitted. “Okay.”
“Okay, what?”
“You’re a pain. Okay, fine. I’ll only be with you, but we’re not boyfriend and girlfriend, and I can’t promise—”
He pressed his lips to hers and lifted her off her feet and deepened the kiss. With kisses like this, how could she ever deny that they were so much more than a hookup?
“I can’t,” she said between kisses, “change, Hunter.” He kissed her again, and she pushed his mouth away. “I’m selfish. My life is crazy. I’m not good at commitments, and I’m not sure you are either.”
He huffed in annoyance, lifting her higher and guiding her legs around his waist. “You’re also a stubborn pain in the butt, but I’m pretty sure I know what I’m getting into. Now shut up and kiss me.”
Hunter carried her inside and debated carrying her straight into the bedroom to show her just how much he wanted this to work, but he knew they’d never get any more talking done if he did. They had one day without distractions, and he intended to take full advantage of the time and show Jana just how right they were for each other.
JANA WATCHED HUNTER as he read through her lists and the notes she’d taken about opening a studio. His confession had left her reeling and feeling a little overwhelmed, and they’d sat on the couch and talked for a long time about things that weren’t as scary, like how she’d ended up in that tight dress and spiky heels. He’d laughed when she’d admitted that while onstage, she’d been pretending she really was Taylor Swift. She’d told him about crying when she’d heard that she didn’t get the space at Seaside and how she’d been taken by surprise by her tears. He’d told her that those tears should have been her first eye opener about how much the studio actually meant to her. And he’d held her when tears threatened again with her confession, and he’d whispered, I wish I could have been there to help you feel better. He offered comfort without judgment. He was the one person she thought she never wanted to see her weaknesses, and somehow, when he did, he made her feel stronger for it.
They’d picked up her car from Seaside and spent all afternoon talking.
They’d talked about his mom and how much he missed her. He’d shared his heartache over his father’s alcoholism, and she’d seen the relief of having his father whole again written all over his face. She realized how he must have felt, seeing her that drunk. Not just last night, but most of the times they’d hooked up, and she realized she’d been using alcohol as an escape, too, and it was time to stop.
Now, as she watched him reading over her notes, she was filled with emotion for the man who probably should have run from her, and instead, he’d not only opened himself up, but he was helping her slow down and do the same.
She’d expected him to skim her notes, at best, but he really seemed to care. He was concentrating, pointing to words, then looking away, as if he were thinking about what he’d read.
He closed the notebook and placed his hand over the top of it. “You’ve done your homework.”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter anymore. Maybe Marco will come back and things will be better.” She reached for the notebook, but he wouldn’t let it go.
“Since when are you a quitter?” he said harshly.
She was baffled by his swift attitude change. “I’m not a quitter.” She yanked the notebook from his hands. Would they always bump heads, even after such a nice few hours?
He scoffed. “You must not have wanted your own studio very badly, then.”
“I just told you that I cried because I wanted it so badly, and you know I don’t cry. I scream and yell, but I never cry,” she challenged. “Having my own studio would mean that I could go back to doing theater. I could make my own hours, my own decisions. Geez, Hunter.” She shifted her eyes away, annoyed at herself for snapping at him.
