by Lane Hart
And I hate how much it will hurt her when she learns the truth about me. The girl has endured enough pain for ten lifetimes. Here I am, heaping on more. I should’ve come up with another plan to get out of town for a few days.
I guess I’m a selfish bastard for wanting to spend my last days of freedom with her.
Chapter Eighteen
Lucy
* * *
When I woke up to the sound of Nash walking out the door, I quickly got dressed, put in my contacts, ran a brush through my hair and brushed my teeth before going to look for him. Even though his things are still in the room, I was afraid he was up and leaving without saying goodbye.
Instead of finding him downstairs at the breakfast buffet, though, I run into my mother.
“There you are! I’ve been calling you since last night!” she exclaims as she comes hurrying over to me before I can escape without her noticing. Like me, she’s petite, although with a little extra cushion. She has the same pale blonde hair brushing her shoulders and blue eyes.
“Sorry, Mom,” I reply as we hug.
“What were you thinking bringing him here?” she whispers. “What Ellie did to you was horrible, but I can’t believe you would stoop to her level!”
“I didn’t plan to bring Nash, I swear,” I tell her. “It just sort of…happened last minute.”
“Lorraine is losing her mind!” she says about my aunt, her sister and Ellie’s mother. “Apparently, the groom’s family doesn’t know Ellie was married before.”
“Married up until just a few weeks ago,” I mutter. “I’m not obligated to keep her dirty secrets for her.”
“No, but you don’t need to bring them up and cause problems right before the couple’s very expensive wedding while she’s six months pregnant.”
“Again, not my problem,” I seethe. “In fact, I didn’t want to be invited, much less made a ‘substitute bridesmaid’! It’s insulting and embarrassing, which is exactly what Ellie intended to prove she’s better than me!” Even as kids she always had to get her way and was constantly trying to one-up me on everything.
“Then why did you come, sweetheart?”
“Because I couldn’t not come!” I exclaim.
“Calm down,” my mother hisses. “You’re here now, and you need to apologize to Ellie and Barry to try and make things right. Assure them that you aren’t going to air any of their dirty laundry this weekend and you’re not trying to wreck the wedding.”
“I think their dirty laundry went public when he cheated on his girlfriend while she was in the hospital, having surgery and battling cancer.”
“It’s time for you to forgive them,” my mom tells me. “If you ask me, and you better not repeat this to anyone, but Ellie did you a favor by ridding you of that chubby, cheating bastard.”
“I know that now,” I agree. “At the time when it all happened, not so much.”
“What about her ex? Is he going to cause problems?”
“No,” I assure her. “I’m almost certain he doesn’t want anything to do with her.”
“Let’s hope not,” Mom mutters. “Now, go find Ellie and say how sorry you are before this causes an even bigger rift in the family. Lorraine is all the family I have left, and I don’t want to lose her. Ellie should still be in the ballroom getting everything set up for tonight.”
“Okay,” I sullenly agree, even though facing Ellie is the last thing I want to do.
I trudge down the winding hallway, checking every ballroom as I go until I find the one with a dozen uniformed workers, sweating, looking grumpy yet still buzzing around, carrying chairs, pushing tables, etcetera, like worker bees for their queen.
When I finally spot her across the room, she’s not yelling out directions but talking to Nash, the two going toe to toe as they argue. And I would have to be blind to not see how good they look together and not have a heart to feel jealous of the fact that he was once married to her.
What are they talking about so heatedly? Is Nash telling Ellie he wants her back? Is he saying he still loves her even though he also hates her?
Whatever it is, neither of them look very happy. When Nash runs his fingers through his hair in aggravation, he glances around at the people working and his gaze lands on me.
Without breaking eye contact, I watch as his lips barely move like he’s muttering something to Ellie before he starts walking over toward me.
“Hey,” he says when he’s only a few feet away.
“Hey,” I reply. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. I was just coming to apologize to Ellie.”
“For what?” Nash asks when he’s close enough to touch. “You don’t owe her or anyone else an apology.”
“My mother disagrees,” I grumble. “Give me a few minutes, and then I’ll go pack up my things so we can leave.”
“Leave?” he repeats.
“Yeah. Isn’t that what you wanted to do?”
“It was,” he agrees. “But I’ve changed my mind. I think we should stay.”
“You do?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“You know why,” he says. “And now I’m going to kiss you again, okay?”
“Ah, what?” I ask, but then Nash’s big, warm hands are cupping either side of my face and his lips are meeting mine for one soft, sweet kiss that somehow manages to nearly make me melt into a puddle of goo.
I blink my eyes up at Nash when he pulls away and then removes his hands from me. “I’m going to get breakfast. See you there in a few?”
“Um, yeah. Okay,” I reply even though I only heard every other word he said over my galloping heart. Something about breakfast?
Long after Nash is gone, I’m still standing there frozen, wondering what the hell just happened. I thought he would still be pissed at me. I’m sure he is, but I guess he’s sticking with the story that we’re an actual couple and not just two broken-hearted fools here to watch their exes marry each other.
