“Until he lets up and stops jumping every time I do something that anyone else in the world would do.”
“You have to admit though, dropping things is something new for you.”
I grinned, leaning forward slightly. “I dropped it on purpose.”
She gasped and leaned back in her chair. “That’s so mean. Why would you do that?”
“Because I needed to know how he would react. I need him to get back to the point where he’s not babying me.”
“Do you really think that will happen?”
“Before this baby comes? Probably not, but I need things to go back to normal, and he needs to stop thinking I’m going to drop dead every time he hears a noise. Seriously, do you know how embarrassing it was to show up at the hospital when nothing was wrong?”
She bit her lip, nodding slightly. “I can imagine.”
“So, that’s it. I just need to get it through his head and then we can move on with our lives.”
“And the whole license thing?”
I bristled at the mention of it. “Okay, I understand why they don’t want me to drive. I’m not a complete idiot, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t chap my ass to be treated like an unruly teenager that broke the law. I get that I could hurt people if I have another seizure. I’m just pissed that decisions are made for me without my consent.”
“Well, I can certainly understand that. My whole life was like that.” She smiled brightly again. “But we’re not going to think about that this morning. We’re going to get you dressed and go get some food, because I’m starving.”
“You know, if I didn’t like you, I might take out my gun and shoot you just to shut you up.”
She laughed like what I just said was hysterical. “See? That’s the spirit. Now go get dressed.”
Grumbling, I went upstairs and pulled on a dress, not wanting to wear anything too constricting right now. Thank God it was summer or I would be screwed. When I came back downstairs, Sofia was playing with Alessa while Amelia rolled on the floor.
“Oh my gosh! Did she just start rolling over?”
“Yeah, just yesterday.”
“Why aren’t you taking pictures and videos and posting them all over Facebook?”
“Well, first, I stay off Facebook because I don’t want my parents spying on me. I don’t even have an account. Second, I took plenty of pictures and videos last night, and then again this morning. I’m pretty sure my phone is about to run out of storage,” she laughed.
“Well, I would post for you, but I don’t have an account either. Same reasons, except not my family, but the rest of the mafia world that would love to see me dead.”
“Should we go?” She stood up and her stomach grumbled. “God, I’m starving.”
“Are you sure you’re not pregnant.”
“Yeah right. I would kill Joe.”
We grabbed our stuff and headed out, each of us pushing our strollers. The one nice thing that came out of this seizure was that I got a chance to relax. I would never tell Josh that. He would assume I couldn’t handle anything anymore. But the break was nice. Working at Josh’s shop was a full-time job. I basically worked for free, because we wanted to give the shop time to earn money.
Luckily, Antonio came to me a while back and shared what he considered to be my half of what would have been his inheritance. It was a shitload of money, but we could never deposit any of it in the bank. I had no idea if any of it was clean. And on top of that, Josh would never accept it, but I knew there might be a time it would come in handy. I used it here and there for spending money, and as long as I didn’t spend a lot, Josh would never realize he wasn’t paying for it.
As if reading my thoughts, Sofia asked, “Do you miss working?”
“Sort of. I’m not going to lie, the break is great.”
“Do you feel more relaxed?”
“Yes, but if you say a word to Josh, I’ll make your life a living hell.”
She held up her hand. “I’m not going to say anything. Why do you always resort to violence?”
A woman I didn’t know was about to pass me on the sidewalk when she reached out and grabbed my arm. “Are you about to have a seizure?”
I frowned, yanking my arm away. “No, but if you ever grab me like that again, I’ll make sure you have one.”
She went pale and scurried off. I glanced around, noticing a few people were watching. Great, now I had an audience. But as I looked closer, I noticed that people were staring at me more like they were expecting something to happen.
“What was that about?”
Sofia shrugged. “I miss working with Joe.”
Ignoring the fact that she just blew past my question, I decided it didn’t really matter. “Really?”
Well, shit. Now I felt bad that I dragged her away.
