by Bonds, Javan
“Corey.” He sounded like a teenager.
This guy was big, but he put off a vibe of being okay. He walked even closer and put out his hand. “Okay, Corey. I’m Easy. Have you seen...”
The Protector stepped closer to grasp the young man’s hand. He could see fully around the corner and that Corey had no immediate reinforcements. When Corey reached to shake the armored hand, he was on his way to death within the blink of an eye.
As Easy squeezed the offered hand, bones crunched. Then he violently pulled Corey from around the corner. He probably dislocated the Pirate’s shoulder when he slung him to the extent of his reach behind him and then pulled him close. Easy had spun around to place his back against the wall and now faced Corey. The young man had just started screaming, these events happened so fast his brain needed time to catch up.
“How many of you are there?” Easy spoke in an almost whisper.
Corey tried to laugh through the pain and it probably came out as a whimper. He knew he was dead and nothing he told this guy was going to save him. The marauder spit in the face of the armored giant.
Easy wiped his face with the back of his free hand and didn’t do anything more than smear it. Angered, he twisted the broken hand he still clutched, snapping bones to the elbow. Corey howled as the pain was unbelievable.
“How many?” The Protector bellowed.
Corey wasn’t going to answer. He couldn’t speak even if he wanted to. The young man only shook his head as he sobbed. The man with a giant mallet on his back put his knee on Corey’s chest and pushed while simultaneously pulling on his broken arm. It started stringing apart at the elbow. Blood was spurting from the newly created stump and Corey let out a shrill, horrified scream. Corey was having trouble understanding the image he saw. This armored knight stood there with his still pumping forearm and reached for the other hand.
The man pulled him close and spoke through gritted teeth. “Fucking tell me! If your people hurt my people, I will make this ten times worse.”
Corey pleaded through his tears. “I don’t know! I just know of me, Mitchell, and Brutus.”
“Brutus?” the big guy asked.
Corey gestured with his chin to the open door around the corner. “The big guy… in there.”
Easy swept the kid’s feet out from under him. Next, he crushed his right knee with a metal booted stomp. “Don’t go anywhere!”
Hammer and Gene could do nothing but gape at what they were witnessing. Easy turning into a rabid psychopath. His older brother would be proud and horrified at the same time. They stood to join their fellow at the other end of the hall.
The Protector waited to round the corner until his backup arrived. Hugging the wall, he didn’t notice any enemies around the corner. The trio started creeping forward when they joined up.
Iron Man and Samus took each corner and watched down the hall. The Tech stayed in between and checked each room as he moved. Two rooms down, no enemies. There was only one more doorway to go. The protagonists moved silently as they signaled the all clear. The next doorway was just before the end of the hallway. Gene was sure this room would contain the big boss.
☠☠☠
Sanjay attempted to disappear into the corner, watching the massive brute outside the closet destroy everything he came across. He wasn’t even using his giant hammer to pulverize the smaller pieces of furniture; they simply exploded into splinters under his bare hands.
The Phantom aimed his weapon from within the closet at the mountain of a man rampaging through the room. The beast ripped open the closet door where Sanjay had tried to will himself into the shadows. Before the giant even moved back to the hanging coats, he made a noise of surprise. Sanjay was unable to open fire or even blink before the impossibly fast behemoth jerked the stubby rifle from the NSG HIT’s hands. The submachine gun was flung away in less than a heartbeat. The monster grabbed Sanjay with his other hand and heaved him out of the closet to land on his face nearly on the other side of the room.
Sanjay turned over and pulled his pistol out of the drop leg-holster, ready to defend himself. Before he could aim, the giant was standing over him and slammed the sledgehammer into his gun hand. Several bones in Sanjay’s wrist were broken as the pistol flew away. Sanjay Patel screamed as knew he was about to die.
