by Linda Conrad
Sensuous, steamy satin.
Houston had to shove his hands into his back pockets to keep them off her. He knew now, for sure, what it felt like to bury himself in all that comforting warmth, to join with her—body, mind and soul. How the heck would he manage to look at Carley and not touch? To be with her and keep his distance?
When she bent over to pick up her clothes, Houston caught a glimpse of those impossibly long legs, ending at the round contours of her uncovered bottom. He swung around and headed for the horses so fast he nearly bumped into the willow. Hopefully, when she had her clothes on, it would be easier to stand his ground.
He fiddled with the basket and the horse blankets, trying to give her time. Houston needed to find something else to talk to her about. Something besides their old relationship.
He'd given it a lot of thought. Judging from his blurry dreams of the dark lady, he must have left Carley for another woman before he'd disappeared. No wonder she'd jumped into the arms of another man and made a baby.
Just the fleeting thought of another man taking her in his arms, holding her while she cried, watching her while she dressed, made him angry. Not at Carley—at himself for having been stupid enough to let her go.
Well, it wouldn't happen a second time. Now that he'd found her, he wasn't ever letting go again. He only had to be careful not to push her away.
"Thanks." Carley handed him his shirt. "I'm afraid it's wet enough to wring out."
"Don't worry about it." He shoved his arms in the sleeves and forced his eyes to focus on something else besides her. "It'll dry before we get back to the ranch. You ready to go?"
"Yes…"
He heard an expectant hesitation in her voice. Did she want him to say something about what they'd just done? Something about their sensational, mind-blowing afternoon of sex? Houston wasn't sure he could talk about it just yet. If he said anything now, he knew it would lead right back to where his body longed to be. And where he knew he couldn't go. Not today. Not until he'd won back her love.
"Look, Carley…" Houston turned to face her and found her struggling with the wrong foot in the stirrup. Of course. He'd never shown her how to mount a horse. Thank heaven that's all she needed from him.
Houston moved up behind her. "Wrong foot." He tapped the thigh of her other leg, then jerked his hand away. How could he get her on the horse without touching her?
He eased back a pace. "Face the horse. Put your left boot into that stirrup, then pull yourself up by holding on to the saddle horn." When she frowned, he stepped around to hold the horse's bridle. "I'll hold the mare steady. You can do it."
And she did. On the first try. Damn. She was spectacular.
They rode along the river in companionable silence, enjoying the hot afternoon sun as it slowly dried their hair and skin. Houston managed to get his body back into the state of half arousal he'd been living with since Carley first showed up.
Side by side. That's how he wanted the rest of their lives to be. Whatever he remembered, or didn't remember, Houston wanted the remainder of his time on earth to be spent taking care of Carley and Cami. He could foresee endless days of teaching Cami about ranch life—and endless nights of teaching her mother the joys of being well and truly loved.
Hell. He was thinking about her again. Houston had to shift in the saddle to rearrange his jeans and give himself time to cool off.
Carley must have sensed he was in discomfort, because she broke the silence that had grown around them. "I kind of expected you to ask me questions about your job with the Bureau. Aren't you curious about what you did?"
"Some," he mumbled. "It makes sense out of my dreams, though. When you said the word bureau, a picture of a badge with the words Federal Bureau of Investigation flashed in my mind. I'd seen it many times in my dreams, but figured it was in a whole other context."
He closed his eyes and smiled. "Putting pieces of memories together backward, I originally thought I'd been on the wrong side of seeing that badge."
Houston swiveled in the saddle to look at Carley's profile. "You, by any chance, know a guy who's big and broad, with a crooked nose and black, soulless eyes?"
Carley threw her head back and laughed. "Sure do. He's our boss, Reid Sorrels. He was the quarterback on his college team. The nose was broken years ago, but he won't talk about it. And the eyes are sharp and black, but soulless? No, he's tough, but the man has a heart under all the gruff."
