by Liliana Hart
He went back to his workout, trying to dismiss her as he’d done so many times in the last few days. He didn’t want her thinking about Kimball. As far as he was concerned, she needed to stay tucked in bed until the entire mission was over.
“It’s time to talk, Gabe. No more excuses. I’ll meet you upstairs.”
She hurried out of the gym before Gabe could try to stop her or insist she wasn’t strong enough. They were going to get things worked out between them. And then they were going to make love because she honestly didn’t think she could stand the torture of being so close to him and not having him a second longer.
Since Gabe had rescued her, she’d had no choice but to share his room because it had been easier for him to take care of her. There was a spare bedroom on the top floor, but the thought of going back to her own living space wasn’t as appealing as it had once been. He’d stopped sharing the bed with her once she’d been up and moving around on her own. It was damned irritating.
She used his shower, the smell of his soap and shampoo a comfort as she rubbed it across her skin. The hot water beat down on her tired muscles, but also made her aware of how sensitive her skin was to any kind of touch. Each drop of water was a caress, and it took every ounce of willpower she had not to move her hand to the juncture of her thighs.
She turned the water off with a flick of her wrist and stepped out onto the mat. Her gun was just where she’d left it on the back of the toilet seat, and she grabbed a towel off the rack and dried off quickly. Gabe never made any sound when he moved, but she knew he was out there, waiting for her.
She dressed in soft cotton pants and a tank top. The best she could do with her hair was to brush the tangles out and let it air dry. She grabbed her gun and carried it with her into the small living area they’d been sharing.
He stood in the kitchen with his back to her, wearing a threadbare gray T-shirt and old jeans. His hair was damp from his own shower, and he measured coffee as efficiently as he did everything else.
“What’s this all about, Grace? I need to get down to the control room and talk to Ethan.”
She put her gun on the table and went to him in the kitchen since he was determined to make this as difficult as possible.
“I need to say what I have to say,” she said. “And I need you to listen.” She saw his quick nod, even though he kept his back to her.
Her throat was suddenly dry, and she wasn’t quite sure where to start. How to start.
“I know you lost Maddie too, but I need to make you understand.” His shoulders tensed at the mention of their daughter’s name, but she forged ahead. “As much as you loved her, you never felt that life inside your body. Never felt her growing and stretching, or that instant connection that takes every terrible thing I’ve ever done and washes it clean because I know in my heart she’s the one thing in this life that I’ve done right.”
She held up her hand when he turned around and she saw he was going to speak. Her hand shook, so she put it down quickly, but she got what she wanted. Gabe’s lips pressed together, and he nodded again for her to continue.
“And then she was born, and it was a completely different kind of miracle. She was so perfect, Gabe. How could she come from two such imperfect parents?” She licked her lips and tasted the salt of her tears. She hadn’t even realized she’d been crying. “I can’t tell you what it feels like to have to fight so hard to bring her into the world only to sit there helpless as she was taken out of it.”
She couldn’t quite bring herself to look him in the eyes. “I hated you for a while. I hated myself. To the point where I didn’t care if I lived or died as long as I avenged her death. I’ve been struggling on my own for these last two years, determined to forget you and deal with the pain on my own in the only way I knew how. What has the government made us, Gabe? What kind of person am I that my first thought is to go out and kill?”
“The kind who has a conscience. The kind who takes chances because others choose to look the other direction when it comes to right and wrong. We know what real sacrifice is. And we live with it because there’s no other option.” His voice was soft and full of emotion, but she couldn’t meet his gaze. Not yet.
“This hate is like a disease,” she said. “I can feel it creeping over my skin and devouring my soul. It scares me, and I hate the person I’ve become.”
“Give yourself a break, sweetheart. I still love you as you are. The woman you used to be is in there somewhere, but she’s never going to be the same. She’ll be stronger. Because she’s a survivor.”
He moved toward her, and she tried to back away. To get everything said before he touched her and she fell apart. But he wouldn’t let her. He pulled her into his arms, and she broke. Sobs violently shook her body as she soaked his shirt with her tears. Two years of pain, and hate, and loathing tore free until the sounds that came from deep inside her no longer sounded human.
Gabe knelt with her on the floor and rocked her as he would a child, his own tears falling silently against her neck. She didn’t know how long they stayed that way, but when the tears were gone, her body continued to shake with fatigue and the grief that had finally made its way to the surface.
“I don’t want to be this person anymore, Gabe. I can’t be this person anymore. I won’t survive it.”
“And do you want to survive?”
He tilted her face up until she was looking directly into the blue depths of his eyes. They were wet with emotion and held their own silent grief. Grief that had nothing to do with Maddie and everything to do with the pain she’d caused him.
“Yes. I want to survive. I want to live again. With you.”
“Then you will.” He kissed her softly on the lips, and she shuddered against him as the weight began to lift from her shoulders. “We’re going to do it right this time. There are still going to be trouble spots ahead of us. But we’ll do it together. No more running for either of us. I think it would be a good idea to see a grief counselor. I think it’s time for us to heal.”
