The River

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The River Page 20

by Michael Neale


  After several moments of silence, Jacob spoke up. “All these things were in here when I bought the place. I like to come in here when I need to think.”

  Gabriel ran his hands over the desktop. He felt the gouges and nicks from years of use. His eyes were drawn to what he felt with his left hand, the letters “MAGGIE” carved diagonally in the bottom left corner. He tried desperately to maintain his composure.

  Gabriel felt so connected to his father in this moment. He imagined his father sitting there, talking to him. . . planning their next trip. He saw sketchy memories of himself coming in that office, begging his dad to play marbles or take him camping.

  Jacob walked over to the window and pulled the blinds all the way up. A perfect view of The River was revealed. He turned and looked at Gabriel.

  “It’s yours if you want it.”

  Gabriel looked at him with a puzzled brow and hidden smile.

  “This office. It’s yours. I want you to come stay here, Gabriel. I need a lot of help around camp, and you’re just the man for the job. I have a cabin for you, all your expenses paid, and a nice salary. Corley Falls is your home. In due time, you could be running the place. Having a Clarke at the helm of North Camp would feel right. But for now, come and work with us. I’ll personally train you and show you everything I know. You will be a great guide. . . the best. . . just like your father.”

  Gabriel was stunned.

  Jacob smiled. “What do you say?”

  Gabriel’s eyes pooled with tears. Biting his lip, trying desperately to remain in control and choke back his emotion, he kept nodding his head. He pushed the chair back, stood to his feet, and lunged into Jacob’s arms.

  “You got a deal.”

  “That’s wonderful to hear, young man.”

  “I’m home, Jacob. I was made for The River.”

  Epilogue

  LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE ARE ABOUT TO BEGIN THE boarding process for Flight 723, service to Nashville. We certainly thank you for your patience.”

  That’s all I heard of the distorted intercom announcement from the gate agent directly across the concourse.

  “That’s me,” I said to Gabriel.

  “Great to meet you, my friend.” The rugged fifty-something adventurer extended his arm.

  His calloused hand met mine. “Great to meet you. And thank you for sharing your story.”

  We broke from our handshake, and he looked at me intensely. “It’s important to do that, ya know. . . share your story. Remember. . . everyone has a story.”

  “I wish I had time for more.” I slung my backpack over my shoulder.

  “I’ll make you a deal. Look me up and come run The River with me sometime. I’m talking the big water. You do that. . . and I’ll fill you in on the rest.” The outdoorsman flashed an audacious grin.

  “You’ve got yourself a deal!”

  I waved good-bye and headed to the gate and down the jetway.

  The hours that passed seemed like minutes. I was excited to head home, but my soul wanted to hear more. Gabriel’s story of how he bade farewell to Cairo, Kansas, that summer of 1971 and embarked on a path to become one with The River moved me to my core.

  I took stock of my life that night on the flight home. I thought about the blessings of my wife and kids and how I never, ever wanted to take them for granted. I thought about how much time I spent worrying about climbing the corporate ladder, chasing the little things. . . power, money, notoriety.

  Weary of comparing myself to other people and settling for the “flatlands” of life, I thought about how I, too, was made for more. I was made for “The River” as well. I thought about the people I needed to forgive. . . and the people I needed to ask to forgive me.

  I uttered some prayers that night on Flight 723. Gabriel’s journey reminded me that we are all part of a much larger story. His passion for The River was undeniable and contagious. I didn’t want to sit on the banks any longer. I wanted to get in. . . all the way in. I wanted to ride the “big water” now.

  You see, Gabriel actually did it—something that very few are able to do. He joined the ranks of those who dare to leave the safety of what they’ve always known for a better place. . . a place they were destined for from the beginning. No longer obligated to the chains of fear, grief, and resentment, Gabriel took hold of not who he was, but who he was to become.

  Forever captured by The River, he was a new man,

  free to live with adventure,

  to love with abandon,

  and to be loved.

