by Quil Carter
But Reaver wasn’t looking for me. I was alone.
When evening finally came I didn’t bother finding an office or anything to take shelter in when it got dark. I chewed some blue pills and slept behind a trash can in the backyard of a townhouse. Only the iron rungs of a fence partially sheltered me. I wanted something to find and kill me that night.
I woke up covered in crusted snot and drool, no, not drool… my nose and mouth had started to bleed during the night. Too many drugs. No water, no food.
I got up and stumbled backwards, landing back down onto the ground.
Reaver had now been gone for two days.
I got out some powder that morning; my body was aching from being huddled up next to the brick wall. I tried to snort some of the drugs but my nose was completely stuffed up and plugged.
I didn’t even have that to calm me now. I chewed up two of the Dilaudid pills instead and when they started to kick in a half an hour later, I got up off of the cold ground.
Fucking silence.
“FUCK YOU ALL!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. I took a step and swayed. I stumbled and hit the side of the brick house with my shoulder. I could hear my assault rifle grinding up against the stone. I hadn’t even taken it off the previous night. I had pretty much had fallen asleep where I had collapsed.
I knew then I would have to make it back to the quad somehow. I would find Greyson and Leo and everyone in Aras would pick this town apart looking for Reaver.
Wherever that may be… I emerged from the backyard of the townhouse, onto the grey pavement I had been staring at for days and started towards where I thought it might be. Whatever… I didn’t care.
I swallowed, my throat was parched, my mouth full of pill residue. The gross chalk coated the inside of my mouth like bitter mud. The numb anger rushed through me like a river, joining with the hopelessness I had been feeling for days.
Hopeless… I looked ahead, my eyes burning, but I don’t think I had enough liquid in my body to make tears anymore. My body was tired from panic attacks and crying. I had been reduced to a robot.
I let out a muffled sob. I just wanted him to be alive.
I wiped my nose and whimpered. Looking at the next street sign to see if I recognized it. Tempting myself with manic thoughts. They were getting more and more maddening by the second. I blew my nose into my hand and wiped it on my leg. Hoping I could clear it… I wanted to snort drugs until I passed out again. I didn’t want to wake up when I did. I just wanted to be with Reaver.
A couple hours after waking up, the silence got to me. I let out a scream after scream in the middle of the city, hearing it bounce and echo off of the decaying buildings. Every time my voice would break, I would take in a deep breath and scream again.
When I started coughing up blood from my scratchy throat I got a better idea.
I reached into one of the bags and got out the rusted scalpel I had found in the ruins. I tested the edge against my finger and brought it to my arm.
I slid is across my skin, watching a thin red line appear behind the drag.
A sense of relief came over me. I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the pain. It was just as intoxicating as the drugs had been. I cut my other arm, but this time when I finished dragging the scalpel I dug it into my arm.
The metal was cold in my flesh. I dropped down to my knees, keeping the blade inside my skin. I could feel more and more wetness cover my hands and fingers. It was a release.
I let my wounds bleed, but as time went by, the release wasn’t enough. I got up and looked down.
My first thought was that I had really done it this time. The cuts on both my arms were angry and open, red blood dripping into a puddle in the middle of the street.
I told myself I didn’t care, and I put the scalpel away and started walking again. As I did, my shoulder bumped my assault rifle.
How big of a maniac are you, Killian? I grabbed the rifle. I looked around and gave a loud yell… and I started shooting.
I took out a barbershop sign with the first shower of bullets. The kickback wasn’t that bad either, Reaver had taught me how to brace myself for it.
It was mayhem after that. I ran up the streets screaming and shooting everything I could. I fell a lot, tripping and slamming into more objects than I could count. The town erupted in the most noise it had heard in decades. I felt better with every round I let off. I wished there were some radanimals in this town. I would blow their fucking brains out.
I aimed for a partially intact window and pulled the trigger… but there was just a click.
I pulled out my Magnum and shot with that instead; the kickback almost knocked me on my ass. The aim was better though. In the end I used up all the bullets but one.
