“You sure about this?”
“Only if you are,” Bella said. “No pressure.”
His half laugh, half groan did nothing to stop her arousal as he palmed her panties, his thumb zeroing in just where she wanted it. Her whole body tightened and she shuddered through a climax.
“Oh, dear Lord!” She stared up at Billy, who was looking as startled as she felt. “I’ve never done that before.”
“Yeah?” His smile was full of wickedness. “Then maybe I’ll have to investigate further, and make sure you can do it again.”
He dropped to his knees and kissed his way up past her thighs, and . . .
Bella reached down and grabbed a fistful of his hair as his mouth and fingers descended on her most sensitive parts and took her straight to heaven and another climax. Tears sprang to her eyes because it was just so good to be touched after so long....
* * *
Billy winced and eased Bella’s fingers out of his hair. He knelt up and looked at her, and his heart stuttered. She looked so beautiful lying there, flushed with the emotions he’d aroused in her. He wanted more; he wanted it all.
She sniffed and wiped at something on her cheek, which had him getting off the floor and sitting back on the couch.
“Are you okay, Bella? Did I hurt you?” Billy had to ask.
She scrambled to sit up, drawing her skirt down over her legs, and grabbed for her bra.
“No, it was lovely. It’s just that I didn’t expect to have all these feelings . . . .” She waved a helpless hand in his direction as she struggled into her bra and put her top back on.
“It’s okay,” Billy said gently. “I get it.”
“I feel so stupid. ”
“There’s no reason to feel like that.” He wanted to give her a hug and tell her that everything would be okay, but he didn’t want to touch her and upset her again.
“I’ve had some relationships since Ron died, and even the occasional bit of sex, but this felt different.”
Billy wasn’t sure whether to be proud or worried about what she was going to say next.
“It’s okay,” he repeated. “How about we do this? You go through to the bathroom, and I’ll meet you back in the kitchen when you’ve freshened up. We can have coffee before I drive you home.”
Billy opened the door that led into the shared bathroom with the office next door and switched on the light. He currently needed a really cold shower, but that could wait until Bella was feeling okay.
He went through to the kitchen, buttoned up his shirt, and washed himself thoroughly in the sink. He didn’t dare tuck his shirt into his jeans again. Bella wasn’t the only one who was confused. He’d felt things he hadn’t experienced with any other woman other than his late wife. If Bella hadn’t said anything, he wondered whether he would’ve been the one to pull back.
He studied his face in the small mirror above the sink. Did he regret what he’d done? No, he couldn’t say that. He’d enjoyed every toe-curling minute. Was he simply too used up to open himself to the possibilities of a real relationship? This didn’t feel casual. It felt like a commitment, and as everyone who knew him was aware; Billy Morgan had the ability to betray everyone. Did Bella deserve that? Would she be a fool to take that chance even if he had the nerve to ask her?
Better maybe to be grateful that she had second thoughts, and leave things as they were....
* * *
Bella gasped as she looked at her flushed face and disheveled hair in the bathroom mirror. She looked like a very satisfied woman. Her whole body was humming with the sexual energy Billy had released in her, and yet she still felt like crying.
She washed her face and hands several times, and used her fingers to flatten down her hair, as she’d left her purse in the kitchen. Did she have the nerve to walk out there, smile at Billy, and pretend that nothing was wrong—that he hadn’t just given her one of the best sexual experiences of her life without even trying?
She touched her reddened cheeks. If she hadn’t cried, would he have carried on? How would it have felt to have Billy Morgan inside her? She was the one who’d encouraged him to kiss her and develop their relationship, and she was the one who’d lost her nerve. She had a sense that if she ever got naked and horizontal with Billy, she would no longer have the ability to deny that she cared for him very deeply.
“So much for a casual fling,” Bella sighed. “I’m obviously not cut out for that.”
She reluctantly left the bathroom and made her way back to the bright lights of the kitchen where Billy was busy cleaning away their meal. He glanced up as she entered and pointed at the coffeemaker.
“Help yourself. I’ll join you when I’ve finished up.”
Bella swallowed hard. “I could help if you like?”
“No, I’m good.” The smile he offered her was no different than usual, which kind of hurt. “I’m just stacking the dishwasher. How about you fix me some coffee while you’re getting yours? Cream’s in the refrigerator.”
Desperate for something to do with her hands, Bella complied, then sat at the countertop sipping her coffee while Billy worked. He didn’t look upset. Maybe he was fine about everything, and she was the only one who’d gotten things out of proportion.
He washed his hands and dried them before coming to pick up his mug of coffee. He didn’t sit beside her, but stood on the other side of the countertop, keeping the barrier between them.
Bella waited to see what he was going to say, but he focused on his coffee. Maybe he was waiting for her to speak first, but what the heck was she supposed to say? Sorry? Thank you? Nothing seemed right.
After chugging his coffee with some speed, Billy went into the back of the kitchen, and returned with a pile of paper that he set on the countertop beside Bella.
“Here’s a list of everything we tasted, and an approximate cost estimate depending on the quantities. When you get time, look through it, and get it back to me, okay?”