  He would never be the same.

  The world... would never be the same.

  Reading Group Guide

  1. John Clarke said many times, “We Clarkes were made for The River.” Later, Jacob tells Gabriel, “You were made for The River.” What does it mean to be made for The River? In what ways were you made for The River? How does that perspective change your outlook on life?

  2. Gabriel battled fear and anxiety throughout his life. His fears came to a crescendo when Jimmy and the boys were going to jump off “the cliffs” and Gabriel couldn’t muster the courage to join, yet he was furious with himself for not going. Can you think of a time when you were fearful of something and simultaneously angry with yourself for being afraid? How did you move past it? Do you think Gabriel’s fears were justified?

  3. The albino red-tailed hawk makes several appearances at key moments throughout the story. What do you think is the significance of this?

  4. Gabriel finally expresses his rage at The River for taking his dad, shouting, “You did this!” How did this moment change things for Gabriel? Have you ever experienced anger rising up that you didn’t even know you were carrying? Have you experienced times in your life when you had to face your anger before you could move forward?

  5. Gabriel experiences The River rising up, submerging him, and carrying him. He hears a voice saying “I’ve always been with you,” and in the midst of this, Gabriel realizes the truth about his dad’s death—that John hadn’t intentionally abandoned Gabriel. Who do you think is speaking to Gabriel here? Have you ever had a mystical experience like this that led you to new insights or profound change?

  6. Tabitha tells Gabriel: “You can’t fully experience The River from the banks, Gabriel. You have to get in. . . all the way in.” How does this wisdom apply to your life? Can you think of a time when you were “standing on the banks” and needed the courage to get in? What happened, and how did it change you?

  7. The first time Gabriel ran The River, he faced significant fears and finally felt “alive.” How does overcoming fear make you feel more alive? How does it change your outlook on life?

  8. Tabitha tells Gabriel, “most people don’t take time to really see what’s all around them.” Have you ever been guilty of this? How can you make sure you’re “seeing” what’s around you? What’s the consequence if you don’t?

  9. Gabriel was back in Cairo after his first river trip, and he realized how much he hated his dead-end job. The River had opened up a whole new world to him, and yet, “something was keeping him from taking that step of faith.” Why did Gabriel even hesitate to leave Cairo and join Tabitha at The River? What held him back? Can you relate?

  10. Ezra is the wise older person who helps Gabriel understand himself and his history. Do you have someone like this in your life? How has this person contributed to your growth?

  11. Gabriel’s grandfather wrote, “Life is not to be merely survived— it is meant to be lived.” Later, Jacob tells Gabriel, “The River is more than a place, Gabriel. It’s a way of living—really living.” What does this mean to you? How does one “really live” and how does that differ from simply surviving?

  Acknowledgments

  TO SAY THAT IT TOOK A ROBUST AMOUNT OF HELP and encouragement to get me to the finish line with The River would be an extreme understatement.

  To my wife, Leah: You walked through every step of this journey with me, making sacrifices and urging me to finish. You’v
e lived with each and every character and scene as much as I have, and you’ve joined in every emotion along the way. You lifted me when I struggled and celebrated at every milestone. Listening, advising, and encouraging—without you, this dream would not have become a reality. My words fall short to describe my gratitude and love for you.

  To my beautiful kids, Micah, Maisie, and Wyatt: Thank you for supporting your dad and dreaming with me about all of the possibilities. You are the most creative and exciting kids I know. I love you all so very much.

  I’m also grateful to all of my friends and colleagues who got in the raft and put a paddle in the water with me.

  First and foremost to my editor, Mike Yorkey: Your wisdom and expertise, guiding me through this process, shepherding this new author, were a true godsend. You were gracious, patient, and always ready with an uplifting word. Whether shaping a scene, developing a character, or creating dialogue, you helped me stay true to my style and voice. This book became a reality because of your help. You make it look easy. . . and it’s not! I’m eternally grateful.

