“I broke it.” I mumbled.
“How did you do that? Or was it not your fault?” James asked. When I didn’t answer right away, he gently moved my face so he could see me.
“I punched Mark as hard as I possibly could.”
“Why?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
James’ eyes narrowed but he didn’t say anything.
Will sighed. “You’ll need to fix those soon, too.”
“No!” I yelled as I yanked my wrist out of his hold and wrapped it around my body. “Don’t touch me!”
“Love, we need to fix them,” James said in my ear.
“Don’t hurt me anymore please!” I cried. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I looked at him. “I can’t take it any longer.”
James’ expression became softer and after a moment he lifted his hand to the side of my face. “It has to be done.”
“I just want the pain to stop.” I started to tremble. I couldn’t handle any more pain at the moment.
Will had stayed quiet through this exchange but now cleared his throat. “James, I think it should wait.”
James turned to him. “It’ll only get worse.”
Will looked at me for a long moment before saying, “She’s been through enough. She knows it’ll hurt, but right now, leave her alone.”
I sighed. I was grateful to have someone on my side.
He attempted a small smile before he said, “I’m William.”
I slowly nodded. “I remember you.”
James turned back to me. “You do?”
“Yes.” I kept my eyes on Will. “We used to annoy Father by running up and down the stairs as loud as possible.”
Will smiled. “Yes we did.”
“And we’d move the books around in Father’s study and then blame it on each other so that he’d never know who it was.”
Will chuckled. “I think though that we should have given him a little more credit since I could reach the higher shelves.”
I felt a smile tug at the corners of my lips but then I frowned instead. “How long did you look for me after I was kidnapped?”
A serious expression appeared on his face. “We never stopped. From that first day we were always searching. We followed every lead that we got. We interrogated so many people that I lost count. We kept it in secret so that whoever took you didn’t know we were looking. That way, if you were still around, you’d stay around. And then Captain Taylor tells us about six months ago that he’s found another lead about a girl who’s around the correct age living on a pirate ship. So James was sent, and you know the rest.”
I turned to James as Will continued.
“When I heard that Captain Taylor had successfully brought you back to St. Martha, I felt so relieved. But I had to see you for myself. It was the only way I thought I’d know for sure. When we were younger, people often mistook us for twins. So I was hoping that there would still be a resemblance between us. That first time I saw you in the bedroom I couldn’t believe my eyes.”
My eyelids started to droop. The lack of sleep I’d had over the past week was catching up, and being in James’ arms was the safest I’d felt since I’d been in that place. He gently placed his hand on the side of my head and moved it against his shoulder. He kissed my hair as he adjusted himself a little.
“Don’t stop, Will,” I whispered.
“It can wait. You’re exhausted.” He shuffled a little. “I’m going to look around for some food and water. James, stay here.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” He tightened his hold on me a little. I heard some more leaves rustling, and I assumed Will had left. This was confirmed when James lifted my head off his shoulder and kissed me. I pulled away after a second because I remembered the kiss Mark had given me.
“What is it?” James asked. His tone was concerned and a little hurt.
“The other day when you called my name and I didn’t answer, did you watch when Mark came in?” I looked at him.
He gave me a weird look. “A little but when he sat down on your lap I couldn’t watch any more of it.”
“So you didn’t see what he did then?”
He placed his hand on the side of my face next to the scar. “I’m assuming from the screech you did that it’s when he did this.”
“But you weren’t watching so you don’t know why.”
He was really confused. “No. What did you do that made him do this?”
I looked down at my fingers as I fiddled with them. “He kissed me. He kissed me while I had been thinking about you kissing me, and it took me a moment to realize I was kissing him and not you. So I pushed him back and he laughed, and I became so angry that I punched him in the jaw. That’s how I broke my hand. He pulled his knife out and cut me before I could move.”
“I see.” He looked thoughtful for a moment. “What does this have to do with right now though?”
“I kissed him, James. I didn’t think about it, and I was thinking about you…” I didn’t continue so he moved his hand to under my chin to bring my eyes up to his. “I just feel so foolish.”
He didn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry.”
When he still didn’t say anything, I started to turn my head away. He stopped me and then kissed me again. He was still gentle but a little more forceful. It was like he wanted me to know and make sure that I would always know that it didn’t mean anything to him. None of it had. All that mattered was me and that I was okay and out of that place for good. So I kissed him back.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but…” Will’s voice trailed off.
James pulled away from me slowly but kept his gaze on mine. I relaxed against him again and closed my eyes as exhaustion crept up on me again.
“I found some food and water. It isn’t much, but it’ll last us until we get home. I also found a shirt for you, Andrea.”
“For me?” I asked. I opened my eyes to look at him.
He hesitantly ran his eyes over my body and I followed his gaze. The dress was in shreds. It was barely covering anything.
“Oh.”
James helped me put the shirt on. I bit my lip to the point where I could taste blood to keep from screaming. I leaned back into him and felt his arms wrap around me again. My head was under his chin, so I heard his chest rumble as he spoke again. “Where are we?”
