by Joanna Wylde
“What is clear is that this fringe group holds the Saurellian government responsible for the destruction of a large area they inhabited. I can assure you that our government had no reason to attack, and until now had very little interest in the Pilgrims on any level. Now that they have attacked our facility, this has changed.”
He paused, and Bethany shivered, snuggling further into Jess’ arms.
“I wonder how many Pilgrim mining camps were destroyed,” she whispered.
“I wonder how they were destroyed,” he replied, his voice sober. “It takes a hell of a lot of firepower to pull something like that off.”
“The majority of those involved with the attack on Discovery Station are dead,” the station commander continued, his face stern. “The attack on the station proper appears to have been a suicide attack. The ore processing plant is a different story because timed explosive devices were placed there. We have also discovered that every known inhabitant of the station who was affiliated with the Pilgrim group evacuated several days ago. We can only assume that plans for such an attack were in place even before the destruction on the far side of the asteroid belt. Presumably, the explosives that caused the destruction there were meant to be used against Discovery Station itself.”
He paused for a moment to allow his words to sink in. Jess caught his breath.
“There are more than a million people living on this station,” he said quietly.
“I can’t believe that!” she replied. “How would my people have pulled off something like that? I’m sure I would have heard something about it. How could you keep a plan like that completely secret? And why would they want to kill all these people?”
“As a result of this attack, the Saurellian Federation feels that it has no choice but to consider the Pilgrims of the Apocalypse a dangerous and unwelcome group. If there are any Pilgrims lefts on the station, they are encouraged to turn themselves in to Saurellian authorities within the next cycle. They will be granted amnesty, and the opportunity to return to Imperial space or build a new life for themselves outside the Pilgrim movement. Those Pilgrims who do not choose to take advantage of this one-time amnesty can expect to be arrested on sight once this 24 hour offer of immunity expires. We have already put plans into place that will allow us to more closely scrutinize everyone entering or leaving the station. If you’re one of them, we will find you,” he concluded, his voice ringing with controlled menace. She shivered.
“How are we going to get off the station?” she asked quietly. “They’ll know that we arrived here on a Pilgrim transport ship. Maybe we should give ourselves up.”
“No,” he said. “For one thing, we have no idea that they’re telling the truth about how they’ll treat Pilgrims who turn themselves in. For all we know the poor bastards will be shot for their trouble; it’s the sensible thing to do with saboteurs, and the Saurellians are no fools. They’re capable of all kinds of things.”
“So what are we going to do?”
“We’ll brazen it out,” he said coolly. “For one, nobody really knows who that ore ship belonged to. It was registered as a derelict in station records. I simply claimed to have salvaged it before selling it. From there the trail is even harder to follow. I accepted payment for it in cash—”
“Cash? Isn’t that kind of dangerous?” she asked. “How did you know the seller wouldn’t just hit you over the head and take the money back?”
“Because I sold it in the Exchange hall,” he said. “It’s policed by the smuggler’s guild. There’s no safer place on Discovery Station, trust me. You make one mistake in there and you’ll never be seen again. I also bought the new ship there. It’s completely clean, brought in a few weeks ago by a traveling Saurellian soldier reporting for duty. He sold it because he didn’t need it any more.”
“That still won’t explain how we got here,” she said anxiously. “Won’t they find it strange that we appeared on the station out of nowhere and purchased a ship?”
“I’ve got that covered too,” he said, running one hand through her hair absently. “Our new identities belonged to a couple who arrived here on a freighter about two months back. They came to a rather unfortunate end, but their deaths had never been documented. I checked the records myself, before I bought their identities.”
She looked at him in horror.
“Were they killed for their identities?” she whispered. “Did they kill them just for us?”
“No,” he said. “Not that I’m denying things like that occasionally happen here, but that wasn’t the case at all. According to the information broker, they were killed during a botched robbery, and I don’t get the impression he was lying to me. It happened weeks before we arrived.”
“Oh,” she said, still not feeling much better. In some ways, the world outside the mining belt wasn’t much safer than what she’d left behind, she thought grimly. He pulled her close and kissed her forehead softly.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “Their death had nothing to do with us. We’re going to use their names to make a new life for ourselves. That can’t hurt them.”
“I guess so,” she said, still feeling uneasy. “So, now what? Now that we don’t have to go after Bragan, does that mean we’re finally free to do whatever we want?”
She deliberately didn’t mention Calla. He’d been so distant when he first came back to the room, she didn’t want him to turn into himself like that again.
“Not quite yet,” he said softly, He reached up with one hand and stroked her hair softly. “I still have one more thing to do. Then we’ll be free.”
“What’s that?”
“I need to find Mistress Jenner,” he said.
“The woman who used to own you?” she asked. “Isn’t she gone? I thought you told me she was a Pilgrim.”
