The Rogue’s Dangerous Confession (Dangerous Desires Book 3)
Page 33
“What are you getting at, Mama? You know I don’t like people talking in riddles.”
Rosie looked like she was about to protest. Then her shoulders slumped and she sighed. “You need to tell him about Katherine, Arabella.”
Arabella gritted her teeth. This again. She shook her head. “I don’t need to tell him anything. It’s none of his business.”
“How is it none of his business? She’s his granddaughter. His only grandchild. Or have you forgotten?”
“He’s got Lord Derby’s niece. His son married Lady Sarah, so that makes her daughter his grandchild.”
“Katherine is his blood.” Rosie folded her arms, matching Arabella’s stance. “You need to tell him.”
“No, I don’t.”
Arabella didn’t want to think about the reaction the Viscount would have once he found out he had a granddaughter. Katherine would be taken away from her. Arabella wasn’t about to lose her little girl because a wealthy family wanted their blood living their lifestyle.
Rosie huffed. “For goodness sake, Bella! What do you think is going to happen? That he’s going to take Katherine away?”
“Yes! He wouldn’t want Katherine living anything less than a good life.”
“And she is living a good life,” Rosie pointed out. “Katherine is healthy, and she’s very bright. Viscount Harrison isn’t about to take her away from her other grandparents. He’s a good man.”
“Appearances can be deceptive, you know,” Arabella shot back. “Just look what happened to Mrs. Day’s second husband.”
Arabella had just started work as one of the scullery maids when the murders had happened, poisonings committed by Doctor James Day. It had been a harrowing time, and Arabella had believed Doctor Day was above suspicion. He had been a good, kind man. Clearly, he wasn’t, and he had been executed as a murderer.
Arabella knew only too well how quickly people could change.
Rosie shook her head, giving her daughter a disapproving look.
“Just because you made a mistake doesn’t mean you’re going to do it again. You need to be less cautious about people and trust again.”
“The only people I trust to take care of my daughter other than myself are you and Papa. I won’t have anyone else getting involved.”
Arabella meant it. It did pain her not to have Katherine’s father in her life, but she knew that what they had done would create a scandal. If none of the Harrison family knew, then it prevented David from dealing with a scandal and Arabella from losing her daughter.
“If and when he finds out and that you had no intention of telling him, it’s going to be worse for you,” Rosie warned.
Arabella glared at her. Then she pushed past her mother and into the house. Her mother had the ability to make her feel guilty about the slightest thing. Even when she was a mother herself, and Arabella hated it.
* * *
Arabella did her best not to show her annoyance during lunch - Katherine didn’t need to see that - but she was fuming on the way home, purposefully going back through the trees. She had heard Rosie shouting after her, but Arabella ignored her.
Rosie knew very well why Arabella wouldn’t say anything about Katherine to Viscount Harrison. They were of a much lower class, and Arabella was not married to his son. As soon as Katherine was born, she would have been whisked away to be raised in the big house with a proper education, growing up around the proper people. Arabella would get visits, if she was lucky, but she wouldn’t get any say over her daughter’s upbringing.
Her mother had protested that Viscount Harrison wouldn’t do that as he was too good a man, but Arabella wasn’t willing to take that chance. Even the nicest of people could change in the right situation. Arabella had witnessed it with other people, and she knew it would happen here. Women didn’t have a say in anything in life, and she wouldn’t be seen as the right choice for Katherine’s upbringing.
Arabella hadn’t wanted to go through that. And, once Katherine was born, neither did her parents. Both of them had been absolutely furious when they found out Arabella was with child. Her father had shouted at her, berating her for doing something so stupid. Her mother had simply cried, believing Arabella had completely ruined herself. In Arabella’s mind, she hadn’t ruined herself at the time - she had been giving willingly to the man she loved - but things changed when she became pregnant. That she couldn’t hide, and she certainly wouldn’t be getting a loving proposal of marriage. Or even a marriage at all; no one would marry a girl with no prospects and no dowry.
It had taken a while, but Arabella had managed to persuade her parents that they needed to leave Ireland. She wanted to go back to England, put distance between them and the Harrison family. They hadn’t been happy about leaving, as life in Ireland was good for them and it was like they were running from their responsibilities, but they had eventually agreed. Arabella had cried all the way back to England, almost wasting away in her sadness. If it hadn’t been for Rosie urging her to eat and remember the baby, Arabella wouldn’t be here now.
The moment she had held Katherine in her arms had been beautiful. All the pain of childbirth had melted away and Arabella found herself staring at the screaming baby that wriggled against her chest. She was a mother, and everything was about protecting her daughter. Arabella wouldn’t let anyone take her away. Certainly not the father of the baby.
She had contemplated contacting him in the past, just to let him know that she was alive. Arabella hadn’t liked leaving without a word, but she knew there would be a lot of questions, or propositions that Arabella didn’t think she could accept. She was too proud, and she had committed a scandal already. It was meant to be a clean break. Clearly, in her mind it wasn’t clean.
