He didn't even want to think about that, daren't think about it. And he knew, as he began to make love to Leonie through a night-time of love, that he daren't give her the time to think about it either.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Leonie felt so conspicuous standing on the busy platform. Not that there was anything about her appearance to draw attention to her; there were plenty of other women getting on and off the underground trains wearing similar outfits to her grey business suit, also plenty of other women carrying briefcases.
But none of them had a million pounds inside their briefcase!
And none of them had been standing on the same platform for almost an hour waiting to hand that money over for the return of their baby.
Five o'clock had been the time for the meeting, and she had arrived here shortly before that time. And she had waited and waited and waited… If Michael was here she certainly hadn't seen him.
Neither had she seen the police who were keeping a watchful eye on the exchange, but if she couldn't recognise them she also hoped Michael couldn't either. He wasn't likely to show himself if he thought he was about to be arrested.
She hadn't wanted the police here at all, especially as they doubted, because of the location, that they would be able to work to full efficiency. But Hawk had insisted; he had wanted her to have some protection. Waiting impotently in the background for the outcome of the meeting was almost killing him, she knew. He was a man who always liked to take charge. She didn't doubt that Michael had known exactly how Hawk would feel about that when he made the condition that she had to be the one who brought him the money.
Another train came into the station, and Leonie anxiously searched the faces of the people getting off and the ones milling about to get on. None of them was Michael.
She glanced up towards the clock; five fifty-seven. An hour late. What had happened? Had something gone wrong, or had Michael just wanted to make her suffer a little longer? She knew that anyone capable of creeping stealthily into her home to take Holly as they had had to be capable of anything.
She had been told that she mustn't hand the money over until Michael had either given her Holly or told her where she was; she hoped it was the former. Although she couldn't see Michael carrying a baby about with him.
Her palm felt damp where she clutched tightly to the handle of Hawk's briefcase, her heart sinking as she realised Michael might not turn up at all.
He had to turn up. None of them could go through this a second time!
But he was an hour late. Where could he be? Why didn't he just take the money and go away!
She turned sharply as someone knocked her from behind, smiling wanly at the woman with the pink spiky hair and black garish make-up as the woman apologised. For a moment she had thought Michael—God, she was so tense she felt as if she was about to snap in two!
There was another train due in a few minutes, and the people who worked in the heart of England's capital were hurrying down the stairs to escape the rush and bustle there at the end of the day.
Leonie once again searched the sea of new faces, starting to tremble badly as once again she recognised none of them. Where was Michael?
No doubt this all appealed to his warped sense of humour as he envisaged her rising panic!
How much longer was she supposed to wait? She would wait all night if she had to, but would it do any good? Could it be that Michael had never had any intention of picking up the money at all, that he was just showing Hawk that the threat he had made to bring charges of blackmail against him if he dared to ask Leonie for money again or so much as hinted at any scandal attached to Holly's birth meant less than nothing to him? Hawk had told her of his warnings to Michael, with his lawyer as a witness; Michael had made a serious mistake not heeding that warning!
The next train came into the station, but as fast as the platform emptied it filled up again with people waiting for the next train. Wherever the policemen were it had to be virtually impossible for them to even be able to keep sight of her, let alone be able to pick out Michael! He had chosen his spot well.
To ease her tension Leonie thought of her dark-eyed sister as she had looked before she left home. Laura would be all right in time, she was sure of it. Hawk had told Hal the full story of the past, and Leonie didn't doubt that with her husband's help Laura would eventually allow her love to flow again.
Once they had Holly safely back home.
Leonie closed her eyes as she envisaged a life without her daughter. She had promised Hawk they would go on together if that should happen, but she didn't know how either of them would do it!
Hawk had to be going through a worse kind of hell than her right now; at least she had searching for Michael to keep her from going insane.
She felt tears prick the back of her eyes at how futile that now seemed to be. She had arrived full of hope and anticipation; an hour of watching trains come and then go again had shattered almost all that hope.
She could hear another train coming, people were moving forward to take their places ready for boarding. Lights blazed as the train came towards the end of the tunnel, and Leonie once again turned her attention back to the people waiting on the platform, still more coming quickly down the stairs. For a moment she caught sight of a windswept fair head that could have been Michael's, and then it was lost to her view as the crowd surged forward, vying for a place close enough to get on the train, knowing not all of them would get on, since the train was already crowded from previous stations.
Leonie craned her neck trying to see that blond head once more, but her lack of height and the number of people made it impossible for her to see more than those immediately around her. Maybe she would get a better look once the crowd had thinned out a little.
The rush of cold air told her the train was rapidly approaching the station now, the noise was becoming deafening. And then suddenly, just as her eyes widened incredulously on Hawk as he stood halfway down the stairs, holding up a tiny shawl-wrapped bundle for her to see and recognise, she felt a sharp push in her back and felt herself falling forward, straight into the path of the glaringly bright lights of the train!
To Hawk, watching in silent horror, what happened next seemed to take place in slow motion.
One second Leonie's face had been bathed with glowing happiness as she saw Holly in his arms, the next her expression had turned to fear as she began to fall, and fall—
And then suddenly strong arms came out to stop her, pulling her backwards just as the train engine tore by them to come to a halt further up the platform.