"Yeah, he sounds like a real pussycat, all right. He's been a big star in some of my nightmares."
Carley leaned across the few feet separating their homes and laid a gentle hand on his arm. "Reid has been a good friend. He stepped in when you disappeared and helped me through some bad times. He's always been a fair boss, but I know he won't rest until we figure out what happened."
"Believe me, I'd like that, too." Houston rubbed at his temples, feeling the searing pain once more. He'd begun to hope he'd felt the last of that particular ache. Guess not. Maybe it wouldn't go away for good until he had all his answers.
* * *
"Do you need immediate assistance, Special Agent Mills?" Reid Sorrels's secretary had answered his private line. Carley knew that meant her boss was in the field.
"No. Can you tell me where Reid can be reached?"
"Sorry, no. He said he would be on the move for a couple of days. I understand that one of the baby couriers we have in custody gave him a lead to one of the main kidnappers. Someone on our side of the border, near your vicinity, I believe. You can try Reid's pager if you like, but he might not be able to get back to you right away."
Carley thanked the woman for her help and clicked off her field-issue, digital phone. She puffed out her cheeks in frustration. Her boss had already moved against his target. That meant many differing things to Carley, and she tried to sort through them.
First off, she only had a couple more days to figure out what she wanted to do about Houston Smith. With no background to rely on, he'd made himself a new set of rules to live by, and they'd caused him to make some faulty assumptions about her and Cami. Now Carley had to decide when and how to tell him the truth. If she did, it would have to be soon. The longer she let him go on thinking she'd had a rebound love affair that had led to Cami's birth, the worse it would be when he found out that he was the little girl's father.
On the other hand, finding out he used to be the type of man who treated sex as casually and offhandedly as Witt Davidson did might seriously jeopardize his new image of himself, leading to possible mental instability. Carley didn't want to be the cause of some personality disorder for the man she was learning to love all over again.
And that was the second problem she faced. Carley knew Reid would insist she rejoin the operation as soon as this latest sting was over, and that looked as though it was only a few days away. What would happen to Houston then? Reid would never allow him to simply go on as before here at the ranch.
Without his memory, Houston was too vulnerable and unprotected. Someone had thought they'd left a dead man by the side of the road eighteen months ago. What might happen if they discovered he was alive and could potentially recognize them?
Carley shivered at the thought of some unknown menace stalking an unsuspecting man. No, Reid would never allow that to happen, and the Bureau couldn't afford to permanently place a guard on a man who only thought of himself as a simple cowboy. What would become of him?
Carley decided she just couldn't bear to face the ramifications of what that might mean right now. She wanted to put the whole problem out of her mind. Shivering still, she vowed only to think of Reid's words and be Houston's protector while she could.
Carley's most immediate problem was her own attitude toward Houston. She'd made the decision to let him continue with his attempt at a new relationship on the ride back to the ranch this afternoon. That was one way for her to act as his protector for the few days they had left. It was also a way to give her a little breathing room to sort out her own emotions.
Did she really love Houston Smith as much as she thought she did? And, if she did, what had happened to her love for Witt Davidson? Could she put her old love from her mind and act as if he was gone for good? Everything about the situation was muddled in her brain. Maybe a couple of casual dates with Houston would help put her feelings into perspective.
A sharp chill shot up her spine with no warning. The secretary's words came into clear focus. Reid and the operation were nearby on the border. The shadowy figures threatening Houston might be close.
Carley stepped into her closet and dragged out her locked case. Tomorrow night Casa de Valle would be celebrating one of its teenagers' graduation from high school by having a barbecue. Houston had asked her to be his date for later that night when they chaperoned the kids at a dance in town.
She unlocked her case and pulled out her unloaded Glock, waistband bolster and ammunition. If she was going to act as Houston's date—and bodyguard—she needed to be ready. Nothing would happen to the man this time. Not on her watch.
