by Jeff Kinney
_ _ _ the Cheese.
sputter
gasp
gag
210
I knew they were gonna make me do it, too. I
started to panic, because I knew I wasn’t going
to be able to fight my way out of this situation.
So I did some fast talking instead.
And believe it or not, it actually worked.
i would, but
i’m allergic
to diary!
you’re
lucky,
punk!
i know,
i know!
211
I guess the teenagers were satisfied they had
made their point, because after they made
Rowley finish off the rest of the Cheese, they
let us go. They got back in their truck and
took off down the road.
Me and Rowley walked home together. But neither
one of us really said anything on the way back.
I thought about mentioning to Rowley that
maybe he could have pulled out a couple of his
karate moves back there, but something told me
to hold off on that thought for right now.
shudder
shudder
212
Tuesday
At school today, the teachers let us outside
after lunch.
It took about five seconds for someone to
realize the Cheese was missing from its spot on
the blacktop.
Everybody crowded around to look at where the
Cheese used to be. Nobody could believe it was
actually gone.
People started coming up with these crazy theories
about what happened to it. Somebody said that
maybe the Cheese grew legs and walked away.
heyyyyyyyyy!
213
It took all my self-control to keep my mouth
shut. And if Rowley wasn’t standing right
there, I honestly don’t know if I could have
kept quiet.
A couple of the guys who were arguing over what
happened to the Cheese were the same ones who
were egging me and Rowley on yesterday afternoon.
So I knew it wasn’t going to be long before
someone put two and two together and figured out
that we must have had something to do with it.
Rowley was starting to panic, and I don’t
blame him, either. If the truth ever came out
about how the Cheese disappeared, Rowley would
be finished. He’d have to move out of the state,
and maybe even the country.
mmf!
214
That’s when I decided to speak up.
I told everyone that I knew what happened to
the Cheese. I said I was sick of it being on the
blacktop, and I just decided to get rid of it once
and for all.
For a second there, everyone just froze. I
thought people were going to start thanking me
for what I did, but boy, was I wrong.
I really wish I had worded my story a little
differently. Because if I threw away the Cheese,
guess what that meant? It meant that I have
the Cheese Touch.
scream!
scream!
215
June
Friday
Well, if Rowley appreciated what I did for him
last week, he hasn’t said it. But we’ve started
hanging out after school again, so I guess that
means me and him are back to normal.
I can honestly say that so far, having the
Cheese Touch hasn’t been all that bad.
It got me out of doing the Square Dance unit
in Phys Ed, because no one would partner up
with me. And I’ve had the whole lunch table to
myself every day.
Today was the last day of school, and they
handed out yearbooks after eighth period.
diaper
rash
ahead!
bwaahahaha!
216
I flipped to the Class Favorites page, and
here’s the picture that was waiting for me.
All I can say is, if anyone wants a free yearbook,
they can dig one out of the trash can in the
back of the cafeteria.
You know, Rowley can have Class Clown for all I
care. But if he ever gets too big for his britches,
I’ll just remind him that he was the guy who ate
the _ _ _ _ _ _.
CLASS CLOWN
Rowley Jefferson
ZOO-
WEE
MAMA!
217