Eight years had passed, and there wasn’t a day that went by where Arabella didn’t regret her actions. Then she remembered Katherine and what would have happened had they stayed, and she strengthened her resolve. Katherine was her daughter and she was staying.
Chapter Five
Arabella was still firm in this resolve as she returned to Anna’s cottage. It was quiet when she went in. Even Jeffrey was making himself scarce, more than likely having his own meal in the kitchen. Arabella shrugged out of her coat, putting it away in the closet along with her gloves and hat.
“Mrs. Day? I’m back.”
There was a sudden murmur of voices, and then sudden silence. Arabella paused. Whatever was going on? What was Jeffrey up to? And where was Anna? She hadn’t made any plans to leave after lunch. If anything, she was going to stay in and work on some letters.
Where was everyone?
“Mrs. Day?”
Arabella went into the morning room. And turned away with a startled scream.
“Oh, God!”
It wasn’t something she could get out of her head now. Anna and Viscount Harrison had been on the couch by the window. Anna had been draped across Harrison’s lap as Harrison kissed her with such vigor that it made Arabella giddy. The shoulder of Anna’s dress had slipped down, and Harrison’s hand had been drifting up Anna’s leg, going under her skirts.
There was a rustling of clothes, and then Harrison spoke. He sounded amused. “You can turn around, Arabella. We’re decent.”
“I don’t know about that,” Arabella snorted. She turned back, now seeing Anna on her feet brushing her skirts down and Harrison still sitting as he buttoned up his shirt. She tried not to look further down, choosing to concentrate on a point just over Harrison’s head. “What do you think you’re doing, Lord Harrison?”
“Do you really need me to tell you the details?”
“Ian!” Anna swatted his shoulder. “Don’t!”
“Forgive me, my dear.” Harrison rose to his feet, reaching for his jacket that was draped over the arm of the couch. “You need to make your presence known a bit more, Arabella. We didn’t hear you come in.”
“We did, but Lord Harrison decided to ignore you.” Anna glared at him. “So much for gentlemanly mann
ers.”
Arabella tried to look anywhere but at Harrison. He was a very handsome man, tall, lean and dark-haired, though it was turning to silver. It was no wonder that Anna Day was smitten. Any woman with a pulse would be drawn to him.
Arabella knew that pull only too well. The man looked far too much like David, and that set off a pang in her chest. Arabella swallowed hard and squared her shoulders.
“If you’re going to do that, My Lord, would you please lock the door or make it known that you’re...well…”
Harrison chuckled. “You want me to make your mistress moan as I ravish her so you know not to come in? I’m sure that can be arranged…”
“Ian!”
Arabella was so shocked she almost burst out laughing. The man had David’s sense of humor as well. Harrison was still laughing as he slid an arm around Anna’s waist.
“It’s all right, Anna. I’m not that much of a cad. And I prefer privacy.”
“Clearly not right now,” Arabella grunted.
Harrison’s eyes twinkled as he looked at her. Arabella wished he wouldn’t look at her like that. She preferred it when he was morose and pining for his dead wife. Now there was a new lease of life in him. She clenched her hands behind her back.
“You haven’t lost that spritely attitude, Arabella,” Harrison commented. “All those years away haven’t tempered you.”
“I’m glad I can please, My Lord.” Arabella turned to Anna, who was still flushed. “Do you want me to do anything right now, Mrs. Day? Like show Lord Harrison out?”
Anna bit her lip, her eyes shining with mirth as she looked up at Harrison.
“I think that’s your cue to leave, Ian.”
“Then I will take my leave. I know when I’m not wanted.” Ian took Anna’s hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing her knuckles. “I’ll see you tonight for dinner?”
“You will.”
Never taking his eyes off her, Harrison kissed Anna’s hand again before he stepped away. Arabella cleared her throat and headed towards the door, opening it as Harrison came into the room. The man took his time getting his things together, putting his hat on as he stepped out onto the threshold. He touched his forelock towards Arabella before walking away, whistling and twirling his cane.
God, even his whistling sounded like David.
Arabella shut the door hurriedly and went back to the morning room. Anna was at the window watching Harrison leave. She turned as Arabella came in, the sunrays lighting up her blonde hair. It was like she had a halo. But, she was frowning instead of smiling.
“Why are you so harsh towards Lord Harrison, Arabella?” she asked.
“He was committing an impropriety where people could catch you, Mrs. Day. What was I supposed to say?”
Anna raised her eyebrows. “I’m a twice-widowed woman. Considering the scandals I went through with those two men, I don’t think another one is going to do me any harm. And Lord Harrison is a widower himself.”
“Even so, I don’t want to walk in and see something like that,” Arabella said sharply. “That’s something that should be kept in the bedchamber.”