☠☠☠
Easy rounded the open doorway and was the first to enter the room. He could see a giant version of Jason Voorhees on steroids standing over one of his comrades, with a large hammer held in hand. The massive brute swung the hammer into his friends’ pistol and sent the tiny weapon flying. He knew that the next blow would be to something vital and he had to save his compatriot.
“Hey, fucker!” The giant stopped and turned to see his new challenger. This guy dwarfed Easy and made the bodybuilder look like a small child. “I got one of those, too.” He lifted the mallet over his shoulder and dropped the scabbard from the end, revealing the wicked blade. “But mine’s bigger.”
The Protector charged The Villain, crossing their hammers. The metal shaft of his massive war hammer thudded against the smaller but still imposing sledgehammer. The armored bodybuilder pushed with all his might but couldn't overpower his opponent.
The brute swept his legs out from under him and Easy fell to his back as the beast stood over him. Even the brute couldn’t do anything more than leave barely noticeable dents in the impenetrable armor as he repeatedly slammed his booted foot into the chest plate. Holding the downed protagonist’s only offensive weapon at bay, he brought his foot up to slam it down on Easy’s unarmored head.
Easy was at a disadvantage and it was obvious that he was going to lose the fight. He gave even more pressure against the head of his hammer and the monstrous man pushed his own sledgehammer into Easy’s armored shoulder. The metal gave but didn’t cave completely, it surely broke skin though. The Protector could feel hot blood gushing from the wound inside his armor.
As the sledgehammer came down against his shoulder, Easy raised the other end of his war hammer. The razor-sharp blade sliced across the inside of The Villain’s thigh. Blood literally poured from the wound and The Protector was confident he had cut deep enough to sever Brutus’s femoral artery. Without immediate medical care, the giant would be dead within minutes and they both knew it. In those last few minutes, Easy was aware The Villain would do everything possible to take as many protagonists as possible with him.
The beast let out a mournful roar as he lifted his hammer over his head to crush Easy’s cranium into the floor. With his weapon freed, the man on the floor shoved the back of the head of his hammer into the stomach of The Villain. The razored surface sliced into Jason’s abdomen as he was shoved away. The multiple razors ripped into flesh and tore large chunks of meat asunder as blood spurted while Jason tried to recover.
The Protector leapt to his feet and was ready to hold his ground as the now profusely bleeding beast hit him with the force of a dump truck. Easy barely retained his footing as The Villain pulled back and swung at his side. Easy was able to divert the blow by lowering the head of his hammer just in time. The Villain reached out a hand to wrap around Easy’s unarmored neck, planning to choke the life out of the protagonist. The Protector turned his elbow in and ran the blade across Jason’s forearm, sending a spray of blood through the air. The Villain automatically recoiled his arm and The Protector brought his thunderhammer up.
With the razor bladed side of the hammer, Easy gashed The Villain’s abdomen to upper chest wide open. The giant fell back and Easy jumped to stand above him. The Protector now sure victory was his.
He turned the blunt side of the hammer to face the downed behemoth and raised it to give the killing blow. As it dropped, The Villain moved inhumanly fast to grasp the shaft of the war hammer to stop it in midair. Easy thought that Jason’s strength must be waning with the loss of so much blood, but he was wrong. The beast of some fictional tale had come to life, pushing the hammer in Easy’s arms back until the blades on the head
were mere inches from The Protector’s face.
Easy cried out as he fought against Jason’s overpowering but waning strength. He pulled his knee back and rammed his foot into the crotch of the fallen man. Testicles ruptured as the metal boot collided with The Villain’s most sensitive area.
There was no cry or spoken word from the beast on the floor, just a great inhalation of air and involuntary loosening of his grip. The Protector forced the hammer back down and gained enough momentum to crush the skull of The Villain in one solid downward stroke.
Easy pulled the hammer back to see a pool of flattened skin, destroyed bones, gray matter floating in blood, and a smashed but still recognizable hockey mask. He turned to see The Expert and The Tech standing just inside the doorway, having watched the entire scene unfold with amazement.
