by Joanna Wylde
She flicked through several more information channels, then took a deep breath. She was feeling sick to her stomach again. Lately it seemed like she was sick all the time, although she’d tried to hide it from Jess. She knew he would worry about her, but she was fine. It was just a little stomach trouble.
Standing carefully, she made her way into the fresher and knelt before the waste unit. Within seconds it came. A flood of vomit rushed out of her, sickening her further with its smell. Usually it stopped with that, but this time it was worse. Her stomach heaved again and again, and resentment for Jess’ lack of trust built in her. The stress of being locked up every time they came into port was probably responsible for her illness.
Two hours later she wasn’t so sure. She had never felt so sick in her life. She had long run out of anything to vomit, yet the heaves kept coming. Shaking and weak, she stood up and stumbled out into the main room. Time to consult the auto-doc; this was ridiculous.
The complex machine was located in a closet-sized storage area between two of the bedrooms. Neither of them had used it, although Jess had pointed it out to her not long after they first came onto the ship. Fortunately, it was designed to be simple to operate. There were a series of instructions with pictures detailing how to turn it on. She followed them and was rewarded when the unit blinked to life and a cool voice asked, “How may I help you?”
“I’m feeling sick,” she said. “I’ve been vomiting.”
“Please disrobe and seat yourself in the unit for an examination,” the voice replied. A panel slid open, revealing a reclining chair/bed. She slid out of her clothing and climbed into it carefully, feeling somewhat intimidated.
As soon as she was seated, the voice spoke again.
“I will now close the panel door and begin the examination,” the voice said. “Please lie back and relax. I will need to take several tissue samples. A sleeve will now enclose your right arm, facilitating this.”
Before she had time to protest, her arm was wrapped in a metal sleeve. The lights dimmed, and soothing music started to play. She hardly noticed as the panel slid shut, enclosing her fully within the unit.
Her seat reclined back and she noticed a tangy scent in the air. Then she was drifting to sleep. Her last thought was a vague hope that Jess wouldn’t come back while she was still in here. He’d probably think she ran away…
* * * * *
Bethany yawned and stretched. Strange, her bed didn’t feel like it usually did. There was music playing, too.
“Please remain in the examination chair until you are fully awake,” a smooth, emotionless voice said. Her eyes popped open; she tried to remember where she was. In the auto-doc. She shifted, and felt slight discomfort in several places. What had the damned thing done to her while she was out?
“I have your examination results,” the auto-doc said. “All system functions appear to be normal and within regular parameters. Fetal system functions are normal as well.”
“Fetal?” she asked, growing suddenly still. “Are you saying I’m pregnant?”
“Pregnancy is confirmed,” the machine replied. “Fetus age is estimated at six weeks.”
“How is that possible?” she asked. The machine hummed for a second, then spoke again.
“Please refine question.”
“How is it that I am pregnant?”
“Pregnancy appears to be the result of sexual intercourse, although further examination would be required to rule out artificial insemination,” the machine responded. She burst out laughing.
“I know how people get pregnant,” she said after a moment, wiping her eyes. She felt light-headed, out of breath. She raised one hand to her stomach, trying to feel something. Everything was just as it always was. She frowned, trying to remember her last menstrual period. When had it been?
“I had been under the impression that I was infertile,” she said finally.
“Nothing in my tests indicates that you have ever been infertile,” the auto-doc replied emotionlessly. “The diagnosis was incorrect.”
The diagnosis was incorrect. But how? So many years she and Avram had lived together. He’d had children with his previous wives; why not her?
She sighed, realizing she would probably never have an answer to that question. Moving creakily, she rolled out of the chair and stepped out of the auto-doc.
Pulling on her clothing, everything seemed unreal. She was going to have a baby. Jess’ baby. It was so amazing, so beautiful that she felt like crying. She drifted out into the main room, wanting to tell him. Wanting to tell someone, anyone, about the miracle taking place in her belly.
Unfortunately, she was still completely alone.
Unable to contain herself, she wrapped both arms around her body and whooped, squeezing herself tightly. If only he was here. They would hold each other, talk about the child. Would it be a boy or a girl, she wondered? Would it look like him? She rubbed her stomach again, mind filling with possibilities. This was so much better than anything she could have imagined; they would have a child together. Perhaps more than one. Neither of them had ever had a real family, but they would make one now.
This chasing of Jenner had to end, though. They needed to find a place to live, a way to support themselves. He kept insisting that they had plenty of money, but she wasn’t so sure. It couldn’t last forever. Beside that, it was one thing to traipse half-way across known space in search of vengeance with only themselves to think of; it was quite another to drag a child around like that. They didn’t even have the kinds of supplies they would need for a baby. She wanted a home of some sort, a real home. And a real doctor, she thought darkly. There was no way she wanted that talking closet to examine her baby, let alone deliver it.
She and Jess were going to have a talk when he got back. He needed to choose. He’d get either his revenge or her, not both. She had to get firm with him because it wasn’t just about the two of them any more.
