I tipped my head then turned away from him and started for the door. Lexi really should’ve come through it at any minute.
But that was when it hit me.
Lawson had said he had the same tingling feelings for my sister and neither of us had been talking about love.
“Aw, man,” I said with a groan then turned back to him. “I didn’t need that visual.”
Lawson smiled a toothy grin. “Sucks, doesn’t it?”
Yeah, it fucking did, but when I saw my girl, any mental images of Lawson and my sister disappeared.
Her sweet face was all I needed to see.
19
Lexi
Van filled me in on his little peace talk with Lawson and I couldn’t have been more relieved. Daisy and I thought that they were both being babies about the whole thing and should just get over it. She and I no problems with one another, even though both of us were sleeping with the other’s brother.
Boys could be so dumb.
“Why don’t we go get something to eat?” Van suggested after we got our things settled in my room. “We’ve got a couple of hours before soundcheck.”
“You mean like out?” I suggested. “In public? Like a real date and everything?”
Van chuckled then yanked me toward him. “I know. It sucks that so much of our time is spent in venues and on the bus.”
“It doesn’t suck. Not at all. Do I wish I got to spend more time with you? Sure, of course. But what you guys are doing right now is amazing. A lot of great bands never get the chance.”
“That’s very true.” He kissed my lips gently before continuing. “And I’m very lucky that you get it.”
“Of course I do. My brother has been doing this kind of thing with Courting Chaos for years. It’s actually kind of normal to me. Though it is weird to think about you being out here while I’m stuck back home.”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “Let’s grab lunch and talk about that.”
It’d be an early lunch, but I agreed. Their schedules were so weird and I’d already begun adapting to it. How Lawson did everything he did with as little sleep as he usually got, I had no idea. Maybe it was his genes and I hadn’t gotten them or maybe he’d trained for this his whole life. I didn’t know.
Van and I took a rideshare to a nearby chain restaurant, one that had breakfast all day. He ordered a huge breakfast. Steak and eggs, toast, and hash browns. It was a large portion. While I went with something more reasonable. Scrambled eggs and toast, but I couldn’t resist an order of hash browns. I’d never met a guy near my age who didn’t eat enough to feed a village. Probably the age.
“You wanted to talk about me going home?” I asked, genuinely curious as to what he’d meant. I had no doubts about Van. None at all, so I didn’t think he wanted me to leave. It was something else.
“Actually, that’s the last thing I want to talk about.” He chewed the chunk of meat in his mouth. “But we should because you haven’t said when that’s going to be.”
“I know.” I swallowed hard and took up some of the dead air by taking a long, slow drink. “I don’t want to go yet and I assume you don’t want to get rid of me yet.”
His gaze jumped up to mine. “Fuck no. That’s why I wanted to talk. I know you have to go home for school in the fall, but I’d like you to stay until then.”
I couldn’t help the wide grin that appeared on my face even if I’d wanted to. I loved this man and he wanted me to stay with him as long as possible. I’d push aside the fact that the idea of returning for another year where Nora and the others also went made me ill. I was sure things would blow over by then but still seeing them all again didn’t fill me with joy.
“Then we’re agreed. I mean, I’ll probably go see my mom at some point. Three months is a long time and as long as Lawson doesn’t get sick of sharing a bus, I’ll definitely stay.”
“That’s the other thing.” We each continued taking bites in between talking. We didn’t have the whole day to spend here. “I’d like you to come stay on my bus.”
I winced. Staying with Van wasn’t the issue. He was spending the night in my hotel, so obviously, I wanted to be with him. But his bus came with his three brothers, whom I hadn’t gotten to know yet. How comfortable would I really be?
“You don’t like that idea?” he asked me when I didn’t respond.
“It’s not that. Not exactly,” I told him. “I just don’t know your brothers yet and if they’re trying to sow their wild oats, they might resent having me here. It’s the band’s first tour. I assume you guys have been making the most of that.” I raised my eyebrows expectantly.
He narrowed his eyes. “Can I plead the fifth on that?”
After a giggle at his response, I took another drink of my diet pop. “I don’t care, Van. As long as you’re not now, it’s not really my business what you did before. If there’s anything you wanted to tell me, I’m open to hearing it, but it’s not like I can get mad at you for what you did with other women before we even really knew each other.”
His shoulders relaxed as if that had been a real worry for him and I’d relieved him of that worry.
“But,” I continued, “I also don’t want to interfere with your brothers and have them resent me for it. Or think they need to be on their best behavior because I’m there. Daisy has talked about your mom a lot. Seems like that would be something she would insist on.”
“She would.” He sighed as if that meant we could be together only part of the time. I’d like every night but rushing this wouldn’t do either of us any good.
“So, see? What if we’re still together in ten years and they hate me because I fucked up their first big tour? No thanks.”
Van only laughed. “They don’t hold grudges, but I get it.”
This was where I got a bit nervous. My stomach tilted and I began to wonder if the eggs had been a good idea.
“Should I assume that you’d automatically say no to staying on my bus at least sometimes?” I asked, pushing what little was left of my eggs around my plate.
