by Lexi Blake
“I thought you might stop here.” His sister waved to her friend and started walking down the path toward him.
She’d lost weight. Mourning seemed to have aged her a bit, but he could see the girl in her face when she smiled at him. She was a year younger and worlds smarter than he was. She had looked up to him once.
“Did you? I wanted to see the old place.” He glanced up, but the woman who owned the house had gone back inside. “I needed to stand here for a minute. Please tell your friend I won’t ask to come inside or anything.”
She frowned. “She’s the head of the church social league. I’m afraid she considers you a bit of a sinner.”
A bit? Hell, he’d been the chief number one sinner for so long it was probably tattooed on his backside. It would take a while to convince these people he wasn’t still going straight to hell in a designer handbasket. “Is she going to give you trouble?”
“No. This town knows sin and gossip, but they also know about family. It’s going to be all right, Trev. Give it time.”
He had plenty of time. Days, hours, weeks, years. They stretched in front of him. A lifetime of penance for the man he was trying to become. “How did you know I was coming in early?”
“I called your friend, Leo. He’s very polite, that one.” Shelley held her arms out for a hug.
He pulled his kid sister into his arms. It felt good to hold her. Tears misted his eyes.
He didn’t mention that Leo was intensely attracted to her. There was no way he could miss the way Leo’s eyes lit up any time he mentioned Shelley. He’d seen it even at his mother’s funeral. Leo would never admit it, but even in Trev’s shaken, detoxifying state, he’d seen the effect his sister had on his mentor. Leo had watched her the whole time. Now Trev understood why. He’d never considered it before, but his sister, for all her fire, was probably submissive. And he wasn’t going to think about that.
His sister was also married. Sure, Bryce Hughes was the biggest asshole in the county, but she’d married him and showed no signs of divorcing. Leo was shit out of luck.
“Leo prides himself on his manners.” He moved his hat back. The early fall heat was making a sweaty mess of his hair. The air conditioner was out on the old Ford. He would need a shower before he met with Bryce. “So, he told you I left early?”
“Yep. He gave you up fast, big brother. Now, can you explain why you’re not staying with me?” She pulled back and put her hands on her hips.
Leo hadn’t been happy about his living arrangements, either. But there was no way Trev was going to upset his sister’s marriage. Bryce had been his biggest fan at one point in time, but he’d fled along with all the rest. Shelley would fight for him, but in this case, he didn’t want her to.
“I have to be on my own at some point.” It scared the hell out of him. He’d spent the last two years of his life under careful scrutiny. He’d stayed on at The Club for a whole year after the initial period because he liked the routine. He hadn’t had a chance to fuck up. Now he was out on his own. The only thing that kept him from a bottle was his willpower.
He wasn’t sure that was enough.
“I know that and I think you’re going to be fine,” she said. “But I thought it would be nice to have you around for a couple of days until you find your footing.”
Yeah. Bryce had made it plain at the funeral that Trev wasn’t welcome. His brother-in-law had called him a loser and an addict who’d failed everyone.
All of that might be true, but he knew his limits. He didn’t need to be around Bryce.
“So you’re going to live out on the O’Malley Ranch? I’ve heard some crazy stuff goes on there.”
Trev stared at his sister. He sincerely hoped she hadn’t given in to small-town small-mindedness. “Lexi O’Malley is a nice lady.”
He’d met her a couple of times along with her husbands. He’d spent a bit of time with Lucas O’Malley. He knew Aidan in passing. He knew Aidan’s brother, Bo, better, but Aidan seemed all right. He was a good Dom. That meant something to Trev.
Sometimes being a good Dom was all he had.
Shelley shook her head. “I know she is. I like that girl. She’s the funniest thing to hit this town in forever, but you should know that not everyone accepts what goes on at that ranch. They tolerate her because everyone knows her stepdad can be one mean son of a bitch when he thinks his family is being mistreated. I don’t know if they’re going to be any nicer to you, brother.”