“I just got used to spending time with him. It was nice to know that he was there, you know?”
“No,” I said, staring at her in confusion. “Why would you want to be so close to him all the time?”
“Because…he’s the only one that’s ever been there for me. I like being close to him. I like knowing that if anything happens, he’s there to protect me.”
“Aww,” I laughed. “You’re like the princess that got rescued by her knight and shining armor.”
“And you aren’t?”
I snorted. “Are you kidding me? If anything, I rescued Josh. You know, when we first went on the run, he actually paid for supplies with a credit card. I couldn’t believe it.”
“Why is that bad?”
“Because credit card purchases can be tracked. Seriously, I should have held a class, Running 101.”
“Well, I almost needed a class. Seriously, without everyone helping me, I would have crawled home to my parents and then where would I be?”
Chili Man ran up to me, a frantic look on his face. “Are you okay? Are you about to have a seizure?”
“What?” I looked at Sofia and waved my arm out in front of me. She frowned for a moment, then understanding lit her face as she remembered our agreement about her fighting my battles.
“Oh, right.” She stepped forward and cleared her throat. “Carly is a person. She doesn’t need you interfering in her life or her decisions.” She looked to me and I nodded, urging her to say more. “Um…How dare you ask her if she’s about to have a seizure!”
He looked between me and Sophia and then back to me. “Um…Am I not supposed to?”
“No,” I snapped. “Would you run up to a person with cancer and ask if they were about to die?”
He looked at me funny. “Of course not.”
“Then why would you ask me that?”
He looked at Sofia again, who quickly looked away.
“Okay, what’s going on?”
Chili Man ran off, leaving me alone with Sofia.
“Sofia, tell me what’s going on right now.”
“Look! The bakery!”
She ran ahead, pushing the stroller at a fast clip. Hell, I couldn’t keep up with her at this stage of my pregnancy, and that really pissed me off, because I was always in top shape.
“Hey, you get back here, bitch!” I pushed my stroller as fast as I could waddle, catching the door to the bakery just as it was about to close. I could see Sofia talking with some people, whispering as she looked up and caught my eye. Her eyes widened and she quickly pulled back from the woman she was talking to, probably in the hopes that she wouldn’t get caught.
“What are you telling her?” I snapped.
“What? I didn’t…I was just saying that she has nice hair.”
“No she doesn’t,” I snapped. “Sorry,” I said to the woman, “but your hair looks terrible. Ever heard of conditioner?”
The woman gasped, standing up suddenly. “Are you about to have a seizure?” she asked snidely.
I narrowed my eyes on her. “Why do you ask?”
“Don’t,” Sofia warned.
“Because Corduroy said in a video that we should ask you.”
“Oh, he did, did he?”
“Yes, that’s why I said it,” she sniped.
Spinning around, I clapped my hands to get everyone’s attention.
“Are you having a seizure?” one of them shouted.
I gritted my teeth and took a deep breath. “Let’s get one thing clear. I’m not about to have a seizure, and even if I were about to, I wouldn’t know it. It’s not like I can predict them. But you don’t need to ask me, and frankly, the next person that says anything is going to be staring down the barrel of my gun. Got it?”
“She’s hangry,” Sofia said quietly, pressing her hands on my shoulders. “Ignore her.”
“Oh, is that the way it’s going to be? Carly must be hangry because a bunch of people keep asking her personal questions about her health,” I said, waving my arms around wildly. “There goes Crazy Carly, off to yell at some more people because she’s hangry! It couldn’t be that she’s just truly pissed that people are invading her privacy! Nooo, she’s just Crazy Carly.”
My arms were waving around and my face was beat red. I knew I looked like a lunatic. I wanted to stop it, but I couldn’t. Something snapped inside me and now I was losing it in the bakery in front of all these people. In front of my daughter. Hell, this wasn’t good.
I turned to find Mary Anne staring at me with a grin on her face. “What are you staring at?”