And then Hawk was running, Holly held protectively in his arms, running to be with the woman he loved.
Leonie's arm hurt where she had been pulled back with such force, but the pain was nothing to the agony she would have known if she had fallen into the path of the speeding train.
She turned to her rescuer, about to thank him, when she saw people staring curiously at the struggling woman with the spiky pink hair as someone else held her a few feet away, the woman kicking and swearing as she fought her captor.
Leonie was still too numb from her close shave with death to be able to puzzle out what was happening, but she did understand that she had seen Holly alive and well in Hawk's arms just seconds before she felt herself falling. She turned frantically to search for him, her face lighting up with gladness as she saw it hadn't been an hallucination. Hawk was almost at her side now.
She looked eagerly up into his face as he gently handed her their daughter. Holly was gazing up at her with widely enquiring eyes.
A choked sob caught in her throat as she buried her face in her daughter's neck, breathing in the scent and feel of her as if she never wanted to stop holding her and looking at her.
'How the hell did you—Why, Hawk?' demanded a grating voice. 'She's mine, Hawk. You're both mine!'
Leonie looked up slowly, recognising the voice, but not the woman with that pink hair and dark make-up. 'Sarah?' she said disbelievingly,
looking for some sign of the beautifully elegant woman beneath the garish disguise. 'Sarah, is that you?' she stared incredulously.
Blue eyes blazed at her contemptuously. 'Don't look so surprised,' sneered Sarah. 'It's me Hawk loves, me he's always loved!'
Leonie looked dazedly at the other woman, turning to Hawk as he gazed pityingly at his secretary.
Sarah Ames loved Hawk, had probably done so for years.
Hawk pulled Leonie tightly against his side, sorrow in his eyes as he looked at the woman who had worked for him for eleven years. 'I love Leonie, Sarah,' he told her gently.
'Of course you don't,' she dismissed impatiently. 'I was the one you were taking out until we came here—the only one,' she announced triumphantly.
'To business dinners,' he reminded her softly. 'Sarah, Leonie and I are going to be married.'
'Only because she had your child,' scorned Sarah, looking as if she was wearing some hideous mask with her face covered in that lurid make-up. 'But now I have—had—' She looked uncertainly to where Leonie held Holly in her arms. 'Give her to me!' She tried to pull free of the policeman's restraining arms. 'Once she's mine and you're out of the way Hawk and I can be together again. Give her to me, I said!' Her eyes flared with fury as Leonie's arms tightened protectively about her daughter.
The policeman standing beside Leonie shifted uncomfortably. 'Mr Sinclair, I think Mrs Ames should go to the station now—'
'Hell, yes,' confirmed Hawk with a pained groan, shaking his head as he looked at Sarah, her face contorted with hate as she glared at Leonie. 'Sarah, I don't know what to say—'
'Tell them it's me you love,' she prompted harshly. 'Tell her—'
Hawk shook his head. 'I can't do that,' his voice was filled with sorrow, 'because it wouldn't be true. I'm sorry—'
'You're lying!' Sarah pulled ineffectually against the hold on her. 'She means as little to you as all those other women.' She looked at Leonie scornfully. 'You just feel obligated to her—'
'I love her,' Hawk told her again firmly.
Sarah was still denying the truth of that as she was led away, and Leonie knew how stunned Hawk had to be that someone he had trusted and called friend, as he had Sarah, could have done such a thing in the name of what she called love.
They emerged into the sunshine with their daughter just as the police car with Sarah in it drove off down the street.
'Go with her, Hawk,' Leonie encouraged impulsively. 'Try to help her in some way.'
He looked down at her with pained eyes. 'I don't know if I'm capable of helping her after what she did,' he groaned. 'Do you know how they found Holly?' he grated. 'Because the maid at the hotel who was cleaning the rooms became concerned about the baby that kept crying in room 319! Sarah had just left her there unattended—and God knows how many times she'd done the same thing since she took her!' he added harshly. 'She'd put the "Do Not Disturb" notice on the door and just left her!'
Leonie shuddered to think what could have happened to Holly all those hours Sarah had spent at the house with them and left the baby alone in her room; she hated the thought of the other woman anywhere near her precious daughter, and her arms tightened protectively about Holly as she searched the tiny body for any signs of harm.
'She's fine, Leonie,' Hawk reassured her gruffly as he correctly interpreted her worry. 'A doctor checked her over immediately. It's when I think what could have happened, to Holly, and to you just now—'
'I feel the same way,' she nodded. 'But Sarah's sick, not really responsible for her actions. I—I hate her for what she did, but I—I pity her too.' She shook her head.
He put a hand up to his eyes. 'I never guessed— never had any idea—She was always just my efficient secretary. God, I didn't even see her half the time!' He shook his head bewilderedly. 'Maybe if I had I would have seen this sick possessiveness she seems to feel towards me.'
Leonie put her hand on his arm. 'And maybe you wouldn't. You have to go with her, Hawk,' she encouraged again. 'No matter what she's done, you're all she has just now.'