They wouldn’t. It would be worse for him. He didn’t have a mean son-of-a-bitch stepdad with more money than god backing him up. He could handle it. He’d earned their disdain in a way Lexi hadn’t.
He was used to people turning up their noses at him. He’d found out the only thing people hated more than a fuckup was a fuckup who had it all at one point in time. People gloried in the fact that he had fallen from grace. His screwups had been played out in all the tabloids until Julian Lodge had taken over his life. There hadn’t been a single newspaper story about him since the day he’d walked into The Club. Trev was very aware that he owed his life and his sobriety to two men. Julian Lodge and Leo Meyer had taught him how to control himself. He would never forget that. His sobriety was a gift he worked to earn every damn day of his life.
“Well, I don’t care what everyone else thinks. I’m going to be the foreman of that ranch. They can like it or leave it. It doesn’t much matter. The cattle don’t care what goes on in the ranch house.” And they wouldn’t give a damn that he’d had it all and thrown it away for a momentary high.
Shelley grinned. “You have to get me invited to dinner. I’m so curious I could scream. I hear they spend a lot of time at that club where you worked. I would give a lot to find out what goes on there. Does Leo work there, too?”
He felt his brows draw together. “It’s a BDSM club, Shell. I hardly think your husband is going to show his face there.”
Her whole body seemed to deflate. He wished he hadn’t said it. It was a harmless fantasy for her. Wasn’t she entitled to that? “I guess so. I’m a small-town girl. That’s a bit out of my league.”
“Hey, if you want to go, I’ll get you in. Hell, I’ll have Leo give you a tour.” If his sister wanted to leave the rat bastard she married for Leo Meyer, Trev would facilitate her adultery. It wouldn’t be like she was cheating on a faithful man, from what he’d heard. It was another reason he didn’t want to stay with his sister. He was worried the temptation to kill his brother-in-law might prove too much for him to resist. He wasn’t good at resisting temptation.
She patted his chest. “No. I don’t think Bryce would much like that. I’ll have to live vicariously. Now, do you want to tell me why you came home early but didn’t bother to mention it to your only sibling?”
“I didn’t want you to make a big deal out of it.” If he knew his sister, she would have met him on the outskirts of town with balloons and a cake. “It’s best if I come in quietly, like I intend to live.”
“You can’t let them intimidate you.” Shelley had always been a bit of a rebel. Her good looks and sweet nature had ensured her place in the pecking order, but she tended to push the boundaries.
He intended to make sure she didn’t get in trouble because of him. He’d already caused his family enough heartache. “Don’t worry about me. I don’t intend to leave the ranch much. I’ll have a lot of work to do. From what I hear, O’Malley’s been without a foreman for a year. I’ll have my work cut out for me.”
It was exactly what he needed. A lot of ridiculously physical work. Ranch work would take up all of his time and leave him without the strength to even think about drinking at night. Or during the day. It was always there at the edge of his consciousness, teasing him, taunting him. He longed for the day where he didn’t think about a bottle.
The mischievous imp was back. Shelley’s eyes lit up. “I still wouldn’t mind coming out to that ranch sometime. They say it’s a den of inequity. Did you know that Lexi calls both those men her husband
s?”
Oh, it was worse than that. Trev had watched Aidan top his subs at The Club. Aidan and Lucas were lovers, too. A true threesome.
Trev had zero interest in sleeping with another man, but he envied Lucas and Aidan’s camaraderie. He’d liked the way they both worked to love and care for their wife. Maybe if he had someone like Lucas, he wouldn’t be so afraid he would fail a woman. He’d played with subs once he’d been given the go-ahead to work in The Club, but he hadn’t formed any kind of relationship. He wasn’t cut out for that.
Yeah, his BDSM past really would help his standing in the community. Hell, as far as he could tell, no one was going to talk to him, much less be friends with him. And he deserved it. He’d said some hateful things about his hometown when he was less than in control. He imagined he wouldn’t be forgiven for that either.
“I’ll see if I can get you invited out to dinner sometime.” Trev was looking forward to getting to know Aidan O’Malley. At least he had one person in this town he had a lot in common with. They had never said more than a passing hello while at The Club. Though they were from the same town, he’d been a couple of years behind Aidan in school.