I paused and looked into the barrel of the gun. I put it into my mouth, tasting the cold metal. I sucked on it like the maniac I was and kept walking.
I turned away from the building, sheathing my Magnum in my belt, and found another street to walk down. My mouth was full of blood, and my body was cramped, aching, and bleeding. I looked around for a building I could die in. Greyson and Leo could find my corpse. I hoped they would find…
I paused.
I thought I would scream from shock, or cry, but instead I froze and stared.
In the middle of the road, half a block up, was a dark figure, standing in the middle of the street.
It took me a few moments to get over the unbelievable shock. A spasm of desperation and joy rushed through me. I let out a sob and ran.
“REAVER!” I screamed, a choked laugh escaping me. I ran as fast as I could, and the figure approached me. I ran so fast I don’t think my feet touched the ground. I was flying.
“REAVER!” A sob bubbled from my throat, tears springing to my eyes. My legs couldn’t make me run as fast as I wanted but I put in every bit of energy I could muster.
Then I froze as he came closer into view. My running slowed until I stopped altogether. He kept walking towards me, and as he did – I realized it wasn’t Reaver.
He had black hair and a square face, with glasses over crystal blue eyes. He was a slender man, dressed in black and he was smiling at me.
I just stared back, before taking several steps away from him. I brought out my assault rifle and immediately pointed it at him.
The man’s smile turned into a grin. He looked down and I realized he was carrying a gun of his own. He held it up so I could see it. Still smiling.
It was Reaver’s gun.
“What did you do to him!” I screamed. The gun rattled under my grasp. “Tell me where he is or I’ll fucking murder you.”
His smile didn’t waver, it made his blue eyes squint. He reached out and put his finger on the tip of my gun and lowered it.
“Are you thirsty?” he said a cheerful voice. He pushed the gun all the way down, and as he did he muttered to himself, “Gosh, you’re bleeding all over the street.”
“Where is Reaver? What did you do with Reaver?” I sobbed. I didn’t raise the gun again. I was too confused and too lost. I wanted to see him…
The man nodded towards the gun. “Put your toy away.”
I felt a burst of anger go through me. “Bring me to Reaver or I’ll kill you. He would… he would never give you his gun. That’s Reaver’s gun. Bring me to Reaver,” I stammered.
The man laughed. His teeth were white and perfect. Where the fuck did he come from?
“You don’t have a weapon, you have a toy. You don’t have bullets in it, silly thing.” His voice was unnervingly happy, almost manic. “You come with me, come.”
“Is Reaver with you?”
His brow creased, and he held a finger up to his cheek and stroked it as he looked up at the sky. I realized in that moment this guy was batshit insane.
“No, I don’t know who that is. I know who you are though. Little howler monkey. A handsome little howler monkey though. I have been watching you.”
I took a step back, still holding my very useless assau
lt rifle. “How… how have you been watching me?”
The man pointed behind me, then to his left-hand side, and finally to a blown-out street light. “Cameras.”
“What?” I looked around, but I couldn’t see them. “You’ve been watching us?”
He rolled back and forth on the balls of his feet, his fingers clacked up against the side of the gun. “You’re very cute. Are you a virgin?”
He held the M16 up so the scope was near his eye. “Answer me.”
I gawked at him, and my chest went cold.
“Yes.”
“I want you to be my boyfriend.” He grinned again and jumped up and down in what looked like glee. I stared at him for a fraction of a second more, until like a rabid beast the cold and numbing fear overpowered any shreds of bravery I had.
Once again I was being faced with the prospect of rape, held at gunpoint. By the man that I now suspected had killed my boyfriend.
I wasn’t going to let that happen, not when I knew Reaver wasn’t going to save me.
I turned and ran.
He didn’t shoot at me, as I had thought he would. He let me run with nothing but a ‘come back!’ which didn’t sound angry but rather hurt. Like I was a pet running away from its owner.
