“No. Not yet,” I told her. “Thanks though.”
“I’ll see ya later,” Indie told me when her car pulled up out front.
“Bye.” I waved but went inside with the hope that Van would want to do something before the show.
I didn’t even mean sex but wasn’t opposed to it, either.
The elevator took forever to get me to our floor. His room, which he’d said he shared with his brother Bonham, was farther down the hall and around the corner from mine. He’d told me the number last night.
Before knocking, I paused and took a deep breath. It wasn’t nerves that made me hesitate. We’d seen each other naked already. And he didn’t seem bothered by what I’d told him earlier. It was me. I was bothered that he knew now.
Right as I lifted my hand and was about to make contact with the wood, the door flew open Van and a very tall blonde stood before me. For a moment I considered it could be Bonham but the surprise on his face and the way he looked at me…it was the way he’d looked at me last night.
No. This was Van. They might’ve been identical twins but I could definitely tell them apart as could their family.
This woman was beautiful. Model-level beautiful. She was almost as tall as his six feet and was model-thin as well. She was wearing a black skirt with a pink sequined tank top. It looked quite chic. Her blonde hair and makeup were both done to perfection while I stood there in jean shorts, a Pushing Daisies T-shirt, and flip-flops. My hair was pulled back into a bun and I hadn’t put any makeup on this morning. Hadn’t seen the point.
It wasn’t that this woman made me feel inadequate. Or maybe it was. I knew I could’ve glammed up the way she was and I’d look hot as hell if I said so myself. But given how I lived right now, I chose comfort and now hoped that this laid-back style was also something Van found attractive.
But damn. Seeing him with his hand on this woman’s arm felt kind of like someone had elbowed me in the stomach.
Not great.
“Hey,” I said, my voice edging on shaking. The stupid wave I gave him did not help my case at all.
“Go,” he said to the woman, not to me, as he gave her a little encouragement, which created an opening for me when he stepped to the side. He nodded his head to tell me to come in, which I did. But the door didn’t shut behind me.
“Come on, Van. We could have a really good time.”
“Not interested,” he said back.
“From what I’ve heard, you’re always interested.”
“Leave before I call hotel security.”
“Fine,” she snapped. “Maybe I’ll go find your brother. You look exactly alike, so probably everything is exactly alike.”
“Good luck with that,” he said then let the door shut, putting a barrier between her and us.
I was standing in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do with my hands. So I stood there with them hanging limply at my sides.
“I’m sorry about that,” he said once he was almost directly in front of me.
“It’s fine. I mean…” I swallowed hard. “It was a surprise. I thought when you sent me that text that you wanted me to stop by, but—”
“I did. I do.” He groaned and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. Then he dropped onto the corner of the bed, grabbed me by the hips, and yanked me to him. I was standing between his knees and was still barely taller than him.
Van rested his head on my stomach and took a deep, calming breath. Well, hopefully it was calming.
“I sent that message hoping you’d come over,” he said against my shirt.
I wet my lips and tried to ignore the nagging feeling in my chest. Yes, I’d been surprised to find him with another woman, but we hadn’t declared our undying devotion to each other, either. We hadn’t even talked about not seeing other people. It sucked because seeing him with someone else was going to be hard as hell. Seeing him with that woman had made me want to vomit.
“I’m here,” I said after deciding that aloof might work best for this situation then ran my fingers through his hair.
Van pulled his head back and looked me in the eye. “I didn’t invite her here.”
“OK.”
“I didn’t. I came back to the hotel and she was naked on the bed.”
“What?” I said with a gasp. “They really do that?”
“More often than I should probably admit. But she was here, spread-eagled on the bed.” His hands came up to cup my face. “I told her to leave right away. I swear.”
“I believe you.” Trying to reassure him made me realize how worried he was about my thoughts on all of this. That was easy. I didn’t love it, but he had no reason to lie to me. He could’ve had sex with that woman and it would’ve been none of my business. He wasn’t my boyfriend. “Wait. Are you worried about what I think about this?”
“Yes.” The word dropped from his mouth in a huff.
“It’s not really my business. But after your run-in with Lawson this morning, he’ll be super pissed if he sees you with someone else while we’re…doing whatever we’re doing.”
“I give fuck all about your brother. I give lots of fucks about you.”
Him saying he cared about me sent a tingling sensation over my skin. We’d been hanging out and just had sex. It was safe to say he liked me but hearing him say it was totally different.
“How did she get in here?” I asked him.
“She said she’s friends with one of the maids or something. I don’t know. I wasn’t really listening to her. I was focused on getting her the hell out of here before you showed up.”
Van stood and wrapped his arms around me to bring me into a tight hug. I tucked my arms around his waist. There wasn’t a shred of daylight between us.
“I get it, Van,” I told him. “I’ve heard lots of stories from Lawson and the guys over the years. I know that’s how it is being in the public eye. I trust you not to make me look like an idiot.”
He pushed me back and his heavy gaze settled on mine. “What do you mean?”
After wetting my suddenly dry lips, I said, “Well, now that everyone knows we were together last night, maybe don’t parade other women in the same space as me. Lawson will freak and, to be honest, I won’t love it, either.”