Bella nodded, took the printouts, and stuffed them in her purse. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Would you like more coffee, or shall I see you home?”
* * *
Bella sat beside Billy in his truck as he navigated the ice-covered roads into Morgantown. He talked about the ranch, his kids, and the upcoming wedding celebration in an easy, conversational way that helped ease Bella’s excruciating nerves.
When they reached the parking lot behind the bar, he pulled up and cut off the engine.
Bella rushed to open her door. “It’s okay. You don’t have to get out. I’m fine from here.”
“Jay would kill me if I didn’t see you right to your door.” Billy was already stepping down from his side of the truck. He walked beside Bella to the kitchen door and waited as she fumbled in her purse for her keys. The bar was still open, and the cheerful hum of the jukebox and conversation floated out from the open windows.
Bella found her keys, unlocked the door, and made herself look up into Billy’s face.
“I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about.” He smiled. “Let me know about the menu, okay?”
She touched his arm. “I didn’t know I was going to feel like that—I . . .”
“Hey, it’s all right.” He held her gaze, his blue eyes steady, his tone soothing. “As long as you’re okay, we’re good.”
“You’re not mad that you didn’t get any?” she blurted out, and then winced.
“I’ll survive.” This time his smile was crooked and way more genuine. “Night, Bella. Thanks for coming up to the ranch.”
He tipped his hat to her, turned, and walked away, leaving her standing there feeling somewhere between foolish and very, very blessed.
Chapter Five
“Everything okay, Mom?” Jay’s head came around the door of her office.
“Oh, hi! You scared me!”
Bella scrambled to hide the tab open on her laptop that held details of the wedding party. She’d received confirmation from Erin’s
family that they would attend, had sorted out accommodation at Hayes Hotel, and just needed to go over the final catering arrangements with Billy.
For some reason she was dragging her heels on that last matter. . . .
“You look kind of guilty to me,” Jay joked. “Are you buying shoes again?”
She laughed. “You know me so well.”
He leaned against the door frame and continued to regard her. “How’s Sonali working out for you?”
Bella swiveled her chair around to face him. “She’s amazing.”
“Good.” He nodded. “I’m just off to the suppliers. Do you have a list for the kitchen?”
“Yup.” She found it on her desk and handed it over to him. “Same old stuff.”
“I haven’t heard anyone complaining.” Jay obviously wasn’t finished. “Are you okay yourself?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bella asked.
“You seem a bit down.”
“I’ve just been busy. Even though Sonali’s a quick learner, I’ve still had to go through everything with her.”
“You sure that’s it?” Jay persisted.
Bella fixed him with her best Mom stare. “If you have something to say, Jay Ronald Williams, why don’t you just spit it out?”
He came in and sat down on the only other chair. “I saw you with Billy Morgan at church last Sunday.”
Bella raised her chin. “Doing what?”
“Nothing in particular.” He hesitated. “It was just the way he was looking down at you—like you were really special to him.”
She shrugged. Having a son who’d been a Navy SEAL meant he noticed every tiny detail. “We’ve known each other since we were kids. We’re good friends.”
“I know that, but this was something new.” He looked at her. “If you want to have a relationship with him, I wouldn’t mind.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Like I’d be consulting you?”
He smiled. “You’d think I’d be worried you’d forgotten Dad. I wouldn’t. I want you to be happy.”
“That’s very nice of you, but maybe I can’t get over your father. Maybe it’s me who’s the problem,” Bella said.
“There’s no shame in moving forward, Mom,” Jay said gently. “I had to learn to let go of the past, and trust Erin.”
“I know you did.” She smiled at him. “I’m very proud of you both.”
“I just want you to know that I love you, and that I’ll always have your back whatever you choose to do.” He came over to drop a kiss on the top of her head. “Thanks for everything you did for me when I came home from the hospital. You were my rock. I don’t tell you that enough.”
“Oh, get along with you.” She gave him an affectionate smack on the rear. “I’ve got to get back to the kitchen. Avery found me a great dishwasher as well, so I hardly have to do a thing anymore.”
He laughed, and went out leaving her sitting there feeling like crying again. His words had hit home, but she still wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with them. She glanced down at her desk, her gaze coming to rest on the menu options Billy had given her.
Whatever she did next, she owed Billy an explanation. They’d been friends for too long to not seek closure. She’d give him a call later and ask him to come round to discuss the details when he was next in town.
* * *
“Did you hear back from Bella?” Ruth asked Billy as he sat down to eat his dinner at the crowded family table.
“Yeah. I had a text from her today, actually. I’m going to sort out the details with her this evening after my AA meeting.”
Billy was glad he had something to report. After three days of silence he had started to wonder whether Bella would ever speak to him again. And he already missed her company in so many ways....
“Good, because if we are going to pull this party off, we really need to get the supplies in just in case it starts snowing and the roads become impassable.” Ruth passed him the jug of iced tea.
“Good point.”
“I hear you’re going to do all the cooking, Dad.” Chase spoke up from the other side of the table.
“Yeah, seeing as Gustav isn’t here, I thought I’d pitch in.”