“You two were there the whole time?”
Gene answered, “Well, yeah.”
“And you just stood there? You both have guns. You could've shot him!”
“Yeah, but it was more entertaining to watch you Mortal Kombat his arse.”
“I could've died!” The Protector said incredulously.
Gene tsked. “No, you couldn’t have. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Mo and Smokes, it’s that ‘main protagonists can’t die’ according to the script.”
“What the hell kind of garbage has my brother been feeding you? Which protagonist am I?”
The Tech spoke reverently. “I will discuss it with The Oracle upon our return, but I believe I can now label you as “The Protector”.” All Easy could do in answer was smile and sadly shake his head.
The Protector turned to his left to see Sanjay battered but still living. He walked over to give the man a hand and asked him about what had happened.
☠☠☠
Sanjay Patel radioed The Medicine Man and the cardiologist immediately began the trek to the Forever Young to start medical treatment on his countryman and any others that might need assistance. His first sight was the man on the upper deck with his head almost severed. The next two bodies were in the upper hallway filled with enough holes to strain pasta. Around the corner was the smallish pirate in a Crystal Gayle T-shirt, now cold, having obviously bled out. His severed forearm lay beside him. The brute wearing the Friday the 13th mask and another pirate with most of his head blown off lay below deck in a pool of their own blood.
The Forever Young was in such a terrible mess it was decided that a cleanup crew would return the next day. They would deposit the dead pirates on the river bank for the peevies to feast upon and clean the yacht from top to bottom. The protagonists decided it would be a good idea to tether the Forever Young to the Cora, just in case they needed it at some point in the future. For now they would take care of Sanjay’s treatment and extraction.
The entire party returned to the Viva Ancora, confident they had bested their enemy. This band of ruffians couldn't cause them any more TROUBLE.
☠☠☠
16
Mo Journal Entry 6
WHEN THEY GOT back, my brother told me the story of why he was covered in blood and his armor was dented. I wonder how he’s going to smooth those out. Easy is not going to be able to stand any sort of blemish that others can see on himself or his clothing. The next time he donned the Ironman suit it would look fresh off the rack, as if he had never touched it before.
Gene had some sort of private meeting or séance with The Oracle below deck. The other three filled the rest of us in on what happened on the Forever Young. I have to say, it sucks what happened to Festus. I hate that the old guy got murdered by another human. Not that I would rather have had him chopped up, and slowly devoured by the peevies.
I know it sounds cold, but it must’ve been his time. It wasn’t great that he was brutally murdered; he just would’ve been a lot of trouble in the coming years. Oh come on, you know as well as I do that in a few years someone else would have to be wiping his ass!
It’s like when your grandparents get extremely old. You cannot wish they were dead. But you privately know that it would be better if they just went ahead and kicked the bucket. Not only for me, it would also save their dignity!
When The Tech and his husky shadow emerged from the stairs, they let me know in no uncertain terms that my brother had an official title. I would now be able to call him The Protector.
That sounds about right. If I hadn't already been cast as The Hero, I would assume I was The Protected, or to make me sound even more pathetic and less manly than my brother, The Weakling. Damn, I just remembered Smokes thought I was “the gay” on the day we met!
While this journey has had the occasional moment of excitement, there’s probably only a hundred more years to go. I’m certain we will not come across any more living or ‘un-living’ ‘living-dead’? the closer to we get Ground Zero. The peevies migrated north as fast as possible and I’m sure there are no other survivors with any kind of interesting back story. You can plan on reading more of my boring, uneventful writings for the foreseeable future. Meh.
☠☠☠
After a lengthy conversation with the returning conquerors, that I don’t remember, and I was sure no core protagonists had fallen, I started making my way downstairs. Why the hell did they wake me up to begin with? Maybe it was just to watch my brother achieve total victory from afar. They could tell me more about their adventures after I got some sleep. Yes, I’m aware Easy had already told me, I just didn’t pay attention. And you can bet your ass I’ll forget the next time they tell me.