He gave a low groan. 'I almost lost you—'
'I know, Hawk.' She moved into his arms. 'I know!'
She couldn't know, couldn't possibly realise how helpless he had felt as he watched her falling into the path of that train! The memory of it would haunt him for the rest of his life. He doubted if a day would pass when he wouldn't think of it.
And she wanted him to help the woman who had almost been responsible for her death, who had been responsible for taking Holly from them.
He hadn't been able to believe the miracle of it when the police brought Holly to him as he waited tensely for Leonie to hand the money over to Spencer. He was shocked when they told him that Spencer was in Monte Carlo, apparently gambling recklessly—Hawk hoped he was trying to make the fortune he could no longer acquire from him or Leonie! Hawk had been completely stunned when the police told him that a Mrs Sarah Ames occupied the room where they had found Holly.
He had realised then that something was wrong, although Sarah had certainly had the opportunity to get into the house and take Holly. But he hadn't been able to understand the demand for money.
He had arrived on the stairs leading down to the platform just in time to see some pink-haired clown pushing Leonie towards the train. He was hardly able to believe the woman could be his usually impeccable secretary, but recognised that the disguise and the location had been her means of escape. After killing Leonie…
They were all drinking coffee in the lounge together when Leonie heard Hawk's car in the driveway. He had been at the police station with Sarah for over three hours, but he had called a short time ago to let Leonie know he was on his way home.
She paused to look down at Holly as she slept. Hal had brought the carrycot in here for her so that she didn't have to be parted from the baby even for a moment, and she was certainly not eager to put her upstairs in her room. It would be a long time before she felt comfortable doing that again.
Hawk looked haggard as she went out into the hallway to meet him, taking her silently into his arms to just rest his head against hers.
'It was bad,' Leonie prompted after several minutes.
He drew in a ragged breath. 'She's convinced that I love her, that you tricked me into bed and are now tricking me into marriage.' He gave a shaky sigh. 'It was like seeing a complete stranger. She really believed that if she could get rid of you I would turn to her.' His arms tightened.
Leonie had already guessed that the ransom demand was just a way of getting her on her own, that the underground station had deliberately been chosen as a way of Sarah ridding herself of the person she believed stood in the way of her dreams, obviously sure she could escape during the mayhem she left in her wake, without ever being recognised.
What was more difficult to accept was that it was Sarah who had done these terrible things. She hadn't got to know the other woman that well, but she had always seemed friendly and warm when they had spoken. It must be even more difficult for Hawk to accept after knowing Sarah all these years!
'The others are in the lounge,' she told him. 'Would you like to go into the study and talk?' she suggested softly.
'Holly?' he frowned, glancing up the stairs. Their daughter's disappearance was a nightmare they were both going to have to live with for a long time!
'She's in the lounge with the others,' Leonie assured him softly.
He nodded. 'Then that's where we'll go. Has Jake heard anything from Stephen yet?' he frowned as they went through to the lounge.
Jake looked up as he heard the tail-end of the question, sighing deeply. 'He's admitted himself to a clinic for treatment,' he told them. 'His doctor telephoned this evening to let me know he's all right. I can't see him for a while but—Hell, I'm just glad to know where he is and that he's trying to help himself,' he groaned, his hand tightly squeezing June's as she sat beside him.
Leonie could see how moved Hawk was by the information, standing beside him as he paused to
gaze down at his daughter before answering the other man.
'I'm glad, Jake,' he said gruffly. 'Very glad,' he added warmly. 'Now perhaps you'll reconsider your resignation?' he added lightly.
Leonie smiled at Hawk's ability to comfort the other man without an outward show of affection that Jake just wasn't up to coping with tonight. They had all been in the room when Jake received the call about Stephen, had all witnessed his emotional relief. They knew he had been close to breaking down then, that he would have done so now if Hawk had handled the situation differently; and Jake certainly wouldn't have thanked him for that!
Jake glanced at June. 'I'll let you know,' he answered Hawk softly.
Hawk grinned his satisfaction at Leonie, both of them hoping that June and Jake would remain drawn to each other once the trauma they had both known had faded and their emotions were allowed to come forward; from the way Jake was looking at the blushing woman at his side it certainly seemed as if it was a possibility!
Leonie watched as Hawk glanced at Laura. Her sister was still badly shaken by what had happened to Holly, but Hal was being marvellous with her, and they had managed to persuade Laura to see the psychiatrist she should really have seen after their parents' death and whom only Leonie had visited.
'Don't look so worried, Hawk,' Laura drawled suddenly. 'I'll soon be arguing with you over working Hal too hard when he should be with me!'
Hawk grinned his relief. 'I'll look forward to it!' he teased.
Laura returned his smile, snuggled up against Hal. 'I should check with Leonie about my temper before sounding too pleased about it,' she taunted.
Laura had the reputed redhead's temper—the two of them had fought incessantly when they were children; Hawk might find his work cut out trying to win an argument against a fully armed Laura! Not that he looked too worried at the prospect.
'What's going to happen about Sarah, Dad?' Hal gave a pained frown. 'She had to be insane to do what she did!'
Leonie looked anxiously at the man she loved, knowing the last hours had to have been a tremendous strain for him.
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