by Rebecca Rode
“Everything Virgil told me was a lie,” I told her, my voice shaking. “I think he stole her experiment and killed her to pass it off as his own. It’s what he’s announcing tomorrow. It has to be.”
Millian frowned. “Tomorrow?”
“At a broadcast announcement. He asked me to deliver the news, actually.” Now I understood. It had little to do with public relations. This was about his biggest rival—my father. Dad had to know something about this, and Virgil wanted him silenced. What better way to do that than use his own daughter against him?
Virgil would answer for this one way or another.
Because I would not be used again.
Nineteen
Kole
Despite my best efforts at distraction, Legacy Hawking occupied my thoughts all the next day. Her face was on my mind during my morning run. I barely remembered eating lunch despite my hunger. I put my shoes on wrong and almost forgot my way around Neuromen’s mazelike hallways. The one thing that could persuade my brain to focus on anything else was Mom’s situation.
I wasn’t sure which subject was more miserable.
That afternoon, I shot off a quick message to Dane about the update announcement tomorrow and a recap of Ben the technician’s employment fears. I said nothing of Legacy and her intense security. All that remained was to find the money for a hospital transfer. Mom wouldn’t be truly safe until I helped her disappear. Unfortunately, Zenye had taken a chunk out of my savings. That meant I had to convince Dane to help without him knowing where the money would go.
That evening, I received another message from Ned. It was an order to meet him in the parking lot in ten minutes.
Dane was here.
I found my way to the lobby in a state of dread. There were a dozen possible reasons for his presence—communications weren’t as secure as I’d thought, or possibly a desire to express his anger in my inability to discover what the implant update actually did. Or maybe his approval of my work.
I snorted at that. Not likely.
A single unmarked transport waited near the front doors. I doubted it was a Firebrand vehicle. The finish was too clean, the interior too nice. I climbed in next to him and was immediately assaulted by the heavy smell of alcohol. His gaze, however, was clear.
“I got your message earlier. It was incomplete, but it confirmed my suspicions. In fact, I’ve set up a meeting with Virgil in about twenty minutes. This could be very exciting for the cause.”
My dread felt like a block of iron now. “That’s why you wanted to know what the update did. You intended to join up with him and use his technology.”
“Precisely. The timing is a bit early for us considering I have about two hundred new graduates still in training, but we’ll accelerate things. My last weapons shipment is due to arrive tomorrow, and most of the Firebrands have given their blood samples already. It should all work out.”
I blinked at that. Blood samples?
“Don’t look so baffled. I’ll handle everything. All you have to do is listen carefully.” He leaned forward, forcing me to slump back against the door. “By midnight tomorrow, you’ll kidnap the Hawking girl and bring her to me.”
The transport felt like it was moving. Or maybe that was my insides shrinking from the terrible words leaving his mouth.
“Kidnap her,” I repeated dumbly.
“For a scientist, you sure are dense sometimes. Yes, kidnap her. Or talk her into coming along if you two are as close as that Zori girl says. Just get her to my house by one.”
He meant Zenye. She’d reported my relationship with Legacy to Dane. “But why?”
“To force action on her family’s part, of course. Why do you think?”
I felt numb. The questions in my head went silent as I tried to grasp this new reality. I was a Firebrand. I’d taken the oath. Rejecting my uncle’s order meant death. It meant my body found next to a dumpster or dumped into the ocean.
I couldn’t run from this with my mom in the hospital. It was simple—I’d handed Dane control of my life when I accepted that stupid tattoo and took his stupid oath.
“You want to use her,” I said through gritted teeth. The words felt like rocks in my throat.
He looked surprised. “Of course. It’s like the fates decreed it, sending her here. Now, they say she’s a prickly one, so you may have to drug and carry her. Whatever you choose, do it quietly. One of my demands for Virgil—and I think he’ll agree—is that his security teams turn a blind eye to your escape. But if anyone else sees you, it’s over.”
His words barely registered. Two faces took up residence in my mind until I couldn’t think about anything else.
Legacy or Mom?
I couldn’t have both.
Dane watched me expectantly, his eyes darkening by the second. Fates. If I gave him any reason to doubt my loyalty, it was over anyway.
“Got it,” I managed and forced a smile. My insides screamed in protest. This wasn’t a choice I could make right now.
“My house by one,” he said firmly. “Or I’ll visit the hospital shortly afterward.” The implication was clear. It didn’t take a medical professional to unplug a machine.
He waved me out of the vehicle, an order with which I was happy to comply. I hurried to the doors and shoved my hands deep into my pockets, keeping my head down until I reached the men’s dorms once more. My room was empty, devoid of Lars’s belongings. They’d finally sent for his things. We’d removed one threat to Legacy only to welcome another.
That threat was me, because one thing was clear.
I would not let my mother die.
That night, I dreamed about Zenye.
She was dragging me down the bright halls of Neuromen, shouting something unintelligible. We emerged onto a huge fight taking place in the lobby. Enforcers wrestled with Firebrands, and bodies lay everywhere. Legacy stood at the center, downing an approaching pair of Firebrands with her fists. She held her own, but there was an underlying exhaustion that led me to believe she’d been fighting for a very long time. One second of distraction or weakness and she was a goner.
