Leonie's humour died too. 'They were—very special,' she acknowledged abruptly. 'They were killed in a car crash.'
'That's tough,' he sympathised. 'My own parents were killed in a freak light-plane crash.'
'I'm sorry,' she murmured, looking down at her plate.
He shrugged. 'I was twenty-six at the time. How old were you and Laura?' His eyes were narrowed.
'Ten,' she bit out, pushing her plate away uninterestedly.
Hawk frowned. 'What happened to you after that?'
'We were brought up by—an aunt,' she dismissed, avoiding his eyes.
'Was she nice?' he probed softly.
'Very,' Leonie nodded abruptly. 'I don't think I want any dessert, do you?' she added briskly.
Hawk shrugged. 'I can't say I have a sweet tooth, no. Leonie, I haven't upset you, have I?' he sighed regretfully. 'You have to know that's the last thing I wanted to do. The subject of parents just came up, and I—'
'You haven't upset me,' she assured him lightly. 'But it is getting late—'
'I have upset you,' he said heavily. 'Hell, you have to know that's the last thing I wanted to happen tonight!'
Her mouth quirked. 'What was the first thing?' she taunted.
His eyes darkened appreciatively. 'If I told you the thoughts that ran through my mind when I walked into your room earlier you'd probably consider having me locked away!'
Leonie had been able to guess at most of his thoughts, and for the briefest of moments, as she gazed at the caged savagery of him in the formal evening suit, she had felt the same way!
As she raised her head to answer him her attention was caught, and held, by someone watching them from the bar outside the dining-room.
She was doing her best to smooth over the awkwardness he had introduced into the conversation, but the paleness of her cheeks told him she wasn't really succeeding.
He hadn't realised that the subject of her parents was such a sensitive one. Even if he had he might still have brought it up, he needed to know everything there was about Leonie if he were to stand a chance of persuading her to love him in return.
The evening hadn't been a complete failure at least. They had learnt a little more about each other, had even laughed together. It was more than he had hoped for after bulldozing her into coming out with him in the first place.
'Not going to ask, hmm?' Hawk teased lightly. 'Probably a wise decision!' He stood up to pull back her chair for her, bending forward slightly more than he needed to as the softness of her perfume enticed him closer, only just resisting the impulse to taste her creamy throat, straightening with effort.
She didn't resist as he put his arm about her waist to guide her out of the restaurant, and he took full advantage of her closeness as his hand curved possessively about her hip.
'Would you like to have coffee out here?' His gaze flickered over the almost deserted bar. Several of the people from the dining-room had taken advantage of the more relaxed atmosphere out here to have their coffee, and half a dozen men were standing at the bar. And one of those men was Jake!
'I'd rather leave,' Leonie refused stiltedly.
Hawk turned back to her frowningly, having forgotten his own question as he watched Jake drink whisky as if it were water; Jake didn't normally drink at all! 'Do you mind if we say hello to Jake?' he prompted gruffly.
Her startled gaze flew to the bar before she nodded abruptly. 'Of course. Would you rather I waited outside for you in the car?'
There was more of a chance that Jake wouldn't make a scene in front of Leonie. 'I'll just say a quick hello,' he assured her, steering her towards the other man. 'Jake,' he greeted abruptly.
His friend turned sharply, almost knocking over the fresh glass of whisky that had been placed in front of him. 'Hawk,' he greeted unwelcomingly. 'Mrs Spencer,' he added more politely.
Jake wasn't too drunk to know Hawk wouldn't stand for any rudeness to Leonie! Although Leonie seemed very tense about the whole meeting; he could feel the tautness of her body against his. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea after all.
'I just wanted to tell you we agreed with your opinion about the food here,' he dismissed. 'We'll see you in the morning,' he added lightly.
Jake nodded abruptly, turning back to his contemplation of the bottom of his whisky glass. Damn it, he didn't care whether Jake wanted to talk or not, he wasn't going to let the other man destroy himself in this way! There had to be something he could do to ease whatever was bothering Jake, some way he could help him through this crisis. God, it was what friends were for!