He’d been surprised Aidan wanted him to be his foreman. He’d always assumed Aidan didn’t like him. It was nice to be proven wrong for once.
“Stay the night with us tonight.” Shelley practically pleaded with him.
It was a righteously bad idea, but she was his sister, and he’d been planning on spending the evening at a cut-rate motel since his meeting with Aidan wasn’t until tomorrow. “All right.”
Maybe it would be fine. Maybe he and Bryce would get along and he wouldn’t have to worry about causing his sister more trouble.
She hugged him. “I’m glad you’re home.”
He hoped she wasn’t the only one.
Chapter Two
Mouse put the finishing touches on the master bedroom. She’d cleaned the whole thing from top to bottom, and with a brand-new pillow-top mattress and satiny soft sheets on the big bed, it looked comfy and homey. She’d gotten rid of the heavy drapes and the dark quilts. Now the room looked light and airy, despite the ornate nature of the furnishings. Once she’d stripped and refinished the antique bedroom set, it would be perfect. For now, she was satisfied with her afternoon’s work. The bedroom was fresh and feminine, and the bathroom fixtures all worked. She’d scrubbed the bathroom until she was sure her arms would fall off, but it sparkled now. The antique claw-footed tub was a beautiful monstrosity. She couldn’t wait to soak in it, but she’d been practical. She’d used the shower.
She moved in front of the window unit, allowing the cold air to caress her skin. She felt different somehow.
Stronger.
She had a home, and it was all hers. Despite the fact that the majority of her belongings were back at her parents’ house, she intended to spend the night here. She had an overnight bag with some clothes and her personal items.
Of course, she could always try on the clothes she’d found. Her eyes strayed to the trunk she’d discovered in the back of the master closet. She’d felt odd opening it, like she was spying on someone, but according to the contract she’d signed, the trunk and all its contents now belonged to her. Maudine Bellows only had one relative, and he’d died six months before she had. Even if Barry Bellows hadn’t been killed in a car accident, she seriously doubted he would have wanted his elderly aunt’s clothes. The property was another matter. He would have been interested in that. Barry Bellows had run a real estate agency along with his partner, Bryce Hughes. Bryce had already offered to take the place off her hands.
She wasn’t interested in making a quick buck. If Bryce Hughes got his hands on the place, he would probably tear it down and put in a convenience store or a fast-food restaurant. The last thing Deer Run needed was another place to get a ninety-nine-cent burger.
She let the thought go. It was nicer to think about the trunk. It had been like finding a treasure trove. Gorgeous, classic clothes. Vintage designers. She knew a couple of the names. Chanel. Givenchy. Everything looked like it had come straight out of a Doris Day film. Or Audrey Hepburn.
Old lady Bellows had secrets she’d hidden.
And the pictures. She’d found wooden boxes with stacks of pictures. She’d stared at them in shocked disbelief. Apparently during Hollywood’s heyday, Maudine Bellows had worked in Dallas for Republic Pictures. The old black-and-white photos told the tale. Maudine was smiling as she stood next to John Wayne and Clark Gable.
Maudine had lived a life.
She couldn’t help but wonder why Maudine’s final years had been lonely and bitter. The woman smiling in the pictures alongside Claudette Colbert bore little resemblance to the Maudine Mouse had known.
Along with the clothes and photos, she’d found a thick book. A diary. Maybe the truth of Maudine’s life was in there. She’d only glanced at the first page, the lines written in a flowy, feminine hand. The first words of the diary had been written on July 5, 1956.
This is my diary. I will kill anyone who reads it. Yes. That means you.
Yep, there was a reason Maudine Bellows had never been married. Mouse touched the book and slid it into the dresser drawer she’d cleaned out earlier. It was now free of old antacids, a mildewed V.C. Andrews paperback, and a hideous set of what Mouse was pretty sure were bottom-teeth dentures. She’d handled those with care. There was a rumor that Maudine had eaten several local children with those false teeth.