  To Bob and Bonnie Neale, my mom and dad: Thank you for all your support and encouragement. . . for being amazing grandparents to our little ones. . . for always being there. I love you both.

  To Mom and Pop Evans: Your love and support mean the world. Thank you for all the wonderful holiday meals and memories and the way you cherish our kids. You are loved.

  To Kurt Beasley: I’m so grateful our paths crossed many years ago. Thank you for walking this road with me with wisdom and discernment. Your insights and steady guidance have helped me stay the course.

  To Chad Williams: You always have an encouraging word at the right time. I’m so thankful you are with us on this journey. Your experience and perspective continue to be invaluable.

  To Ami McConnell, Allen Arnold, Daisy Hutton, and the wonderful team at Thomas Nelson: Thank you for catching the vision of this story and partnering with us to share it with the world. It’s a dream come true to be published by you.

  To Steve and Julie Helm: Thanks, Steve, for pushing me out there to do it. You are a true brother. And, Julie, thanks for being another set of “eyes” on the project. You guys are like family. We love you.

  To the best of friends, David and Amber Loveland: the meals, the laughs, the rides to the airport, the futon, the parties. . . you guys are the best. Sharing life with you is a joy beyond words.

  To John and Holly Boswell: This project would not be possible without you. Thank you for your gracious hospitality, always ready with a room and a ride. You are generous beyond words.

  To Dr. Todd Mullins, Dr. Tom Mullins, and Dr. John C. Maxwell: To think that I can call men like you my mentors is a gift beyond words. Thank you for your time and belief in me.

  To Jordan and Nicki Rubin: Your message of good health and your mission to share that message have changed our lives. We are so grateful for your advice, encouragement, and friendship.

  To David and Marla Saunders: Thank you so much for your generous hospitality. Your home was an oasis through such critical transitions. We are blessed to call you friends.

  To Mike Smith: Thank you so much for your belief and encouragement. You are a treasured friend, and I love our coffees.

  To Rick White: Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be creative and bring this story to its first venue.

  To Bill Reeves: Thank you for helping me see the scope of what could be with this story. Your encouraging words have always been timely.

  A big thank-you to all of the owners of the “offices” I occupied during the writing process: The Good Cup, Meridee’s, Puckett’s in Leiper’s Fork, Starbucks, the Boswell guesthouse, and last but not least, the only room left in all of metro Atlanta, Room 225 at the Econo Lodge just outside of Atlanta, where the last three chapters were written when I was snowed in for three days.

  For more on The River, please visit

  www.theriverexperience.com.

  Andy Andrews Interviews

  Michael Neale about The River

  ANDY ANDREWS: Michael, The River is a beautiful story. As I was reading it, I kept thinking how hard it is to believe that this is your first book! Can you tell us how you were inspired to write The River?

  MICHAEL NEALE: Wow, thank you, Andy! That means so much coming from you. I love rivers. I’ve rafted and fished in many of them over the years. One trip in particular with my wife, Leah, really opened my eyes and heart to the story of The River. We rafted through the beautiful gorges of Colorado and at one particularly treacherous spot—where, I might add, a man perished the week before—Leah fell out. She disappeared into the white water. I felt so helpless. She was only under for probably ten to fifteen seconds but it felt like a lifetime. She was fine and popped up downstream a bit and we finished our run. That day, a truly visceral experience was written on my soul. The river made a lasting impression. I started journaling my ideas through the years. The full inspiration was far more than that day on the river with Leah. The River and its characters came from a collection of life experiences. Just over eleven years later, I finally got the courage to try to communicate a story that was stirring in my heart. The story would not let me go. It was almost as if the story chose me. I had to bring these characters to life!

  AA: That line, “You were made for The River,” is just awesome. Folks really need to hear that, don’t they? That their destiny is important?