“I’m just enjoying the show.”
“Is that all this is to you? The whole town is just one big show for you?”
“Yep,” she grinned. “And your family brings in a lot of money. Oh, it’s not that I don’t sympathize, dear. It must be terrible to have everyone asking if you had a seizure. But your loss is my gain. Scone?”
She held out a plate to me, and dammit, I wanted the tasty goodness of her food, so with a scowl on my face, I took the damn scone and bit into it. I moaned as the flavor came alive on my tongue. Damn, that was good.
“See?” Sofia said cheerily. “Hangry.”
“Shut it,” I grumbled, turning to find a seat. I sat down just as Mary Anne brought me a coffee and an additional scone. The door opened and Corduroy walked in, a grin on his face as he strolled over.
“Carly, are you about to have a seizure?”
Brushing off my hands, I stood and smiled at the deputy-sheriff. He never even saw my right hook coming.
I sat in the jail cell smirking as I crossed one leg over the other and let my foot bounce in the air, the whole time watching Corduroy. He had a nice bruise blooming on his jawline, but the returning smirk on his face told me this was all a game to him.
“I can’t believe you got us thrown in jail,” Sofia grumbled. “Our kids are jailbirds!”
I tilted my head to look at Amelia, who looked perfectly content. “The kids are fine.”
“Sure,” Sofia snorted. “This is just a day in the life for you. Teach them early and all that.”
“You know, I’m not actually a criminal.”
“That’s what a criminal would say. You know, just once I’d like to go out with you and not end up in jail.”
“Maybe you should find better friends.”
“I would, but you threatened me. What the hell am I supposed to do against a pregnant woman? It’s not like I can smother you with a shirt.”
I smiled, remembering our first trip to the thrift store fondly. “Admit it, you felt alive.”
“Right,” she laughed. “Just like I felt alive in the grocery store. You just bring out the best in me.”
“Well, you have to have goals in life.”
“Seeing how many times I can get thrown in jail is not a life goal.”
I shrugged. “It doesn’t seem like a bad goal to me. Besides, the way Corduroy and Jack arrest all of us, we should really be keeping a running tally.”
“Five times,” Corduroy grinned. “You’re losing by a long shot.”
“Well, I’ll just have to up my game.”
He stood and walked over to the jail cell, his thumbs resting in the loops of his uniform. “I would love to see how many times I could get you locked up. That sounds like it should be a personal goal of mine.”
“Why?” Sofia practically screeched. “What has she ever done to you?”
“Not a damn thing, but Jack…he seems to enjoy locking all of you up. I think he secretly gets off on it.”
“What are you talking about? That’s not a secret.”
He smiled broadly at me. “Now, what if I were to tell you that it was a stress reliever for him. Would you believe me?”
“I would believe you. In fact, I can see him waking up every morning and thinking, I’m super stressed today. How can I relieve some of that tension? I know, I’ll arrest someone in the Cortell family.”
“Exactly, except for the super stressed part. Jack would never say super.”
“Pardon me,” I said snottily.
“It’s okay,” Corduroy waved me off. “You don’t know him as well as I do. But you’ll learn. Just watch, in about thirty-seconds, he’s going to walk through the front door and yell at me for locking you up.”
“How do you know that?”
He rolled his eyes playfully at me. “If I told you that, it wouldn’t be any fun.”
The front door slammed open and Jack stomped inside, stopping when he saw Sofia and me locked up with our kids.
“What the hell is this?”
“She punched me in the face,” Corduroy said, pointing to his bruised face.
“You punched him?” Jack said incredulously.
“He deserved it. Besides, pregnant, not crippled,” I grinned.
“Christ, Carter. We’re supposed to be keeping her stress-free, not driving her stress through the roof. What the fuck are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking the woman needs to let off a little steam after the way everyone’s been treating her like an infant.”
Slapping my hands on the bench, I stood up and stomped toward him. “You told everyone to ask me if I was about to have a seizure on purpose?”
