He gripped my hips, ground into me one last time, then pulled out, groaning deeply as he did. He’d carried me to the side of the barn, where the roof tilted downward. Eli stood me in front of him, gripped the bottom of my tank, and pulled it over my head.
His jeans were still undone, cock enormous and slick with my arousal, so hard and thick. My mouth went dry. I wanted to drop to my knees, take that beautiful dick into my mouth…
“I want to tie you up, Abi. I want you to hand every bit of control to me. Everything.”
I swallowed hard, the sound audible.
“Does that scare you?” he choked out. “Are you afraid?”
I shook my head. It didn’t scare me. It turned me the hell on. “No. I trust you.”
His big body jolted like he still couldn’t believe it, like he still expected me to run scared, to turn on him like everybody else. “Hands,” he finally said.
I held them out, and he wrapped my tank around my wrists. Then, grabbing one of the lead ropes from the wall beside us, he tied it around the shirt, using it to protect my wrists. Then lifting my hands, he tied the remaining length over a low beam, so they were suspended above my head.
I couldn’t move, and I was naked apart from my bra.
His fierce stare raked over me, body heaving, veins bulging under his tan skin. There was so much behind his brown eyes, I had no hope of deciphering what he was thinking, feeling.
“Spread your legs nice and wide for me.” I did as he said and he reached down, wrapped his fingers around his cock, and squeezed. “So beautiful. My beautiful angel,” he rasped.
I whimpered, heart pounding at his words, the guttural way he’d said them. I was ready for him again, excited and nervous. He trailed his gaze over my body, and I knew, could see it in his eyes, that he was feeling the same thing I was—afraid that what we had could slip away. Elijah felt the control he held on to crumbling. The world as he knew it was shaking beneath his feet, and he was taking back control the only way he knew how.
With me.
Was he aware that was what he was doing?
He was breathing heavily as he came closer, cock painfully hard, balls drawn up tight. He had all his attention focused on me. He’d stopped stroking himself and then reached down and tucked his cock in his jeans, doing them up. The lines etched into his face told me it caused him physical pain.
What was he doing?
He closed the gap between us and slowly walked around me, dark eyes moving over me as he did, soft touches brushing my skin, tender kisses to my breasts, my hip, the center of my back. He stopped behind me and brushed my hair over my shoulder, kissing the nape of my neck. “How did I get so lucky?” He kissed me there again. “How could you let me touch you?” His hands came around me and cupped my breasts, squeezing gently. “Let me put my big, rough, dirty hands on your pretty, smooth skin, this sweet little body?” He nuzzled the space between my neck and shoulder. “How did I ever deserve that?”
He shook his head.
“Elijah…”
One of his hands smoothed down my belly, sliding between my slick folds. “I don’t, angel. I never did.”
I wanted to pull him into my arms and comfort him, show him he was wrong. But he wasn’t going to listen to me right then. As far as he was concerned, he wasn’t good enough, and nothing I could say would change his mind. He’d made it impossible for me to try, impossible for me to reach for him, comfort him, pleasure him.
He’d let me orgasm a little while ago, but he’d held off.
He’d said I wasn’t being punished…
And I realized in that moment—he was punishing himself.
His fingers were relentless. I gasped and moaned, head swimming, caught between the pleasure he was giving me and my need to reassure him. “You do…I…”
“Shhh,” he said and circled my clit, making me jerk in his arms.
I love you.
The words were right there, a second from exploding from my lips. I did, I loved him with everything in me, but he wasn’t ready to hear it. I doubted he’d believe me if I told him. Not after what happened today. Somehow I’d let him in. He’d found a way past my fears and the pain of losing both my parents and filled that empty place in my heart.
He released a ragged breath and moved around me, so he was in front of me again.
“I’d never kissed a woman before you.” His hand went back between my legs, and he pushed a finger inside. I cried out, arching, the ropes pulling against my wrists. “You’re the only woman I ever wanted to kiss, the only woman I ever wanted.”