“She is a Pilgrim, and she is gone,” he said. “She’s also the reason that Calla is dead. If she hadn’t sold me into the mining belt, then Calla wouldn’t have tried to escape. She wouldn’t have been killed. Instead, we’d both be free by now. The Saurellians freed all the slaves at Jenner’s hostel when she left.”
Bethany bit her lip, unsure of what to say. If he hadn’t been sold into the mining belt, she never would have met him. She’d still be there. Or rather, what was left of her would still be there… She—and everyone else—would have been killed in the explosion. She didn’t point that out, though. Instead, she held him, wishing she had some way of showing him how much she cared, how much she wished she could take his hurt into herself and heal him.
“I think I know where I can find her,” he said softly. “Or at least a place to start looking. We’re going to have to move quickly because the Saurellians are going to be looking for her, too. I don’t want them to find the bitch before I do.”
“You know, if you gave the Saurellians whatever information you have,” she said softly, “they’re probably reward you and catch her themselves. You can have your revenge that way. You already said they’d probably kill any Pilgrims they caught.”
“I want to find her,” he said, voice cold. He stiffened in her arms. “I want to find her myself and look her right in the eyes while I kill her. I want her to know why she’s dying and who’s responsible.”
She shivered at his tone. It was as if the tender, caring Jess she’d come to love had disappeared. In his place was a grim and frightening man she hardly recognized; a man who scared her.
“How long do you think it will take you to find her?” she asked.
“I have no idea,’ he said. “But I can promise you this. I won’t give up until I have.”
* * * * *
Leaving the station wasn’t a problem, just as he’d said. After waiting a week for things to calm down, they’d simply filed their paperwork with the station controller and hired a runabout to take them out to the ship. Bethany held her breath until they started slowly pulling by the station’s main defenses, amazed that it had been so easy to sneak in and out. No wonder the Pilgrims ha
d been able to attack; the station all but had a revolving door instead of an airlock. She shivered, and hoped that they would find a way to tighten up security before there was another disaster.
“You can never really control a place like this,” Jess told her as they pulled away. “There are too many people coming and going, and none of them want their actions examined too closely. If the Saurellians crack down too hard, they’ll lose half their commerce. It was the same way when the Empire held the station.”
She had nodded, pretending to understand. Sometimes her own ignorance of the outside world frightened her. Jess fell silent, focusing instead on watching the sleek little ship’s control board. He wasn’t piloting himself, but he seemed to be trying to learn, she realized. It must be unsettling for him to rely solely on the auto-pilot computer. He’d watched the control board on the ore transport, too.
“Is this ship easier to fly than the transport?” she asked after a while.
“Well, it’s designed to be relatively simple,” he said softly. “But I still think it will take me a long time to figure it out. There are tutorials, but I doubt I’d be able to do much for us in a pinch.”
“A pinch?” she asked. “What do you mean by that?”
“Well, there are all kinds of things that could go wrong,” he said. “If we got caught in the middle of a battle, or more likely if we ran into smugglers…” His voice trailed off.
She stifled a little whimper; it had never occurred to here that there might be predators out in space.
“Are we ever going to find a safe place?” she asked softly. He looked at her with surprise written across his handsome face.
“Of course we are,” he said. “There are all kinds of wonderful places out there. We just have to decide which one is right for us. Then we’ll sell this ship and build a new life for ourselves. We’ll be able to do whatever we want.”
“After we kill Jenner,” she qualified, her voice soft.
“Of course,” he said. He leaned toward her, taking her hands in his and looking into her eyes intently. “I know that it’s hard for you to understand, but I have to do this. This woman is responsible for destroying my life and killing my sister.”
“Jess, has it ever occurred to you that she’s just one cog in an entire system that killed your sister?” she asked softly. “You’ve told me that you were created on an Imperial slave farm, that you were born into slavery. Is it really Jenner’s fault that she happened to be the one who bought you?”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said abruptly. Something inside her sparked at his condescending tone.
“You’re right,” she snapped back. “I have no idea what it means to have lived my entire life under someone else’s control. I have no idea what it means to work your fingers to the bone and get kicked for your efforts. And of course, I’ve never had to fear for my life.”
The stunned look on his face was priceless, and without thought she burst into bitter laughter. He frowned; she stood and walked out of the cockpit, shaking her head. Men. They were all so arrogant. How dare he think she wasn’t capable of understanding his anger? She just didn’t see the purpose in chasing one Pilgrim woman—however cruel—around the quadrant when they had been given a chance to start over with their lives. It wasn’t going to bring Calla back.
She stalked down the corridor toward the suite of comfortable rooms that formed the bulk of the small ship’s living space. She’d noticed a console in there earlier; perhaps the ship had a library. She needed a distraction.
* * * * *
Jess gazed after her as she left, utterly confused. How had he become the bad guy? How had a conversation about his suffering ended with him feeling like such an ass?
Of course she knew what suffering was about, he thought angrily. How could she doubt that he understood what kind of pain she had experienced? But her suffering was over; the men who had hurt her were dead. She had her vengeance; it was easy for her to move on.
