by Quil Carter
“No,” he said in a thin whisper that even I could barely hear.
I nodded. I purposely had steeled myself to take whatever answer I would get from him. I didn’t want to sigh from relief if he hadn’t; I didn’t want to look upset if he had. I felt a huge wave of relief wash over me though. This meant more to me than I had thought. I couldn’t stomach the thought of them doing that to him. It had literally driven me crazy when I had found his bloody clothes by the crossing.
“They wanted to,” he went on.
The relief died down when I heard his voice turn from apprehension to fear. “But they didn’t have time; they wanted to move the product quickly. Didn’t stop them from looking and touching though.”
My mouth twitched. I could feel my grip on Killian’s side strengthen. “I killed them. I made them suffer,” I said firmly, my voice a low growl.
Killian nodded. I couldn’t help but feel a ripple of rage rush through me. I thought back to the ramp. To the leader and his son. The look on his face when I stuck the machete up his son’s ass. It had been wonderful. I had loved watching him break in front of my eyes. Even if he didn’t rape Killian, he had touched him, he had hurt him. He had scared him, and taunted me. Fuck, I wished I could kill him all over again; I wished that one guy hadn’t killed himself. And the one I decapitated. I should have made them suffer; I should have saved them for Killian to kill. Well, there were still a few out there. The legionaries who left in the truck.
I would find them… Killian and I would find them.
“Reaver?” Killian whispered. I jerked a bit, coming back down to this world. My own racing thoughts had taken me far away from this rooftop.
“Yeah?”
“Don’t think bad things,” he said softly. “I’m okay.”
“Hmm,” I said, raising one eyebrow in a skeptical manner. “How do you know what I’m thinking?”
Killian leaned his head on my shoulder; I could smell the scent of his hair. I found myself leaning my head up against his just so I could be closer to it.
“Your facial expressions change. You have dark thoughts a lot, don’t you?”
I thought for a second. I never realized my facial expressions could be read by him. I might have to be a bit more careful; he seemed too observant for his own good. Perhaps he should be a sentry instead of a doctor.
“I have a lot of thoughts, mostly dark,” I replied. “The less you talk out loud, the more you talk in your head.”
I heard the smallest of sighs escape his lips. “You say the most amazing things sometimes, and I bet you don’t even realize it.”
I scoffed but said nothing. We sat there for a while and just watched the greywastes. Killian felt warm, relaxed, and he smelled perfect. I guess I probably smelled the same now; I hoped he wasn’t expecting that to become a trend. I liked my own method of getting clean: wash cloth, bar of soap, and the river.
I felt Killian’s hand on my hip. I tensed up for a second but made myself relax. I liked the feeling, it wasn’t bad, or as bad as I always imagined it being. I kind of enjoyed it.
It made my heart race though, all these overwhelming feelings I had never experienced before. Or thought I would experience. I wasn’t used to feeling protective over someone.
Killian though… he was like a little lost kitten who had wandered into a deacon den. For some reason the deacon was crazy and had decided to take care of him instead of eat him.
I hid the smile on my face, wondering why my mind would make such a crazy comparison. Well, either way, kitten or not, he was mine to protect now. I could never let anything happen to him; it had caused me too much pain when I thought I had lost him.
Why him? I didn’t know. I just knew that every time I was near him my gut felt queasy. And that even if he was a Skyfall boy, and a bit of a naive cream puff, he was mine. I’d teach him.
And I was looking forward to teaching him. I actually liked having him around me.
I guess this is what a partner was, literally a partner. I felt stupid coming to that realization but putting the two meanings together baffled me a bit.
I took another inhale of the smoke, and slowly blew it out of my mouth. I looked over the quiet greywastes stretching before us, the wall only a few yards from the building. The moon was shining down on us still, coating the black rocks in blankets of silver light.