Zenye shoved a stunner in my hand and stepped back. “Kill her.”
I gaped at the stunner.
Zenye grabbed my arm and aimed the weapon. “Kill her now.” It was no longer her voice. It was Dane’s.
I lowered the weapon. “No.”
A hand grabbed me from behind and spun me around. The man’s eyes resembled Dane’s, but he had more hair and a straighter jaw. My father.
He slammed me against a wall and got right in my face. “You are my son, and you’ve taken up my cause. You will not say no when your path is laid out.”
It’s not your cause. The words wouldn’t come out. I was frozen, as I always was with my father around. Nobody spoke like that to Dad or his brother, Dane. They were a fearsome pair.
Except that somewhere in my mind, I remembered that Dad was dead. This had to be a dream. It was that realization that unlocked my tongue so I could speak. “I’m not a murderer.”
Dad’s eyes were red-rimmed, almost crazy. He swiped the stunner from my hand and placed it against my head. “Then you’ll be the one to die.”
I waited.
When I didn’t respond, Dad’s hand relaxed. For a moment, I thought he was bluffing, then I followed his gaze to a newcomer. Mom. She’d just walked in, still wearing her hospital gown with an IV tower following along behind her.
“Kole?” she asked. “What’s going on?”
With one smooth movement, Dad swung the stunner to her and pulled the trigger.
I woke up on the floor.
It was hard and cold. Breathing heavily, I checked the time: 05:21. My heart was galloping like an old-fashioned racehorse.
Just a dream. Nothing more.
Only this dream was more disturbing than most. The worst element wasn’t the order to kill Legacy or Dad shooting my mom. It was something I’d said.
I’m not a murderer.
I didn�
�t know what bothered me more—the fact that Dad hadn’t refuted it or the fact that it was a lie.
Twenty
Kole
My entire fifteen-year-old body tensed, every muscle on alert. I had the hearing of a hunting hound when Dad came home late. I glanced at the clock: 02:03 a.m. The only sound that mattered was the shuffling of objects being moved in the kitchen, a drawer slamming, and then another cupboard being searched. Finally, irregular footfalls squeaked up the stairs. Drunk again.
I dared to take a breath, noticing how my lungs burned. But it wasn’t over yet. Soon there would be muffled talking, then one of two things would happen—Dad would fall asleep and the house would plunge into silence once more, or the shouting would begin.
I couldn’t make out what my parents were saying through the ceiling overhead. Mom’s voice wasn’t as tired as it should be. She’d waited up for him.
Something hard slammed onto the floor upstairs. I sat bolt upright, my body tense once more. So much for the hope that he would go to sleep.
Mom grunted and began talking again, softly, as if to an upset child. He hated when she did that. There was another exchange, louder this time. Defensiveness crept into my mother’s voice.
I tossed the blankets aside and crept along the floor, avoiding the boards that squeaked. The drawer opened without a sound. I grabbed the stunner hidden beneath my bunched-up shirts and headed toward the stairs.
“ . . . is not for you,” Dad was saying in slurred speech. “You’re worthless. Always taking and demanding more.”
“We would’ve lost the house. Did you want our son to live on the street?”
“You’re too scared to ask your boss for a raise. You were always too afraid to do what needed to be done.”
“I’ve tried, and I’ll always do what I must to protect this family.” She paused. “Even against you.”
Another slap. This time Mom hit the wall and slid to the floor. I was halfway up the stairs.
The next strike was a kick. I knew it by the exhalation that burst from my mother’s mouth.
My father’s voice was a gunshot in the otherwise quiet house. “Don’t.” Another kick. “You.” Kick. “Talk back to me.”
“Stop,” she squeaked.
He swore. There was a swish of liquid in a packet. It was always worse when he brought the alcohol home. Another late “meeting” with his Firebrand friends.
“Please,” she gasped from the floor. “I can’t support us alone anymore. I need the man I married to come back to us.”
I took my usual place by their open doorway. We’d scraped by on Mom’s income my entire life while Dad spent his own. She must have gotten desperate and dipped into his account to pay the bills this month. I didn’t realize things had gotten so bad.
He guffawed and tossed the alcohol packet. It hit the wall too. “The man you married was a fool. I’ve finally discovered what I was meant to do, and it was never this. Dane’s opened my eyes to what’s possible.”
“What, secret murders and kidnappings?” Mom snapped. “That’s not how we change things.”
I went rigid. Mom knew better than to answer like that when he was drunk. Dad couldn’t be reasoned with. He wasn’t thinking straight. It made him do things he shouldn’t.
Dad went quiet.
I gripped the stolen stunner, feeling its smooth surface slip in the slickness of my sweaty hand. I’d brought the weapon up with me a dozen times on nights just like this one. But the thought of actually using it always rendered my fingers still. There were a dozen excuses—it was dark. I could miss and hit Mom. He would turn and attack me instead. He would remember and take the weapon from me, using it on both of us.
I lowered the weapon.
“Don’t—” she cried.