But I didn’t turn around. I ran as fast as I could from this insane person.
I turned a corner and ducked into the shattered door of a building. I looked around then quickly ran into a small closet. I closed the door and huddled into it.
I ripped open Reno’s bag and started downing pills.
Reaver was dead, this mad man had killed him. Reaver was right, we couldn’t trust anyone. No one, no one, no one.
I chewed the pills and swallowed and I cried. How many would it take to kill me? Would it be quick? Reaver… Reaver, I love you. I’ll be with you soon.
I got the Magnum out of my bag and put it into my mouth. I closed my eyes and with one last sob I pulled the trigger.
Click
I threw it against the wall and cried quietly. I couldn’t count the bullets right, I could never count the fucking bullets!
I couldn’t even look at him when he opened the closet door.
He put his hands on me, on my chest. “You’re very dirty and bloody, but soft,” his voice purred. I cringed as I felt his warm hand sweep down my body. They crept down my pants and he started to fondle me, his fingers rubbing my pubic hair before slipping lower.
Then suddenly he retracted them. “I’m sorry, that was horrible of me. That’s not how it’s done. You’ll be my boyfriend though, right?”
I didn’t answer, my mouth was mush. I could only see him out of the corner of my eyes. I turned my head though it weighed a hundred pounds and tried to tell him no. The drugs were hitting me hard.
He looked back and his blue eyes suddenly filled with concern. “You’re sick?” He looked down and put his hand on my chest, and picked up a yellow pill. “Oh gosh, we better get you inside. Bad, Killian.”
What? He knew my name, he knew my name… what did Reaver say to him? The man picked me up, leaving my assault rifle and Reno’s bag behind, but my satchel was still hanging off me. He started humming as he walked.
“Did you kill him?” I asked faintly, but he didn’t answer. He walked with me down the street, humming and whistling as he did then turned into a dark building.
He walked with me downstairs, my satchel dangling off my shoulder and my mind hazy. It was hard to breathe. I felt dizzy and faint.
He put me down for a moment, and I had to fall to my knees to keep from toppling over. The man was getting out a card, in front of him was something I hadn’t seen since Skyfall. A reinforced metal door with a card reader in the side. A red light beside it.
He slid the card and I heard a beep, then the light turned green. He picked me back up, and I heard the door slam behind us.
It was bright and warm. I closed my eyes tight as the light blinded me. When I opened them I could see clean white walls, wire mesh inside plastic windows, each with their own set of blinds, and lots of doors with the same type of card reader on them.
I knew where I was now, I knew who he was too. A scientist for Skytech, but they were all supposed to be gone. Obviously not, he was too clean-cut to be a waster, and glasses were only available to King Silas’s workers and soldiers.
“WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?”
I jolted and spasmed as I heard a familiar voice; loud and more angry than I had ever heard. “You said you wouldn’t touch him!” Reaver screamed.
“Reaver!” I croaked. My heart exploded in my chest, relief flooding through me temporarily overpowering the drugs in my body.
I tried to struggle but my arms and legs were weighing me down too much. I started to cry, but it was hard to breathe and cry at the same time. I took a long gasp and groaned as everything went shimmery around me. I felt like I was going to pass out.
“Reaver?” I whispered.
“Give him to me, give him to me, Perish,” Reaver said. I could hear banging on a door. Why wasn’t he beside me? Where was he?
“He’s about to die,” the man said, his voice troubled. “He took many of your pills.”
“I’ll help him, but you need to give him to me.”
“I’ll do it. He’s overdosing, he’s overdosing. ” Another door slammed and I could hear Reaver yelling and banging but it was too muffled.
The scientist called Perish set me down, and I heard him opening and closing cabinets. Suddenly he kneeled in front of me. He was smiling again.
“Open your mouth.” His tone had switched back to one of manic cheerfulness.
I clamped my mouth shut and shook my head. I didn’t trust him, he was fucking insane.
