by Andrew Grey
“What happens?” Javi asked. “Does she die?”
“Not on screen. Though she does eventually die. His cancer comes back. That’s the kicker. They were prepared for her to go, but not him. But she survived it, at least as far as the movie went. And I figure if she can survive the loss of her best friend, and love, then I’ll figure out a way to do it too.”
Javi blinked. “How can I be your best friend?”
Foster shook his head, chuckling. “That’s what you got from what I just said?”
“No. But I can understand how you love me, because I love you. But I don’t understand how I can be your best friend. You’ve lived here all your life. There have to be others you’ve known for years. People you’re close to.”
“Not really. I had people I was friends with in school, but they went on to college. I stayed in touch with some of them, but I ended up on a different path. They’ve all graduated now and gone on to bigger things. I’m still here, milking cows like I have all my life. Besides, I feel like I can tell you anything.”
“Yeah?” Javi asked. “Then tell me something no one else knows.”
Foster thought. “Okay. I smoked pot once. I was seventeen and I bought a joint at a school dance. I didn’t smoke it there, but I came home and smoked it behind the toolshed. Made me silly as shit, and I had to hide from my mom or she’d know I’d done something. So I sat behind the shed, staring up at the stars until I was so cold, I couldn’t stand it anymore. Then I came inside, ate a bunch of food, and went up to bed.”
Javi looked aghast for two seconds and then burst into a grin. “Is that all?”
“No. Grandma came in once I was almost asleep, sat on the edge of the bed, and asked me if getting high was worth it.”
“She knew?”
“Grandma doesn’t miss much. Then she said that when she tried it, she got sick. And danged if I didn’t wake up in the night, sick as a dog. She never told my mom and dad, and I never touched the stuff again.”
“You were such a bad boy,” Javi teased. “That sort of stuff is all over some of the camps. People want to forget how miserable they are. Sometimes, especially in Southern California, there are a lot of other drugs too, and that means some really bad dudes come along with them. About two years ago I saw one of these men, Julio Mendez.” Javi curled his upper lip. “He was talking to Ricky, and I saw him give him a small plastic bag. Ricky took it and then hurried away. He was only twelve, and Julio decided he was old enough to try whatever crap he was pushing.” Javi’s eyes blazed. “I raced in, stared Julio down, and shoved back the bag, pressing it to the dealer’s chest.” Javi looked down at the carpet. “They were jelly beans.”
“What the hell?”
“Exactly. I felt like a real idiot and stammered away, taking Ricky with me. I felt so stupid.”
“Was he really a dealer or a guy being nice?” Foster asked.
“That’s what I wondered until I learned that was Julio’s bit. He gave the kids candy in plastic bags so they would be less afraid of him, and then later he slipped stuff into it. Soon he was giving them the drugs, directly in the same plastic bags, and they were some of his most loyal customers.” Javi looked up. “Do you see now why I can’t go? Who will protect Ricky and Daniela from predators like that if I’m not there?”
Foster had already accepted what would be. He kept hoping that by some miracle Javi would change his mind. But that wasn’t going to happen. They both had responsibilities, and Javi couldn’t release his any more than Foster could just walk away from the farm. He got to his feet and tugged Javi to his, leaving the television and game where they were, forgotten for the moment and unimportant. “I know you need to protect them.” He didn’t want to talk about Javi’s family any longer, or his own, for that matter.
His mother and grandmother would be gone for hours yet, and they had the house to themselves. Foster couldn’t remember the last time that had happened, so he led Javi upstairs and down the hall to his bedroom, closing the door behind them.
Foster sat on the edge of the bed, tugging Javi between his legs, encircling his arms around Javi’s waist, resting his head on his chest so he could hear the beat of his heart. Javi ran his fingers through Foster’s hair, and he closed his eyes, taking in the gentle sensation. “I want you to know that this is so hard for me.”
Foster lifted his gaze to Javi’s. “I don’t doubt it. Sometimes our hearts want one thing and our heads another.”
“It isn’t that. I’d love nothing more than to stay, stop moving around all the time, so I could build a life and a home. My head wants it, my heart wants it, but that doesn’t mean I can have it.” He leaned down, brushing his lips over Foster’s. “I learned long ago that we can’t have what we want. That’s why I stopped dreaming. Dreams got me nowhere.” Javi pressed Foster back on the bed. “Right here and now is about all the dreaming I can allow myself to have.”
Foster nodded, deepening the kiss. Words were useless at this point. He’d laid his cards on the table, weak as they were, and so had Javi. Things were the way they were going to be, and no amount of wishing and dreaming was going to change that. Maybe Javi was right and he needed to accept things as they were and take today for what it was.
Javi climbed on the bed, and Foster fell back on the mattress, bringing Javi along with him. Foster tugged at Javi’s shirt, pulling it off, breaking their mind-throbbing kiss only long enough to get Javi’s and then his shirt off before returning with ravenous need. As soon as he let go of the dreams and the hope, he was left with the present, and Foster determined he was going to make the most of every second. No more wishing and dreaming. He was taking what he could right here, right now.
