I pulled my feet closer to me and sat up on my knees. I slowly crawled over to him, though I tried not to make the bed move so as not to wake him. When I was close enough to lean over him I stopped.
What are you doing? A voice in my head whispered. I leaned over him, carefully picking up my hand. What if he wakes up and finds you with your hand poised over his face? How are you going to explain yourself? I started to pull my hand back when I glanced at his hand covering his eyes. He had the palm facing up and there was a faint scar going from his thumb to his pinky that I hadn’t seen before.
I knew I was asking for trouble, but I didn’t stop myself when I placed my index finger on his thumb. I glanced back at his face to see if he had opened his eyes. He hadn’t, so I put my attention back on his hand. Lightly, I traced my finger over the scar. His finger twitched which made me jump a little, but then I glanced at his eyes. They still were still closed, so I took a risk and stayed where I was. I switched to my thumb and started to trace it back and forth. I wasn’t sure why I was doing this, but the scar intrigued me. It beckoned me like a force I couldn’t get away from. I reached his pinky again and stopped to look back at his eyes. I couldn’t help but wonder what was he dreaming about. Was he dreaming of someone touching the inside of his hand, the way I had dreamt of him picking me up when he actually had?
His hand suddenly closed over mine and he moaned deeply. I tried to pull my hand out of his grasp, but he just held it tighter.
“I didn’t expect this to be your way of waking someone up,” he said quietly, but deeper than normal. “I would have guessed more like having water thrown in my face.”
I tried to pull my hand away again, but he still wouldn’t let go. “Let go of my hand.”
“You’re the one who put it there, Love.” He slowly opened his eyes and met my gaze.
It took me a few seconds to turn away from his eyes. I looked at my hand. “I want it back now.”
“But see, you gave it to me freely.”
“No, I was wondering about your scar.” I looked back at his face. “Where’d you get it?”
He moved his thumb over the back of my hand, smooth and slow. “It was from a fight.”
“What kind of fight?” I tried to focus on this information instead of the fact that I wasn’t getting any anxious feelings about him touching my hand.
“Sword fight. I made the mistake of handing a man his sword while holding the blade like I’d seen other men do when the battle is no longer fair. This wasn’t a fair fight, as he grabbed it and yanked it out, leaving a deep gash in my hand.” He smiled. “I still won though.”
I looked at our hands for a moment.
“Do you have any scars like mine?”
I blinked and looked back at him. “I want my hand back.”
He held my gaze once again. I forced myself to break it when he wouldn’t. He let go of my hand and I immediately sat back on my knees. He slowly sat up, not taking his eyes off me.
“How’s your head?”
“It’s fine.” I folded my hands together.
“You aren’t dizzy or feel any pain?”
“Why’d you stay in here?” I asked, not taking my eyes off my hands and not wanting him to remember the other topic he had been on before my head became his concern.
“I wanted to make sure you were going to wake up in the morning. I was hoping you hadn’t had the same type of result that you had the last time you hit your head.”
“You could have gone back to your room and then come back and checked on me later.”
“True. But I wanted to be here in case you needed anything.”
I let myself look at him. It still surprised me that when he sounded sincere. He wasn’t faking it.
I shifted my position so my legs were next to me. “Why’d you call me ‘Love’?”
He shrugged. “After the scare you gave me last night, I couldn’t relax. So I sat here and tried to think of something else to call you since you don’t like me calling you Andrea and I wasn’t about to call you Andy. So it finally came to me to call you Love.”
“But why? What does it stand for?”
He shrugged.
“Is it really necessary?”
“Is it better than me calling you Andrea?”
I cringed. “I don’t like either.”
“Well, choose one or the other. I can’t sit here all the time and come up with names for you, and this way I’m giving you an option.”
I glanced at him. He smiled at me. “Do you want breakfast, Love?”
I rolled my eyes but nodded.
“Well, Captain Brown has left for the day already. He still keeps up his appearance, even though he doesn’t need to.”
I started to nod again, but stopped. I looked at him closely as I asked, “How’d you know he was gone?”
He shrugged and looked toward the door. “I heard him.”
“So you’ve been awake this entire time?”
He turned back to me. “I told you, I don’t sleep for very long.”
I put my head in my hands and moaned. This morning was not going well for me at all.
“You have no idea how hard it was for me not to ask you what you were doing when you first placed your hand in mine.”
“I put my finger on your scar. There’s a difference.” I tried, but sounded defeated. He was going to look at it any way he wanted, and if that was how he saw it then I was at his mercy.
I felt him watching me as I turned my attention to outside. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. I almost felt betrayed by those clouds from yesterday disappearing. I had no reason to blame the clouds for my problems though. I had no one to blame but myself. And one other person.
I turned back to James, who waited patiently before saying, “So… about breakfast…”
“Can I go downstairs?”
He nodded, smiling again. “Yes. And then you can tour the house.”
“You’ll let me do it alone?” I asked, getting out of the bed.