  MN: I really do believe that, Andy. We are made for so much more than we often realize. There is a greater story unfolding. We all have a vital role to play. It is a thrilling adventure! We must not settle for what is simply familiar or safe. We cannot let our fear of the unknown hold us back. The only true joy and fulfillment in life comes from living out our purpose and destiny in the greater story of life, which I believe is God’s story. To live a life that is wide open, moving toward that purpose with everything we are, is the only way to live!

  AA: I know you are a career songwriter. You won a Dove Award, didn’t you? How is the craft of songwriting different from writing a novel?

  MN: I did win a Dove Award this year for the worship song, Your Great Name. It was very humbling. How is it different? Well, songwriting is so much smaller in terms of scope and content. It’s like writing a paragraph or two and setting it to music. A song may have one hundred words, while a novel may have anywhere from 50,000-200,000 words. It was definitely a vastly different experience in terms of quantity of content. A song may take a few hours, a few days even. This book took me a solid year. Songwriting will always be a part of my life. Stories and Songs really, that’s what I’m about. I’m learning to love new challenges, conquering new mountains. I was afraid of writing a book. It just seemed way too big. I’m glad I didn’t let the fear keep me from doing it though. Once I learned to let go of trying to see the end from the beginning, it became an adventure to see where the characters took me. I just tried to listen well and do the hard work. I sought out some great mentors along the way too!

  AA: Gabriel’s healing ultimately takes place in the very spot where he was wounded as a child. It’s about place, yes, but it’s also about community in some ways, isn’t it? I am big on the concept of community. How about you, Michael?

  MN: Absolutely. We were not made to walk alone. We were made to journey together. Once Gabriel got a taste of what it’s like to belong, he couldn’t go back to the isolation of Kansas. We need each other. To love and be loved is the stuff of being alive. I love the fact that Gabriel experienced The River in the quiet places, by himself, but he was transformed along the journey with a band of friends. When I’m weak, I need another to help me go on. When someone else needs help, I need to get out of myself and do what I can to lift the load. Gabriel found that and so much more at The River.

  AA: I enjoyed the character of Ezra. In fact, he reminds me of a character in one of my own books—Jones in The Noticer. What was the process of creating that character like? What does he do for the story?

  MN: Ezra
definitely seems to be a favorite among many readers. . . and for good reason. Ezra represents the perspective in life we all need. He never judged Gabriel; he just covered him with good sense and timeless wisdom. His tone was steady and loving. Ezra played such a key role in Gabriel’s processing of all that life had thrown at him. He helped Gabriel see the bigger picture. He helped him see that greatness and beauty come to us oftentimes through our brokenness. Ezra walked alongside him on the road to healing. All the while, he was a fantastic connection to Gabriel’s heritage and who he was destined to be. I’m so grateful I’ve had a few “Ezra’s” in my life. Some of them, I’ve sought out and asked to help me process life’s unexpected turns.

  AA: Your descriptions of Gabriel’s state of mind as he grapples with his past, particularly his “dark place,” are so powerful. How do you understand Gabriel’s “dark place,” and how does his relationship to The River help him to move beyond it?

  MN: Dark times in life are inescapable. They feel like a turn life wasn’t supposed to take. It may be grief, shame, and illness—financial, relational, or otherwise. We all have those times. . . it’s part of the fabric of being broken people, living in a broken world. The good news is. . . it is not forever. The beauty and power of this story is not that The River pulled Gabriel out of the dark times forever and ever. It’s that The River called to him and joined him in those hurtful dark places. Through people, through circumstance, through his personal and intimate encounters, The River called Gabriel to a new life. He didn’t have to stay imprisoned to his fear and grief. He could journey on to new and beautiful horizons. Once he got a taste of what was to come with The River, Gabriel was changed forever. Gabriel did have a choice. He could have stayed in Kansas. . . but he didn’t.

  AA: I was captivated by how Gabriel’s relationship with Tabitha develops and how she represents a world Gabriel doesn’t even know he’s been missing. It’s really compelling when he finally discovers how she’s connected to Gabriel’s father. What can couples learn from this relationship?

 

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