“This place is in the middle of the forest. We’re about ten miles from St. Martha’s.”
“Ten miles?” I asked though I struggled to stay awake. “I don’t remember it being that far.”
“Well, I’m guessing that’s what it is. But whatever the distance, it took me two days to get here on foot. Of course I had no idea where I was going, and I just happened upon this place by chance when I was heading back. So maybe it’s not that far.”
I was really confused. But it didn’t seem like Will knew either, so maybe he was wrong, too. Ten miles was a long way for an eight year old to walk in the condition I was in.
“Go to sleep, Andrea. We’ll talk about all of this later,” James said.
I let my body relax into his. I felt safe once again in his arms.
Chapter XII
I woke before the sun rose the next morning. James was leaning his head against mine, and his breathing was deep so I knew he was asleep. His grip on me was tight, like when he had the last time he’d held me while he was sleeping, but I tried not to think about it. I was just glad to be back in his arms. My eyes wandered over the clearing until they landed on Will. He was leaning against a fallen log with his head back so that he was staring at the sky. I looked up, too, wondering what he was gazing at. There was a little blue sky visible between the leaves, but other than that there was nothing. When I turned back to him, he was watching me. After a few moments of silence he leaned forward and rested his arm on his knees.
“I bet you have a lot of questions for me.”
“I bet you have some for me as well,” I said quietly. I glanced at James to make sure h
e was still asleep.
Will nodded. “It can wait. We have time.”
I slowly nodded.
James tightened his arms around me and I grimaced. I was sore all over and in the morning light, I could see that my body was covered in black and blue marks along with numerous red and pink lines.
“Is he hurting you?” Will stood up.
“A little.” I started to squint from the sunlight getting brighter. “But leave him alone.”
“He needs to get up anyway so that we can get going.” He stopped on the other side of James. Leaning closer until he was right in his ear, he yelled, “Wake up!”
James jumped which made Will smile mischievously. James let his arms drop from around me and the pain almost immediately vanished. Will held his hands out to me, and when I had placed mine in his, he carefully lifted me to my feet. I stood, uncertain if I would be able to stand without help. Will was watching me carefully as James stood behind me. He stretched and then came up next to me. He, too, looked at me carefully before turning his attention to Will.
“Maybe I should carry her?” he asked.
Will let go of my hands and I felt myself stumbling backwards. James caught me so that he held onto my elbows. I tilted my head back until I was looking up at his face. He was still watching Will as he waited for an answer.
“One of us should, that’s for sure. But you’re in no shape to carry her.”
“I am so. They didn’t do anything to me.”
I looked at Will as he said, “What about your strength?”
“I’m fine.”
I sighed. “I don’t care who carries me, but will someone do it before I collapse?”
They looked at me again. It was getting brighter so I used one of my hands to shield my eyes. They looked at each other a moment before James lifted me off the ground. I grunted but closed my eyes as I nestled my face into his neck.
“All right, let’s get going. We can get pretty far today. If we’re lucky, we can reach the town and get a carriage to take us home,” Will said.
They walked for hours, so many that it seemed like it had been days since we had started. With each step I felt a jolt of pain but I was so glad knowing that it was all over that I didn’t complain. However, I was beyond bored, as well as slightly frustrated. I felt useless since I couldn’t even walk by myself. I hated relying on people for things, and being able to walk was one of those things I never thought I’d lose the ability to do. I knew it was temporary and that James would never complain about it, but I hated this feeling.
We finally stopped, and I felt so relieved. James set me down against a tree, and when I brought my hand away from my eyes, I could tell we were in a heavily shaded area. Will opened his bag to get food while James knelt down next to me. His eyes were on my hands, and when I looked at him and saw the expression on his face, I knew what he was planning. I crossed my arms over my chest though I winced a little at my shoulder and the other parts of my body protesting in pain. He brought his gaze to my face, and when he saw my expression, he sighed.
“It needs to be done, Love. If they stay like that much longer, you may not be able to use your hands again.”
I pulled my hands out and looked at them. “I don’t want to hurt anymore.”
“I know that, Love. I really do. But once it’s done, then it’ll be over with.” He gently took my hands in his. “Please. Let us do this, and then it’ll be over with.”
Will came over then and set his bag next to him. He looked at James before he turned his attention to me. “I promise we’ll do it as fast as possible, just like your shoulder.”
“Yeah, and I loved how I responded to that.” I spoke sarcastically as I looked back and forth between them. They were going to do it whether I agreed or not. They were just hoping I would so I felt like I had a say in the matter. I turned my attention to my hands in James’. “If it has to be done now...”
James placed my non-broken hand in Will’s, and they both held them with one hand around my wrists and the other around my fingers. James’ grip on my broken hand was gentler, but I knew it wouldn’t hurt less.
Will motioned to my broken hand. “Readjust your grip, James. We don’t want to make it worse.”
James readjusted his grip. “Does that look better?”
“Just don’t squeeze too tight.”
James nodded and adjusted his grip again.