I whimpered. “I need to touch you, Elijah.”
He ignored me like I hadn’t even said a thing and dropped his head to my shoulder, breathing in deep. “Did you ever see me like them, darlin’? A monster…a charity case?”
“No. Never.”
He lifted his head. “Jesus, Abigail, I was afraid to let myself believe it…but I’m starting to. You see me differently, don’t you? You really do care?”
“Yes…”
He cursed, thrust his fingers in my hair, and brought his mouth down on mine, cutting me off. He slanted his head, tongue licking deep, kissing me in a way that had my head spinning. He moaned against my lips as he finger-fucked me. Just that one finger. Making me desperate for more, keeping me teetering on the edge.
“You can’t hide the way you feel about me, can you? You love the way my mouth feels on yours.”
“Yes, I love it.”
“You get wetter when I kiss you, touch you.”
He made an anguished sound that sent a shiver down my spine. The way he was looking at me, eyes blazing, teeth gritted, that pain back in his eyes, it was like he’d only just now allowed himself to believe it, believed that I wanted him as much as he did me. After everything we’d done and said, how could he have doubted it?
He shuddered and dropped to his knees in front of me. “I need to taste you, feel you quivering against my tongue, angel. Lift your foot.”
I didn’t have a chance to do as he asked because he did it for me, lifting my leg so it rested over his shoulder. I was exposed, wide open. He leaned in, hands on my ass, and buried his face between my thighs before I had a chance to say a thing. His mouth opened over me, licking and sucking my slick, sensitive flesh, then he plunged his tongue inside me. I cried out, fully handing over control, like he wanted me to—like I wanted, too.
He growled, fingers flexing against my ass as heavy-lidded brown eyes lifted to mine, locking on while he fucked me with his tongue. I bucked, my skin flushing hotter. A cry burst past my lips, and I wrapped my hands around the rope above, desperate for something to hang on to. I was completely at his mercy.
He needed this from me, and I didn’t want it any other way.
My orgasm began to build, but I wanted it with him inside me, I wanted him to come with me. I moaned, whimpered. “Don’t make me come, not without you.”
His eyes flashed with determination. “Don’t worry, you will, darlin’.” Then he shifted his mouth to my clit and slipped that finger back inside me and I flew. He didn’t let up until I stopped bucking against him.
Finally, he stood.
I watched him from beneath hooded lids. His body seemed bigger somehow, his chest massive, thighs rock solid. His skin was flushed, muscles bulging. He licked his lips and shoved my bra up, exposing my breasts, then he leaned in and sucked one of my nipples deep.
I thrashed against my restraint, positive I was losing my mind. I’d never experienced anything like this. It was intense. I was desperate for more and not sure I could take another second all at the same time.
I needed him. I needed him inside me. Now. “Fuck me. Fuck me, Elijah. Please.”
He made a tortured sound and released my nipple. His expression was pained, and he reached down, hissing as he gripped his cock through the denim and squeezed hard. He shook his head. “Not yet.”
His fingers went back between my legs, and I groaned helplessly. I was tremb
ling and sweating now, and just those light brushes over my clit already had me close to coming again. I was dying. I was going to die from lust. I started spasming deep inside. “I can’t do it, not again…”
Eli leaned in, sucking my nipple, leaving it nice and wet, then pulled away and slapped it. I wasn’t expecting it, and I screamed, slamming my legs together. He gripped my thighs and forced them apart. He hadn’t hit me hard enough to hurt, but enough that my nipple throbbed deliciously.
I struggled to breathe. It was like the hard little bud had a direct line to my sex. “Oh God.”
He did it again, sucked then slapped, but this time he leaned in and sucked it again after, easing and intensifying the ache at the same time. I tried to slam my thighs shut once more, but this time he was ready and shoved one solid thigh between mine, holding me open.
He repeated the same thing several times, until I was trembling so hard my teeth rattled and my inner thighs were slick. And just when I didn’t think I could take another second, Eli touched my clit and I screamed, coming so hard I was seeing stars.