'I'm sorry about that,' he sighed as he drove them both back to the house. 'He's usually a really friendly guy, a good friend.'
'We all have our off days,' Leonie dismissed abruptly.
Hell, here he was worrying about Jake, when there was nothing he could do to help the other man until tomorrow, when right now Leonie was slipping away from him again. He could feel it as suddenly as if she had closed a door in his face!
'I enjoyed tonight, Leonie,' he told her huskily, giving her a sideways glance, sure he could see a slight blush on her cheeks.
What he would give for them to be married, for them to be going home together to look in on Holly as she slept before slowly making their way to the bedroom they shared so that they could make love. There was only one thing wrong with that fantasy; he could never slowly make his way anywhere if there was the promise of making love to Leonie at the end of it!
'It was—very nice,' she returned politely.
She was slipping further and further away from him! 'Can we do it again tomorrow?' he prompted harshly.
Her mouth twisted. 'June will think you don't like her cooking if we keep going out for dinner.'
He wanted to say 'damn June' and what she thought, but he knew Leonie wouldn't appreciate his sentiments. 'Maybe we could go out for a drive after dinner?' he suggested lightly.
'Hawk, I know what you're doing, but—'
'Then why won't you try and meet me even halfway?' he demanded impatiently. 'I'm trying my best with you, Leonie, taking things slowly, letting you get to know me. But you have to give me a chance!' He knew he sounded like a little boy being denied something he badly wanted, but that was how Leonie made him feel, as vulnerable and uncertain as a child! Could he be blamed for occasionally rebelling against that unfamiliar feeling?
'Hawk, if I were to ask you to just hold me I don't want you to expect any more than that.' Her voice broke emotionally. 'I just need to be held. Is that a crime?' she cried out. 'Sometimes I just need someone to hold me, Hawk,' she choked.
He could see by the moonlight that her cheeks were wet with tears, swearing under his breath as he pulled the car over to the side of the road, switching the engine off abruptly to pull Leonie hard against him. He just wanted to hold this witchchild in his arms for ever, to drive out the pain that could make her shake against him the way that she was. Her hands clutched at him, moving spasmodically against his back, her face buried against his chest. He could feel her tears wetting the fabric of his shirt.
Had he done this to her? When he had meant never to hurt her again, had he done this to her? Self-disgust made his arms tighten about her protectively. He would protect her from himself if necessary!
She shuddered against him as she fought to regain control. 'I'm sorry,' she sniffed. 'I—I think the outing tonight must have tired me more than I realised,' she excused as she moved firmly out of his arms.
He wanted to continue to hold her, but he could tell by the vulnerability in her pained eyes that she needed to be apart from him for the moment, that she regretted her moment of weakness. But she had turned to him for comfort, and surely if he had been the one to make her unhappy she wouldn't have done that? Maybe he was clutching at straws during a flood, but if ever there was a time he wanted to believe in miracles it was right now!
'Probably,' he accepted, giving her a meaningless smile of reassurance. 'I'll get you home so that you can get to bed.'
'Rest tomorrow, hm?' he encouraged after they had entered the house and he had locked up for the night.
Leonie shook her head. 'I thought I might start work on the last chapters of our latest book tomorrow.'
He had more sense than to forbid her to go anywhere near work until she was feeling stronger! 'If you're feeling that much better maybe we could go out for our drive in the afternoon?' A morning's work was enough for her to start with!
She gave a slight smile. 'Shouldn't you be working in the afternoon?'
Hawk grinned. 'One of the perks of being the boss; I get to take time off when I want it.'
'My boss at the moment is a terrible tyrant,' she taunted. 'His demands for the finished manuscript are getting pretty desperate.'
'Why don't you tell him—You mean me,' he realised with a groan, having forgotten all about the Winnie Cooper television series and the book that should come out while it was still being televised during the winter. 'Are you going to get mad if I say I'll have a word with your publisher about being so pushy?' he grimaced.