Anna watched her curiously. Arabella hated being under scrutiny. Anna Day was a shrewd woman, much smarter than anyone gave her credit for.
“I understand what you might have seen would have been a bit of a shock to you, Arabella.” Anna’s voice was careful, as if she was trying to work something out. “But it’s not just that. You’ve been prickly with him since he first arrived.”
Arabella said nothing. She wasn’t about to explain herself. Anna had questioned her about it before and Arabella had managed to brush it off, but she knew she couldn’t do it forever. Anna would find out, and she would tell Harrison about Katherine. Even so, Arabella would fight it as long as she could.
“Did Lord Harrison hurt you when your father worked for him?” Anna asked suddenly.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Did he hurt you? If he did, you must tell me…”
Arabella was shaking her head already. “No, of course not. Lord Harrison is a good gentleman, always has been. The most respectful of the gentry I’ve ever come across, apart from Lord Derby.”
“I’m glad about that.” Anna frowned. “But if that’s not it, why are you so...I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s certainly not respectful.”
Arabella swallowed. She hated being under such scrutiny. Her mother had just done this to her; she didn’t need her employer doing it as well.
“I have some memories of Ireland that I don’t want to recall. Through no fault of his own, Lord Harrison makes me remember.” She gritted her teeth. “Forgive me for being impolite, Mrs. Day, but I don’t wish to discuss it.”
The two women stared at each other. Anna’s expression said she wasn’t going to let this go, that she wanted to ask more, but she was pulling back. Arabella was grateful for that. Some women didn’t know when to let go, like her mother. Anna was sharper than that. Although, Arabella knew that this would only be a brief reprieve.
“I’ll let it go,” Anna said quietly. “For now. But you must talk to me soon, Arabella. Things are progressing in my relationship with Lord Harrison, and if I’m going to pursue any further, I must know if he’s been improper or unkind to anyone. I don’t want to be involved with a third man who is going to treat me badly or kill me.”
“Lord Harrison is the kindest man you could come across.” Arabella could say that honestly. “I haven’t got a bad word to say about him. He’s never been improper with me or anyone else.”
“Really?”
“Who else would put up with my ‘spritely attitude’?”
Anna’s mouth twitched. Her shoulders slumped. Arabella hadn’t realized her mistress had been nervous. She had seen her months before when Lady Sarah had married Harrison’s son; Anna was smitten with the Viscount. And it was mutual. This match looked perfect, and Arabella knew from Anna’s past that she deserved some happiness. You couldn’t get anyone better than Ian Harrison.
Arabella just wished he wasn’t related to David.
“I think I’ll go and sit outside in the garden for a while,” Anna said quietly, heading towards the door. “Make me some tea, will you?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Arabella followed her mistress out, heading towards the kitchen. Jeffrey was standing in the doorway, watching her with narrowed eyes. How much had he heard? Arabella didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t have to answer to him.
“You need to be careful,” Jeffrey murmured as Arabella stepped past him into the kitchen.
“What are you talking about?”
“Mrs. Day isn’t stupid, Arabella. She’s going to figure out why you’re so short with Lord Harrison.” Jeffrey paused, straightening up from the doorframe. “And who was really improper with you.”
Arabella flushed. She glared at her brother. “I’m not having this discussion,” she said in a clipped voice.
“And the Viscount will figure it out himself.” Jeffrey went on, “You don’t have to be smart to know why you’re so standoffish with him when you’re in the same room.”
“I said I’m not having this discussion, Jeffrey,” Arabella snapped. “I’ve just had it with Mother. I don’t want you doing it as well.”
“If you didn’t want that, you shouldn’t have let David Harrison take advantage of you.”
Arabella growled, slamming the tea tray onto the kitchen table. “He never took advantage of me. It was a willing act.”
“If that’s the case, why do you act like you regret Katherine’s birth?”
Arabella flinched. She bared her teeth at her brother. “I think you’ve got some silver to polish. Get on with your work and leave me be.”
Jeffrey stared at her for a moment longer, then left the kitchen, buttoning up his jacket. Arabella slumped against the table, burying her face in her hands. Jeffrey was more shrewd than he made himself out of me, but he was wrong. Mostly. Arabella didn’t regret having Kat
herine; she was a joy and Arabella would do it again. She just regretted how she had been made.
If only things had been different. But Arabella wasn’t gentry and David wasn’t a regular working man. It would never have worked.
And a child was surely going to make that fact more glaringly obvious.
* * *
David knew tea kept him awake, and was expecting not to go to sleep anytime soon. He was more than likely going to end up sleeping on the way to the ferry at Cardiff. But shortly after finishing his second cup of tea, talking to Peter about mindless things and listening to his brother’s elaborate escapades on the sea, David felt like he could fall asleep on the couch. His eyes started to close and his head felt like he was full of cotton wool.