He stood up. “I’ll sit in the foyer on the steps.”
I rolled my eyes again as he led me out into the hall. “Tell me again why I’m supposed to trust you when you don’t trust me.”
He stopped at the top of the stairs and starred down at me. He let his gaze go down to my hand, and then looked at me again to make sure he had my attention. He glanced back down at it and slowly took it between his own. His eyes met mine when he said, “I’ve just told you something I’ve never told anyone else. Does that count as trust?”
I looked down at our hands and slowly pulled at mine. He let it go, but kept his focus on my face. I brought my eyes back to his. “I guess so.”
He nodded. “Okay then. Let’s see what we have for breakfast today.”
Chapter V
James was true to his word. He sat on the steps in the foyer and let me look around by myself. The kitchen was nothing special, and I knew there was nothing more to the dining room and living area, so I went back to the study. I wanted to know what all the books were. After starting on the wall where James couldn’t see me, I realized that several of them had titles that weren’t in English.
I pulled one of them down and held it in my hands. “James?”
“Yes?” he called from the big room, or foyer as James had told me it was actually called.
“What language is this?”
I heard him grunt as he stood up. He appeared in the doorway, but didn’t come any closer. When I gave him a weird look, he said, “You don’t want me looking over your shoulder.”
I rolled my eyes. “Come here.”
He raised his eyebrow but didn’t say anything as he stepped in the room. He came over to me and took the book from my hands. He looked at it for a second before handing it back to me. “It’s Latin.”
“Latin?” I looked at the book again. “Is that what most of these are?”
“Just this area you’re looking in. Once you get over to the wall with the fireplace, those are most
ly English. And the wall with the bay window has mostly navigational stuff.”
I put the book back and walked over to the shelves with English writing on them. I felt James follow me, but he kept his distance. When I looked over my shoulder at him, he was suddenly fascinated with his shoe.
“Yes?”
He lifted his head. “May I recommend something if you’re looking for reading material?”
I hadn’t thought about reading any of these, but then I realized that I had a perfect opportunity in front of me. Why not read some of these books to pass the time?
“Sure.” I stepped back as he came closer. He reached up high on the shelf above my head, and grabbed a book. He handed it to me. I looked at it but couldn’t read the title because of how faded it was. I opened it and found the title, but it wasn’t in English.
“The title is French but most of the book is in English.” he explained. “It’s my favorite one.”
“What’s it about?” I ask. I flipped the pages and saw that he was right.
“It’s about a king and some decisions and struggles he goes through. You may not like it, but I don’t know your taste in reading.”
I looked up at him, but he wasn’t looking at me. “I’ll read about anything.”
He nodded. “We still need to go into town today.”
“What about my tour?” I set the book down on a table.
He looked back at me. “What else is there to see?”
I stepped around him and went back into the foyer with him following me. I stopped in front of the double doors beneath the stairs and turned to him. “What’s in here?”
“Nothing of any interest,” he replied as he looked up at the ceiling.
I shook my head and reached for the handles.
“It’s locked.”
I pulled anyway and found he was telling the truth. I turned around. “I still had to try.”
He nodded and headed for the door. “Can we go into town now?”
“Are we going to walk or take the carriage?” I caught up with him as he held the door open for me.
“Neither. We’re just going to take horses.”
I stopped as he passed me going down the steps. “Horses?”
“Yes.” He didn’t stop. But when he noticed I was no longer beside him, he turned around. “Is that a problem?”
“I’ve never ridden a horse.” I stayed put, unable to move. Horses were big animals, and they made me nervous. It didn’t bother me when they were in front of the carriage, but to actually ride one? I wasn’t so sure about that.
He came back toward me and held out his hand. “Come on. I’ll show you.”
I looked at his hand. “But do we really have to?”
“The captain took the carriage.” He kept his hand out for me.
“Couldn’t we walk?”
He gave me a look. “We could, but it will be a quicker trip if we ride.”
“I’m still not sure about it.”
He sighed and dropped his hand. “You have no problem with fighting men who are more dangerous than you, but you can’t ride a horse?”
“Men are easier to judge. I can tell how they’re going to move and when they’re going to do it. I’m never around horses and they’re… they’re so big.” I looked down.
“I promise I’ll let nothing happen to you. If it would be better, we’ll ride the same one. You’ll have to put your arms around me, or you’ll have to sit in front of me and let me put mine around you, but if that will make it easier, we can do that.”
I knew he was only trying to help, but I still wasn’t sure.
“Let’s just go to the stable and look at them. Then we can decide. How does that sound?”
I looked at him. He never became angry or impatient with me. How could someone be like that? What was it like to not get angry or upset about anything?
I stepped down the stairs so that I was next to him, and he led me to the building off to the side of the main house. This must have been where they put the carriage as well. He pulled open the doors, and stood aside to let me see. There were three stalls on each side, two of which still had horses in them. They were of different colors and one was a little bigger.