The road got rougher to the east, lots of rocky terrain, black trees, and broken roads. It was almost as bad as the canyons, with all the places people or creatures could hide. There were a lot of hidden paths in those rock mounds, one of which even lead to the bunker Greyson and Leo had for emergencies.
I really needed to teach Killian more wasteland sense. If something went wrong, I had to trust he wouldn’t be completely useless. Well, this was as good a time as any to get him started.
“Hey, I got something for you,” I said after we had been sitting quietly for a while.
Killian perked up. “You did?”
I nodded, reaching down into my bag. I saw him looking at me, his eyes alight.
“Close your eyes.” I laughed when I saw Killian’s facial expression. The boy was grinning from ear to ear in excitement. Even bouncing a bit with anticipation. It was well… okay, it was adorable. I smiled a big smile, mostly because his eyes were closed and he couldn’t see me.
I dug into my bag and pulled out his handgun. It was a good gun, made well before the Fallocaust and it was in pretty nice condition too. Under any other circumstances I would have kept it myself. I wanted him to have it though; he would look pretty nice with a gun in his hands. The silver matched his blue eyes.
“Okay, open your eyes,” I said. I tried to tone down my smile but it was hard.
Killian opened his eyes and gasped.
“Oh my god! It’s beautiful. This is for me?” Killian squealed. He carefully took the gun from my hand, handling it like it was made out of glass.
“It was a Colt .357 Magnum and it had a good kick to it, so you’ll have to be careful,” I said. I watched as he held the gun in his hand. I made a mental note that the safety was on, I didn’t trust him not to pull it just to see what would happen.
“It’s beautiful,” he said again. I saw his eyes brimming. “Thank you, thank you, Reaver.” He put his arms around me and gave me a big hug. I hugged him back.
“I got it for you before all this crap,” I said, trying to down play my own happiness with a shrug. “I had no idea how I was going to give it to you though.”
Killian looked a bit shy. He pointed the gun at the greywastes and closed one of his eyes, practicing pointing. He was doing it completely wrong but I let it slide for now.
“Will you teach me how to use it?” Killian said, examining every inch of it. It was silver with worn black rubber grips. It had some scuffs and dings on it, but for its age it had been well preserved. It had cost a lot, but I was doing good scavenging right now. Especially considering I would be getting first dibs on the merchants’ crap.
I guess in a way I could have gotten the gun for free. Damn it.
“Of course,” I said, I put my hand over his and showed him how to hold the gun properly. “Tomorrow maybe we can go find some croaches to shoot, that would be a good start.”
“I’d like that,” Killian said softly. He placed the gun beside him and hugged me again. “Thank you, you’re just amazing, Reaver.”
I felt myself redden. I was being touched more by him than I had been for the last year of my life. And most of that touching was prying a high or drunk Reno off me.
I let him though, the mood was right for it. As long as he didn’t do this a lot when there were other people around.
He leaned against me. He had the gun in his hand again, admiring it. I watched as he ran his fingers along the barrel and held it in his hand the way I had shown him.
I don’t know what came over me, before I could stop myself I felt the words escaping from my mouth.
“So how about it?”
Shi
t… I shouldn’t be allowed to talk to people. That was why I don’t talk.
Of course Killian looked at me. I could tell he was trying to hide his confusion but he was looking at me like I was inept.
“I mean…” I furrowed my brow, making damn sure I didn’t make eye contact. “Do… do you want to be my partner?”
Killian’s breathing stopped. He looked at me out of the corner of my eye. I gave him a sideways glance and pursed my lips to the side. I was wondering if I could survive the fall if I ran and jumped off the roof right now.
“Like… your boyfriend?”
I nodded. I didn’t trust myself to say anything. I finally turned my gaze away from the wasteland in front of us and looked at him.
I almost laughed as I saw what I recognized as his ‘about to cry’ face. Sure enough, as soon as we locked eyes he burst into tears and dove into my arms.