Foster shimmied out from under Javi. He shucked his shoes and pants, gazing heatedly at Javi the way a predator stared down its quarry. He wanted him—his body ached for him, cock throbbing incessantly in his pants just from looking at him. This was his Javi, and they had their time together. He was going to take it all in, remember every moment, and impress every sensation on his mind. He never let his gaze shift, and once naked, he went to work on Javi, letting his shoes thud to the floor and then tugging Javi’s jeans down his legs, and they joined the growing pile on the old braided rug.
Then he climbed back onto the bed into Javi’s waiting arms, kissing and holding him, chest to chest. Instantly his blood raced, especially when Javi pressed him down onto the mattress, pressing their hips together. Foster had noticed that when they were together, Javi always managed to stay on top. Not that Foster minded, but Javi had done it the night of the storm as well as the first time they’d been in his bedroom. Now when Foster tried to roll them to get on top, Javi stopped him with a concerned look that had Foster wondering why.
But then Javi ground his hips to Foster’s, sliding their cocks together, and Foster’s thoughts went out the window, just as Javi most likely hoped they would.
“You feel so good,” Foster said softly.
“So do you,” Javi said, licking and sucking along Foster’s neck and then to his left nipple, nipping it slightly between his lips. Foster arched his back, gasping softly. “I want you, Foster.”
He stilled. “You mean, like….”
Javi slid his hand between them, gripping his cock. Foster pressed up into the sensation and gasped when Javi’s hand went lower, pressing and tapping lightly at his entrance.
“I’ve never done that,” Foster said, stating the obvious since he hadn’t ever done any of the things he’d done with Javi before.
“I know. I haven’t either, but I want to be with you that way,” Javi whispered, and Foster nodded. He wanted to be as close to Javi as he could. “Do you have slick stuff?”
Foster nodded and looked to the bedside table. Javi pulled open the drawer and rooted around until he found Foster’s bottle of unscented massage oil. It was all he had, and he hoped it would work. “Do you think it will hurt?” Foster asked.
“If it does, I’ll stop,” Javi told him. “I
never want to hurt you.” Javi set the bottle on the table. “I know what it’s like to be hurt.” Foster found his hands on the scars on Javi’s back. He didn’t want to think about how he got them, even though Javi had told him. The anger and pain they brought to mind were not helping to keep the happiness and excitement up.
“You know I’d never hurt you either,” Foster said, and Javi nodded, cutting off conversation once again. Javi was very good at keeping Foster’s mind occupied with pleasanter things.
Foster heard the snick of the bottle. He felt Javi lean over him, and then his lips were back, kissing, tempting, increasing his amazement that he could feel so wonderfully alive. His skin heated wherever Javi touched him. He could be happy forever being touched like this, that little caress up his hip, the way Javi ran his fingers down the center of his chest, making Foster hold his breath, wondering if he was going to go further, sliding along his cock. Maybe he’d grip it or even stroke him a few times. Javi seemed in the mood to tease, and Foster growled, wanting more so very badly.
A gasp—Foster was surprised it came from himself—was followed by a moan when Javi pressed a finger to him. He continued his teasing, and Foster purred softly. At least that’s what it felt like in his throat.
“Is this okay?” Javi asked in a whisper. “I want this to be special.”
Foster hummed and nodded his assent, a touch worried but still wanting more than what he was getting. He tensed when Javi entered him. It was only a finger, but he still expected it to hurt. “Oh,” Foster gasped in surprise. It felt a little funny, but not bad. When Javi moved, he moaned softly, but when he touched a certain place, Foster’s eyes crossed. He held his breath as little stars shot behind his eyes. “What was that?” he whimpered.
Javi shrugged but did it again. “Did I find something good?”
“You sure did,” Foster whined. “Do it again.”
Foster gripped the bedding as Javi moved his finger. The second time the sensation wasn’t as pronounced, maybe because he was expecting it, but it felt really good. Javi got more of the oil, slicking him up good, then opened him more. By this point Foster was in happy land. So when Javi withdrew this time, Foster turned over and got on his hands and knees. He wanted to see Javi, but he also thought that it might be easier like this for their first time.
Javi pressed him down onto the bed, his hips against his butt and his chest to Foster’s back. Warm breath slid along his neck, caressing him until Javi licked and sucked on his ear, running his hands down Foster’s arms and hands until their fingers laced. “You are the beautiful one.”
“You are,” Foster argued.
“No. You give yourself to me like this. It makes me seem special.”
Foster turned his head enough to see Javi. “You are special.”
Javi nuzzled Foster’s neck. “I know this whole thing is a bad idea, but I’ll never forget you, no matter what. I liked you when you listened to me, and I fell in love with you when you stood up for me, and now I’m going to make love to you.”
“Javi,” Foster groaned under his breath.
“That’s what this is. I love you and I’m showing you what you mean to me. I have never done this, and I will do my best to make you happy.” Javi moved away, and Foster felt cold for a few seconds. He heard the bottle but kept his eyes closed, letting the spell Javi had cast linger over him.
Javi’s warmth and touch returned, fitting right where he’d left, chest on Foster’s back, cock sliding along his cleft, slipping lower and then pressing to his opening. Foster held his breath, tensing even though that was probably the last thing he was supposed to do. “Relax. It’s me. I’m not going to hurt you.” Javi sucked on his ear and then scraped his teeth over Foster’s shoulder as he pressed forward.