* * *
Chapter 10
« ^ »
When Carley awoke from a troubled sleep, she found the morning sun refusing to shine, deferring instead to gloomy drops of rain on her windowpane. She knew Houston and the others had been praying for rain to come across the Mexican mountains and open up on the parched delta of the Rio Grande—but on the same day as the big party?
A light tickle of apprehension rode up her spine, but she refused to give it any credence. She was being silly.
As her day progressed, or in reality fell apart, that puzzling sensation she'd felt earlier turned into a downright chill. She'd hoped to see Houston at breakfast. Maybe with the rain, she'd be able to spend more of the day close to him. Protecting him. But as the staff trickled away from the table and headed toward their respective jobs, Carley grew impatient and dejected because he was nowhere to be found.
She and Gabe were the last ones at the table. Gabe eased his chair back and prepared to leave.
"Gabe, wait a second." Carley stood and moved beside him. "Do you know why Houston didn't come to breakfast this morning?"
He smiled at her. "You two getting along okay?"
"Yes, just fine. But I need to know where he is right now."
Gabe took off his glasses and stared through the lens. "The rain turned into a downpour about four in the morning, and we were worried that the hard ground wouldn't be able to take this much water all at once." He picked up a napkin and began cleaning one lens. "He and a couple of the boys went off to round up the stock. Some of the pastures have gullies and arroyos that'll flash flood without warning."
"Oh? Is he in any danger? Are we?" She wanted Gabe to quit taking his time and get to the point.
"Houston knows how to take care of himself. He'll be fine." He pushed his glasses back on his face and went to the window. "This place is high and dry. It's built to last. Besides, looks like our mixed blessing has about stopped for the day."
Carley joined him at the window and looked out as hazy sunshine filtered down through a fine mist. "Will we still have the barbecue tonight?"
Gabe turned to leave, but answered her over his shoulder. "Might be a tad muddy, but we won't let a little water stop us. You learn to be hardy when you live on the border. Some of our ancestors rode with Santa Anna and Poncho Villa. They left us with good constitutions and wills of iron. You'll get used to it in time."
Carley knew she didn't have much time, and it made the nervous butterflies she had in her stomach all the more active. She left the kitchen and went to the phone in her office. Today was the day of her dreaded luncheon with the bureaucratic and uncooperative Ms. Fabrizio. No way could Carley keep that date, with her stomach in knots and her sense of danger increasing by the minute.
"…so I'm afraid, with the big party tonight and all the rain today, I won't be able to make our lunch." Carley swallowed back her tension, trying not to let it show in her voice. "Can we make it another day?"
Ms. Fabrizio chuckled lightly into the phone. "No problem. Maybe I'll make an exception in your case and conduct the ranch's inspection next week myself. I haven't seen the home in a couple of years. It might be very … interesting."
What an odd character, Carley muttered as she hung up the phone. Ms. Fabrizio was just too slick, and way too hot and cold. Carley decided she'd better have Reid check into the woman's background the minute she returned to the Bureau.
Meanwhile Houston never showed up for lunch, adding to Carley's growing unease. Her sense of imminent catastrophe put everything around her in sharp and glaring focus. But she couldn't put her finger on any one thing that seemed wrong or out of place.
By midafternoon, Carley was nearly climbing out of her skin. What the heck could be so wrong, she wondered?
Doc Luisa poked her head into Carley's office. "What're you doing stuck in here on a great day like today? The sun is shining and most of the mud is gone. Why don't you come on out and see how a real Tex-Mex barbecue is handled?"
Carley couldn't be happier to finally move. Her whole body ached from the tension of holding herself still. The two women stopped to pick up Cami from the day room. Rosie and another girl would have to miss the late-afternoon activities while they took care of their charges. Carley promised to bring them a plate of food later.
With Cami in tow, Carley and Doc headed out through the dirt yard. The ground, still hard and packed solid, held only a few puddles on the edges of the yard. Not much of a reminder of last night's downpour. The three of them slowly strolled into the 4-H barn and took their time passing by the animal pens.