He wrapped his arms around me, holding me through it. Heat washed over me, and I clamped my eyes shut, body convulsing with the pulses deep inside me. Before I was done, I was lifted, hoisted up. My bound hands went over his head, resting behind his neck, my legs wrapping around his waist…
He tore at the front of his jeans, then his cock rammed into me, his mouth coming down on mine. His hands gripped my ass, and he brought me down on his cock over and over again. I clung to him for all I was worth as he fucked me hard and fast in the middle of the barn.
His cock was huge and so hot inside me, then it pulsed and he roared, pumping me full of him. It was too much for my oversensitive flesh, and I bit down on his shoulder as my inner muscles clenched around him, another orgasm flying through me, forcing a broken sob past my lips.
Eli’s panted breaths were still brushing my neck as he lifted one hand and undid my restraint. I moaned as blood rushed back to my arms and hands.
He held me close and started walking. I couldn’t open my eyes, but I knew he was taking me up to his room.
He laid me down on his bed as soon as we walked in. His hands were gentle, caressing me, stroking me tenderly as he removed my bra, then lay down beside me. The covers came up a second later, and I was instantly wrapped in his arms.
“Rest, angel,” he rasped.
“Love you,” I mumbled, then passed out.
Chapter Thirteen
I woke to the sound of birds singing, the sun warming my skin, and Elijah’s addictive scent surrounding me. Opening my eyes, I twisted to look at the man lying beside me. He wasn’t there, though, he was sitting against the headboard, eyes open, one hand behind his head, the other resting on his abs. The sheet was low, draped across his hips, and he was staring up at the ceiling. I reached out, placing my hand on his stomach, running my fingers over the deep ridges, toying with the dark line of hair that disappeared below the sheet.
He tilted his head toward me, hand dropping to mine, stopping my searching fingers from dipping lower.
“Morning,” I whispered. His cock was getting harder. I could see it growing with every touch of my fingers.
“Morning,” he said softly.
There was something in his voice, in the way he was looking at me, that made me pause. “Did you sleep okay?”
He shook his head.
I climbed to my knees and went to him; his arms dropped away, letting me straddle his hips. “Do you want to talk about it?” If only he’d open up to me, I could work at putting his mind to rest.
His cock was rock hard now. He shook his head again, and my heart sank.
I knew he was bothered by what had happened the day before. I was, too, but it was my life. The people in town didn’t get a say in who I had a relationship with. It wasn’t up for debate. I just hoped like hell they got bored with us sooner rather than later and moved on to interfering in someone else’s life.
Despite the sizable erection poking me in the backside, his lips were held in a grim line. I wanted one of his subtle smiles; better yet, I wanted to hear his heart-stopping laugh. I wasn’t going to get that out of him this morning, though. Which meant I had to improve his mood another way.
I lifted up a little and dragged the sheet out of the way. He groaned when my bare sex made contact with his cock. I rubbed up against him, wrapping my arms around his neck, and pressed my lips to his, sucking and licking his gorgeous mouth, working myself up on the fat underside of his dick trapped between us. One of his hands was on my ass, the other sliding up my back to tangle in my hair.
“Let me make you feel good,” I said against his lips. I ground down harder, and his mouth opened on a gasp. I took advantage and dragged my tongue over his, tangling and tasting. God, I couldn’t get enough of him.
His hand tightened on my butt. “You gonna fuck me, angel?”
“Yes.”
He watched me through half-lidded eyes, hand still on my ass, massaging, inviting me to do whatever I wanted, to take what I needed. His cock stood up between us, thick and veined and so damn hard. I reached down, fisted him, lifted up, and sank down, taking him all the way.
“Oh God.” I didn’t know if I’d ever get used to his size. “So good.”
“My beautiful girl’s always so wet for me.” He wrapped his arms around me, his hold light, giving me the freedom to move how I liked but in a way he’d feel every arch of my spine, every twitch, every roll of my body.
