by Quil Carter
I watched him wet his finger for a moment before it went back down to my hole. He started rubbing it more, putting just a slight amount of pressure on the tip of his finger so it almost broke through. It felt good, I wanted more.
“Push it in,” I gasped. I lifted my leg up and put my knee partially on the backrest of the couch.
I cried out as he pushed his index finger in. I shifted around until he had enough room to slip the rest of the digit in. I closed my eyes and let out a high-pitched moan.
As he started moving his finger inside and out I felt my dick harden even more, to the point where it burned and begged for release. I never realized it could feel this good. I had fingered myself before but this didn’t compare at all. He was hitting spots I didn’t even know existed. It hurt, but the pain felt good and soon enough the pain faded.
What would his dick feel like? The thought filled me with anticipation and more nervousness.
Reaver pushed himself up to his knuckle, I could feel his finger curl to hit my prostate.
“Oh, Reaver.” I clenched my teeth. I leaned down so my forehead was resting against his shoulder. His finger still thrusting in and out of me. I wanted to touch myself so badly, but I wouldn’t, I couldn’t.
“Put another one in,” I begged, but he kept pushing his one finger in me. I squeezed his shoulder. He wasn’t answering me, it was driving me crazy. I lifted my forehead up and kissed him.
I glanced up at him, and was upset to see his eyes looked troubled.
I put my hand down to stop him. “What’s wrong?”
Reaver’s black eyes flickered to mine; he looked surprised that I had noticed.
“Nothing, dummy.” He kissed me then he started fingering me again.
I pressed back but then pulled away. Reaver slipped his finger out and moved away from me. His mouth twitched, and I didn’t like how his eyes looked.
“You were never… eager like this before… him.”
I recoiled back, and as I did he tried to stop me but I jerked away from him. I could feel every bit of sexual tension between us die. It was like someone had just tossed a bucket of cold water on us.
“No… no, shit… ah, god dammit!” Reaver swore as I got up. I felt my face flush. I pulled my pants up and walked away. I felt nauseas, and humiliated.
Was he right?
Fuck… I had even had him fingering me… the same way I had done Perish.
I walked to the tank hatch and tried to open it, but, of course, it was locked and the key was by the living room. I gave it a few pathetic pulls and as I let go of it, I saw Reaver’s hand try and grasp mine.
“Come back here, I’m not finished with you yet.” Reaver was giving me a small smile. He obviously felt bad. He didn’t have a censor to stop him from saying inappropriate things, even at horrible times. Now he was trying to brush it off… for my sake. He was being nice to me.
But was he right?
My mind brought up Perish’s face. His deranged innocence, his devotion, his thirst to be loved and touched, his appreciation, his, well, sexual desires.
Had he awoken those feelings in me? He had touched me, fondled, grinded me. I had stuck my fingers inside of him and fucked him like Reaver had just done me. I had felt excited when he reacted, when he moaned, and when he came. The first thing I had wanted Reaver to do to me was what I had done to him. Feel what it was like, experience what he had experienced when I did it to him. The thrill of being touched, being stimulated by someone you loved.
Perish had loved me, I saw it in his eyes. Love and just relief… relief that someone loved you. Someone cared. Like I had felt when Reaver first pulled me out of that pod.
Perish had felt for me what I felt for Reaver. Solemn relief that someone in the world cared about you.
And I had cut his head off.
After giving up on the tank hatch, I walked into Reaver’s bedroom. I didn’t know where else to go so I walked into the closet and closed the door. I held it shut, feeling my eyes start to brim. I felt stupid, but I literally had nowhere else to hide.
“I’m sorry,” Reaver said from the other side of the door. “You should know by now I say really stupid shit at really awful times.”
I tried to hold it back but I burst into tears.
“Can I come in?” Reaver knocked on the door.
“No!” I cried burying my face into my cloth pants. I could feel jackets above me and gun cases behind me. I was glad there was enough room to crouch down at least.
Reaver let out a breath. I heard the door move. I think he was leaning up against it.