The kiss may have been brief, but I’m sure it’s a moment I’ll replay over and over again later like our hot kiss the other day. First things first, I need to suck it up and do what I came to do.
Taking a deep breath, I make my feet get moving, marching over to Ellie, who is staring in my direction, and probably just witnessed Nash kissing me. She’s always been tall, even when we were kids thanks to her father’s genetics that I missed out on. With perfectly smoothed, natural blonde hair flowing down her back and big blue eyes, she’s never anything less than beautiful.
Instead of thinking about it too long, I just blurt out, “I’m sorry if I caused you any additional stress this weekend by bringing Nash. He didn’t know we were coming to your wedding. If he had, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have come with me. But you invited me, and made me your substitute bridesmaid, and he’s my date, so it is what it is.”
Okay, so that wasn’t the greatest apology ever, but it’s the best I could stomach.
“I was just being nice, trying to include you since you’re family. If I had known you were so vindictive, I wouldn’t have invited you or made you a backup anything,” Ellie grits out.
“If I had known you were a snake who screws guys with girlfriends, I would’ve told you to go fuck yourself. Turns out, you did me a huge favor, showing me Barry’s true colors. Cheaters never stop cheating, so good luck with that. Nash, on the other hand, is sweet and gorgeous. He’s the most loyal man I’ve ever met. He would never do anything to hurt me.”
I tried at first to be nice, but there’s no taking the high road with this bitch.
“Nash will never love anyone more than his stupid MC,” Ellie argues, bringing up the club out of the blue. “They’ll always come first.”
God, she is such an oblivious twat.
“The MC is his family. Those men are his brothers. They’ve never let him down or abandoned him, unlike some people. That’s why they’ll always come first for him no matter what. I’ve never had a problem with the club. I get along just fine wi
th Malcolm and the others.”
“Whatever,” she huffs. “Just stay out of my way this weekend and keep your mouth shut, especially when the reverend asks if anyone objects. Do you think you can do that?”
“Absolutely,” I agree. “Barry is all yours and yours alone for the rest of your long, long life.”
She looks a little shocked at that statement, like she’s never considered what marrying him means for the long term. All she’s been thinking about is probably the size of the rock on her hand and the pool full of his gold she can go swimming in.
Clearing her throat, Ellie asks, “And what about Nash? Aren’t you worried he may try and interfere?”
“Nope. Definitely not,” I reply before turning and walking away.
Am I certain Nash won’t cause a scene during the ceremony? Heck no. But I refuse to let her think I have any doubt that he’s over her.
Nash
* * *
I’ve just sat down at an empty table near the breakfast bar to eat my bacon and eggs while I wait for Lucy, when an older woman plops down right across from me. I start to make a comment about her having the wrong table when I notice her blondish-white hair and face is somewhat familiar. She was the woman standing with Ellie and Barry in the lobby yesterday. She must be Lorraine, Ellie’s mom’s sister, Lucy’s mother.
“My daughter hasn’t been thinking clearly lately, obviously,” she starts without even so much as a friendly greeting. “She’s gone through enough with cancer and surgery that left her sterile, a cheating boyfriend and a family member’s betrayal. I don’t think she can handle any more pain, nor does she deserve more.”
Well, fuck. This woman has somehow managed to make me feel even guiltier than I was already feeling in the span of only ten seconds.
“I care about Lucy,” I put my bacon down and wipe my hands on my napkin to tell her truthfully. “And I don’t ever want to hurt her.”
“Then don’t,” she replies, as if it’s that fucking simple.
Without another word, she gets up and joins the small man in a yellow polo and khakis who was waiting for her and sizing me up, and then the two of them walk off.
Only once they’re gone and I have a moment to myself do I replay the conversation I just had with Ellie.
Did I even ask her why the fuck she left me? No, I don’t think so. And it’s not like I don’t already know. Love, or lust, as it was more frequently in our case, just wasn’t enough for her. She needs the finer things in life to be happy, things only rich guys like the chubby bastard can give her.
I’ve been kidding myself because I never really needed a face-to-face conversation to understand that aspect of the woman I married.
And while I’ve only known Lucy for a few weeks, I already know without a doubt that she’s a better human being than Ellie. It sucks that someone so good has been through so much shit.
“There you are!” my little pixie says when she comes around the corner of the breakfast bar and spots me. I’m not sure where that possessiveness came from. She’s not mine. I can’t be hers when a long prison sentence is likely waiting for me back home.
“Hey,” I say in greeting as she slumps down in the seat across from me, the one her mother recently vacated.
“I thought you might be at the bottom of a few bottles by now after talking to Ellie,” Lucy remarks as I eat.
“Nah.”
“You’re okay?” she asks, blue eyes unobstructed by glass widening in surprise. Since when did she decide to wear contacts? How come I didn’t notice how beautiful her eyes were before?
“Yep.”
“And we’re staying?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Could you maybe try to use more than one syllable words please to let me know what you’re thinking?”
“I’m fine,” I assure her. “What about you?” I ask, wondering if she is ever going to tell me about her battle with cancer.
“I’m…great,” she lies with a fake smile that I see right through. Still, I get it. She’s putting on a brave face, and I’ll let her get away with it this time.