He couldn’t just let Jenner get away with what she had done to destroy him and Calla. She had sold him to the miners deliberately, he knew that. She’d wanted him dead; he knew too many of her dirty little secrets. Sooner or later he would have embarrassed her. Still, he’d thought there was more time.
He shook his head. No point in wishing he could go back. Calla was dead. Jenner had to pay. It was simple enough, so why didn’t Bethany understand? Damn woman.
He sat there for several more minutes, trying to concentrate on following the control board as the auto-pilot propelled them to the edges of the system. Once they were good and clear, it would initiate a jump through hyperspace. Not for the first time, he marveled at the technology that made travel across the vast reaches of space possible.
But the computer couldn’t hold his attention forever, and his thoughts kept turning back to Bethany. She had been so upset when she left. He hated seeing her that way. He loved it when her face turned to his with a smile. She had a special way of looking at him that made him feel as if everything in the world was just right. When he came into a room she was always happy to see him. She would jump up and run over to him, giving him kisses interspersed with a thousand questions about some new aspect of life outside the asteroid belt.
None of that life had been in her face when she’d left him. He shook his head and sighed, leaning back in his chair. He needed to go and talk to her.
Leaving the auto-pilot to its mysterious tasks, he walked slowly down the corridor toward their living quarters. For a small ship, it was extremely comfortable. Three sleeping chambers, a sizeable fresher, living area and galley. There was even a small exercise room. Even more amazing to him was that they owned this lovely little vessel. Between the ore shipment and selling the freighter itself, they had done quite well financially. He realized he probably had more money at his disposal than Jenner did. It was a comforting thought. He entered the living area. Bethany was sitting in the living area before the main data terminal. She had to have heard him walk in, but she ignored him. He came to stand behind her, studying what she was doing. She seemed to be scrolling through a history text written in Basic.
“I didn’t know whether you could read or not,” he said.
She spoke curtly. “While the Pilgrim educational system is not particularly good, we do learn to read,” she said.
Damn, he’d said the wrong thing. Now she was even more offended.
“We also took Basic arithmetic and computer programming,” she said quieter. “It’s fairly difficult to live on a mining station filled with complex equipment like recyclers and our hydroponics gardens without a little bit of education. Of course, I’m sure it’s not up to your standards.”
“I didn’t mean to sound so insulting,” he said, bringing his hands up to rest them lightly against her shoulders. She didn’t respond, so he started to slowly knead. The muscles were tight beneath his touch; she wasn’t going to make this easy.
“I’m also sorry about our discussion in the cockpit,” he said. “It was wrong of me to belittle what you’ve been through. We’re both survivors of slavery, just different kinds.”
“I’m glad you realize that,” she said. He continued kneading her shoulders, feeling some of the tension leave her body. Against his will, he could feel himself growing aroused. The smell of her hair wafted up toward him, and he inhaled deeply. A second later he wished he hadn’t. His pants were suddenly too tight and he shifted uncomfortably. She seemed to be completely unaware of his arousal, continuing to scroll through the text before her. The silence between them lengthened, and he shifted again.
“Will you accept my apology?” he said finally. She shrugged her shoulders, and something in him snapped. He needed her forgiveness. He swiveled her chair around and knelt before her. Then he took each of her hands in his and looked directly into her face. She stared back, eyes questioning and a little surprised.
“I’m truly sorry,” he said softly. She nodded her head at him, and he smiled.
Then leaning forward, he kissed her gently on the lips.
It was a sweet kiss, almost passionless at first. At least on her part. His entire body clamored for him to pull her down, to jump on her and take her. He fought the urge, knowing it would be a terrible mistake. He wanted whatever happened between them next to come from her. He wanted her to acknowledge what he said, to let him know she understood his meaning deep down inside.
He held back a surge of triumph as she leaned forward into the kiss, deepening it slightly. It was still soft, and both of their mouths were still closed. But she was responding, nuzzling at his mouth just as he was nuzzling at hers.
They stayed that way for several minutes, and then he ended the kiss. He leaned his head against her chest, reaching both arms around her slender form to pull her close. She was soft, warm. His. He still wanted her, but that initial physical urgency had disappeared in a rush of emotion. He didn’t want to simply roll her beneath him, to take her body with his.
He wanted to be close to her. Bethany. Close to whatever it was about her that had scared him so much a moment earlier when she hadn’t wanted to talk to him.
Holding her made everything feel right again.
He could feel her fingers in his hair, stroking gently down, and then she kissed the top of his head. She shivered, then pulled him tightly against her body. He could feel her shaking, and pulled away to see what was wrong.
She was crying.
A feeling of helplessness washed over him, and he tucked himself back against her, stroking her back in what he hoped was a comforting way.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry I hurt you. Please stop crying, Bethany. I won’t do it again, I promise.”
