Lola was busy texting. She looked up and saw Andy and Gramma staring at her. She smiled and said, “Buddy. From the university.”
The doorbell rang and Gramma went to answer it.
The postman presented her with a long, wrapped package.
“Thank you so much,” Gramma said. She took the package to the back room where her grandchildren were waiting.
“With Poppy and all the other villains out there, aren’t you afraid to answer the door?” Andy asked.
“Not in the Development, I’m not,” Gramma said. “Impenetrable.”
Gramma ripped the wrapping off the package and cheered loudly.
“It’s the baseball bat signed by Ted Williams,” Gramma screamed. “Woo Hoo. Fabulous.” She read aloud Cabot’s thank you note. “What a great present.” She did a happy dance.
Hearing a knock at the back door, Gramma put the bat down. She could see it was Carl, nervously looking around the yard.
“I’m so glad they have Poppy in custody,” Carl said when Gramma opened the door. “I was worried about you.”
“That’s so kind of you,” Gramma said. “She seems to be determined to get at me all by her lonesome self. That’s her fatal flaw, you know. All criminals have one or two, and Poppy’s narcissism and bullheadedness are hers.” And she tried to date my husband. Very bad judgment on her part.
A light sprinkling began and Carl made small talk about having to get home. He stepped off the porch, into the rain. He looked up at the sky, down at his clothing and back up at the dark, rainy sky.
“You know what?” Carl said. “Watching this rain, I just got another great idea.”
Gramma’s intrinsic alarm went off.
“Wouldn’t it be cool if I put a small car wash attached to my house? Then I could go through it, fully clothed, and wash my body and my clothes all at the same time. Yeah, I could wash my bike and my car, too. I could stand in the sun when I was finished. Maybe get a little outside work done while I’m waiting to dry. I’d never have to shower or wash my clothes again. That’s forward-thinking isn’t it? Everyone would be jealous and want one. I could patent the idea and make a ton of money off it.” He walked away, mumbling about how surprising it was no one had thought of it sooner.
“What was Carl talking about?” Andy asked.
“You wouldn’t believe it if I told you,” Gramma answered. “I hope this means he’s gone off the ‘joining up all our backyards’ brilliant notion.”
Gramma answered her ringing phone and was delighted to hear from Uncle.
“That crazy Poppy Gold escaped from jail again,” Uncle said. “She has more moves than the latest pop star. Anyway, we thought you ought to know. Oh, yeah, and Fernando’s out on bail. He and Poppy have been seen together, carousing around the city and the outskirts of the Development. Looks like she took you up on your instruction that she shouldn’t go it alone anymore.”
“Dear Lord. If she’s hooked up with smelly Fernando, she’ll end up wishing she’d stayed solo. Thanks for letting me know. Is he still wearing those patent leather shoes to work?”
“Shiny and patenty,” Uncle said.
Gramma shook her head back and forth. “Talk soon.” She hung up.
Craving some Gramma attention, Sweetums rushed over to her owner.
“How’s my yittle yittle Sweetums? Huh?” Gramma picked her Pomeranian up onto her lap. “Has that naughty Sneaky Rex been around here lately? He better stay away.”
“I saw Rex waiting at the mailbox yesterday,” Lola said. “It was Doo Doo who was hanging out in the backyard. Obie was there, too, but he wasn’t moving too fast, of course.”
Gramma frowned.
“Don’t you worry your pretty, yittle head about anything,” Gramma said to Sweetums. “We wuv you.” She petted and patted Sweetums who appreciated the well-deserved attention. She ran a brush through her doggie’s fur, all the while telling her how beautiful she was.
Andy and Lola looked at each other.
Gramma texted Bibi she had a present for him and would visit soon after going to Rome.
“That reminds me,” Gramma said aloud.
She texted the Pope to expect her in two days.
The Pope texted back all the details of the arrangements he had made for their visit. Are you bringing Sweetums?
‘Not this time,’ Gramma texted back.
‘I’ll see you soon. Bring the Miniature David with you,’ the Pope wrote.
‘Fino ad allora,’ was Gramma’s reply.
The next text from Red made Gramma laugh out loud.
‘Stick with me, Baby, and you’ll live to be 40.’
‘Hey, fanboy, get your eyeglass prescription checked,’ Gramma texted back.
‘My last offer―stick with me, Baby and you’ll kiss a Prince. Well, maybe not my last offer, but it’s a darn good one.’
‘Already did that, too. Twice.’ She thought about Prince Philip and grinned.
The End. Maybe. Well, nearly. Not really.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Holly Fox Vellekoop is a retired Penn State Clinical Instructor in Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing. She’s the grandmother of six beautiful, fabulous grandchildren. Holly’s books all have the same theme: “Things are rarely what they seem.” In addition to her novels, Holly writes a ‘Dear Gramma’ advice column for newspapers. Visit Holly at www.hollyfoxvellekoop.com.
The Amazing Adventures of Gramma Page 18