* * * * *
Jess stalked across the port, bitter anger seeping from every pore of his body. She had been here. Just days earlier she’d left; he’d been so close to her that he could still smell her foul, unwashed body with every breath he took. Bitch.
At least he had a good lead, though. There was no way she’d get away from him this time. She was headed to Jezra, and from there to Karos, the Pilgrim homeworld. He had to catch her before she left Jezra, though. Karos crawled with Pilgrims, and the last thing he wanted to do was surround himself with more of those foul snakes.
He caught a shuttle out to the pad where the ship was docked. It had taken him less than a day to track down his information; hopefully Bethany wasn’t going to be too angry with him, although he wasn’t betting on it. He could understand her feelings; of all people, he knew what it felt like to lose one’s freedom. He hated being contained, subject to the will of another. But the thought of her leaving him made his heart clench. She told him she wouldn’t do it. She assured him again and again, but he couldn’t bring himself to trust her completely. He wanted to, but he couldn’t quite do it. If he was wrong, the penalty was simply too high.
The transport latched on to the ship’s airlock, and a moment later he stepped inside. There was a slight whooshing noise as it cycled shut, and then he entered the main corridor. It only took a few strides to reach the locked living quarters and open the door. She jumped up, her face glowing and excited. He paused, confused and immediately suspicious. Why was she so happy to see him? Usually she was spitting mad after he’d locked her up.
“Jess,” she called, running up to him. She grabbed both of his hands with hers, and squeezed them. “I have wonderful news, Jess. We’re going to have a baby. I’m pregnant.”
He froze, completely shocked. Her lovely green eyes, bright with hope and excitement, looked up at him expectantly, and the meaning of her words filtered through his consciousness. They were going to have a baby.
He pulled her close, kissing her. She was laughing, and to his shock he realized moisture
was collecting in his eyes. Then he pulled her up into his arms and swung her around, whooping. A baby. A little piece of him and Bethany.
She shrieked with laughter and pounded against him until he set her down, and they leaned against each other breathlessly.
“How long?” he asked.
“The auto-doc says I’m six weeks along,” she said. “That gives us plenty of time to find a place to live.”
He nodded, mind moving quickly.
“It will only take a few more weeks to track down Jenner,” he said. “I’ve already been thinking about where we should…” His voice trailed off as he realized she had stiffened in his arms.
“Jess, you have to give this up,” she said softly.
“What do you mean?”
“You have to give up this hunt you’re on,” she said. Her eyes searched his anxiously. “We’re going to have a child, Jess. Taking care of that child has to be our primary responsibility.”
Some of the joy faded as he realized what she was saying.
“Bethany, I know where Jenner is,” he said. “She’s on her way to Jezra; she only left a few days ago. All we have to do is go there and get her. Then we’ll be free.”
“We’re free already,” she said, shaking her head. “If we keep chasing after her, who knows how much longer it will take.”
“Two weeks,” he repeated. “All we need is two more weeks.”
“You thought she would be here,” Bethany countered. “You swore to me that she would be here, that we’d be finished with this by now. You have no way of knowing whether she’ll be there or not, do you?”
“If she’s not there then she’ll be on Karos.”
“Karos?” Bethany exclaimed, her tone rising in distress. “That’s half way across the Empire. I’ve been studying, you know. I know where things are. It’s also the Pilgrim homeworld. You’ll have no way of getting to her there. You’ll stick out; they’ll catch you immediately. There is no way I’ll allow you to take me to Karos”
“You don’t allow me to do anything,” he said, his emotions twisting and turning so quickly he could hardly keep up. “I’m the one in charge. You do what I say.”
She stood back from him, both hands planted on her hips.
“Are you prepared to be a father to this child?” she asked. “Because if you are, then you have no business following some damn stupid quest for revenge. You’ll get yourself killed, and then where will we be? Where will your child be?”
He shook his head, forcibly restraining himself from reaching out and shaking her. She just didn’t understand. He had to find Jenner. He had to make her pay for what she’d done to him, to Calla; if he didn’t, she would haunt him forever.
“I see you’re more interested in getting your revenge than taking care of your family,” Bethany said quietly, her face bleak. She turned and walked away from him. He strode after her, grabbing her arm. She stiffened, glaring at him until he let her go.
“I would prefer to sleep in one of the other rooms tonight,” she said. “I’ve been feeling sick, and I think we’d both be more comfortable that way.”
She was lying; she just wanted to get away from him. He opened his mouth to disagree with her, then closed it slowly. She was right. It was better to take a little time and let their emotions cool off. They could discuss things again in the morning. He had too much to think about right now, and the last thing he wanted to do was say something he’d regret.
Nodding abruptly, he turned away from her. She disappeared into one of the rooms, and he wandered over to the kitchen to grab some food. His thoughts moved at a thousand miles per second. There was a baby growing in her belly, his baby. They were going to be a family.
His frustration fled before the thought, and a silly grin came across his face. Grabbing a meat roll, he wandered into his room and flopped down on the bed.
He was going to be a daddy. Life was good.