He groaned. “No. I wouldn’t automatically say no, but I think your brother will have a huge problem with it.” He took the last bite of his steak.
“I can handle him and I have your sister on my side.” I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from giggling before adding, “I feel like she has ways of convincing him.”
He gagged. Then choked. Then coughed and kept coughing even after taking a drink of his water, which made the waitress come over to check on us.
“I’m OK,” he said, but then he coughed again. At least we knew he was breathing. His watery eyes looked from her to me then back as he downed half of his drink to clear things up. “That was mean,” he said, but his voice didn’t sound right. It took him clearing his throat two more times before he was back to normal.
“It was,” I agreed with him. “But that’s the kind of thing that you and Lawson need to get over, especially if you’re going to stay with me on the bus. We might even hear them have sex sometimes. I’m sure that happens on your bus.”
His jaw tensed. “You hear them? I don’t think I can stay with you.”
“Obviously. The walls aren’t thick. What did you think happened?”
“That they…” His teeth were clenched together tightly. “Quiet.”
“About as quiet as we are.”
“Fuck,” he muttered.
I narrowed my eyes on him. “Are you saying that doesn’t happen on your bus?”
“It’s different.”
“It’s not.” I shook my head. This double standard was annoying. “I don’t really hear them. I might have heard a noise or two, so calm down, but it’s not different. Women are allowed to enjoy sex too.”
“I know they are.” He slid the bill over that the waitress had just dropped off. “It doesn’t bother you? I know it doesn’t bother guys unless the girl is his sister,” he added quickly.
I chuckled. “No. I’ve gone to college. The things I’ve heard wou
ld burn you with embarrassment.”
The two of us slid out of the booth and went to pay.
“Doubt that,” he said before stepping up to the register.
We headed back to the venue and all too soon, Van had to go to soundcheck. I went with him and watched from the side.
I was hanging out in the main meeting area room—no idea what to call it—as Pushing Daisies had band stuff to take care of, Courting Chaos was doing whatever they did, and Lawson was busy being a badass boss man when Daisy slid into the room.
“What’re you doing?” she asked when I glanced up from my Words with Friends game.
“Trying to figure out how to use this x against your brother, so it’s obviously very important.”
She snorted. “Let’s go hang out without the boys for a while. I want to grab a snack and hydrate.”
I swung my feet down from where I’d had them propped up on the table. “Let’s go hydrate.”
As we made our way down the hall, Indie popped out from another hallway and we roped her into going with us. She sent Bellamy a text saying we were going to Daisy’s bus and she should join us there.
We hadn’t made it out of the arena before Bellamy fell in step beside Indie.
“We’re abandoning the guys?” Bellamy asked. Her red curls were such a soft color compared to Daisy’s.
“Yup. They’ll live,” Indie told her as she threaded her arm through Bellamy’s.
The four of us hurried out to the bus. No idea why. Nobody was chasing us, but we giggled all the way.
“You’d think growing up with my brothers would mean that I’d be used to being around them all of the time,” Daisy said once we were settled around the table with a pile of granola bars in the middle and each of us with a bottle of water. “But damn, is it nice to get away from all that testosterone. My brothers are gross and ridiculous.”
“Not all of them,” I said with a cheeky grin.
“Ugh. Especially Van. He’s the grossest. If you all knew the things I’ve heard over the years…” She shuddered to our loud laughter.
“I probably don’t want to know, but I do have a brother and can probably relate.”
“Did you ever hear back from that job?” Daisy asked Bellamy.
“I did. I got it, but it just wasn’t a good offer, so I turned it down,” she told us. “Something will come up.”
“Ransom is hoping it doesn’t come up soon.” Indie bumped their shoulders together.
Bellamy rolled her eyes at her best friend. “Of course he does. He wants me here at least for the summer. Then they can finish the tour and he’d be back in Ann Arbor not long after.”
“It’s sweet,” Indie told her.
Bellamy shrugged. “We’ll see what happens. Booker and Paige make it work.”
“And you two did that while you were in school, right?” I asked, more for my own reassurance than anything. Eventually, Van and I would be in this position.
“Yeah. Well, that was easier because the guys were home most of the winter. They just slid over to Detroit to record, but then they were home almost every night.”
My shoulder unclenched while both Bellamy and Indie gave me a knowing look. They’d been able to see what I was asking.
“But you guys lived in the same town.”
“Oh, please.” Daisy nudged me. “Like Van is going to be in Detroit most of the time. Unless you’re living in the dorm and he can’t stay with you.” I would be and my face tightened. “Even then, though, Detroit and Chicago are not that far apart. It’ll be fine.”
“You could always meet or come stay with us in Ann Arbor,” Indie offered. “Because we seriously better be seeing both of you once the tour ends.”
“Please.” Daisy scoffed. “You’re not getting rid of us now.”
“It’s so nice to have friends again,” I said without thinking about it.
Indie cocked her head to the side. “What?”
I gave her and Bellamy the quickest rundown of what had been happening and brought Daisy up to date along the way with what had last happened.