I threaded my fingers in his hair and began to move. “Because I always want you.”
His hand tightened in my hair, and he pulled me down, kissing me hard and deep, groaning into my mouth as I fucked down onto him. His hand gripped my butt harder, then he was lifting me, bringing me back down, the pace slow and steady. I could feel all of him, the way he filled me on the way in, dragging out, making me desperate to have him inside me again instantly. “You’re so big.” I moaned. “Christ, Eli, you go so deep.”
He kept on kissing me, tilting his head, fucking my mouth the way he was fucking me—slow and deep.
It didn’t take long. I was still sensitive from the night before, and when he brought me down and held me there, grinding up into me, it hit without warning. I pulled back, about to drop my head to his shoulder, but he cupped my jaw with one hand, holding it where he wanted me, making me look at him. Watching my face as I rolled my hips against his, eyes fluttering, mouth open, cries filling the room.
His fingers dug into my hip, and he slammed up into me two more times, then he grunted, pulling my mouth back to his so I could taste his moans, those sexy growls, as he came hard inside me.
I dropped my head to his shoulder, and he smoothed his hands over my back, body sated, sleepy, like I’d been last night. Protected and treasured in his strong arms…
That’s when I remembered what I’d said before I went to sleep.
I’d told him I loved him.
I didn’t even know if he’d said it back, if he’d even wanted to.
I stiffened, and he tightened his arms around me like he could read my mind.
“Eli…” God, I sounded as unsure as I felt.
“I want to take you somewhere,” he said against my hair. “Will you let me show you something?”
“Yes,” I said against his skin, heart hammering in my chest. He’d heard me last night; how could he not have? Was that why he was acting strange this morning? Was it more than what happened in town?
My first thought was to wish them back, wish back those two mumbled words said when I was at my most vulnerable, but then I realized I didn’t want that. I did love him. I loved him so much, the idea of not having him anymore physically hurt. I didn’t know if that was something Eli was ready to hear, but I knew he cared for me. It was in every touch, every long look, every whispered word.
Whatever it was he wanted to show me, it was important to him, and I got the feeling, to us.
I lifted my head. “
When do you want to go?”
He smoothed my hair away from my face. “Now.”
…
Elijah drove us to the other side of town. It was a beautiful day, sun shining but not too hot.
I was sick to death of the damn sun.
We needed rain, badly. Still, I loved this part of the country, couldn’t imagine living anywhere else but here. I looked over at Eli. He was deep in thought, that troubled expression back on his face that had been there first thing this morning.
We’d showered together, then he’d taken my hand and led me to his truck. I had no idea where we were going, and the farther we drove, the more my belly squirmed. Wherever it was made him uneasy. His shoulders were tense, his jaw tight, brows low. Why was he taking me somewhere he so obviously didn’t want to go?
My nerves increased, and I ended up just as tense as he was.
Finally he turned down a narrow road lined with cornfields, brown and dry, the drought-ridden earth cracked and lifeless. I pressed my hands between my knees and squeezed them together to stop my hands from fidgeting. At the end of the road was a small house. As we got closer, I could see the paint was chipped, windows broken or gone, the front door left hanging open. The yard was as cracked and dry as the fields around it, obviously abandoned. It gave me the creeps instantly.
Eli pulled up a couple yards away and turned off the engine. His eyes were fixed ahead, locked on that open front door.
I reached out and touched his arm. “Where are we? What is this place?”
He was quiet for several seconds, then finally said, “Home.”
He still hadn’t looked at me, and I had to work to keep my voice even. “This is where you grew up?”
“Yes.” He dropped his hands to his thighs. “I was born in that house, lived there until my mother passed away.” He turned to me then. “The day she was buried, I walked out and I never came back.”
His pain was thick, a tangible thing. I wanted to reach out, pull him into my arms, but that’s not what he needed right then; I could tell by the rigid way he held his body. “Why did you bring me here?”
Breaking Him Page 13