Leonie's mouth quirked. 'Probably,' she acknowledged dryly.
He shrugged. 'That's what I thought you would say. Just don't work too hard, okay?' he prompted gently.
'I'm not sure I'll do any at all,' she sighed. 'I seem to have lost my enthusiasm for writing since Holly's birth.'
'Talking of our daughter, shall we go and say goodnight to her?' he encouraged huskily.
For a moment she looked undecided, then she nodded slow agreement, her eyes widely pleading as she looked up at him. 'I don't want you to come to my room tonight,' she told him firmly, her breathing ragged.
He enjoyed those times with her during the silence of the night, feeling as if they shared a unique experience during that time. But they had come quite a long way tonight, and he didn't want to spoil it now with his selfishness. And it was selfish to want to lie in her arms again.
He had never shared anything like this feeling with another woman, never felt that she was all things to him, lover, friend, mother, the woman he loved. But there would be other times when he would share that with Leonie, he was sure of it; he just had to back off now and give her a little room to breathe.
'Okay,' he agreed lightly, taking hold of her hand. 'Let's go and say goodnight to our daughter.'
A soft lamp glowed in the nursery as they stood beside the cot and looked down at Holly as she slept. Tonight she wore a pink sleeping-suit, and it gave her cheeks a peachy tint, making her hair look more golden than ever. As she lay on her tummy her hands were splayed out beside her head, golden lashes fanning her cheeks, her tiny mouth slightly open as she breathed. The way she was lying, her little bottom slightly elevated, Hawk had the feeling she would eventually sleep with her bottom high in the air, the way that her brother had when he was a baby.
How close he had come to losing both this adorable baby and the woman who was her mother! When he had telephoned the doctor and spoken to him about the birth the other man had been quite open with him about the fact that Holly had nearly suffocated before she was even born, and that Leonie had been so ill afterwards they had given up hope of her coming out of it. He had claimed that only a very strong lady could have survived that, and it was that strength that Hawk was relying on to eventually bring her into his arms where she belonged.
For the moment they were sharing this closeness with Holly, and their pride in their daughter was reflected in their eyes as they watched her sleep, sharing a smile of intimacy as Holly gave a windy smile in her sleep.
The pity of it was that once they left the warmth of this bedroom they were going to go to their separate rooms, and not together as he would have wished.
But half a fantasy had to be better than no fantasy at all!
CHAPTER EIGHT
Leonie sighed as she put the portable typewriter down on the grass beside her, only having typed half a page the whole morning. Getting Winnie into one scrape after another didn't seem very important when her own life was in such a turmoil.
She shouldn't have let Hawk kiss her goodnight; she should have calmly parted from him at her bedroom door. Instead he had pulled her gently into his arms, and her defences had once again crumpled. It had only been his word that he wouldn't enter her room that had saved her.
She hadn't slept well after that, had already been awake when she heard Holly's call to be fed, lingering over holding her daughter, even though the baby had long fallen back to sleep. If she hadn't continued to hold Holly she was sure she would have gone to Hawk's room!
She deeply regretted breaking down in front of him the night before; she hadn't cried like that in a very long time. To his credit he hadn't pressed for an explanation. Even if he had she couldn't have given him one.
'Who is he, Leonie?'
She stiffened at the sound of that voice, taking her time about turning to face him, having been expecting him after last night.
'Doesn't he mind about your little bastard?'
Leonie's head went back sharply at the taunt, her angry gaze narrowing on the man who had once been her husband. He was as handsome as ever, over-long blond hair swept back in a deliberately casual style, warm brown eyes hiding a multitude of sins, tall and lithe in fitted denims and an open-necked blue shirt.
'Holly is not a bastard, Michael,' she snapped.
'Oh, forgive me,' he sneered, moving away from his leaning position against the oak tree that stood in the middle of the big garden. 'Your love-child!' he amended derisively.
That description hardly fitted Holly either, but Holly was loved. 'What do you want?' she demanded harshly.