“I’m sorry he touched you,” he said quietly, “and that he made you touch him.”
I felt a spark of anger smoulder in me as he said that. “You should be sorry for thinking I enjoyed it.”
There was another pause. I sniffed and kept wiping my eyes as they welled up.
“I… can see why you would think that’s what made me say that–”
“No shit, Reaver.” Another flare of anger buried itself into my heart. “I don’t tend to get flattered when my boyfriend asks if I want to have sex with him because I was molested by the guy keeping us captive.”
More god damn silence.
“Look, I don’t know how to explain it without fucking it up… so I’ll just tell you something.” Reaver paused. “Reno got raped a few years before you came here.”
I looked towards him, even though it was dark and he couldn’t see me. Out of all the things I expected him to say, this wasn’t one of them. What did Reno have to do with any of this?
“By Bridley, the loser I let the ravers eat. He was five years older than Reno, a lot stronger than his wussy name suggests… I… well, Reno was a wreck. Goofy, idiotic Reno was just fucking lost.”
I didn’t know why he was telling me this now, but I listened, feeling horrible for poor Reno. “Reno was this happy-go-lucky guy, and when Bridley raped him he just died inside. Even after I killed Bridley he was… different. Did a fuck ton of drugs, and started trying to have sex with me, a lot.”
“Did you let him?”
Another silence before Reaver answered. His voice was low and I could tell he was uncomfortable. “Bridley made Reno suck his cock. He kept pushing me to let him suck mine. Like he had to do it to get rid of the feeling of being violated.” Another pause.
“I let him and the stints continued for a while, but afterwards I felt like I was leading him on. I didn’t like him that way, he was just my bud. I didn’t like anyone.”
I felt a bit queasy at that, but oddly relieved. I had fully believed they had been sleeping together all this time.
But why was he telling me this?
“I’m not all psychology like you but you suddenly being all over me, damn, I… I loved it but…” Reaver paused, then he just blurted it out. “You weren’t raped but he did, you know, do shit with you and we just got back. So I was worried.” He cursed. “Worried you wanted it for the wrong reasons, or following the wrong feelings. Stop making this so fucking hard for me, okay? I just didn’t want our first time to be a fucking therapy session.”
The more I thought about it though, the more I thought he was right. What Perish had done to me had been another drop of water in a whirlpool of emotions. I had tried to stuff them down but perhaps some of them were coming out like this. I mean I had just woken up. Maybe I was trying to get comfort from Reaver the wrong way.
“I’m sorry.” Now it was my turn to say it.
“Come outside.”
I got up and opened the closet door. Reaver was waiting a few steps away, half in darkness, and half in light. The part of his face I could see looked remorseful. He opened his arms and I walked into them and let him hug me.
To my surprise, he kissed me again, deeply. As I opened my lips for him his tongue slipped in. I felt a twinge between my legs.
He briefly pulled away from my lips. “You just fingered him?”
I nodded, before joining them again. He shifted his
mouth down and bit my bottom lip, before his hands moved to his own sides, and to my further shock he dropped his pants.
“Show me.”
I gaped at him. “Reaver!” I gasped. I felt flustered. I looked down, he was soft. Confused, I took a step back.
“So maybe therapy session isn’t a bad idea.” Reaver shrugged. He laid down on the bed and spread his legs apart. The look he gave me was mischievous, a bit impish too; he liked shocking me like this, I could tell. Smirking, he started stroking himself. My mouth was open in shock but it was arousing me.
“Reaver, what are you doing?” I stammered.
“It helped Reno get rid of the feelings, or at least replace them with better ones. Show me what you did.”
“I… I can’t have our first time be… be that! You just said…” Oh god, my dick was throbbing. I hated my body for doing this to me.
“It won’t go that far. I’ll stop it myself if it goes too far.” His hand was gliding up and down, with each stroke his penis got larger. The light coming through the open door was right on him. Fuck, he was beautiful. Fully naked, bandaged and bruised, his hair now dry wisps over his forehead and cheeks, his black eyes grinning.
