by Mike Litwin
“This all started when you showed up yesterday!” Patty accused him. “First Dakota disappeared, then Chuck disappeared, and now this crazy snow! You brought this on us! Make it go away!”
Trembling in the cold, the anxious crowd mooed in agreement.
“You don’t understand,” Big-Chuck stepped in. “It’s not his fault. See, there’s this magic shell …”
“Magic shell?” Leatherneck repeated.
“Is he serious?” Patty cried.
“They’ve both gone mad!” Chopper boomed. “Mad cows!”
The crowd went from frightened to angry. They stamped their hooves and snorted. Dakota may not have grown up on Bermooda, but he knew what to do when facing a mob of angry cattle. He suddenly wished he wasn’t wearing a red shirt.
“Run!” Dakota shouted.
Chuck and Dakota ran. The horde of spooked cattle charged after them. They rushed toward the trees, hoping to lose the stampede in Bermooda’s thick jungle. Dakota tried to scramble up the closest banana tree, but his hooves just slipped and slid on the smooth tree trunk. In a flash, he remembered he no longer had the hu’man fingers and toes that made climbing trees so easy. He was a real calf now, and, after all, he had wished to never have to climb a banana tree again.
They both ran deeper into the snowy jungle, with Chuck in the lead and Dakota falling behind. By the time Dakota reached the hilly base of Lookout Bluff, he had lost sight of Chuck completely. He stood on an icy mound, frantically looking for a place to hide as the crowd got closer. Suddenly a big blue arm reached up, grabbed his leg, and pulled him down off the hill. Chuck had found a tiny hollow space under the knoll. They kept their heads down and their mouths shut until the angry crowd had gone past and all was quiet.
“I think we lost them,” Chuck said. They now heard nothing but tiny ringing laughter. Laughter coming from Dakota’s shirt pocket. Dakota pulled the shell from his pocket and put it to his ear. Sure enough, the sound of giggling had replaced the sound of the ocean.
“Hey!” Dakota snarled in a hushed whisper and he knocked on the shell. “Zephyr! Swirl yourself out here now!”
Zephyr obediently swirled out of his shell. Indeed, he was snickering at the whole situation. “Is everything ‘cooled down’ enough for you, sir?” he asked between chuckles.
“You think this is funny?” Dakota asked. “I didn’t wish for snow! Why would you do this?”
“Why?” Zephyr repeated. “Why? Because I’m bored, that’s why! Do you know what it’s like giving everyone whatever they want all day, every day, for thousands of years? It’s even more boring than sitting inside that shell! Why shouldn’t I mix it up with a little fun for myself?” Zephyr’s cloud grew darker and lightning flashed inside.
“And believe me—this is very fun!” he continued, his voice getting deeper. “You’d be surprised how greedy one can be when one has unlimited wishes. No matter what happens, folks just can’t … quit … wishing!”
“Make all this stop!” Chuck demanded.
Zephyr spun a little faster. “Is that your wish … sir? Think carefully!”
Chuck and Dakota stiffened. Zephyr was clearly waiting to have fun with another one of their wishes. What if he decided to stop time completely? Or something even worse?
“See? You don’t have the power to beat me!” the mischievous genie screeched. “Theonly way to stop me is to stop wishing! Do you have the power to stop wishing, you greedy little cows?” Zephyr’s laughter grew harder and louder. So hard that tears fell from his cloudy eyes like raindrops. So loud that it echoed off the rocks like thunder.
“There they are!” came Chopper’s voice from the trees. Chuck and Dakota poked their heads up to see the bright orange bull running toward them, followed by what appeared to be most of Bermooda slushing through the deepening snow. Zephyr had spoiled their hiding place. Chuck and Dakota charged up the cold slope of the bluff with the whole herd in hot pursuit.
Zephyr no longer hid from view. He hung out of his shell, trailing behind Dakota and cackling wildly as the snow fell down even heavier. “Waaaaaahuuuuuuuu!” Zephyr mockingly howled. “I’m the Big Cowhuna!”
“That twisted genie’s gone crazy!” Dakota yelped. “He’s completely bananas!”
No sooner had Dakota said the words than dozens of chocolate-covered bananas suddenly began popping up out of thin air. They rained down from the sky, slapping Chuck and Dakota in the face and falling under their feet as they ran. Chuck quickly started plucking bananas from the air, opening them, and throwing the peels on the icy ground behind them. Chopper slipped on one of the peels and fell sprawling onto the ground, tripping up several other cows.
Dakota and Chuck continued all the way to the edge of the cliff, where Lookout Light stood covered in icicles.
“Do something!” Chuck said as they scrambled up the lighthouse steps. “I’m all out of ideas!”
“What am I supposed to do?” Dakota cried over the sound of Zephyr’s hysterical laughter. “Anything I wish for, this genie will just twist into a nightmare!” Bananas rained down on their heads. “Everything’s completely messed up! All because of this stupid shell! I wish we’d never even found this horrible thing!”
Zephyr’s laughter suddenly stopped. In fact, everything slowed down and stopped, as if time itself had become as frozen as the weather. Bermooda was blanketed in a thick silence, disturbed only by a slight whispering voice: “As you wish.”
All at once, life began moving slowly in reverse. The snowflakes fell upward. The crowd ran backward down the bluff, followed by Chuck and Dakota. Bananas disappeared into thin air. Then things began moving faster and faster. The campfire, the surf contest, Leatherneck’s cart … it all whipped past Chuck and Dakota in a blur as they felt their bodies being pulled backward and memories being pulled from their heads. The blur became a white haze, and the haze became a bright flash. Before they knew it, there was nothing around them but a brilliant light and the peaceful sound of the ocean.