I finally collapsed in the bed and snuggled up against Sarah who wouldn’t let me do anything more. There was no way I was asleep for more than a few seconds before I started hearing shouting, gunfire, and explosions. Seriously? Of course, The Love Interest didn’t even stir. If I didn’t go up to see what the hell was going on, somebody would just come get me.
I put my boots back on and huffed out the door. The unhelmeted Ironman came down the stairs three it a time. I looked up as he was about to speak and cut him off. “I’m fucking coming! Don’t get your panties in a wad.” Because I was really needed upstairs for some Captainly heavy decisions to be made.
He waited at the base of the stairs and kept pace beside me to fill me in. Again, I have no idea why. “There are pirates– we think it’s part of the same group that attacked the Forever Young–. The boat is secured onto the Cora. And they are still attacking the Forever Young.”
I looked at him, incredulous. I wanted to ask how the hell they already got the boats tied together in such a short time. A more pertinent question came out. “Why the hell are they attacking that boat? There’s nobody even on it, is there?”
He chuckled. “Nope. But it’s moving so they think there must be someone on it.” He explained further at my still confused stare. “The Forever Young is behind us at our five o’clock. The bad guys are on the other side of the Forever Young and can’t see our ship from its five o’clock.” He smiled wickedly. “They can’t see us and will throw everything they have at an empty boat. We’ll sweep in to finish them off after they’ve depleted their ammunition.”
“Then what the hell was I called for?” They already have this figured out. I was going back…then it hit me! I looked at him with wide eyes. “I’m using the fucking cannon!”
He looked as if he was about to protest, so I reaffirmed my prize. “No, not yours. I called dibs!” I was about to start squealing. As long as they were anywhere between our four o’clock and eight o’clock, they were within the cannon’s range. This was going to be fun!
Of course, I didn’t even go above deck. When I realized I might get to use the cannon, I turned around and started making my way through the middeck to my beautiful boom maker.
This is the story my bald headed brother gave me, of the events above deck sometime after the battle.
☠☠☠
“Donning my Iron Man helmet, I emerged from the stairs and noticed Dr. George standing near the bow. He was aiming his sniper rifle up
and in the general direction of the Forever Young. I didn’t realize until later that he was firing the shots over the boat to make the occasional splash so it would appear the Pirates were receiving incoming fire from the boat they were attacking. When everything would get quiet and the enemy would stop shooting, he would launch a tracer round in their direction just to freak them out. Each time, they would again send rifle rounds into the unmanned Forever Young. We even heard some small explosions and started seeing smoke rising from the far side of the doomed ship. I was guessing they had improvised grenades.”
As my brother continued his animated tirade I made a mental note for a later time.
At some point soon, we will need to procure some type of mounted machine guns to be attached to the deck of the Cora, maybe one on both sides of the poop deck and then on both sides of the bow.
“All the suited protagonists lined their rifles on the railing, aiming at the Forever Young and the Pirates beyond. The yacht was going up pretty quick and was nearly consumed with fire. We were all prepared for the enemy to come around the soon to be sunken ship when we heard a thunk and a shake coming from under us.”
☠☠☠
After Easy and I parted ways I could see that the yacht was on fire! It would be completely gone in no time. I didn’t see a reason to give the sumbitches on the other side the opportunity to see us and launch a counterattack or prepare in some other way. We had to take the fight to them. Plus I was going to shoot this cannon first.
I started firing whatever kind of ammo The Tech had put in this thing. It was disappointing not to hear a swoosh or a high-pitched whine as if from a rocket ignition. One of the things I expected to hear when firing an RPG. The nearly invisible cannonball passed through the red hot skeleton of the Forever Young. An unseen and only just audible explosion was heard as the cannonball impacted the enemy on its opposite side. Had Gene used the dynamite from the canal explosives in these cannonballs?