His eyebrows slammed down as if he couldn’t understand the words coming from my mouth. Maybe he thought that was too much to ask, but it was what I needed and I wouldn’t be afraid to ask for what I needed.
“Lexi.” He sighed and shook his head. “I’d never do anything to make you uncomfortable, but more than that, I’m not interested in being with anyone else.”
My eyes widened in surprise. “What?”
“Trust me. No one is more surprised than me.” The corner of his mouth twitched. “I told you that I’m not a dater or I haven’t been, but damn, Lexi, you’ve hooked me. I’m falling for you like a brick.”
“How would you even know that if you’ve never even been in a relationship?”
He tucked one of my flyaway hairs back in place. “No one is more surprised than me. What about you? Think you might want to try this thing with me?”
Even biting my lips together couldn’t stop my mouth from curling into a smile. “Van, I’d love to be your first girlfriend if that’s what you’re saying.”
His loud laugh took me off guard, as did when he reached down, grabbed the backs of my thighs, and lifted me. I giggled as he held me, snaked a hand up to the back of my neck, and brought me in for a kiss. He spun us around and dropped me onto the bed.
As he hovered above me, I asked, “Is this the bed she was naked on?”
He leaned up and did the one-handed pull to yank his shirt over his head. “No. It was the other one.”
Well, that I could work with.
We didn’t have much time before he’d have to get back to the venue for tonight’s show. As his hand slid up my shirt and cupped my bra-covered breast, there was no doubt we’d make the most of every minute.
12
Van
After being with Lexi the last two nights, the bus bunk felt rather empty. I hadn’t even pretended that I was going to stay in my own room last night, though no one had said anything about it anyway. To me at least. I was sure Lawson had some words for Lexi, but she’d just said that everything was fine when I’d asked her.
We’d had some food in her room and then spent some time engaging in my favorite new pastime.
Getting Lexi naked.
Now I was on my bus and she was on hers. We’d played the show last night and stayed in the hotel since we didn’t have far to go. Because of our next show tonight, we’d had to leave early this morning. I wasn’t going to complain. I’d gotten a second night in a hotel bed with Lexi.
I just wished she’d decided to ride on my bus with me and I was making that clear in our Words with Friends game by using words like sad, rejected, and anything else I could come up with.
I was leaning back on the couch with my neck resting on the top and my legs stretched out into the walk area while Daltrey was reading a book at the table. Mack was on his computer across from him and I had no idea where Bonham was. Not far, obviously. Until he came down the little hallway and joined me on the couch. Though he turned the TV on and the gaming system.
Playing games was one of the ways we passed the time.
“Daisy tell you that Bri is coming for a while?” Bonham asked me as he chose his game. Bri was Daisies best friend and we’d all known her forever.
“Yeah.” I yawned. “It’ll be good for her.”
“But we’re going to be outnumbered by women soon,” Mack said without turning to look at us.
“I’m OK with that,” I told him.
Me being around women had never been a problem. I’d never been interested in Bri and we’d never hooked up, but it’d be good for Daisy to have her here for a while. My best friends were my brothers. I had other friends, but not any I’d want to visit on tour. Daisy, being the only girl in the family, always had us, but I’d been told more than once it wasn’t the same and we’d known Bri for as long as I could remember.
She’d grown up down the street from us and was the one friend Daisy could always count on.
Daltrey snorted. “You would be.”
My brothers were well aware of my reputation. Where I was the hookup brother and Bonham was the relationship brother, Daltrey fell somewhere in between. He’d hook up sometimes, but he’d also had plenty of steady relationships. Mack was a bit of a question mark.
He’d had girlfriends, though they’d never lasted long, and he’d had one-night stands as well as a few friends with benefits, but none of them had had longevity. It was like there was someone out there he wanted and couldn’t have, but he’d never said a word as to who it could’ve been.
I knew this because whenever we asked why he stopped seeing someone, he’d tell us that she hadn’t been right. Once he’d said she’d been a poor replacement for perfect. Mom had slapped the back of his head for that one, but then he’d explained that there hadn’t been anything wrong with the woman he’d been dating. He just wasn’t going to lead her on when she wasn’t what he’d had in mind.
There had to have been someone. None of us had figured out who.
“Yeah, right,” Bonham said with a laugh. “Not anymore.”
“Not anymore what?” I asked him as I’d zoned out there for a bit.
“OK with women being around.”
“Why’s that?”
Bonham rolled his eyes at me, then gave me this what-the-fuck look with his face scrunched together, like he’d just smelled something truly awful.
“Don’t act like every single person here doesn’t know you spent the last two nights with Lexi.”
Yeah. They had all seen the flareup between Lawson and me that first morning. I kept my mouth shut and waited for him to say something else.
“Come on.” He turned his attention back to the game. “Two nights in a row for you must be like getting married. You’ve never done that before.”
He had me there. If I had slept with the same person twice, it had never been in a row. That was where attachment would form in my mind and I wasn’t wrong, considering that I had all these feelings for Lexi already.