She sighed and decided to get dressed. Bo should be here any minute. She picked out a skirt and a T-shirt. It was boring, but that was who she was.
Was that who she had to be?
She stared down at the vintage clothes. They looked like they might fit. Many of them were far too formal for dinner at Patty Cake’s, but there was a pretty yellow-and-white sundress. The skirt was gathered, and the neckline was far lower than anything she’d worn before. Surely it wouldn’t fit, but did it hurt to try?
Twenty minutes later, Bo knocked on her door. She let him in, grateful that a couple of lamps in the parlor worked. The hall light didn’t, but she had enough illumination from the parlor and the living room. She strode toward the back of the house to the living area and shut off the lamp, leaving only the soft light from the parlor on.
“Damn, girl, where did you get that dress? Why are you wearing a dress at all? You do know we’re going to Patty’s, right? Was I supposed to take you somewhere else?” Bo stood in her dilapidated hallway with a quizzical look on the face she loved.
Bo O’Malley was proof positive that the universe loved some people. He was six foot three, with a crop of perfect gold hair and a drool-worthy body. No one would ever think to compare him to a rodent. He looked down at her, his blue eyes wide.
“No. I just thought it would look nice.” She felt self-conscious all of a sudden. She was well aware that her breasts were far more exposed than she was used to. The bodice of the sundress formed a deep V, and the dress clung where her usual clothes hung down. She normally wore shapeless clothes that gave the illusion that she weighed more than she did. Her breasts seemed curvy and round now. A moment ago, she thought they looked a little sexy. She’d stood in front of the mirror and vamped, giggling at the thought that Bo might take one look at her and fall at her feet.
Bo didn’t look like he was interested in her new look. All she could read on his face was disapproval. Maybe she didn’t look as pretty as she thought.
His face was set in deep lines. He finally waved his hand as if dismissing the whole thing entirely. “It does look nice. I’m surprised is all. Um. I didn’t think you cared about looking nice.”
That was typical. Bo didn’t even see her as female. “Well, maybe I’m changing. I’m almost twenty-six. Maybe it’s about time I started dating.”
It was time. She had several plans in place.
Bo actually laughed.
“I’ll put something else on.” She started to turn and realized the choice she was facin
g. She could change back into her old clothes, but her mind would be working all night. At this point, all she would think about would be the fact that Bo didn’t find her attractive. He couldn’t help that. Maybe she needed a bit of distance. “You know what, I think I’ll eat here. You go on. I’m sure Clarissa needs a dinner date.”
His hand came out and caught her elbow. “Don’t be like that, Mouse. I was surprised. You never seemed interested in dating before. I’m sorry. Come on. I don’t want to eat dinner with Clarissa. I want to spend some time with my best friend.”
Her heart softened. It was a strange friendship that she and Bo had formed, but she depended on it. “All right.”
And she didn’t want to be alone tonight. She’d been alone far too often since her father passed. The quiet had begun to eat away at her. It was all right when she had something to do, but at night when she was all alone, she felt the heavy weight of her loss.
“Besides, I’m meeting Clarissa at the honky-tonk after I drop you back off. I might not want to spend a lot of time talking to the girl, but she can sure dance.” Bo gave her a wink and opened the door.
Mouse sighed. It looked like she was in for a long night.
* * * *
Trev kept his eyes on the menu, though he didn’t really need to. The menu at Patty Cake’s hadn’t changed in thirty years. He had it memorized, but looking at the menu meant he didn’t have to deal with his brother-in-law. Or the fifteen other people staring a hole through him. It was way too much to think that the good people of Deer Run were above reading tabloids.
“And now you’re going to run someone else’s ranch?” Bryce’s voice sounded nasal to Trev’s ears.
He glanced over the menu at his brother-in-law. Bryce Hughes was handsome in an antiseptic fashion. He was always fastidiously clean. Bryce had come up from Houston and started a real estate company. He’d done well for himself. Even when the market had fallen out, Bryce seemed to make money.