“I never thought you would ask me, I didn’t think you would ever be able to,” Killian choked, squeezing me tight. This kid was so touchy, but at least I was getting used to it. I was in for a lot of love mauling I think. “Yes, of course I will.”
It was my turn to smile now. I felt proud of myself for finally having had the balls to ask him. I bet those shithead leaders of mine would be surprised I did it. Assholes.
Killian drew his hand up to my cheek and tilted my face towards his. I hated every cell inside my body as I felt my face flush under his warm touch. The corners of my mouth rose in a half-smile.
I brought my own hand up and brushed the blood I saw had collected around his stitched lips. The goof had been smiling so much his stitches had torn. I wiped the corners gently, my eyes not leaving his.
“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me,” he whispered. I loved how his eyes looked silver in the moonlight. “You… I know you hate sappy shit –” well he was right about that. “– but let me just say this.”
Killian took a deep breath. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been happy, since my parents died. You already know I wanted to die too…”
I nodded.
“You… everyone thinks you’re an asshole, even you… but you’re not, at least not with me. And I don’t know why you chose me, but thank you.”
I looked at him and couldn’t help but smile.
“Wow, that was sappy,” I remarked still smiling.
Killian gasped and started hitting me. I laughed and put my arms up.
“No, I take it back, you are an asshole!” he exclaimed. I could hear the happiness in his voice though. I grabbed his arms and pushed them down. He smiled at me, his golden blond hair falling over his face. His bruised skin seemed to shimmer in the moonlight. He looked fucking beautiful.
I watched him laugh through rosy pink lips, the red rimmed stitches in the corners only adding to his beauty. He looked more beautiful with some roughness on him than he did uninjured. I don’t know why but I found the bruises and blood rather intoxicating, bordering on being a turn on.
With my heart threatening to beat out of my chest, I brought my hand up to his face and rested it against his cheekbone. He tilted his head.
I leaned into him, and slipped my hand to the back of his neck as he shifted into me also. I met my lips with his.
I felt them press against mine. Warm, silken pillows laced with the taste of copper. I opened my mouth and took him in.
My heart seemed to stop in that moment. I could feel his hand on my shoulder, stroking it. We broke away for a moment, only to rejoin again, deeper this time. I loved hearing his heart race; I knew mine was just as fast as his. I couldn’t believe I was kissing him.
I broke away from him. His mouth was open and I could feel his quick breath against my face. He brushed my hair back and looked at me, the emotion and love behind his eyes taking me off-guard. It was a bit intimidating. I didn’t know if I could give him everything he might want from me. I was new at this; it was hard for me to do this sappy feelings crap, but I was always looking for a challenge.
I kissed the corner of his mouth, before I moved back on the metal box I was sitting on. He got up and sat down in front of me.
As he leaned back against me, I wrapped my hands around his waist and pulled him closer. He rested his head against my chest. We sat like that together in silence, not saying a word to each other.
It was a few hours before dawn, the end of my shift, when I heard his heartbeat start to slow. He had fallen asleep in my arms.
I leaned down and kissed his hair, taking in the intoxicating clean scent. I let out a small sigh and drew him in closer, and watched the dark sky start to lighten.
Chapter 16
Reaver
Killian yawned and fell onto my bed. The springs squeaked as he bounced up and down a bit until it settled down. I pulled his shoes off and threw a blanket over him. My shift was over now and he was tired. He had stayed up almost the whole night with me while I worked. I knew he would be out for a few hours now, but perhaps since he had gotten a couple hours of sleep in my arms we would wake up at the same time.
I popped a few pills to help me sleep, and changed into a ratty t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts. I wasn’t even going to bother waking him up to change into some actual sleeping clothes. I could already hear him snore.
I had left the foamy in the building, since I knew we would be needing it again. I grabbed some couch cushions instead and laid them down beside my bed. I was looking forward to having my own space while I slept. I liked having the kid around but I did have my limits. I still needed my own space. Kid wanted to be close to me all the time, he was like a house cat.