* * * * *
Bethany sat and brushed her hair. Again and again she pulled the brush through the brown locks, the childhood ritual comforting in its familiarity. It was much shorter now, a remnant of what she’d once had. She smiled wryly, remembering how afraid she’d been when Jess had whipped out that enormous knife and cut her free with it. She knew now he would never deliberately hurt her, at least not physically. She’d thought he was going to kill her back then, but what he’d done instead was far more devious. He’d made her fall in love with him and now he was ripping her heart out.
She had been patient with his quest. She didn’t like chasing Jenner, but she liked being with Jess. She understood he had his demons to lay to rest. But it wasn’t just about her anymore—it was about their baby. After the first euphoria of discovery had worn off earlier that afternoon, she’d given her situation a lot of thought. She knew how determined Jess was to find and kill Jenner. She also knew that she and her child wouldn’t be safe on such a quest, especially if that quest led them to Karos. She’d given him his chance to accept the baby and give up his hatred, but he had thrown in back in her face.
She was going to have to leave him.
A traitorous part of her mind whispered at her to stay, to give him another chance. After all, he might be right. Jenner might be at the next port they visited. Or she might not be there. Then what? They would go on to Karos, the root of all Pilgrim activity. Just the thought of it made her shiver in horror. He was almost sure to be captured there, and if he were captured, she would be, too. She would probably live; they would see value in a pregnant woman. But there was no way she’d risk such a life for her child, not after she’d seen what the other options were. She was going to have her baby in freedom. Her baby wouldn’t grow up to be a Pilgrim no matter what she had to do, no matter how painful it would be.
Standing, she pulled her hair back out of the way and fastened it carefully. She stood, stretched, and took a minute to breath deeply, calming herself for the task ahead. She already had what she needed hidden in one of the drawers. It only took a second to get it out and slide it into her pocket.
She opened the door and stepped into the main room. As she suspected, he had already gone to bed. He had to be tired after his hunt; he always was. That, combined with the sedative she’d dribbled over his meat rool, would be enough to weaken him. She took another deep breath and forced a calm smile on to her face. Time to face him.
She opened the door to the suite they usually shared. A small, dim light glowed against one of the walls. He had fixed it there for her, she remembered painfully. One night she’d tried to go to the fresher and tripped. He hadn’t mentioned it beyond checking to see if she was all right, but the next night the little light had been glowing. He was so thoughtful of her needs. How was it that he could be oblivious to the fact that his woman and child needed him now?
She shook her head, pushing the thoughts away. Time to focus on her task.
He was lying in bed, apparently asleep, but as she approached his eyes cracked open.
“Bethany?” he asked. He reached out one arm for her, struggling to sit up. Her heart clenched again.
“Yes, it’s me,” she said softly, coming to sit next to him. He tried to sit up again but couldn’t.
“Sorry, I’m just so tired,” he whispered, voice trailing off. “I don’t know why I feel this way.”
“Don’t worry,” she said. “It’s all going to be fine.” she leaned over and kissed him on the lips. Then, before she could change her mind, she slipped the air-syringe the auto-doc had prepared to her specifications earlier and pressed it against his upper arm. Confusion registered in his eyes as it pierced his skin, but the sedative was fast acting. Within seconds he was completely out.
To her disgust, she could feel tears welling up in her traitorous eyes. She didn’t want to leave him like this. She didn’t want to leave him at all. You don’t have a choice, she reminded herself. It’s not about you any more; it’s about the baby.
Quickly, she left the room and retrieved the small bag sh
e’d packed earlier. She’d put her time at the data terminal to good use. She already knew the time and place of departure for the Grandal, a freighter bound deep into Saurellian territory. It would be slow but safe. Jess had never bothered hiding his stash of credit vouchers from her, so money was no issue. She pawed through the pile of vouchers, trying to decide how much she should take. She wanted to leave him plenty to continue his quest, but at the same time she had to be sure there was enough money for her and the baby. Finally she simply scooped half into her bag, hoping it would be enough. She didn’t really know how much things cost anyway, she realized. She had so much to learn it was frightening at times.
Stepping through the door of the living area into the main corridor, she made her way quickly to the cockpit. This was the hard part—she’d seen him call out on the radio several times, but she wasn’t even quite sure how to turn the thing on. She fiddled with several dials and knobs before a soft voice spoke.
“This is the ship’s computer. May I be of assistance?”
She jumped, then laughed nervously. How silly she was. The computer would call a transport for her.
“I need a transport to the Grandal,” she said. “Can you arrange that?”
“Certainly,” the computer said. It fell silent, although several lights on the flickering display flashed. “Transportation has been arranged. Please go to the airlock and I will inform you when transportation arrives.”
“Thank you,” she said, running one hand over her hair nervously. It was so strange to be leaving the ship without Jess. She just hoped she was able to take care of herself.
Don’t be a ninny, she thought firmly. Of course she would be able to take care of herself. She didn’t have a choice; the baby needed her.
She left the cockpit and walked down to the airlock. The wait seemed to last forever. Was something wrong? She kept looking nervously toward the door to the living quarters, a part of her expecting Jess to burst out any minute. That was ridiculous, of course. He would be asleep for at least twenty-four hours. The auto-doc had assured her of it.