The tears she thought were gone slipped down her cheeks. “I’d like that, but what if it doesn’t work? I’ll kill you if you ever tell anyone this, but I’m so scared. What if I keep having these breakdowns?”
“Then you do, and I’ll be there to help you through them. Don’t worry about what you can’t control. All we can do is our best and fight through it together.”
They looked at each other a long while until she finally found the courage to say the words she’d never stopped feeling.
“I love you, Gabe.” She touched the ends of his hair and rubbed the silky strands between her fingers, then trailed her way down his neck and up to the coarse beard at his cheeks. She wanted to memorize every texture of this moment. “I just thought I should tell you.”
He kissed her softly, his lips tasting and savoring as if it were their first kiss. It was the kiss of new beginnings, and the slow, dizzying feeling of falling in love all over again.
She didn’t know how they got from the floor to the bedroom, only that everything around her was a hazy dream. She’d remember the love and tenderness he was showing her for the rest of her life, and the way he looked at her as if she were the only woman in his universe.
They undressed each other slowly, his calloused fingers bringing chills to her skin with every caress. And when they were naked, he lowered her to the bed so they were skin against skin. The hair on his chest rubbed against her nipples and made her breasts ache, and she could feel his hardness pressing against the juncture of her thighs.
Grace moved against him, begging without words for him to fill her, but instead he began to kiss his way over every inch of her body, worshipping her with his mouth and hands. He licked and stroked until she was like liquid fire in his arms, and then he rolled her to her stomach and kissed every bruise and scar on her back.
“Please, Gabe. I need you so much.”
He nipped one last time at the base of her spine and then turned her over. He
moved between her thighs and she lifted her legs so they twined around his back. Her heart pounded, and her lungs couldn’t seem to remember how to breathe properly as she felt him prod against her entrance.
“Open your eyes and look at me, Grace.”
Her eyelids were heavy, but she heard the plea in his voice and did as he asked. The stark need on his face was almost her undoing. Her eyes burned with unshed tears.
“This is forever, sweetheart. I love you.”
She couldn’t get the words past her throat, but she inhaled sharply and held his gaze as he pushed inside of her slowly. She felt every ridge of his cock against her inner walls, and her nails dug into his shoulders. He was determined to move at a slow pace—to savor the moment—but she was just as determined to get what she wanted.
She arched against him, her back bowing, and she was climaxing before he was inside her to the hilt, convulsing around him in fine tremors that made him grit his teeth and the muscles in his neck go rigid with his restraint.
“Jesus, Grace.” He held perfectly still, trying to get himself under control. “I want this to last, sweetheart.”
He leaned down and kissed her again, soft lips and the gentle invasion of his tongue as it rubbed sinuously against hers. And then he began to move his hips in tandem with his tongue and all thought left her head. This wasn’t a fast coupling or the frantic mating of two lost souls. It was making love at its core, for two souls that had just been found.
Their fingers entwined, and their gazes held steady even as their bodies slicked with sweat and heartbeats raced. Grace felt the tingles of pleasure gathering low in her womb, as if her skin were too tight for her body. Flutters of pleasure skittered across her sensitive flesh, and she cried out as he began to move faster, plunging inside of her from hilt to tip, making sure he claimed all of her.
“Gabe,” she cried out, locking her legs around him and arching into him as her orgasm started from the tips of her toes and the top of her scalp and then raced like lightning across her skin until she exploded into a million pieces of pleasure.
He shouted her name as he came inside of her and buried his face against her neck. The last thing she thought as she drifted off to sleep was that it was nice to finally be home. She’d missed it.
* * *
They didn’t speak much over the next two days. There was no need for words. But they touched often and made love as if their lives depended on bringing each other pleasure.
“We’re going to eventually have to go downstairs,” Gabe said, skimming his fingers down the gentle slope of her breast and watching in fascination as her nipple hardened under his touch.
“Jack will let us know if Ethan gets a lock on the auction. We’re just waiting at this point. We don’t even know for sure that his scientist was able to recreate The Passover Project. There haven’t been reports of other testing sites.”
“That’s what worries me. It’ll be much harder to isolate The Passover Project as a murder weapon if it’s only killing one person instead of many. I’ve got Ethan looking for high-profile unexplained deaths.”
He pulled the sheet down so she was completely exposed to him. God, she was beautiful, and he felt himself start to get hard again. He should be exhausted, but found he suddenly had energy to spare.
“Can I ask you something?” Grace said.
Gabe could tell by the tone of her voice that the topic was something she’d rather not have to talk about. He rolled to his back and pulled her on top of him, loving the feel of her hair as it slid like silk over his chest.
“I’m serious, Gabe. This is important.”
“You can ask me whatever you want and I’ll give it to you. I’m desperate here.” He held her hips and positioned her over his cock, using the pressure of his fingers to push her down. But she held steady above him, not letting him get what he wanted just yet.
“Do you think we can get married again?”
He froze in his attempts and looked up to see if she was serious. Her face was flushed with a combination of desire and embarrassment, and she wouldn’t quite meet his gaze.