“That’s shit,” Bellamy said as she adjusted her weight in her seat. “Women shouldn’t do that to each other. Even if Indie and I stopped being friends, I’d never do something like that. It’s disgusting.”
Daisy and I were nodding when Indie said, “First, you’re never getting rid of me, and second, of course, you wouldn’t do that. You’re not a terrible person.”
“Well, she wasn’t a friend in the first place then.”
No truer words had ever been spoken. I just wished I’d known that before it had come to this. I was about to tell them why she’d done it when my phone vibrated.
“It’s Lawson,” I told them. “He needs to talk to me.”
“I should head back in any way,” Daisy said, sliding out.
The four of us walked together and laughed the whole way back into the venue then went our separate ways while I continued to where Lawson had told me I could find him.
He was sitting at a small table typing on the external keyboard he had for his iPad. Always working.
“Hey, Lawson,” I said, coming up beside him. “You summoned.”
“Did not.” He shook his head. “Asked to talk to you.”
“I’m just messing with you. What’s up?”
Lawson pushed back in his seat and folded his arms over his chest.
“Wanted to let you know that the profile is down. Your accounts are cleaned out as best as we could get them. I can’t guarantee you won’t get another message, but delete them, ignore them, whatever, but they should get less and less until they stop.”
“Perfect. Thank you.” I reached up and gave him a big hug. That dumb profile would’ve still been up without him because I hadn’t been able to get anywhere with it.
“You’re welcome.” He dropped a kiss to the top of my head.
When I pulled back, I knew I wanted to tell him why Nora had done this. Not to make him feel bad, there wasn’t anything for him to have guilt over, but so he didn’t think it was random.
“I called Nora the other day and asked her why she did this.”
He scowled and asked, “What’d she say?”
“It was because of you. Oh and because apparently, I wouldn’t go out with a guy who never asked. That means we think we’re better than everyone else. It’s dumb.”
“What do you mean?” His face scrunched up in confusion.
I took a deep breath. “So Nora had asked me a bunch of times when she was going to meet you, but she asked about Erica as well, so I didn’t think anything of it.”
“Right. Friends meet family.” His hands were resting on his hips and he had the look of a man about ready to lose his shit on someone.
Lawson had always been protective of Erica and me. This wasn’t new, so I knew this had been hard on him too.
“It never worked out. Whatever.” I quickly wet my lips. “I guess you met her briefly after a Courting Chaos show and sparks flew.”
“The fuck they did. I don’t even remember her.”
“Right? Anyway, her grand plan was that I’d introduce the two of you and then you’d start dating and eventually, I don’t know, having a dozen babies, but I never introduced you. And the guy thought I’d slighted him. You know how guys can be.”
“So she was pissed at you because we hadn’t met? That doesn’t make sense.”
“Well,” I continued, “when she found out you and Daisy were together, I guess she realized it wasn’t going to happen and decided to take her rejection out on me. She knew this guy had been harboring a grudge and there goes the perfect storm.”
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I don’t get it. Where would she even get this idea?”
“Don’t be sorry. You didn’t do anything,” I assured him. “And you’ve been quite visible because of Courting Chaos. But I don’t know. She’s probably just using it as an excuse.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah.”
I took a deep breath and began slowly walking toward the door. “It’s over now and everything’s good. Oh, and just so you know, I asked Van to stay on our bus when we leave tomorrow. Bye.”
“Lexi,” he called out, but I didn’t turn back. I kept moving to go find my boyfriend.
20
Van
After the show, Lexi and I spent many fun hours in her hotel room. Long enough that I’d needed to feed her, so room service was ordered. Our drive was short the next morning, which was why we got to spend that precious night in the hotel.
Lexi and I decided to ride on our own buses today because Mack had said we were going to decide some things on the drive. Daisy was even going to ride with us. It was essentially a several-hour band meeting. It sucked, but we made a lot of decisions for the next album, and Daisy’s song with Courting Chaos was going to help us a ton.
This was it. It was happening and Mack had already started planning a modest tour of our own next year. Which was exactly how Courting Chaos had come up. Though they’d already been a little bigger when they’d gotten the gig opening for Kissing Cinder, so our first solo tour wouldn’t be like this one.
We had a few dates overseas in the fall with Courting Chaos which was as exciting as fuck though I knew not to ask Lexi if she could come with us. School. Fuck I wished she could go though.
Still, it was what we’d dreamed of for years.
I spent a few minutes kissing Lexi breathless before soundcheck, then we had some radio interviews and the show.
It wasn’t until after our set that I was finally able to see her again. She owned my thoughts the entire time. If this constant desire to be with her was part of some fuckin’ honeymoon stage, I didn’t want it to end. I just felt more grounded with her there.
After a shower and change of clothes, I sent my girl a text asking where she was. She said on her bus, so that was where I headed.
“Hey,” I said after opening the door to her bus without knocking. Lawson wasn’t going to be there right now, as he was still inside probably watching the guys with my sister tucked against his side. I’d seen them sit that way more than once.
Van (Pushing Daisies Book 2) Page 15