“I keep forgetting you can cook,” Chase said.
“That’s because no one up here seems to require my help.” Billy met his eldest son’s gaze, aware that everyone else around the table was now focused on their conversation. Maybe it was because he was heart sore over Bella, or maybe it was just time for some plain speaking. “I offered to run the guest kitchen, but you all shouted me down.”
Chase frowned. “Because that’s not who you are.”
“What exactly am I, then?” Billy asked. “You’re the financial wizard, BB takes care of the horses, Ry and HW manage the special programs, and Roy runs the whole goddamn ranch with Ruth.”
“That’s not fair.” Blue Boy, his bluntest son, was quick to get into the conversation. “You gave up those things. You said you didn’t want the responsibility.”
“I said I didn’t want to rock the boat,” Billy responded. “You know why.”
BB glanced around the table at his siblings. “Because you don’t deserve any of this, right? Because you walked out on us.”
“Yes.”
BB shook his head. “You still tiptoe around here like you’re a paying guest—like you can’t comment on anything in case you offend someone.”
Billy just stared at him. “Go on.”
Chase stirred. “BB—maybe this isn’t the time.”
“No.” Billy held up his hand. He was just glad his granddaughter Maria wasn’t present to hear her father BB’s speech because she wouldn’t appreciate them arguing. “Let him speak.”
BB sighed. “Look, all I’m trying to say is that you don’t have to do that. It doesn’t matter what you say, we all know this is your place—that you coming back to Morgan Ranch returned its soul. Tell us we’re crap. Tell us where we’re going wrong. We accepted you back a long time ago. We want you here.”
Billy looked around the table where everyone was nodding along with BB’s words. He gripped the table hard to remind himself that he wasn’t dreaming as his son’s blunt words sunk in.
“It’s still your ranch, Dad,” BB said quietly. “You’re the one who taught us how to love it when we were kids, just like you did. You’re the reason we all came home.”
Billy managed a nod and then turned on his heel and escaped the kitchen before he did something stupid like bawl his eyes out. How had his children managed to grow up so smart despite their parents’ bad choices? He got into his truck and drove to town. The need to sit quietly in his AA meeting and process what had just happened consumed him. Perhaps listening to how others had overcome their demons, and still struggled, would reset and restore him.
* * *
Bella glanced at the clock as someone knocked on the back door and then checked her cell. There was a text from Billy suggesting he meet with her after she’d finished her shift. It was getting close to that time now. She usually stopped taking orders an hour before the bar closed, and it was almost ten now.
Sonali closed the refrigerator and came over. “I’m done—unless you can think of anything else that needs attending to?”
Bella smiled as she went to open the back door. “No, you’ve been great. I can’t believe you agreed to work for me.”
“It’s fun! I love learning new things,” Sonali said as she took off her apron. “I don’t think I’ll stay here forever, but I’d rather be cooking than sitting around the apartment feeling sorry for myself with Dev moaning about me not paying rent.”
Bella checked it was indeed Billy outside, and opened the door.
“Come on in. I’m just finishing up.” She stepped aside as Sonali came back with her hat and coat. “Have you met Sonali, Billy?”
“Yes, we met at the ranch during her interview with Gustav.” Billy shook Sonali’s hand. “How are you doing? Is Bella treating you okay?”
/> Sonali grinned. “She’s awesome and I’m having a great time.” She glanced back at Bella. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Are you good walking home, Sonali?” Billy asked.
“Thanks, Mr. Morgan, but it’s literally across the street. Dev’s probably already standing at the window twitching the drapes to make sure I cross the road properly.” Sonali winked. “He takes his big brother duties very seriously.”
She crammed her woolen hat on her head, put on her coat, and set off whistling, her hands in her pockets.
Suddenly all too aware that she was now alone with Billy Morgan, Bella went into the kitchen. There was very little left to do, but completing the regular tasks helped her calm down and get used to being around Billy again.
Without asking, he helped out, putting things away and cleaning surfaces. The bar was still packed, and the noise drifted through the kitchen as they completed their tasks.
“I’ll just go and tell Jay I’m done and I’ll be right with you,” Bella said.
“Not a problem.”
For some reason Billy looked more solemn than usual, his warm smile absent. Was he expecting her to deliver bad news, or was something else going on?
After saying good night to Jay, she returned to the kitchen and led the way upstairs to her apartment, where she’d left a single light burning in the window. Billy came in behind her and shut the door.
“What a great view of Main Street and the Christmas lights.” He went into the kitchen and stared out over the street.
“It’s great until the drunks get out,” Bella said.
He swung around to look at her. “My AA meeting got out about an hour ago. Hopefully none of them showed up here.”
Bella winced. “Sorry that came out wrong—”
“It’s okay. It was my lame attempt at a joke.” He drew a sheaf of papers out of his coat pocket. “I brought a copy of the menu suggestions in case you’d lost yours.”
“I have them right here.” Bella put on the coffeemaker. “I marked my choices, and I’ve written you a check for ten percent as a deposit.”
“I think I trust you.” His smile this time was sweet. “I even know where you live.”
A Season to Celebrate Page 14