Perish scowled, then he put his hands on my mouth and tried to pry it open, his fingers digging into my jaws. I felt a flare of anger go through me, so I did something very stupid: I bit him.
This made him mad, and I immediately regretted it. He picked me up again and kicked the door open. In front of me was a chair that looked like a dentist chair in the middle of a white room with a light hanging down from the center.
He put me down on it and I heard Velcro.
He was tying me down onto the chair. I looked around in all directions as he fumbled with the straps. The scientist’s smile was gone, his mouth was a thin line. He looked at me and grabbed onto my mouth and squeezed it. When I didn’t open it, he grabbed a plastic box from a cabinet. It had two cords coming from it that coiled into themselves. They had clips on the end.
Perish managed to open my lips and attached the clips onto the inside of my cheeks. His cold blue eyes were distant and hard. Around me I could hear Reaver yelling something, but he was several doors away.
I laid there, tasting the cold metal in my mouth, looking around the room trying to figure out what was happening. I tried to move my arms, but everything was Velcroed down and even without that I probably couldn’t move much.
“We should show Reaver,” Perish mumbled to himself. He looked in the left-hand corner. “Can you see us, Reaver?”
He let out a laugh and turned on the machine. It whirred to life.
Suddenly an electric shock went through my mouth, like I had just licked an electric fence. My mouth snapped open and I screamed, my entire body convulsing. My brain felt like a fork had stirred it up, it was scrambled and confused. I shouted out for Reaver as I screamed.
Then I felt something in my mouth, it was grainy and thick; it tasted like a wood fire. I tried to spit it up but it just kept coming. Mouthful after mouthful, it dripped out of my chin. I had to swallow to be able to breathe.
“This is charcoal and Suboxone!” The scientist’s manic voice had switched back to cheerful. My body twitched as the electric current subsided.
I didn’t feel too good. I just groaned. “It’s absorbing the toxins from the pills you took! You’ll be just fine! I like you, you’re adorable.” He beamed and pinched my cheeks. I tried to turn away from him.
&
nbsp; Reaver was pounding on the doors, screaming. Could he really see me?
“Keep your mouth open, or I’ll have to make you again. It’s for your own good, okay?” Perish whispered. He leaned down and kissed my cheek. “You’re just so little and cute, I want to put you in my pocket.”
He poured more charcoal mix into my mouth, and I just gave up and kept swallowing it. After he had filled me up with the grainy shit he gently wiped my mouth, still staring at me like I was a deity or something. I didn’t understand it, this guy was insane.
But Reaver… Reaver was alive. I could deal with this crazy person as long as Reaver was alive. He would save us.
“Now we won’t struggle, okay? I’m going to pick you up,” Perish said. His voice was sickeningly sweet. “You’ll be good?”
I gave him a nod, though as he picked me up my head just dropped like a ragdoll’s. He walked with me out into the hallway. It was narrow and claustrophobic with the same white walls and metal doors. It smelled so clean.
“Give him to me… you promised, give him to me. I did what you asked. Let me see him.” I had never heard Reaver sound so desperate.
“I did promise, didn’t I?” Perish let out a troubled sigh. “You may have some time with him. I will make him food. Soda pop? Killian, do you want soda pop?”
I looked at him, but I couldn’t even hold my neck up let alone answer him.
I heard Reaver say shit I think he said it because I couldn’t answer him back. My stomach churned. With every step the scientist made my body feel like it was going to chuck everything up, charcoal and all.
Perish put me down and held me steady until I found my feet. “Get in the corner.” I jumped at the harshness of his voice when addressing Reaver. The scientist’s moods changed quickly, it added a terrifying element to our captivity. I think Reaver sensed this too because he obeyed without question.
A moment later there was a beep and I was pushed inside. I felt Reaver’s now familiar hands grab me as the door slammed. I heard him quickly draw the blinds, chains rattling all around me. Then he held me tighter than he ever had before.
I could only manage a whine as he drew me into him. I could feel cold metal against my skin, and more chains. He shushed me and held my body against his.