'You didn't answer my question.' He went down on his haunches beside Holly as she lay awake on a blanket beneath the sun-umbrella. 'Who—'
'Don't touch her!' she ordered as he would have put out a finger for Holly to touch. 'Don't ever touch her,' she repeated through gritted teeth, sitting on the edge of her lounger.
Michael was slow to remove his hand, his gaze challenging. 'Do you let him touch her?' he taunted.
Oh, how she would love to wipe the sneer from his lips by telling him that Hawk had a perfect right to touch his own daughter! But she wouldn't put a weapon like that into Michael's hands; she knew he was perfectly capable of using it, in any way that he thought would benefit himself.
'I asked what you wanted, Michael?' she prompted stiffly.
He straightened, strolling over to sit down beside her on the lounger. 'You don't sound pleased to see me,' he drawled in a hurt voice.
Her eyes flashed deeply green. 'I'm not!'
He shrugged. 'You knew I'd come after I saw you with him last night.'
Yes, she had known as soon as she saw Michael at the bar of the hotel last night that she could expect a visit from him very soon.
She had felt ill when she looked up and saw him standing there watching her; she had wondered just how long he had been doing so, feeling sick at the thought of him spying on her. Michael had been the reason she broke down in Hawk's arms the way she did. Just when she thought he had finally left her life he would appear again and totally destroy her peace of mind. Like now.
'What are you doing in Claymont?' she demanded.
'Visiting,' he drawled. 'You,' he added mockingly.
Her eyes widened. 'You're the last person I'd want to visit me!' she scorned, standing up just so that she could move away from him, hating to be anywhere near him after what he had done to her.
'The money was late last month, Leonie.' His eyes were narrowed. 'I came to warn you not to let it happen again.'
'I'm very sorry,' she snapped. 'I was giving birth to my daughter at the time!'
His gaze flickered coldly over Holly as she gurgled to herself. 'Were you so desperate for a kid that you finally went to bed with some man who won't even marry you to get one!'
'Oh, he would marry me, Michael,' she scorned. 'Tomorrow probably, if I were agreeable. But after having you for my
husband I've found little about marriage to endear it to me!' She held her breath, knowing she shouldn't have let her temper get the better of her; with Michael that was never a wise thing to do.
His face twisted with anger. 'Why, you little—'
'Leonie, is this guy bothering you?' cut in a smoothly dangerous voice.
She turned sharply to face Jake, wondering just how much of her conversation with Michael he had overheard; enough to consider she needed rescuing, obviously! 'He's just—'
'Another one, Leonie?' jeered Michael, recovering well from the surprise of having someone interrupt him when he had been about to launch on one of his insulting tirades. 'Considering you're the original Ice Maiden I'm not sure how you're managing to keep them interested!' He looked at her contemptuously.
Leonie could sense Jake's burning anger, could feel the tension emanating from him. And remembering his aggression towards Hawk last night when he had merely said hello, she didn't want any more fights in her presence! 'I—' she began.
Jake answered him softly. 'Speaking from personal experience, I think there's nothing in the least icy about Leonie,' he drawled challengingly.
She closed her eyes, hoping this was all just a nightmare, but knowing, as she heard Holly gurgle from the comfort of her blanket, that it was all very real.
She had told Michael never to come here again; not even Laura knew of the arrangement she had with him. It was nice, very nice of Jake to defend her in this way, but—
'I know you, don't I?' Michael looked frowningly at the other man. 'My God, you were at the hotel last night!' he suddenly realised with a knowing smile.
The fact that Michael had been there too obviously came as a surprise to Jake, but considering his morose mood the evening before it wasn't surprising he hadn't been aware of the people around him!
'Yes,' he challenged slowly. 'And what were you doing there—spying on Leonie?'
Michael's mouth twisted. 'Hardly,' he sneered. 'Tell him, Leonie, I have no reason to spy on you, because I know everything about your life that I need to know.'
She could feel Jake's questioning gaze on her, and her head was high as she turned to meet that gaze. 'Michael is my ex-husband—'
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