“I’m right, right?” he pushed. “You’ve finally caught actual feelings for a woman?”
My jaw tightened when I noticed Daltrey paying close attention and Mack shifting in his seat sideways to watch our little interaction. I had no concern over admitting my feelings for Lexi. My concern came from the amount of shit they’d give me and possibly her. After all, look at how Mack and I had been toward Lawson.
“Yeah,” I finally admitted. “I’ve caught some feelings.”
“How many feelings?” Daltrey asked.
“How the fuck would I know? All of them?”
“Wait, wait, wait.” Mack tapped his fingers against the bench seat. “After all the shit you’ve given Lawson, you went and fell for his fucking sister?”
“First, am falling,” I corrected. “And second, you’ve been giving him as much shit as I have.”
“True, but I’m not fucking his sister or falling in love with a twenty-one-year-old, which gives me leverage over both of you.”
“Not fucking fair,” I told him. “Have you seen Lexi? She’s fucking beautiful and she’s amazing. I don’t think I stood a chance.”
“I’ve obviously seen her, but I thought you were just trying to mess with Lawson’s head.”
“I was,” I admitted. “At first. But the more I got to know her…Look. There’s not a lot I can do at this point.”
“So what’s the problem?” Bonham asked me. “Doesn’t seem like there is one outside of Lawson trying to hand you your dick in the hallway the other morning.”
“Lawson was nowhere near my dick.” But that wasn’t the answer to the question he’d asked. “Honestly? You know I’ve never done this relationship bullshit before. I’m worried I’m going to fuck it up, which was why I’ve never been in a relationship in the first place. Plus, we’re on the road. What happens when she goes home? Distance isn’t a great thing, right?”
“That was a lot all at once,” Bonham said as he sat there blinking at me. This fucker was mocking me. “Look, we can figure it out. Like for example, we could tell fans that I’m you when they want to hook up. We’re identical. They’ll never know the difference.”
Daltrey chuckled. “That’s true.”
I shook my head. “You don’t hook up.”
“Or we could tell them you broke your dick. Nobody’s going to want to hook up with you if your dick isn’t working.”
“Ouch.” Mack laughed the loudest of all of them. It was incredibly hard not to laugh with them. My brother might’ve been being stupid, but he was getting the job of making me worry less done.
“But if we’re going long-term, we’ll have to spread a rumor that you’re gay.”
“That won’t work,” Daltrey countered. “Some of the women he usually hooks up with will want to see if it’s true and/or prove him wrong.”
“That’s true.” Bonham scratched at his jaw several times before snapping his fingers like the best idea ever had come to mind. “If you need a break, we could always switch places.”
“You already said that,” I told him.
“Oh, I meant with Lexi. She probably wouldn’t notice.”
That comment almost earned him a fist to the jaw. “Fuck off,” I said seriously. My brothers, my twin especially, would’ve never stepped in on my girl. Even if we’d broken up. That was the brother code and a line none of us had ever crossed.
Bonham held his hands up as if he were trying to calm me. “Settle down. But seriously, if you don’t want to fuck it up, you won’t fuck it up. If she means something to you and you don’t want to hurt her, you won’t. You won’t let yourself.”
“You believe that?”
He nodded. “It’s how it works. You won’t let yourself hurt her because you w
on’t let yourself hurt you and if you care about her as much as I think you do you won’t want to be without her. Ergo, if you hurt her and she dumps your sorry ass, you really hurt yourself.”
“That’s how it works, huh?”
“No,” Mack muttered, though I didn’t think any of us were supposed to hear him.
“Yes,” Bonham said louder. “I do.”
I sat there nodding for a few seconds before finally adding, “I hope that’s how it works.”
“It is.”
“You think you’re so smart about this shit, don’t you?”
“I am.”
“How’d you get so smart, then?”
Bonham chuckled and said, “I’ve always been the smarter twin. Everyone knows that I’m the smarter and better-looking twin.”
The bus erupted in laughter. Nobody had ever known that. We were fucking identical. He couldn’t be the better-looking.
“If you’re smarter and better-looking, then what did I get?”
A grin played at the corner of his lips. “A good vocabulary and a sexy brother.”
The level of noise grew louder. “Three sexy brothers,” Daltrey added, though I could barely understand him, given just how hard he was laughing.
“You can all fuck off,” I told the whole lot of them before focusing back on my phone and waiting for their fun to die down.
He wasn’t wrong on several points, though. I wouldn’t hurt Lexi and not just because I wouldn’t hurt myself, but because I didn’t think I’d survive seeing pain on her face that I’d put there.
It’d kill me.
13
Lexi
We’d spent the day on the bus, then everyone was busy with the show. I wasn’t, but everyone around me was. I ended up hanging out backstage with Indie and Bellamy, who had just returned from a job interview back in Michigan. I wasn’t entirely sure what kind of job it was but she’d been excited about it. She wasn’t convinced she’d get it and thought Ransom was secretly hoping she didn’t so she could spend the rest of the tour with him. Indie was looking, too, but wasn’t in as much of a hurry.
Van (Pushing Daisies Book 2) Page 10