“That scratches,” Foster said with a small yelp, and then he realized that Javi had entered him. He tightened as Javi pressed deeper inside and then stopped. The stretch and a hint of pain sent a wave of doubt through him. But the pain subsided in a few seconds, and the spasms of his butt muscles evened out as well. Maybe this would be okay. Javi slid deeper, slowly filling him.
“Breathe,” Javi said with a soft, warm chuckle that shifted to a moan when Foster clenched. “Damn, you’re hot and tight around me. Feels so good.” Javi sucked on his ear again, and Foster leaned back, arching and pressing against Javi. “Does it feel good to you?”
“Yeah,” Foster breathed, his head spinning a little. The sensation was overpowering, though Javi was taking it so slow—almost too slow, but he was gentle and caring.
“What do you want?”
“Try moving,” Foster said, and Javi pulled back, then slid in and out, driving Foster a little out of his mind. Now that the initial pain was past, he was into it and pressed back to Javi, then pulled away, taking charge.
Javi withdrew, and Foster blinked in surprise. “I want to see you,” Javi said, so Foster rolled over. Javi raised Foster’s legs, pressing them to his chest, and sank back into him. In that instant, Foster’s mind took a detour, and he blinked up at Javi. “We should have thought about condoms, huh?” he asked.
Javi paused. “I’ve never been with anyone, and neither have you. So I hope—”
Foster tried to clear his mind, but Javi was driving him out of it faster than he ever thought possible. “It’s fine.” They were both innocent about things like this. He reached up and stroked Javi’s cheeks, bringing him down into a kiss.
Their lovemaking wasn’t smooth or polished. Things happened and they laughed about them, had fun, and enjoyed being together. This was special. Foster was with Javi in a way he’d never been with anyone else, sharing a part of himself that had always been private and only his. Now it was theirs, something that belonged only to the two of them and no one else. Foster felt special just being here with Javi, and it sent him to heights he’d never known while he was alone.
Their gazes locked, and Foster wrapped his arms around Javi’s neck, holding him near and letting go of the last of his control, giving it over to Javi as he stroked him, taking charge of Foster’s pleasure.
Foster was a little embarrassed at how quickly he reached the pinnacle, shaking and gasping against Javi’s lips as he came with mind-floating intensity, and he liked to think he brought Javi along with him.
He kissed Javi through the pants and sighs of release, holding him tightly as they both spent some time in that land of magic and make-believe where every guy goes after release. It was a place where everything was perfect and the world didn’t exist. That feeling only lasted a little while, so he relished it and did nothing to end it early.
Foster closed his eyes, breathing deeply, and sighed, loving where he was right at this moment. The worries about Javi leaving and everything were at bay, and he was simply happy, really happy. So why were there bells ringing? It took him a few moments to realize it was the doorbell. “Damn,” he swore and got out of the bed, then quickly pulled on his pants and shirt. “I’ll be right back.” He leaned over the bed, kissed Javi, and then darted out of the room, wondering what could be wrong. He fastened his pants as he raced down the stairs and was presentable by the time he pulled open the front door, or at least he hoped so.
“Mrs. Dulles,” he said, greeting her with a smile.
“I saw your stand, and the asparagus looks wonderful.”
“Thank you,” he said breathily, hoping she’d think he’d run for the door rather than had just made love upstairs with Javi. He had to stifle a smile at the thought that didn’t want to go away.
“Your price is good, and I really want to put some up, so I was wondering if I could get thirty pounds? Your dad always picked the field and then sold it. By the time I remembered to ask, it was already gone.”
“I have some now,” Foster said, trying to remember how much he still had. “I don’t think I have thirty pounds, but we’ll be picking more on Monday. I can set some aside fresh and bring it over to you.”
“You’re such a sweetheart. That would
be perfect.” She opened her purse and handed him seventy-five dollars. “Monday afternoon?”
“Just as soon as we’re done picking.” He smiled, and she seemed equally happy.
“I always thought your father should try to sell more of his crop himself.”
“I’ve sold most of what I’ve picked so far, but I still have the second cutting to make on all the acreage, so I can set plenty aside.” He smiled as she turned toward her car.
“I’ll pass the word. Should they let you know by tomorrow?”
“That would be nice, so I know how much to keep back.”
She walked down the steps and out to her car, waving before getting inside. Foster closed the front door and then set the money aside before hurrying upstairs to where Javi waited for him, smiling when he skidded to a stop, rumpling the rug.
“You look happy,” Javi observed.
“Your stand is a hit. Mrs. Dulles saw it and ordered thirty pounds of asparagus for Monday. She says she always forgets to ask but she saw the stand, so she stopped.”
“That’s great,” Javi said as Foster slipped out of his pants and pulled off his shirt, practically diving back onto the bed, giggling and laughing as he gathered Javi into his arms.
“That was all your idea, and it’s only the first day. People may not actually buy there, but they’ll stop and ask when they see it. That’s a win.” He squirmed against Javi.