He frowned, looking down at the ground for a moment. “Well, I can’t imagine a reason I would tell people to ask you on accident.”
“You wanted me to get pissed.”
“Well, duh,” he laughed. “With everyone around here treating you like a china doll, I kind of figured it would only take so much to push you over the edge.”
“Are you trying to kill her?” Jack hissed.
“No, I’m trying to help her let loose. The woman is being watched like a hawk. She needed the release. Look, I even lent her my jaw,” he pointed to the bruise.
“How magnanimous of you,” Jack said woodenly. “This was not the plan. When Josh gets here—”
The door slammed open a second time and Josh’s voice roared through the entryway. “Where the fuck is my wife?”
“Here,” I yelled out cheerily. This was so good. I hadn’t had this much fun in ages.
Josh came storming around the corner, his face filled with fury. It was such a turn-on. If only he would have wild monkey sex with me right now. That would make the day so much better. But knowing Josh in his crazed state, he would be more concerned over my health. Sighing, I leaned against the bars and watched the scene unfold.
“What the hell were you thinking? She’s supposed to be taking it easy and you locked her up?”
“That was like a day after the seizure. The doctor said to live my life,” I corrected.
“And you worked her up. Christ, are you trying to kill me too?”
“One, I’m not trying to kill her,” Corduroy corrected. “And B, you’re being too smothery.”
“Smothery? When the woman you love could drop dead at any second, you can tell me I’m being too smothery.”
“She’s not about to drop dead,” Corduroy said emphatically. “She had one seizure. One, and you’re all acting like it’s a death sentence. They already took away her license. What more do you want to take from her?”
“Nothi
ng,” Josh hissed. “I want to keep her alive for many years.”
He snorted. “Yeah, she’ll stay alive, but you’ll be good and dead. A woman like Carly can’t be caged. Trust me, I’d know.”
He turned and winked at me, and just to piss off Josh, I winked back.
Josh fumed, grabbing Corduroy by the shirt. “Don’t wink at my wife.”
“Relax, man. It’s not like I checked her out.”
And then he blatantly turned his gaze on me and checked me out. Josh, in all his rage and glory, yanked Corduroy toward him and tossed him across the room.
Jack rolled his eyes and sighed. “I should have just stayed home this morning.”
“But then you would have missed all the fun,” I grinned as Corduroy went flying again.
He laughed loudly after crashing into a chair. “Is that all you got? I thought you were supposed to be the badass in the family. Hell, even Andrew scares me more than you.”
“Are you doing okay?” Jack asked as Corduroy continued to taunt Josh, and Josh continued to kick his ass.
“I’m fine. Although, I could really go for an ice cream right now.”
He frowned slightly. “I suppose I could take you. On the other hand, I might be putting my life at risk if I took you out of here.”
“Mommy,” Alessa came running up, “You say ice cweam?”
“Yes, baby. Let’s go get ice cream while Daddy kicks Corduroy’s ass.”
Her eyes lit up as Jack unlocked the cell door. She rushed out and right into Jack’s arms. It seemed that in the two times Jack took care of her while I was rushed to the hospital, he’d bonded with my little girl.
“I just fucking asked for you to keep her safe!” Josh roared. “That’s what that meeting was all about.”
I paused and turned to Josh. “You had a meeting about me?”
“Yeah, tell her all about that meeting,” Corduroy smirked.
“Hey, you were there too,” Josh snapped.
“You were there too,” Corduroy mocked.
“Don’t repeat me.”
“Oh, that’s a great argument,” Corduroy snorted. “Tell her about your plan to have her followed.”
“I knew it!” I said accusingly. “Didn’t I tell you, Sofia?”
Sofia sighed, pushing the stroller out of the cell. I knew he would do this. I just didn’t realize he would involve the Corduroy and Jack.
Drawing Dead: A Small Town Romance (A Good Run Of Bad Luck) Page 12