The next blow silenced her completely. I flinched as she hit the floor again and was still.
Dad grumbled under his breath. The clang of a belt buckle broke the silence, and then came the all-too-familiar sound of liquid.
Dad was pissing on my mother.
The rage overcame me then—a rage borne of a hundred nights just like this one. Nights of silent terror that I tried unsuccessfully to forget. Nights that left Mom broken, sometimes in the hospital for days at a time. Nights that would never end so long as I stood watching.
With this stunner, there would be no reason to fear again.
I entered the doorway, weapon lifted. I squinted in the moonlight spilling from the window and found his silhouette near the corner, his back to me.
I leveled the weapon at him.
And pulled the trigger.
The day after my meeting with Dane was the longest of my life. The minutes crawled by. I spent the day checking the windows, waiting for nightfall yet dreading it all at once. By this time tomorrow, it would be over. Legacy would be in the hands of my uncle, and it would be me who put her there. She would never trust me again.
The fact that Mom would be safe—at least for now—somehow didn’t make me feel any better.
By the time Neuromen’s power mandate hit and the lights dimmed, that massive chunk of iron in my stomach felt heavier than ever.
I waited outside Legacy’s room longer than I should have. Finally, I banged my fists on the door, wincing at the noise. It opened in seconds, the relief sweeping across Legacy’s face ratcheting up my guilt. She wore a tank top that revealed slender shoulders, sandals, and shorts so short I had to tear my gaze away.
“You know, breaking down a girl’s doors is generally considered inconsiderate.” She countered the words with a smile. A real one, not the fake camera presence she’d had at our Declarations.
It was a smile I couldn’t return. In fact, I struggled to look at her without feeling sick. “Doesn’t look like I woke you.”
“I was up. Not sleeping well these days.” Her smile fled, replaced by the shadow of anger. I wanted nothing more than to ease the darkness from her features and bring that smile back. Instead, I was here to betray her just like everyone else she knew.
“Can we walk?” I asked.
She shot a look at her roommate and stepped out into the hallway, closing the door behind her. The knife stabbing my gut wrenched itself even deeper. Two days ago, she never would have agreed so quickly. Had so much changed between us? I wondered what more could have changed if it weren’t for Dane’s new order.
She cocked her head. “Did you wake me up so you could stare at me? Because I already have quite enough of that in my life.”
“Sorry. It’s just that I couldn’t sleep, and I figured you couldn’t either, and . . . I just needed someone to talk to.” Idiot. I sounded like a whiny schoolboy.
“I get that.” Her hand brushed mine as we walked. Accidentally? It was hard to tell.
“Are you doing okay? Lars is gone, in case you wondered. The enforcers asked me to tell you they’ll need your statement soon.”
“I spoke with them earlier, and I’m fine.” She paused. “Will they tell my dad?”
“I don’t think so. As a legal adult, they would need your permission first.”
She nodded. “Good.”
I checked the time. A transport would pull up to the front soon, likely the one Dane had hired yesterday. Assuming Virgil kept his bargain, there would be no driver and no witnesses. Nobody would ever know what happened tonight.
Except me. I would know.
I fingered the tattoo on my chest, the skin under it still slightly raised and tender. The same tattoo my father had worn. The words of our traditional oath echoed through my mind—words Dad had written.
I will direct the Undiscerning Sun to reach those in the Shadows. I will never stop pushing for change. I will protect my Firebrand family to the loss of my blood or my life. I will enact change in my community until the day I die, no matter the cost.
“You’re quiet tonight,” Legacy said. Her fingers found my arm, and she pulled me to a stop. Her expression was one of concern. “Are you all right?”
I knew
where that oath would take me. I’d already killed my own father. What more would I do before finally deciding who I wanted to become? Spying was one thing. Kidnapping was entirely another, especially Legacy Hawking. If caught, it wouldn’t be Dane who went to prison. And if I succeeded, I’d spend my life behind invisible bars of my own making. Bars that had once held my father bound.
Dad was not what I wanted to become.
I’d joined the Firebrands because I didn’t have a choice. But I’d eventually convinced myself I was fighting for equality, helping those who felt stuck in their lives. People like Mom. I still felt strongly that something needed to change, but I knew better than anyone that having my uncle and his Firebrands in charge would be a disaster.
It would mean exchanging one regime for another.
Legacy followed my gaze to the hallway that led to the lobby. “Kole, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?”
“I can’t do it,” I said softly.
“Do what?”
“Lie to you. Betray your trust.” I swallowed. “Use you like the others.”
Her fingers ripped from my arm as she took a step backward, horror spreading across her face. “You’d better explain.”
“The leader of the Firebrands, Dane, is my uncle. He ordered me to kidnap you.”
She shot a glance down the hallway, but we were alone. I gave her all the space she needed. “But you won’t. Because you feel guilty.”
“I won’t because it’s wrong. There are feelings involved, but there shouldn’t be.”
She took another step back. “So last night, and the day before that. It was all an act?”
I shook my head firmly. “All real. At least for me. I never intended for you to get tangled in this. But my uncle found out I was growing close to you, which also never should have happened. You deserve better.”