Chuck and Dakota lounged in the thick grass under the tall banana trees. The day was quiet and peaceful. No mysteries, no discoveries, no adventures of any kind. Just the crashing of waves, a warm breeze, and the gentle cawing of seagulls. As far as Dakota was concerned, it was perfect.
“Pass me another banana,” he said.
“This is the last one,” Chuck said, tossing it to him. “If you want more, you’ll have to climb another tree.”
Dakota looked up at the trees towering over them. He felt quite relaxed at the moment and was not in the mood to scramble back up and fetch any more bananas. Propping his back against a tree, he pulled his straw hat down over his eyes and folded his hands behind his head.
Meanwhile Chuck paced back and forth in the grass. “I’m soooooo boooooored!” Chuck mooed. “Aren’t you bored?”
“Nope,” Dakota replied from under his hat. “I’m just fine right here.”
But Dakota felt something peculiar about that question. Did we have this discussion once before? he thought. He heard the sound of Chuck clomping over to him. Suddenly his eyes were treated to a flood of warm sunlight as Chuck pulled the hat off his face.
“Can we at least take a walk?” Chuck asked.
As Dakota blinked in the sudden brightness, the odd feeling got stronger. Yes, he was certain they’d had this discussion once before. Dakota racked his brain as he climbed to his feet.
“Sure,” he said, adjusting his cow mask.
They ambled toward the beach and strolled along the shore. But as they walked, Dakota still could not shake the strange sensation. Everything they did and every word they said felt so familiar, like an old recording that was being replayed or a chapter in some book he’d already read.
“Are you getting a weird feeling right now?” Dakota asked. “Like we’ve already done this? That we’ve had this exact same conversation?”
“You mean déj�
� moo?” Chuck asked. “It’s when you feel like you’ve already grazed in a certain pasture once before.”
“Whatever,” Dakota said. “This whole thing just feels way too familiar.”
“Of course it feels familiar,” Chuck sighed, picking up a rock from the beach. “We’ve probably made this boring walk a billion times.” He tossed the rock far ahead of them. It whizzed through the air and landed in the soft sand with a loud clank!
Chuck and Dakota exchanged confused looks.
“What was that clanking noise?” Chuck wondered aloud.
They trotted up to the place where the rock had landed, looking for the source of the sound. There, half-buried in the sand, they found a shiny purple shell.
The shell was twisted into a cone-shaped spiral like a tiny tornado. Its entire surface was covered with a pattern of loops and swirls, as if thousands of permanent fingerprints had been left all over it. A string of symbols was etched along its twisted spiral curve. They almost looked like letters but not in any language that Chuck or Dakota could read.
“Wow!” Chuck said. “Now this is amazing!” He turned the shell over in his hooves. “Look at these weird loopy patterns! And these markings! It almost looks like some kind of ancient writing. I’ve never seen anything like this before.”
“Are you sure?” Dakota shivered as he looked down at the strange shell. “I don’t know. I feel like I recognize it somehow.”
Glowing in the late afternoon sun, the shell looked as though it were alive. A gleam ran across its pearly purple surface, as if it were telling Dakota that it knew something he didn’t know.
Chuck shook his head. “Don’t you get it?” he asked. “Nothing like this occurs in nature. This shell shouldn’t be here.”
“Well, I can fix that,” Dakota said. He snatched the shell out of Chuck’s hooves and flung it as hard as he could out into the ocean. It disappeared beneath the churning surf with a tiny ploop!
“So long, weirdo shell!” Dakota called out into the rolling waves. “Best wishes! You don’t belong here!”
“Heeeeeeyyy!” Chuck whined. “I was gonna keep that! You know I like to collect cool stuff!”
“Every time you find something weird, it always gets us into some kind of trouble,” Dakota reminded him.
Disappointed, Chuck gazed at the spot where Dakota had thrown the shell. Beyond it, they saw Wahu Brahman surfing in the distance. Tomorrow, Wahu would be competing in the Cowabunga Classic, where dozens of calves would be following him with starry eyes. As they watched Wahu practice, Dakota tugged and pulled on his cowmouflage, which had started to itch in the warm sun.
“Boy, I’d sure love it if I didn’t have to wear this costume anymore,” Dakota muttered.
“Sorry,” Chuck said. “I don’t think Bermooda is ready for a hu’man just yet.” He really did feel bad that Dakota had to stay in disguise all the time, but he knew that cows spook pretty easy. He changed the subject.
“Hey, you know what would taste good on those?” he said, pointing to the banana still in Dakota’s hand. “Chocolate!”
“Ugh. No thanks,” Dakota grimaced. For some reason, this delicious idea made him feel sick to his stomach. “Speaking of food, we should head home. It’s almost suppertime. We don’t want to be late.”
Chuck agreed. They started off toward the Porter House, but not before Chuck took one last look at the tiny blue shape of Wahu shredding waves out in the ocean.
“You know, I’ll bet I get to be as good a surfer as Wahu Brahman someday,” Chuck said.
“Ha,” Dakota chuckled, finishing his banana. “You wish.”
All rights reserved, including without limitation the right to reproduce this ebook or any portion thereof in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Text and illustrations copyright © 2015 by Mike Litwin
978-1-5040-0101-4
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