I stretched, hearing many bones and joints popping as I did. It was a bit cold in my den, but I wasn’t about to waste fuel when we would be sleeping anyway. As it was I was going to have to make a buy in the next week or so. The refinery fuel we made here from rat oil was rationed too much and I barely got enough to last me a week. I always had to supplement it by either scavenging or trading. I knew I would be needing more soon, playing Mario was a nice way to spend time with him.
I closed the bedroom door. I wanted to lock it, but I didn’t want him to have to wake me up if he had to take a piss or something. He had been running to the bathroom a lot getting rid of the greasy shit he had digested. It was funny how embarrassed he got, like I actually cared.
I lay down on my cushions beside the bed, hearing him snore beside me. I stretched again, enjoying the space. It took me until the pills kicked in to sleep, but eventually I found myself fading out.
I woke up first. Checking my clock I was surprised to see I had slept a good six hours. More than I thought I would. I guess I had the pills to thank for that.
Killian was snoring beside me. He had kicked half of his covers off; I couldn’t understand how the cold hadn’t woken him.
His body was still pale and spindly like it had been when I saw him at Doc’s. I made a note to start feeding him more; he was too skinny. Though he wasn’t short, only a few inches shorter than me, the way his body was shaped gave him the appearance of being slighter than he was.
I put the covers back over him, before opening my bedroom door and turning the generator on. I quickly half shut the door before the light could blind him awake.
I leaned up against the wall as a wave of dizziness overcame me. It had been coming and going since I got back to Aras. Although I didn’t feel the need to puke as much.
My back was healing too, though it itched like holy fuck. I was going to give Killian some of that Neosporin shit and get him to rub it on some of my wounds. I couldn’t smell infection yet at least; I had been keeping it as clean as I could.
I unplugged one of my den heaters and plugged it into an extension cord I had in the bedroom. That should keep the little fucker warm. I closed the door again and started on cooking some food for us. I wasn’t a good cook in any respect, but well, I was hungry as hell and I didn’t want to wait for him to wake up and cook us something decent. At least if I made something horr
ible it would encourage him to cook for me more.
I threw together some canned spaghetti sauce and canned bosen, and put some of the noodly things in. The spaghetti sauce didn’t taste that bad, considering its age, kinda tinny but that was about it. It tasted good all fried together in a mess. Looked like shit, but it was good shit.
Killian woke up a short time later, he’d probably smelled the food cooking. We ate together then played some Mario. He still whooped my ass quite a few times, though I was learning his tricks. Then we took a walk over to the square to get our rationed meat. It would be nice to have something fresh to cook up. I was even going to check on the potatoes I was trying to grow. Maybe we could have some ol’ fashion pre-Fallocaust food. Meat and Potatoes.
“How did last night go? Any head problems?” Greyson asked as I helped him pack up the truck after distribution. Everyone who had come for pickup was slowly filtering back to their homes.
I shook my head. “Head hurts like hell, but the drugs help. East area was fine, absolutely empty though.”
“How was the boy?” Greyson asked. Killian could hear him but he didn’t seem to care. He was rinsing out bins with Leo.
“Quiet, obedient. He was fine,” I replied back. “No word from the outside?”
Greyson shook his head. He was securing the ration cards he had collected from the residents. “Not a damn peep, same with Reno… oh that reminds me. He was down here earlier to refill the quad. He wants you and the boy to visit him on the rock. Says he has the thing.”
It took me a moment before I realized what the thing was. He had Killian’s guitar. Of course he did. I had forgotten about that god damn thing. Killian hadn’t mentioned it either. It had been the guitar’s fault he had gotten into this mess in the first place.
Well, he better like it anyway, I had spent a lot on that fucking thing. Which reminded me, Reno would probably be expecting his pay back since he had loaned me the money. I would need to rob one of my drug caches soon if I was paying off Reno on top of my usual drug habit.