"You tell Houston about Cami yet?" the older woman asked.
Carley shook her head. "There's some … complications."
Doc shook her own head in response. "Lately I've thought he was near a breakthrough in his memory. I was so hoping that you could—" She shrugged her shoulder. "Must be frustrating for all of you."
Carley didn't have time to answer as they stepped from the far side of the barn into the bright sunlight. Once her eyes adjusted, she spotted the grassy area around a pond where several of the men were busy setting things up.
And Houston Smith stood in the middle of the action. Thank God.
At about the same time Carley saw him, Cami pulled from Carley's grasp and took off as fast as her little legs could pump. Carley's heart began to race and she flew after her daughter. There were too many hazards out here for Cami to just run free.
* * *
Houston busied himself setting up one of the steel-drum barbecue pits. Earlier, the boys had rolled five of the unwieldy things out of the storage shed and onto the grass beyond the stock pond. As he worked, he luxuriated in the hot, dry sunshine hitting his back.
After the messy, wet morning, the day had turned clear and bright. The rainy low-pressure front pulled air with crackling, low humidity in behind it. The unusual weather wouldn't last long, he knew, but damned if it wasn't wonderful while it lasted.
The smell of wet, newly mowed grass clung in the air. The whole world seemed fresh and new—just as he wanted.
His mood reflected the current state of his life. Carley. Whenever he thought of her and the chance to win her love, he grew buoyantly expectant. Whatever dark shadows remained in his past could just stay buried in his unconscious. From now on he'd banish his old nightmares and find new dreams. Dreams of a good life with Carley.
Houston wondered if they would end up living on the ranch. Would Carley be able to give up her life as an FBI agent and be content to stay here, raising cattle and children? She was such an earth mother, the nurturer of all living things. Couldn't she leave the criminals of the world behind and stay in the safe cocoon of the ranch with people who loved her?
He blew out a breath and finished loading mesquite into the drum. No matter where they lived or what either of them did for a living, he knew if they were together, the sun would keep shining.
From somewhere behind him, Houston he
ard a high-pitched shriek. Cami. The other lady love of his new life. He'd know that scream anywhere.
He turned just in time to catch a glimpse of the tiny, blond head bobbing in his direction.
"Eieeee … Da … Da…"
Houston bent, scooping up the little devil, while she beamed at him. "Hey, little girl. Were you corning to see me?" He held her against his chest and breathed in the sweet smell that was all baby.
Cami held her arms straight up and bounced in his embrace. "Me … up."
"Up?" Houston studied the sweaty sweetheart in toddler-size jeans and flannel shirt. "You are up."
"More!" Cami bounced so hard he had to tighten his grip.
He turned to search for Carley. It didn't take him long to find her, striding toward them across the weedy patch of grass. She arrived breathing hard, her face flush with heat and her hair in a massive, rusty cloud swirling around that gorgeous face. "Thanks for catching Cami. I just passed my annual physical, but I guess I'm not in good enough shape to catch a one-year-old who sees something she wants."
Houston laughed. These two females were suddenly the lifeblood of his bright, new world. "I believe she started out wanting me, but now she's asking for something I don't understand." He held Cami away from his chest.
"Up!" she squealed again, and gave him her best impression of her mother's coquettish smile.
"See?" Houston turned to Carley. "What does that mean?"
It was Carley's turn to laugh. "Why, that rascal." She rested her hands on her hips and shook her head. "My grandfather throws Cami in the air every time he picks her up, even though he's past eighty and should know better. She loves it, giggles and shrieks till the rest of us want to cover our ears."
Carley held out her arms, trying to entice her daughter to leave Houston's embrace. "No, Cami. This isn't Paw-Paw. No flying today."
"Flying? Oh, I get it. Like this?" Houston adjusted his grip under her arms and lifted Cami higher. She giggled and her eyes widened. To gain a little momentum, he swung her downward in a swift movement and then threw her up over his head.