His dick. My breathing was ragged. He drew his hand away so I could see all of it. His smooth shaft, two oval testicles with a thin gathering of black pubic hair. Then lower…
I could see the slight darkening of where his hole was. My eyes moved to his, then to his cock. Now fully hard. He was stroking it and watching me, just like Perish had.
But it was different now. This was my boyfriend. Was Reaver a genius or just unable to kill the horniness we had bestowed on each other? Was this therapy for me, or him needing to get off?
Fuck, Reaver was naked and hard on his bed waiting for me. Why did I care?
I walked over to him and he pulled both hands away as he did. I wanted to touch his dick; I wanted to see what it tasted like but I refrained.
“He was stroking the whole time,” I said. “You… you heard him.”
Reaver smiled and put his hands behind his head. “You’re not going to make me cum, not yet. Just show me what you did.”
I kneeled on the bed in front of him and leaned my weight against his legs. “I hope you know how unhealthy this is.”
“What part of our relationship has been healthy?” Reaver raised an eyebrow at me, then reached a hand over and took mine. He drew my hand to his mouth and started sucking on my fingers. His mouth was warm and wet. My mind immediately went to how it would feel elsewhere.
Oh man, he was looking right at me. I think this experience had woken up something in him as well. Though it was Reaver, different things had triggered it. Perish getting raped by Nero would be my guess.
I remembered feeling something stiff press up against my backside when he made me watch them.
That made me want to stop, but I wasn’t that strong. I was weak; too many hormones were coursing through my body to care what was right and what was wrong. Reaver was in a rare state right now. I was being stupid second-guessing this.
I withdrew my fingers and licked them myself before running them down his cold stomach, down to his hole.
I felt around until I found the right angle. Reaver shifted himself and I held his thigh back with my free hand. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest as I watched my finger tease his opening. When I was satisfied with the position I pushed my middle finger in.
My whole body tingled as I heard Reaver take in a sharp breath.
I pushed my finger in and out a few times. He was very tight, tighter than Perish had been. I was worried in that moment two fingers would hurt him, but it was Reaver. This Reaver was new to me, but if he was anything like my normal Reaver… he would have incredible endurance.
So I tried to put the second finger in; it was a tight fit. My eyes flickered up to Reaver’s face. His eyes were closed, his face was tensed and his jaw tight. I pulled them both partially out and back in, all the way in. I could see his teeth biting his lips in pain. It was really arousing. I continued to pull them almost all the way out, then slowly push them up to my knuckle.
This had been different to what I had done to Perish but I didn’t tell him that. With Perish it had been quick and rough, but with Reaver I was more gentle.
The difference now was that Perish’s ass had been well-used by himself, Silas, and Nero. Reaver was… I smiled for the first time.
He was such a virgin. I giggled, then gasped at my own audacity. Reaver opened his eyes and glared at me, my fingers still moving in and out of him.
“What do you find so funny?”
I couldn’t help it, I grinned. I leaned down, still in him, and kissed him deeply. “I just like you like this.”
“Mm, like what?” He kissed me, then let out a little grunt in my ear as I pushed my fingers in.
“You know what.”
Before Reaver could answer I started curling my finger like he had done. I found his prostate and started pushing against it. His answer was a surprised moan and then he cursed under his breath. I started nipping his neck, thrusting the spot some more with both my fingers, I put some weight into it this time.
I shifted closer to him and as I did, I felt wetness on my cloth pants. I looked down and saw a spot of precum on the cloth and at the same time I saw Reaver’s dick. A bead of precum was on the head.
I knew he would stop me, but I slid off of him until I was kneeling in the space between his legs again. I took his dick, hot to the touch, into my hand and licked the cum off of the head.
“Oh, oh shit,” Reaver gasped. He pulled his body away from me. His dick moved away from my mouth and my fingers withdrew from inside of him. “No… no… no,” he said hastily.