“I know it’s probably not necessary at this point, but I thought—”
“You’re right. It’s not necessary.”
He tried not to smile at the disappointed look that came over her face, and he held her steady on top of him when she tried to go back to her side of the bed. The nightstand that sat next to the bed held a number of important things he always wanted to have on hand. His gun was one of them. His wedding ring the other.
Gabe sat up and pulled the drawer open. Grace struggled against him in earnest now, and he held her in place with one arm as he felt around inside the drawer for what he was looking for. He pulled the silver chain out and held it up in front of her face so she’d see the wide silver band that dangled from it.
The band was plain, with no adornments, and he always wore it around his neck because it was too dangerous to wear a ring in the field. She froze in his arms, and her eyes widened in shock.
“Where’s yours?” he asked.
“I threw it away, you jerk.”
She punched him in the arm and struggled to get out of his lap once again, and he couldn’t help but laugh.
“Like hell you did,” he said, adjusting her legs around his waist so he could slide deep inside of her. She inhaled sharply at his intrusion, and her breasts rubbed against his chest with every shuddering breath she took. He held perfectly still and kept his fingers clamped to her hips like a vise so she couldn’t move.
“Where is it, Grace? I know you still have it.”
“In the bottom compartment of my rifle case,” she finally said.
Gabe gave a crack of laughter and then groaned as it made him move inside her. He stood up and held onto her as he made his way to the kitchen table where her rifle case sat.
“Put me down, Gabe. Why are you doing this?” she asked, struggling against him. “If you don’t want to get married again, it’s not a big deal.”
He sat her down on the table and pinned her thighs when she tried to push away from him. Tears glittered in her eyes along with an angry fire that would get him a right hook in the jaw if he wasn’t careful. He took her mouth in a slow deep kiss and stroked inside of her once—twice—until she was pliant in his arms.
“I never said I didn’t want to get married again. I just said it wasn’t necessary.” He found her ring, a smaller replica of his own also hanging from a sturdy silver chain, in the bottom compartment of her rifle case. “Because we’re still married.”
“Wha—”
“I see you’re speechless for once.” He fastened the chain around her neck and kissed her again. “I’m sorry to say it, but I shredded your divorce papers.”
She laughed and threw her arms around him in sheer joy. “I love you, Gabe. Thank you for not giving up on me.”
“My pleasure, sweetheart.”
Gabe kissed her again, and her legs tightened around his waist while his shook with desire. He didn’t think he’d be able to make it back to the bed, so he lowered them to the carpet and laid flat on his back. She was like a goddess above him—her head thrown back in surrender and his ring flashing like fire as she rode him with complete abandon. All thoughts of control were lost as he felt her clamp around him and cry out his name. All he could do was follow.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
“I found your test subject,” Ethan yelled through the door, pounding against it just to make sure he was heard.
“We’ll meet you downstairs,” Gabe called back, grabbing for his pants.
“I guess it’s back to work,” Grace said. “I want to help, Gabe. I know I disappointed the team before, but I can still do something.”
He looked at her long and hard, but she’d put her shields back in place, and he couldn’t see any hint of the vulnerability he thought he’d heard in her voice.
“I can’t make any promises.”
She nodded in understanding, and he breat
hed a sigh of relief. They dressed quickly in black cargos and matching T-shirts, arming themselves to go one floor below just as if they were going out on a mission. Old habits were hard to break.
“You two look rested,” Jack said lazily as they entered the second floor off the main staircase.
Grace ignored Jack and went to stand over Ethan’s shoulder, and Jack and Gabe shared a silent look. She hadn’t spoken to Jack at all since she’d been rescued from Kimball. Part of her was embarrassed that he’d seen her so out of control, Gabe knew, but another part of her was hurt that he didn’t back her up when Gabe told her to leave Iran. They’d work it out eventually, but there was tension in the air. Only Ethan seemed oblivious to the fact.
Jack was straddling a chair and playing a game of solitaire on the coffee table while Logan was working in the protected area they’d set up for him so he could safely play with explosive materials. He wore clear goggles and seemed to be concentrating intently on his task, but Gabe knew he’d heard every word since they’d walked in.
“What do you have, Ethan?” Gabe asked.
“Check out screen one.” Ethan pulled up files from his computer and displayed them on the wall screen. “Speaker of the House William Sloane was speaking at a college about job growth in front of a crowd of more than three thousand people when he suddenly fell ill and collapsed on stage. The paramedics on scene originally thought it was cardiac arrest, which I guess technically it was if you’re talking about all your organs turning into soup.”
“Ethan,” Gabe said, tiredly. “Stay focused.”
“Right.” Ethan put up photos of varying states of Sloane’s body as the evening progressed on screen two. “Sloane was still conscious and communicating as they airlifted him to the hospital. By the time they were halfway there, the medics stated in their report that he began to bleed profusely from his ears, nose, and mouth. Sloane was dead by the time they landed.”
“I guess Kimball is getting rid of his competition,” Jack said. “He’s not going to want anyone around who knows what The Passover Project is capable of.”