James walked around me and headed toward the stall with the larger, dark brown horse. I stayed where I was in the doorway and watched him as he opened the stall and went around to the front of the horse. He quietly talked to it while he rubbed its giant nose with his hand. He reached behind him and pulled something off a hook. It looked like several leather straps and a metal bar. What was he going to do with it? Surely he wasn’t going to hurt the beast? He also grabbed a large rope, which he tied around the horse’s neck. James held onto one end and walked the horse out of the stall. The ground shook with each step the horse took. I stepped back as James stood next to me.
“Will you hold this for me?” He held out the strap as he draped the other thing over the fence. “I need to get the blanket and saddle and put it on. It’ll help if you hold her in place.”
I looked at the horse, which seemed to be looking back at me.
“It’s okay. She won’t hurt you. Plus, she’s the gentlest horse we have. Her name is Buttercup.”
“Buttercup,” I said. I didn’t take my eyes off her eye.
“Yes. I promise she won’t do anything to you. She’ll just stand here and wait while you hold the rope. I have some sugar cubes you can feed her in the meantime, and she’ll like you even more.” He gently placed his free hand around my wrist, bringing it up to my side and sliding the rope into it. He reached into his pocket and brought out several small white cubes. When Buttercup saw them her ears perked straight up. James smiled. “See? She loves sugar cubes.”
“How do I give them to her?”
He reached for my other hand, holding it palm up, and set the cubes in it. “Now, hold it up under her nose.”
I did as he said, and she suddenly had her mouth on my hand, using her tongue to get the cubes. I jumped, but he held my wrist so that I was forced to stay there. It was one of the weirdest feelings I’d ever felt.
“That wasn’t so bad was it?” James asked as he smiled at me again.
The horse looked back at me, ears still perked. “She really does like those, doesn’t she?”
He nodded. “Yes she does. Now, I’m going to step back into the barn and grab a blanket and a saddle. Will you be all right?”
I looked at the horse again. “I think so.”
“Okay. I’ll be right back.”
After he left, I stared at Buttercup again. She was watching me, but it looked like she was just hoping that I would have more cubes. I slowly reached my free hand up and held it above her muzzle. When I didn’t touch her, she lifted her head. I jumped back, but then realized she was just trying to get me to rub her nose. I reached my hand up again and rubbed it gently. She closed her eyes. She trusted that I wouldn’t do anything to her. How could something, even an animal, trust someone it didn’t know? For all she knew, I could do something to hurt her. I didn’t know what, because as far as I was concerned, it would take a lot to hurt her. But still, she wasn’t concerned at all.
“How are you doing?” James came up beside me and set the blanket and a saddle on the fence behind me.
“She seems to like me.”
“She’ll like just about anyone who will rub her nose and give her sugar.” He threw the blanket over her back. She didn’t flinch. He grabbed the saddle and slid that on her back as well. As he bent over to get it strapped on, I watched her again. She was looking at me and lifted her head a little when I had stopped rubbing her face. I rubbed it again and she closed her eyes.
“There we go. Now let me put the bridle on and we’ll be all set.” James came around behind me and patted her neck. He grabbed what he had placed on the fence, which was actually several leather straps and a metal bar. He arranged it a little and slid it over the horse’s head. The horse opened its mouth a little, letting the bar slide between it
s teeth. It was obviously used to this, making me relax a little. He wrapped the strap around the fence before turning to me. He held his hand out, and I placed the rope in it. He untied it from her neck and tossed it over the fence. Finally, he motioned for me to follow him to her side. “Do you want to ride behind me or in front of me?”
I looked at him. “Which is easier?”
“Neither is hard for me. It’s what you’re comfortable with. I know you don’t like me holding you from behind, even though technically I’d be holding the reins. However, if you want to ride behind me, I need to get up first and help you up. But seeing as you don’t know how to get up, maybe you should ride in front of me.” He studied me carefully as he said this, most likely gauging to see my reaction.
I slowly nodded. It seemed reasonable. He held his hand out for me and told me where to put my foot and what to do once I was up. I stumbled the first couple of times, but on the fifth try, I found myself in the saddle, not comfortable, but at least I wasn’t falling off. He grabbed the strap from off the fence and held it up to me. I took it when Buttercup moved suddenly. I gasped as I jerked forward.
“It’s okay, just hold on. Take the reins and I’ll be up in seconds.” Once I finally took hold of them, he was up behind me, reaching around me for them. “All right, I need you to lean back into me a little. My arms are going to be touching your sides, but I’ll hold the reins. The only time I’ll actually touch you is if I feel like you’re falling or anything like that. All right?”
I turned my head to look at him. He was trying so hard to make sure he didn’t upset me. I slowly nodded and leaned back into him. He clicked his tongue and Buttercup started walking.
“Can I try picking up the speed? If it scares you too much, I’ll slow her down again. But if we can get to town sooner, the sooner this will be over with.” His voice was right in my ear.
Forgotten Truths (The Forgotten Truths Series) Page 8