“You just missed your parents,” I tell her before sipping my orange juice.
“Oh no,” she mutters with a wince. “Did they say something to you?”
“They were fine,” I reply. “Now I know where you got your height from. How long ago exactly did your mom and dad decide to leave Munchkin Land?”
Lucy gasps and then leans across the table to slap me on my shoulder, but she’s unable to bite back her grin.
“Not everyone is lucky enough to be over six feet tall,” she remarks.
“I may have been blessed with the tall gene, but at least your parents didn’t skip out on you.”
“True. They are great,” Lucy says with a smile. “I think they’re still a little mad at me for up and moving.”
“You needed to do shit on your own. I get it,” I tell her, meaning I understand about more than just her leaving home, and that I also understand why she came looking for me. It was fucked up that she didn’t tell me from the beginning, but I doubt I would’ve wanted to spend even a minute with her if I had found out she was related to Ellie. Or I would’ve constantly annoyed her wanting to know everything about Ellie.
“So, um, what do you want to do today? We’re free until the rehearsal and dinner tonight at six.”
“Why do you have to go to rehearsal?” I ask in confusion.
“Because I’m the backup bridesmaid. And it’ll be good for me to prepare myself for the ceremony before tomorrow, sort of like a practice run.”
“If you say so,” I mutter.
“Until then, we could go swimming or play some tennis,” Lucy offers, and I give her a look that clearly says, Do I look like the type of man that plays tennis? The swimming is also a hell no, because if I see her in a bikini, my self-control is so low that I would have no choice but to take it off of her, probably with my teeth. Tonight, her wearing the red dress will be all the temptation I’ll be able to stand in one day.
“How about we get out of here and go back to the break shit place?” I suggest. “You didn’t really get a chance to destroy much. And it was a decent stress reliever. You could probably use a good dose before tonight’s rehearsal.”
“You liked it?” she says in surprise, joy brightening her face.
“Yeah, I did.”
“Okay, cool. Let me get a shower and then we’ll go!”
And there she was, back to the Lucy I know and love, the one who uses an exclamation in every other sentence.
Wait. Did I just say love?
Chapter Nineteen
Lucy
* * *
Friday afternoon, as I sit in one of the many white chairs facing the decorated gazebo where tomorrow Barry and Ellie will say their vows for real, I can’t help but look at Barry and wonder what I ever saw in him.
I’m pretty sure it was the blind kind of teenage puppy love. His funny, light-hearted personality when we were teenagers is what drew me in. The rest of him I accepted as is, because that’s what you do when you love someone.
But now, I’m trying to see Barry from Ellie’s point of view after she was married to such a rare, sexy as hell man who she could fuck whenever she wanted. If the two men were cars, then she definitely traded down. It doesn’t take a genius to see Barry’s appeal. His family is rich as fuck, profiting from their pharmaceutical company. He obviously knows and doesn’t care that Ellie’s only about his cash because she’ll make a pretty trophy wife on his arm. They already have a kid on the way to continue the Atwater legacy.
I think the pregnancy is the part that pisses me off the most.
Ellie couldn’t just take the man I loved from me when I needed him the most. No, she had to go and get knocked up, rubbing that other thing I can never have in my face too.
Looking up at the blue sky, I try to blink away the tears stinging my eyes, thinking I maybe shouldn’t have decided to wear contacts this weekend. I really wish Nash
was here with me, but he opted out of the boring rehearsal. Not that I blame him, but he did promise to join me for dinner.
Hanging out with him today, it was just as easy and fun as before. In fact, while I expected Nash to still be furious with me, he actually seemed to be going out of his way to be nice.
Even though there were plenty of chances, he still didn’t tell me about the search warrants or that he’s a suspect for several murders, so I pretended like I didn’t know that the clock was ticking on our time together.
I was also very aware of the fact that Nash didn’t try to kiss me again. Or touch me. Not even once. Which was incredibly disappointing.
Things have changed between us because of my lie by omission. I should probably give up on the delusion that Nash wants me. Maybe he did for a few brief hours or days. Not anymore.
At least I didn’t think he did until I came up to the room to grab him for dinner.
“Are you ready to go eat?” I ask him when I step into the room. By the time the door shuts behind me, I find Nash slouching in his black tee and faded jeans with his legs spread wide in the same armchair he sat in for hours last night, silent, staring off into nothing. Tonight, he’s not just looking at me, he’s staring me down.
“How was the rehearsal?” he asks while his amber eyes trail up and down the front of my body.
“Fine.”
“Liar.”
“I hated every second of it,” I admit truthfully on a sigh. “Happy?”
“No.” Great. We’re back to one-word answers, which I hate. In fact, his voice has never been as stern with me as it is right now. He looks and sounds angry, more so than he was yesterday.
“Everything okay?” I ask in concern.
“No.”
“Well? What’s wrong?”
For a moment, I think he’s going to finally tell me about the dead men. Maybe he talked to Malcolm while I was gone, except I haven’t seen his cell phone since he got in my car. But then he answers me.