I ran my tongue along the roof of my mouth to taste it. It was sweet; his dick tasted good too. I wanted more. I leaned down and put my mouth over the crown. I ran my tongue along the back of the head and teased the slit with short little flicks.
Reaver sucked in a breath, but he didn’t pull back this time. I put half of it in my mouth, though I had no idea what I was doing. It took up a lot of my mouth and it was hard to get all of it in without choking. It looked much easier in the pictures I had seen.
Oh god, what if he didn’t like it? I tried to listen to the sounds he was making. He was moaning quietly and his breathing was rapid. I wanted to look up at him but I was scared that if I did he would pull away again.
I decided to start stroking him too as I licked and sucked on the head. I tried to pull his foreskin over the head but was surprised that there wasn’t any. Which was very rare. I’d ask him more about it, but I knew he wouldn’t know, he didn’t even know where he had been born.
I got a good rhythm going once I started stroking him. It got easier to have it all in my mouth too, though I stuck with just the head and some of the shaft. I didn’t want to choke and embarrass myself. I just hoped he liked it, or at the very least, that I was as good as Reno.
“Okay, you gotta stop,” Reaver gasped. He pulled away and this time I let him. His dick was starting to twitch in my mouth; I knew he was close. I would have loved him to finish in my mouth though.
I crawled up to him and kissed him. As I did I felt him slide my pants down. He looked down and I did too.
My own member was a stiff and rigid, its head pink and dribbling precum.
He put his hands on my shoulders and directed me off of his body. I kneeled beside him, and he brought himself to a kneeling position too.
He pushed my shoulder down and I followed his lead and lay down on the bed. The next thing I knew he was between my legs.
His mouth was wet and warm like it had been on my fingers. Against my uncut head it was mind-blowing. I felt a slight suction, then the sound of his lips breaking the seal. Glancing down I could see the precum gone.
It was an intense feeling as he started sucking the head. Not just from the pleasure, but because it was Reaver. It was surreal, almost like it wasn’t happening. T
he pleasure was good, but nothing compared to the feeling I got being so close to him, doing these things with him.
The light from the living room illuminated the top of his head and our bodies. The rest of the room was dimly lit. I stared at him like the god he was, as he moved up and down on my dick. The tingling, warm suction was making the tension in my groin build. I was afraid I was going to cum, but every time I started to reach the threshold he would pause and just kiss the shaft.
Then he broke his mouth away for the last time and made his way back up to my mouth. He kissed me some more.
To my surprise, he put his hands on my legs. I was confused at first until he started to push them back.
My heart froze, my breathing getting more rapid. He leaned into me and started tonguing and kissing my neck. Beside me I could hear him open one of the nightstand’s drawers.
Oh my god this was it.
I heard a cap snap away from a bottle. It was lube, I knew it. My heart was banging in my chest with anticipation, nervousness, and desire.
I could do it. I knew it would hurt at first, but I could do it. Oh my god, I couldn’t believe this was happening.
I smelled the lube as he rubbed it onto his dick, then a moment later I felt him rub some onto my hole. Then I felt a light pressure as he pushed a lubed finger inside for a moment. He kissed me again, and I grabbed my knees and held them back.
His eyes were full of concentration and desire, his mouth slightly open to accommodate his own heavy breathing. His hair was falling over his face and his eyes as he looked down at our bodies. His hand grasping his dick, my own hard and throbbing against my stomach. I watched as he positioned himself, I could feel the head rest against my hole. When he tried to push it in though the angle was bad, I sucked in a breath but a small cry of pain escaped before I could stop it.
He pulled away by instinct. I put my hand down and directed his penis into the right spot.
“Push,” I said holding it. I felt an intense amount of pressure and pain. I clenched my teeth and tried not to cry as he pushed. His dick was big and thick and I was worried for a moment he wouldn’t be able to get it in.
“Harder,” I gasped. I moved my butt towards his dick to try and slip it in. I felt more pressure, so in return I continued to push back.