“On the count of three, we’ll do it.” Will looked at James, who stared back. I closed my eyes as Will said, “One.”
I suddenly felt a massive crunch in my fingers and cried out. It wouldn’t have been as bad if my hand hadn’t been broken. But it was. I pulled my hands toward me and looked at them. My fingers were straight and the pain was a different kind of pain, almost relief, but it still hurt. I glared at the boys and unable to control my voice when I shouted, “What happened to three?”
They looked at each other again before Will turned his attention to me. “People tense their bodies when they know what’s about to happen. If you catch them off guard, the tension will, hopefully, not be there or at least won’t be as bad. It’s not a good idea to have a tense body when something is about to happen to it.”
I looked down at my hands again. My anger from earlier started to simmer. It seemed all my anger that I’d been holding for the past month or so had built up and was starting to boil over. In a flat tone, I said, “Is that right?”
“Please don’t be mad at us, Love. It’s how we’ve always done it to the boys.” James spoke softly.
I looked at him, barely able to control the snap that came out of my mouth. “I thought you didn’t think of me as one of the boys.”
“That’s not what I meant.” James leaned back. He looked at Will for something else to say. When Will came up empty, I tried to stand by myself. James reached out trying to help me but I slapped his hand back. I had to be able to stand up alone. I had to. I couldn’t feel this defenseless any longer. When I was stable on my feet, they stood up themselves.
“Love, please don’t be mad. Please try to understand. It’s over now. The pain is gone.”
“How is the pain gone? Look at me! I’m black and blue. It hurts to breathe, I have a throbbing sensation in my shoulder, a good portion of my body feels numb, and any time I even move, I feel like I’m going to scream. So please explain how the pain is over.” I spit the last part out, unable to help myself.
He sighed. “I meant the worst of the pain. The rest of this is just recovery.”
“I don’t care what kind of pain it is. It hurts! I told you what those men had done to me. You weren’t beaten, whipped, and cut.”
James winced, but I continued on with my rant.
“I’m tired, I feel weak and useless, and I just want to stop hurting!” I felt the tears as they flowed down my face. I leaned back into the tree and slid down. My back wasn’t healed enough for the movement. I could feel a couple of the scabs rip open and start to bleed again. I jerked away and collapsed on the ground. I shut my eyes tight to try to control the tears but it made them worse. I’d never been in so much pain in my life.
I heard their feet shuffle through the leaves and then they walked away. I opened my eyes. They were on the far edge of the tree line. It was clear that they were discussing my outburst. I was slightly concerned, but the sobs that had started hurt my ribs. Anything I did caused me more pain. It wasn’t just them, and I knew that. I looked down at my hands. I was pitiful, which just made me cry harder.
I hadn’t heard him this time, but James’ boots were suddenly right next to me. I couldn’t look up at him, but I told myself I had to stop crying. If I had to, I’d hold my breath to at least make the sobbing sounds stop. This wasn’t his fault and I knew he would blame himself. When I had that under control, I unsuccessfully tried to make the tears stop. I knew I couldn’t put it off any longer, I lifted my eyes. They traveled up James’ body until they landed on his face. He was leaning his back against the tree with his hand over
his face.
I hadn’t meant to offend him, but by the expression on his face, I knew I had. I hadn’t intended for my outburst, and I knew I was angrier with myself than at him. I let my gaze quickly scan the clearing. Will wasn’t in sight. I looked back up at James. I slowly reached my hand up toward the one that hung down at his side. I hesitated, but then lightly slipped my fingers through his. He tightened his grip ever so slightly, probably afraid to even touch me for fear of hurting me more but couldn’t resist it. He slowly sat down but didn’t look at me. He kept his head tilted back as he stared up at the sky.
I opened my mouth to apologize for taking my pain out on him, but snapped it shut when he closed his eyes and sighed.
“I’m not sure what to say to you.” He spoke quietly. “I knew you were in pain, but I was more concerned about getting us home so I looked over the fact that you were still in as much pain as you are. I should have known that. It was plain to see on your face as well as your body. It hasn’t even been a full day since you got out of there. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m sorry.”
There it was again. He was taking the blame. He was being so kind to me even when I didn’t deserve it. Yes, everything he’d said was true, but I was at fault as well.
“I didn’t tell you to stop,” I whispered.
“I doubt we would have listened.” He opened his eyes but stayed focused on the sky.
He wasn’t listening now. This had to stop. “Why do you do that?”
His face clouded over with confusion as he slowly turned his head toward me. “Do what?”
With his eyes on mine, I knew I couldn’t say what I wanted to. I pulled my hand out of his and held mine together on my lap. I kept my attention on them as I said, “You’re so patient with me and act as if I never upset you even though I know I have. Why don’t you get angry with me?”
He sat quietly for a moment before he slowly reached around and put his hand on the side of my face. After he turned it toward him, he gently lifted it so I had to look at his face. He stared into my eyes while he searched for something. I had no idea what he was looking for, but after a few minutes, he closed his eyes.
Forgotten Truths (The Forgotten Truths Series) Page 18
